Reviews For Once Upon A Time
Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 01/05/10 10:25
Chapter: 2 - Welcome To Hogwarts

I really like how you presented the Muggle Studies course. I was convinced why it was necessary. I can also understand how some students would think it was a pushover class. I've seen that happen in real life. Slughorn sounds like kind of a jerk--or maybe someone who isn't too sensitive to the feelings of those around him. He kind of comes off as sexist. I even thought Elizabett's quarters sounded kind of attractive--although I was imagining bright, intense modern colors and this was taking place back in the 30s wasn't it? Good chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks for the great review, and itís good to hear from a new voice. Horace was never one of my favourite characters. To me, he came off as self-serving, enjoying the benefits from his trophies ie. Free tickets, advantages over other people. Three years ago, when I wrote my first FF, Slughorn played a similar role of using people to his advantage. Later, when the other books and movies came out, his image was solidified in my mind. And, yes, I think he could have very easily been sexist back in the 1930ís. Many men were. As for Elizabethís quarters, they were in Hufflepuff colours to make her feel at home, but the bright colours irritated her. It was like living in a beehive. Just another reference to Dumbledore Ė busy bee. Iím glad to see that youíve kept reading. I hope it keeps your attention. Itís now up to 56 chapter (and nearing the end). It covers a number of years, and although it stands alone, it could easily be read as a prequel to the Creating a Ghost trilogy. On to your next review. Dani

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 01/04/10 19:42
Chapter: 1 - Elizabett

I'd been planning on reading this for a while so I thought that now's the time. Interesting that she was sorted into Hufflepuff. Also interesting to find out who her neighbors are. I'm assuming that the Transfiguration professor is Dumbledore and I found it intriguing that her Slytherin father told her to listen to Dumbledore because he's brilliant. I take it there was a time in the past when Dumbledore had the support of purebloods. Good chapter.

Author's Response: Glad you're liking it. This was supposed to be a reasonably short chapter story but somehow got away from me. It developed beyond my expectations, and I don't think you'll be disappointed. Keep in touch and let me know how the rest flows for you. Dani

Reviewer: dominiqueweasley
Date: 12/17/09 21:47
Chapter: 1 - Elizabett

I'm very interested in this story... the Grindelwald stuff absolutely freaks me out because they BOTH have secrets about him and neither of them know it... I feel like bad things are going to happen when they do find out. I'm quite curious to see how Albus decides to go after Gellert in the end, and what really happens at the duel, presuming thats in the story. :)
Great writing, keep it up!

Author's Response: A new voice! Good to hear from you. I think you'll like this story. It puts a different twist on things. At the moment, it's up to 23 chapters here, but 54 have been written, with a few more to end it. Keep in touch, I'd like to hear what you have to say. Dani

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 11/14/09 22:45
Chapter: 17 - The Courtship of Elizabett and Albus

EEEP!!

I have been reading...but not reviewing as faithfully *hangs head in shame*.

This story is so interesting. The way you interweave what we are familiar with what we can only speculate about is done really smoothly and doesn't feel forced. And although we know what happens, eventually...we still don't know how they get there, and this journey that you are telling is very intriguing and enthralling.

Thanks for the updates and the fascinating story!

~Amanda

Author's Response: So glad you're enjoying it. It's a lot longer than anticipated. Up to 53 chapters now, but I can see the end in sight...hopefully. Thanks for the review. Keep in touch. Dani

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 10/03/09 14:04
Chapter: 16- Allies In Familiar Territory

Oh, I've been missing updates again! *Drat work!*

Anyways, things just took a turn for the super interesting in the last chapter - Elizabett is an extremely daring individual - kudos to you for creating this amazing character that continues to grow more complex and more believable. I am digging her, lol.

I really enjoyed reading the scenes with Albus at her parent's house. It was so...Albus, lol. He was there when she got home, he was chatting it up with her parents, saying the right things to win them over, but the truthful things...they are just too cute. I am amazed everytime I finish a chapter at how cute I find Albus Dumbledore to be in an adult relationship, and that is a testament to your writing.

Another testament is the way you've fit this story into canon with Grendewald. I know the outcome, but..this journey is really exciting, and I can't wait to see how it develops.

~Amanda

Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying it. I didn't think this story would take off as Dumbledore is not one of my favorite characters. But, with the focus on the OC, it has really come along. So far, I'm working on Chapter 50!! Eekk! A whole lot bigger than I anticipated! I hope you keep reading ane reviewing. Dani

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 09/01/09 22:30
Chapter: 13 - Stargazing

Ohhhh, what a delicious chapter. I never thought I'd be describing a nice little snog fest with Albus Dumbledore as delicious, but there you have it! It was!

I could really picture the scene out by the lake - viewing the night sky as I rarely get to view it anymore, too close to civilization. Though they've both felt something before, this whole scene felt like a build-up…I got a little more tense until it got to the end and I was like, "Do it Albus!"

It always starts out innocent: "Oh sit down here!" Then he lays down, then a confession, then they turn to talk more comfortably…then BAM! It's snog fest time, and it was good. I personally didn't think it was overdone. It seemed right for Albus to make the move and then step back and say, "Hey. Do YOU understand what just happened?" And as soon as he is sure, he just took control of the situation after letting her make her own conclusions. Does that make sense?

It did a little fluffy! at the end…with the wishing on a star line. It seemed to me like it could have ended on the long paragraph, "both happy and content."

Anyway, I hope that made sense…yea for some romance! Though I doubt this is the end of their tale, or that they have a super!happy ending, at least not right away. I know the ending is alternative universe, and I am not trying too hard to analyze what part of it is alternate; is it just Albus' sexuality?

Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked the chapter. Short and sweet, and yes, okay, I got a bit corny at the end. We'll deal with Albus' sexuality in the future, and his relationship with Elizabett will take time to develop. So far, this story is a lot longer than anticipated - 47 chapters!! I hope yo're up to it. ;-D Dani

Reviewer: greennotebook
Date: 08/30/09 13:09
Chapter: 12 - A Place To Think

Aaaaah! This chapter was disappointingly short but amazingly exciting!

First of all, my head is spinning at the fact that Elizabett knows Gellert Grindelwald, and knows him well enough to call him Gellert and have a Mysterious Past with him. This new insight into Elizabett's secret-keeping abilities is making me think. I must encourage you to update soon, because this chapter opened up far too many new questions to be completely satisfying.

Also, check out the QSQ pages. For what it's worth, I had the idea before you suggested it. ;-)

Author's Response: The update in in queue and takes yet another twist. ;-) I know it was short, but longer ones are coming. So far, this story is up to 47 chapters. A whole lot more than I anticipated! Thanks for the QSQ nomination. I know it's a popularity contest, but it's always nice to know you're appreciated. Keep in touch. Dani

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 08/25/09 15:02
Chapter: 12 - A Place To Think

Oooohhh, what a lovely and dark transitional chapter. I'm calling it that because I felt like we really didn't find out any new additional information except for the introduction of Gellert and it was quite short.

It still contained the same charm and poetic-ness of the language.

Elizabett's character keeps becoming more appealing to me and more complex as well. Her relationship with Albus moves to greater heights with this information, as I'm sure as the story progresses and his relationship with Gellert changes this information is already known or will become known. Either way, it will add greater depth.

Lovely chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review. Yes, this was meant as a transitional chapter. Just enough to introduce Gellert, and a hint of possibilities to come. This story has become much longer than anticipated, and much is covered. I hope you keep reading. Dani

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 08/16/09 19:34
Chapter: 11 - Controversy and Confrontation

Oh my, I must admit that I thought it would make things easier for her to turn to Albus if Thomas were to do that, but I didn't think he would. For shame! "I have needs." Blah, men!

I must say, I just stopped reviewing this evening and read right on until the end. :) I am completely drawn into Elizabett's tale and I cannot wait for the next update! I would very much like to see what Professor Dumbledore thinks of this new development in her life...

Author's Response: OhÖthatís coming. The next chapter is in queueÖbut itís not one youíre expecting. *Snort* Thought Iíd throw something else at you guys. :-) Dani

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 08/16/09 19:08
Chapter: 8 - Happy Holidays

Hmmmm....the romantic intrigue continues! I just can't help it, I still like Thomas, my heart goes out to him, and I certainly don't envy Elizabett's position. It seems as if Thomas and Albus were presented in separate situations to juxatopose Elizabett's reactions.

This story is a wonderfully romantic historic mysterious story! I'm getting spoiled, reading so many chapters at once. And I haven't forgotten about Slughorn! :)

Author's Response: Iím glad youíre still with it. It was supposed to be shortÖbut isnít. I got carried away. Dani

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 08/16/09 18:54
Chapter: 7 - Never Too Old To Learn

Oh, I am liking Slughorn less and less. And Elizabett more and more. The development of Albus and Elizabett's relationship continues to be deliciously slow and complex.

I would have thought there would have been some mention in the past two chapters somewhere of Thomas and their correspondence.

Author's Response: I guess my attention was elsewhere. Albus and Elizabett are ďjust friendsĒ. Just wait to see what happens. Dani

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 08/16/09 18:21
Chapter: 6 - Some Things Are Best Served Cold

I must first say that a sixth year McGonagall being distracted by the Gryffindor seeker was priceless, and once again it was nice to have it brushed by with out being overdone. Something you are talented at.

That being said, this chapter certainly upped everything. The suspense, certainly, on all fronts -…I did not thing originally that I would enjoy the romantic aspect of Dumbledore with a younger woman who had a much more (on the surface) admirable man already returning her affections. The way this is starting to play out and develop is slowly changing my mind. I definitely am enjoying this story very very much!

I liked the beginning from Dumbledore's POV as well (although we don't know much more than we did before, lol). And Elizabett's interplay with him, and her dialogue with Slughorn, made my admiration for her increase.

Author's Response: I like the way Elizabett plays with Albus. She keeps the relationship friendly and casual. As for SlughornÖhe never was one of my favourites. He always seemed to be self-important, someone who enjoys trophies.I had to make Elizabett hold her own with him. Dani

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 08/16/09 18:06
Chapter: 5 - Food For Thought

I've been seeing this updated for a few weeks and I just haven't had time to properly read when I could review it! I have time today so I made it a priority because this has been a really great story and I wanted to catch up!

This is a wonderfully written story, full of intrigue, mystery, romance, and beautiful language. Elizabett is a complex character who is within the bounds of her social class and times, but still has spunk and makes me giggle, like when she was talking with Slughorn about her Potions class.

Though we know the end result of Dumbledore and Grendewald, there are so many details we don't know. The mysterious errands of Dumbledore, his quiet observations (and sarcastic comments), the subtle power and watchfulness…it is almost a reflection of Dumbledore in HBP. That's a compliment. :) He seems to be a very difficult character to write, and his interactions with Elizabett are tasteful and not overdone.

And what can I say about Thomas? *sigh* He's dreamy. And still a developed character, though I hope to see more of him in the future involved in something other than his relationship with Elizabett, as he seems like an intelligent and capable wizard.

Author's Response: Iím glad you finally found the time. I hear from so few people. Itís a writerís privilege to hear what the reader thinks of their work. Iím so glad that youíre enjoying the story. This one is actually a prequel to a trilogy that I wrote a while back, although it stands alone quite nicely. More developments to come. Dani

Reviewer: greennotebook
Date: 08/16/09 10:14
Chapter: 11 - Controversy and Confrontation

I cannot BELIEVE this story does not have more reviews! It might be my favorite on the forums at the moment, so I suppose it's about time for me to leave a review myself.

I absolutely love the integration of history with JKR's world, especially parts of history that we modern readers don't always focus upon (the German/Chinese relationship prior to WWII, for example). I think you've done a very good job placing the story into context. The addition of a Muggle Studies class seems very 1930s, somehow.

Your characterization, however, is the strongest aspect of this story. The books portray Slughorn as rather ineffectual, but he must have been more formidable in his youth in order to survive as head of Slytherin House. Dumbledore's strict control over himself in regards to Elizabett is crucial to his puppet-master character. I'm sure he'll break eventually, but I can't imagine him throwing caution completely to the wind.

I love your portrayal of the Wizarding upper class, all full of dignity and muted antagonism. Elizabett is challenging their dominance in a very bold way, but her adversaries are very political in their opposition. It makes for a very tense and realistic situation.

As for Thomas and his character, is it bad that as soon as he stopped pestering Elizabett about physical attentions, I guessed what he had done? Clearly, there is someone better for Miss Castlewood out there somewhere....

Not to end the complete love fest, but I do have a nit-picky punctuation comment on this chapter. After Elizabett asks Thomas if Kalina is giving him what she wouldn't, she says "From what I saw, she probably is?" I believe that should be either a period or exclamation point. It seems less like a question and more like an accusation or assertion.

So yes. I love your characterization, your plot-building and your tone of writing. I am very much looking forward to reading the next chapter. Keep up the excellent work!

Author's Response: Thank you for such a detailed and lovely review. Yes, I agree. Iím surprised that not more people review. The story is certainly being read. I guess I should be happy that people are sticking with it. It was a hard one to start. One of your favourites? cough, cough...Quickquills... cough... Have you read the trilogy? Two years nominated, but never won. shucks. I like integrating reality with the fiction. I find it makes the story more believable. Iíve done a lot of research, but have to admit, I got carried away with two ideas and misplaced Minerva and Hagrid in the wrong years. Minerva actually began school with Tom Riddle, and Hagrid and Tom are actually three years apart. Their roles here werenít huge, but it bumped the story out of Canon and into Alternative Universe. Ooppps. As for the historical facts, yes, these places and things do exist and did happen. More to come on thatÖ Slughorn was never one of my favourites. He always seemed a bit self-serving. Thatís why heís my bad boy. Iíll go back and check the error you pointed out. That one slipped past my weeks of editing and the mods who validate. Thank you for pointing it out. The next chapter is in queue and should be ready in about 10 days. Keep in touch. Dani

Reviewer: ahattab33
Date: 06/19/09 12:17
Chapter: 4 - Samhain

Very interesting premise and very good story! The name "Elizabett" is perfect for this time period, and I am interested to see how things progress, with both her relationships and with her class. I will continue reading. You write this time period very well!

I though Slughorn's line in Chapter 3 was great: it was something to the effect of "We are to impart knowledge, not let them find it for themselves". It made even me indignant! :) I'm not sure if I quite agree with his characterization, but it's been a while since I've read the books or canon descriptions concerning his attitudes. He just seems a little too...rude? Boorish? In HBP he just seemed somewhat clueless as to what the people around him were thinking, and he was definitely selfish, but I never got the impression that he believed the things he believes in this story, or that he was quite so rude. I do like his relationship with Dumbledore; they seem to have confidences and that they've been old friends--letting the other to see what no one else can see, being honest. Especially the part at the end when he goes to Albus' room.

Albus' feelings for Elizabett were unexpected, but I've never read a story where he has any sort of love interest like this and I'm excited to see where it goes! We don't know much yet about Thomas, but as she's known him her entire life, I'm inclined to like him. :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much for such a kind review. Iím trying hard to intertwine the events of the time period with the story, and I think you may be in for a surprise or two or moreÖ Slughorn was never one of my favorite characters. I always saw him as selfish and self-serving, and it fit with JKRís info that he uses people for purposes of personal prestige. Very little is known about his personal life (or preferences), so I played with that aspect in his and Albusí relationship. Expect more. Youíll see more of Thomas and he is a constant figure throughout the story. Iíll try to post as each chapter is validated, but it is only as fast as the validation. I hope to hear from you again. Dani

Reviewer: Rislans88
Date: 06/08/09 15:25
Chapter: 3 - Something To Talk About

very nice update!! i can't wait to read more :)

Author's Response: More is on the way. Dani

Reviewer: Rislans88
Date: 05/31/09 14:51
Chapter: 2 - Welcome To Hogwarts

this update was really great!! i'm really liking this story and can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you. I was a bit nervous, because it was so different from the trilogy. I wasn't sure how people would take it. I very happy to hear that you're enjoying it. Dani

Reviewer: buffyslayer
Date: 05/27/09 0:06
Chapter: 1 - Elizabett

Very interesting developments in this tale; Elizabett is quite the character. You did a wonderful job with the foundation of this tale. A+ work, indeed.

Author's Response: Thank you. I know this chapter was a bit heavy with a lot of information, but it does get lighter. Dani

Reviewer: Sariana
Date: 05/18/09 17:52
Chapter: 1 - Elizabett

I'm glad you're posting this story here. I presume that means the queue problems have been resolved?

Author's Response: I hope so.For the last few months, waiting hadbecome very frustrating, but thanks to Hannah, I think we've got the problem settled. This story has a different pace from the trilogy, but you should be able to see the connections. It also stands alone which is good for those who haven't read the previous ones. Dani

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