he he, that was v. funny! bravo
please update soon
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! An update is coming!
Snape certainly has a shining future as a poet!
Did he really think that calling Lilly a "little mouse" would win her over?
Author's Response: Yes, well, now you know why he went with being a potions master instead. :) Thank you for the review!
HAHAHA! i loved this chapter! bravo! this story just keeps getting better and better! and the poem was gr8! Snape's got talent! i hope you update soon! (u got this chapter up rlly quickly)
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you! I like to imagine Snape as a closet-poet... Anyway, an update is soon to come!
Ah, the drama! Now we can watch James wooing Lily and blackmailing Snape. You've done a good job of setting this up to be entertaining.
Author's Response: Thanks! I try my best.
very very good! hmmmm.... i think that they will figure out how to use a video recorder (that could be funny watching the marauders figure out muggle equipment) and they could pay some girl (or promise a date with james!) to pretend she likes snape then they can watch snape being dumped and threaten to show the WHOLE school that tape... thatd be mean but its what the marauders do! good luck with all ur ideas!
Author's Response: Thank you for the suggestion! Poor Snape wouldn't stand a chance.
Yayayayayay! I'm so glad that you updated with another fantastic chapter!!! Hmmm... I think the marauders will bribe snape. Or maybe they will find out what he is scared of and the use it as blackmail! Sirius Blackmail! Please update soon!
Author's Response: Another good guess! (And pretty close, too, I might add.) The Marauders will hatch a plan in the fourth chapter. You can read and find out as soon as the mods approve it.
Hmm... after long consideration, I suspect they will use a very ridiculous spell and it will involve cream puffs. By the way, can I get the pudding recipe?
Author's Response: Ooh, a ridiculous spell and cream puffs, you say? I may have to steal that one. I'll have to ask Fert about the pudding, though. In the meantime, I know you can find several good recipes online. ;) Happy eating!
Haha, I definitely enjoyed your story. Your brand of random, yet relevant funniness is amazing. Amazing! Spectacular! Five stars! Two thumbs up! Extraord-- I'll stop now. >.>
Anywho, like I said, I really enjoyed your fic. I was snorting at Sirius at the end of the first chapter, his exaggerated reactions to the smallest of the squirrel's actions... It was hilarious, I really enjoyed it.
While your story was near-spotless in terms of grammar, spelling and punctuation (thumbs up on that), your characters seemed a little OOC (Out-Of-Character) in places, in my opinion. I didn't feel that Sirius being afraid of squirrels was very OOC, but parts of what he said or did did seem somewhat OOC, as was the case with James. For example, while I can believe Sirius being afraid of squirrels, like I said above, I can't believe Sirius being so afraid that he'd shriek like a girl and ask James to kill it and stuff... The whole Hay is for horses, Sirius. seemed in character to me, and that was an amazing line.
A wizard without a nose could frighten an entire country from even mentioning his name. HAHAHAHAHA! I didn't see this the first time I read it, but looking at it again, I cracked up. Amazing.
Moving on to the second chapter, I feel that if you're having an omniscient POV, and are mentioning Sirius and James by their first names, it's only proper to do so for Snape as well. Don't get me wrong, I by no means like the git, but I feel that it seems more proper to call him by his first name as well, especially in a fic (I don't give a spork as to what anyone calls him outside of a story).
However, talking about OOC'ness again, I personally feel that Snape wouldn't have been so anxious for James to finish his story. Of course, one could always argue that Snape wanted James to finish off the story so that he would untie or do something to Snape sooner, but that's just my point of view. I wonder if Snape would have such dirty teeth, though. Just because his hair is greasy, that does not necessitate the fact Other than that, I found Snape's characterisation vastly good.
The humour in the second chapter was really good as well. I loved Snape correcting James' grammar, and the story and everything. Wonderful. You have a flair for endings-- you leave us waiting to find out what exactly is going to happen. Good work.
On the whole, I think you've got a lovely, hilarious fic on your hands, you just have to watch out for a few tiny snags in characterisation. :D
Author's Response: WOW! A nice long review like yours comes along only once in a veerrryy long time. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your comments and suggestions. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and that it made you laugh. You point out a very true fact: the characters are OOC. Sadly, I fail horribly at making someone else's (namely Jo's) characters humorous while in their own original skin. Thus, I added a warning to the summary so people can remember not to take my OOC characters too seriously. Snape was the biggest worry for me regarding characterization, so I was relieved when you said his characterization went well most of the time. But for Sirius, yes, he really just goes manic in this fic. Much more so than likely for his character. Ah, the joys of imagination.... As to the POV, I didn't even consider how that would affect Snape's name. Thank you for mentioning that. I think I used his last name because the story, while in third person, follows James and Sirius (who call him "Snape" when not "Snivellus"). Also, it felt awkward to write him as "Severus" when he is called simply "Snape" throughout the HP series. I'll discuss this one with my beta. Again, thank you many times over for the detailed review. The story really owes much of its beginning humor to the friend who started this with me. With her creativity and my writing experience and the patient help of my betas, you have this "lovely, hilarious fic" before you.
this was really funny! great job!
Author's Response: Why thank you!
dun dun dun dun! i love the cliffhanger!
Author's Response: Mwahaha! That way you are forced to read on to the next chapter. Cliffhangers make a story that much more exciting.
This is really great. :) Sirius.. afraid of a squirrel.
I was laughing throughout the whole thing. Keep writing, because you're good at it.
Author's Response: Thank you for the compliments! I plan on writing for a long while. :D
Hmm... I agree with Snape about the grammatical errors, but wouldn't it be easier for him to use this knowledge for black-mail purposes? (No pun intended.)
Author's Response: Snape gets his fair share of blackmail opportunity later on. Thanks for your suggestion!
Wonderful! i love the random stories in this fic! very entertaining! i cant wait for the next chapter! r they gonna let snape go or r they gonna kill him? gr8 job and update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Chapter 3 will be up ASAP.
OMG SO FUNNY! ur title totally pulled me in because i'm a HUGE squirrel fan! im off 2 chapter 2!
Author's Response: So the tongue twister worked! I absolutely LOVE squirrels, and I'm glad you do, too.
C'mon. Just let snape tell the world! lol.
Author's Response: Thanks for the suggestion. We'll see about that. :D
I love it! I was giggling the whole time!~ I've never met anybody afraid of SQUIRRELS before!
Author's Response: I've never met someone afraid of squirrels either. It's definitely a strange phobia, especially for someone like Sirius. Thank you for reviewing!
That was so funny!
I have a pretty wild imagination, so the thought of young sirius running around with a squirrel in his pants would have made me laugh out loud (if my dad wasn't asleep... )
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! It's great to know that the story is appreciated.
Rofl! Funniest thing. Ever. You have inspired me. Lol!
Author's Response: Funniest thing EVER? I'm flattered. Thanks for the review!
Oh, God, you're funny! I especially liked James resisting the urge to cuddle the squirrel.
Please keep this going.
Author's Response: I agree! God is certainly funny. Maybe Bailey and I got a little humor from Him? More chapters are to come.
Haha that was AWESOME! I bet it'sSnape that hears them...hmm I bet two peanut Butter cookies and bragging rights that it's Snape! Final offer! lol I look forward to more:D
Author's Response: It might be Snape and it might not. I'm not telling! I'm glad you liked it. :)