your caring on jk rowlings work very well
chapters are a bit shorter then i would like but it is a great story i am waiting for your next chapter please hurry
I love the quote at the end! A really good, strong beginning.
i like this alot, keep writing! i kno how u feel, on occasion I have a weird writing thing go off in my head and i have a million and one things to write for my story but the next I cant think of a single thing to write- but the difference is I dont have AMAZING reviewers like myself waiting for an update. so get to it PLEZ!- Elle
From the other reviews, I see that you've had several more people review! LOL I responded the way I did because I read what you said in your author's notes! :)
Well, I guess I'll be your second reviewer now. :) I'm definitely enjoying the story so far, despite a few typos I've found. I think you handle the story well, and I really liked the prologue as well. During the first chapter, there was almost a hazy quality to Harry's thoughts which went perfectly with the sense of surrealness - like the battle didn't even happen. And I liked how you led into the stark reality of Fred's death and the grief of the family. It was like Harry and the reader were waking up from a dream and facing the aftermath of the batle. The third chapter with the funeral was well-written as well. You do a great job of capturing the realness of death and the fact that families have to move on after a tragedy. I loved the part where Mrs. Weasley comes down to fix breakfast and yells at Ron too. It's a great example of her strength even in impossible situations. Anyway, it's been a great story so far! Hope you can update soon! :)
This is great! Thanks for adding a new chapter!
you had me crying by the second paragraph!!! i especially like the change in Fleur.
I love this and can't wait to read more!! Please update soon....
very sad, but nice in a way beause it feels like it fills in the gap between the end and the epilogue, more please :)
Loved it, write more, can't wait. ;)
You have a talent for writing you should nurture. I really hope you follow this story through, it's been the most Rowling faithful post DH I've seen, in both storyline and character interaction.
I would like to start off by saying that I enjoyed this chapter. You gave a nice tone to 'the days following the battle' which was nice to see.
I liked how you tried to show grieving while at the same time, having the characters joking and trying to hide their feelings.
However, saying all of this, the characterization is not working for me at some parts. When Ginny is crying and then all of a sudden she is laughing about Ron wanting to eat, seems a little rushed and unrealistic. I think, also, that Mrs. Weasley doesn't seem too upset in comparison to how we have seen her portrayed before, but maybe she is just trying to deny Fred's death?
One small spelling error that seems rather repetitive is your spelling of 'ok'. Generally in writing you would write the whole word out so that it would say 'okay.'
I also found that for the amount of dialogue you had written there could have been more description. It is sometimes hard to get a feel for the scene and picture it when you are constantly reading dialogue, which makes it harder to follow.
Now, there is one thing that I would like to mention here as it had the most effect on me. I loved your little bit about the 'war symbol'. Your description of it was perfect, not too much or too little, and actually brought a lump to my throat. The way you had Ginny guess that it was Dumbledore, how it was Percy who came up with it, was all perfect! I do think that 'war symbol' sounds a little strange, but other then that, I really enjoyed it.
The light humor that you added with Harry and the earlobes had me laughing, and it lightened the scene just enough, though I do think that the Ron always being hungry is rather cliched.
Just one last question for you, though. Where was Fleur? We heard about all of the Weasley except her. Did she go home after the battle? I'm inclined to think that she didn't, she would have wanted to stay with Bill and the family.
I am excited to see where you take this. Your writing has a way of drawing a person in, and the small french that you use at the beginning is very nice. I love the tone that is being set here, and I think that you have written the Ron/Hermione relationship rather nicely. Continue the great work!
lliked the intro...good job!
This is the story that is as close as the original from JK from my point of view.Your are a brilliant writer.Keep writing that way and I am waiting for the next chapter.
Wonderful story, nicely written
wow...i want to say much more but can't find the words! it just seems very right and so true to the books and the characters. just keep writing and i promise to keep reading!
okay i love this story!! i'm addicted to it now so please please please update really soon.
very realistic which is how i like them...it also corroborates nicely with the series...keep writinggg!!