Wow... that was very unproductive, wasn't it?
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! Yes, the Marauders are a bit slow at getting things done, but as the urgency to find a solution picks up, they will work harder to save Sirius from complete humiliation.
This chapter was short but funny. I LOVE your characterization of James and Sirius. I probably said that, already, didn't I?
well, it's TRUE!
Usually, i'd copy and paste all my favorite parts, but I'm exhausted. (i.e. Lazy.)
I had no clue this had been updated, so I'm off to add this to my favorites!
Author's Response: Ah, that's okay about the copy and paste. At least I know you liked the chapter. I'm especially honored that you think it's worthy enough to keep reading! Thank you so much.
Hmm... not quite as good as ones past (though still excellent!) I did like Sirius trying to explain untrue blackmail. It made no sense.
Author's Response: :) In my opinion, Sirius was crazy before he ever went to Azkaban. (But that's just me.) Thank you for reviewing!
"You're right. We need a plan," said James, stroking his chin evilly.
“Beverly?” James asked. “The girl who carries around that stuffed squirrel?”
“She couldn’t understand why I hated Larry,” Sirius muttered.
“Bev named the squirrel Larry? I knew a Larry once,” Peter said with disgust. “No wonder it was a bad date.”
This story is SO Awesome. Have you written any other fics? :-)
Your eyes make my heartbeat flutter.
Your gaze turns my legs to butter.
I wish you were mine.
Do you want to dine?
If yes, meet me at midnight by the greenhouse.
I hope to see you soon, my dear little mouse.
Your Secret Admirer
Wooooow. That's not good.
“Hates me? You told me that she was going to fall for me any day now!”
Sirius stopped laughing. “Oh, yeah.” He paused to think. “Yeah, I was lying then.”
“Great friend, you are, Padfoot,” James growled through gritted teeth.
Oblivious, Sirius continued, “Yeah, I think I do a pretty good job.”
You do a great job with this dialogue.
Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww....now I'm all caught up!
Awesome chapter. Please update soon. :-)
Author's Response: Now you know why Snape became a Potions Master and not a world-renowned poet. Thank you for the review!
“PUDDING!" James and Sirius yelled. The two quickly threw Snape aside and dived on poor Fert and his batch of pudding. Seizing the bowl, they dug into it with their fingers, too ravenous from their trip to bother asking for spoons.
Haha. I love that paragraph, because I am extremely fond of pudding.
"The prisoner doesn’t get any food," James said through a mouthful of thick chocolate.
Sirius nodded in agreement. "I second that motion."
"Well, I third it," James added unnecessarily.
I love this story's OOCness. (But not the bad kind. the good kind. :-) )
James exploded and it vaguely reminded Sirius of an experiment he once performed with a toaster and a few blueberry pop tarts. The results were flaming pop tarts of doom.
HAHAHA! DARK LORD'S BLOG REFERENCE!!!!! NICE!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! !!!! !
"Snape? Escaped from what?" Sirius looked completely lost. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Anyways, I can’t take you seriously when there’s pudding on your face."
My best friend is the same way. She cannot STAND it when people get food on theiir faces.
"Oh, no! Oh, no! Very bad! This is VERY bad, James! We have to get him!" With that said, he immediately ran out of the kitchens, frantically waving his arms above his head as if it would actually help. Sirius slipped to the verge of breaking out in tears.
You know, I'm gonna end up pasting this whole story in this little box. That's how good this story is. :-)
"James!" Sirius' voice cracked. "Snape and with the ropes and squirrel! Pudding, James, PUDDING! The squirrel is gonna tell everyone!"
Yeah, Sirius! Jimmy is totally gonna tell everyone! If only he could TALK...
Dude! This chapter was awesome! But what happened to Jimmy?
Author's Response: Yes! Another good chapter then. Thanks for the review. And you've read The Dark Lord's blog, too?! It's AMAZING, isn't it? *plug* If you are reading this response and love humor stories, read The Dark Lord's Blog by Schmerg_the_Impaler.
Hey! me again!
"Where’d you get the rope?” James asked in amazement.
“I have my devices,” said Sirius murderously.
"I have my devices." okay, I"m TOTALLY gonna start saying that.
The predator hungrily eyed his prey. "We kill him."
"Why are you so hooked on killing things?"
"It’s the only way, James!" Sirius shouted, turning on him.
“Or you could just let me go,” Snape suggested from the ground, giving up on wrestling his way out of the tight rope. Both marauders ignored him.
Hilarious. I'm thinking Sirius needs some therapy.
I'm curious. How exactly do you get a scar playing tic tac toe?
So, Sirius had gotten quite… irate… since I still had not sworn defeat and acknowledged his almighty Tic-Tac-Toe greatness. Finally, he raised his quill high into the air and, screaming, 'I WON!’ brought the quill down in a magnificent arc right onto my arm."
Oh. That's how.
ANYwho, What happened to the squirrel? He's still there, isn't he? I shall call him Jimmy. Unless you've already named your fictional squirrel. Which i kinda doubt.
Wooooooow. that was random. ;-)
Author's Response: With Sirius' bad childhood, he probably would have benefited from therapy at least after he escaped Azkaban if not at the time of this story. The squirrel, on the other hand, didn't like all Sirius' shouting and so snuck off through an open window to go back to his family living in the Whomping Willow. Since squirrels speak mainly in squeaks and chattering, he has no name we Muggles can pronounce. But you can call him Jimmy instead.
First of all: This is an awesome idea. Even the idea of Sirius being afraid of squirrels is funny. I just love squirrels, don't you? They're so cute and fluffy!
"JAMES, KILL IT!"
I looooove that line so much. It's hilarious!
"Innocent! HA! Just look at the thing! Don't you see that evil glint in his eye?" Sirius pointed a shaking finger at the furry little creature, a maniacal glint in his own eye. The animal, however, was angelic in the pale moonlight. Its fur glowed silver, and its tiny black eyes glistened, completely devoid of an evil spark. It was adorable enough to make even McGonagall swoon.
That's right, Sirius! It's the cute fluffy squirrel of DEATH! Lol.
A wizard without a nose could frighten an entire country from even mentioning his name.
HAHA! THAT LINE IS GENIUS! Props to you!
Dude! This story is really cool so far! :-)
P.S. Just out of curiosity, how many chapters are you gonna make this?
Author's Response: You have no idea how good it is to hear when someone enjoyed this story! Thank you for reviewing. It's also good to hear from another squirrel fanatic. I knew I wasn't the only crazy one out there... As to length, the plan currently calls for thirteen chapters, but plans have the habit of changing while you're writing.
he he, that was v. funny! bravo
please update soon
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! An update is coming!
Snape certainly has a shining future as a poet!
Did he really think that calling Lilly a "little mouse" would win her over?
Author's Response: Yes, well, now you know why he went with being a potions master instead. :) Thank you for the review!
HAHAHA! i loved this chapter! bravo! this story just keeps getting better and better! and the poem was gr8! Snape's got talent! i hope you update soon! (u got this chapter up rlly quickly)
Author's Response: Thank you, thank you! I like to imagine Snape as a closet-poet... Anyway, an update is soon to come!
Ah, the drama! Now we can watch James wooing Lily and blackmailing Snape. You've done a good job of setting this up to be entertaining.
Author's Response: Thanks! I try my best.
very very good! hmmmm.... i think that they will figure out how to use a video recorder (that could be funny watching the marauders figure out muggle equipment) and they could pay some girl (or promise a date with james!) to pretend she likes snape then they can watch snape being dumped and threaten to show the WHOLE school that tape... thatd be mean but its what the marauders do! good luck with all ur ideas!
Author's Response: Thank you for the suggestion! Poor Snape wouldn't stand a chance.
Yayayayayay! I'm so glad that you updated with another fantastic chapter!!! Hmmm... I think the marauders will bribe snape. Or maybe they will find out what he is scared of and the use it as blackmail! Sirius Blackmail! Please update soon!
Author's Response: Another good guess! (And pretty close, too, I might add.) The Marauders will hatch a plan in the fourth chapter. You can read and find out as soon as the mods approve it.
Hmm... after long consideration, I suspect they will use a very ridiculous spell and it will involve cream puffs. By the way, can I get the pudding recipe?
Author's Response: Ooh, a ridiculous spell and cream puffs, you say? I may have to steal that one. I'll have to ask Fert about the pudding, though. In the meantime, I know you can find several good recipes online. ;) Happy eating!
Haha, I definitely enjoyed your story. Your brand of random, yet relevant funniness is amazing. Amazing! Spectacular! Five stars! Two thumbs up! Extraord-- I'll stop now. >.>
Anywho, like I said, I really enjoyed your fic. I was snorting at Sirius at the end of the first chapter, his exaggerated reactions to the smallest of the squirrel's actions... It was hilarious, I really enjoyed it.
While your story was near-spotless in terms of grammar, spelling and punctuation (thumbs up on that), your characters seemed a little OOC (Out-Of-Character) in places, in my opinion. I didn't feel that Sirius being afraid of squirrels was very OOC, but parts of what he said or did did seem somewhat OOC, as was the case with James. For example, while I can believe Sirius being afraid of squirrels, like I said above, I can't believe Sirius being so afraid that he'd shriek like a girl and ask James to kill it and stuff... The whole Hay is for horses, Sirius. seemed in character to me, and that was an amazing line.
A wizard without a nose could frighten an entire country from even mentioning his name. HAHAHAHAHA! I didn't see this the first time I read it, but looking at it again, I cracked up. Amazing.
Moving on to the second chapter, I feel that if you're having an omniscient POV, and are mentioning Sirius and James by their first names, it's only proper to do so for Snape as well. Don't get me wrong, I by no means like the git, but I feel that it seems more proper to call him by his first name as well, especially in a fic (I don't give a spork as to what anyone calls him outside of a story).
However, talking about OOC'ness again, I personally feel that Snape wouldn't have been so anxious for James to finish his story. Of course, one could always argue that Snape wanted James to finish off the story so that he would untie or do something to Snape sooner, but that's just my point of view. I wonder if Snape would have such dirty teeth, though. Just because his hair is greasy, that does not necessitate the fact Other than that, I found Snape's characterisation vastly good.
The humour in the second chapter was really good as well. I loved Snape correcting James' grammar, and the story and everything. Wonderful. You have a flair for endings-- you leave us waiting to find out what exactly is going to happen. Good work.
On the whole, I think you've got a lovely, hilarious fic on your hands, you just have to watch out for a few tiny snags in characterisation. :D
Author's Response: WOW! A nice long review like yours comes along only once in a veerrryy long time. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your comments and suggestions. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story and that it made you laugh. You point out a very true fact: the characters are OOC. Sadly, I fail horribly at making someone else's (namely Jo's) characters humorous while in their own original skin. Thus, I added a warning to the summary so people can remember not to take my OOC characters too seriously. Snape was the biggest worry for me regarding characterization, so I was relieved when you said his characterization went well most of the time. But for Sirius, yes, he really just goes manic in this fic. Much more so than likely for his character. Ah, the joys of imagination.... As to the POV, I didn't even consider how that would affect Snape's name. Thank you for mentioning that. I think I used his last name because the story, while in third person, follows James and Sirius (who call him "Snape" when not "Snivellus"). Also, it felt awkward to write him as "Severus" when he is called simply "Snape" throughout the HP series. I'll discuss this one with my beta. Again, thank you many times over for the detailed review. The story really owes much of its beginning humor to the friend who started this with me. With her creativity and my writing experience and the patient help of my betas, you have this "lovely, hilarious fic" before you.
this was really funny! great job!
Author's Response: Why thank you!
dun dun dun dun! i love the cliffhanger!
Author's Response: Mwahaha! That way you are forced to read on to the next chapter. Cliffhangers make a story that much more exciting.
This is really great. :) Sirius.. afraid of a squirrel.
I was laughing throughout the whole thing. Keep writing, because you're good at it.
Author's Response: Thank you for the compliments! I plan on writing for a long while. :D
Hmm... I agree with Snape about the grammatical errors, but wouldn't it be easier for him to use this knowledge for black-mail purposes? (No pun intended.)
Author's Response: Snape gets his fair share of blackmail opportunity later on. Thanks for your suggestion!
Wonderful! i love the random stories in this fic! very entertaining! i cant wait for the next chapter! r they gonna let snape go or r they gonna kill him? gr8 job and update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Chapter 3 will be up ASAP.