MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Hokey (Signed) · Date: 10/22/12 17:08 · For: One-shot
I think your idea of the Snape couple dynamics is very believable, and very well written. It makes sense that Severus would come from a home of violence and oppression, but also desperately wants to be seen as a good boy.
I'm not quite seeing the how the artsy stuff ties in. Then again, an incident like the one you describe might affect Severus in a way that he never again explores his artistic sense. I guess I've just seen him more as a silent reader, one who takes in his surroundings, than one who creates.
I wish this had been longer so you could elaborate the ending more, because I really think you're touching on some good stuff here: the reason why Severus would call himself the Half-Blood Prince. I think you're on the right track but there's definitely more to be said about it! I know this was just a short, inspired piece, though :) And I think you've done a really good job! Set my thoughts in motion, at least! Well done :)

Name: TCole (Signed) · Date: 08/10/09 1:24 · For: One-shot
Wow, Minna. The first paragraph of this story, though long as it is, was amazingly wonderful with all the details you gave. I’m not a Snape lover, I don’t really like him too much, but… I like the way you describe how his parents even got together. The fact that Tobias was terrified of Eileen was kind of funny in a way. Just because of the fact that her making pillows move around the room was the reason for why he was afraid of her being a witch. *shrug* That may just be my sense of humour, lol, but I thought it was pretty entertaining. ;)

Severus, who had really only wanted to make some pretty pictures for his darling mother, began to cry, which only made things worse. Eileen could not abide tears

Aw, that just broke my heart. The fact that he was just a toddler, pretty much, and wanted to do something nice for his mother, and she reacted that way. :( That made me sad. It’s awful to see parents act that way toward their children, even if it’s only in a story. That was really awful, I don’t like it when parents act that way. When they act as though the mess was the only thing the child was attempting to create, instead of looking at the photo that they were making for them. *sigh* Okay. Moving on…lol.

And always there was the helpless horror of watching the woman who was the light of his life, his anchor and protector, reduced to shielding herself as best she could as a man much taller and bulkier than she rained blows upon her.

Oh wow. That is just..awful! But the way you wrote this part was brilliant, love. It flowed very nicely, and got the picture of what was done perfectly, and it made you feel the horror that Snape had while having to sit there and watch something like that happen to his own mother, knowing that there was nothing he could to stop his father. *shakes head* Just awful. A child having to sit there and watch that.

he also realized that even if a Muggle bested a witch or wizard, it was with pointless, artless violence.

So true, so true. I love how you put that in there. That Muggles always use pointless, artless violence when fighting with someone. It’s true in real life, and I like that it stays that way even in a story. Instead of making it seem like Muggles fight better than witches or wizards do, or vice versa, or whatnot. Lol. Absolutely brilliant, though. :)

The way you ended the story was brilliant, too. By showing his reason for why he wrote his name as The Half-Blood Prince instead of writing Severus Snape.

It’s amazing what a story can do to change your views of a person even the tiniest bit. I still won’t say that I like Snape, because I don’t, but you showed a side of him that we didn’t get to see, really. The side that shows why he is the way he is as an adult, the side that you can show compassion for because it honestly wasn’t his fault that he turned out that way. It was also great to see a story that’s different, ya know? One that didn’t focus on Snape being the one that was beaten as a child, or one that doesn’t focus on him being the one that was abused in any way, shape, or form. It was nice to see something besides that, that still coincides with him being the way he is.

Bravo, my dear, bravo. :) I really enjoyed reading this. There was honestly…nothing wrong with it at all. XD Great job.


Author's Response: Gawd, the levitating things thing. I don't know why, but that's always how I first imagine characters proving to doubting Muggles that they're wizards. I did it in a drabble once, too. I should find other ways. x.x As for the two horrifying little scenes you quoted, I thought they would show what Snape's childhood was like that he became what he did...later in the review you say he wasn't "abused in any way, shape, or form" but the point kind of was that though he wasn't abused physically (which is kind of a canon fact, I thought...because there were memories of his mom being hit while he looked on but not of his being hit) he was definitely abused emotionally - both by the father he hated and the mother he loved. Even if he didn't realize it. But I'm definitely glad you like it...I enjoy writing stories that try to explain something not fully explained in canon, and I think you paid me the highest compliment possible when you said that I changed your view of Snape, "even the tiniest bit." -hugs- Thanks, Tiff.

Name: A H (Signed) · Date: 07/20/09 7:55 · For: One-shot
My dear goodness! When I looked at the length of this I was disappointed, but you've told more of a story in one thousand words than many can tell in ten thousand. I just absolutely adore the narrator voice used; I don't think I've ever actually read it on MNFF. Oftentimes this PoV obstructs the emotions allowed through the narrative but that is certainly not the case here.

Tobias & Eileen: Absolutely captivating. I was expecting something rather dark and was definitely not disappointed. The way you've painted Eileen as an abusive human being (I would say 'wife' but somehow that doesn't feel right) completely diverges from the commonly accepted theory that it was Tobias who was abuse, and you've written it in a way that's not just believable and fairly original (I can't assume it's never been done before, but I've never read it, nor do I think it's been done as well as it was here) but just plain interesting.

I don't really know how to explain it but you've done a fantastic job of squishing an entire story into such few words. The way the story unfolded was just perfect; including Snape's parent's history before jumping into the time he was around was done very well, and allowed no room for questions (i.e. . . . it felt complete? I don't know how to phrase it :/ ).

I really have nothing but compliments (which is so very rare in reviews :p ). The image of a young Snape finger painting with his mother's supplies is still vivid in my mind, as is the fearful flying pillows. xD

The last passage, in particular, is just so . . . powerful. I've never been very interested in the child Snape (or the man, really) but the way you've written it—that the only part of him that mattered was the part that came from his mother—is just so true to his character.



Author's Response: About the brevity - it seems to just be the way I write. x.x Even when I feel like I'm being long-winded, my stories always end up really short. As for the narrator voice, I think I call it "fairy tale voice" in my head - it's kind of distant. Tobias & Eileen: I think this was one of my random I'm-on-a-walk-and-bored-sick-AND-without-paper-so-now-let's-have-good-ideas ideas. xD I'm glad you felt it was complete...I did hope it felt that way even though it was so short and impromptu. =) As for the only part of him mattering coming from his mother, it just seemed to me that that must have been a central fact in his life as a child. If he had respect for his father and for the Muggle blood that ran through his veins, he would never have been a pureblood supremacist or a Death Eater - in fact, probably the only reason that he, as only a halfblood (like Voldemort) was allowed in Slytherin was because of his total devotion to hatred of Muggle blood. -shrug- Anyway. Thanks for the long and awesome review. =D

Name: siilly_bookworm_28 (Signed) · Date: 04/30/09 9:42 · For: One-shot
W.O.W. For coming up with this and writing it in the same day, this is amazing. Scratch that, for any story, this is amazing! It gives such insight as to why Severus became a Death Eater, and why his father was a muggle anyway. This is terrific! I'm going to look up some more of your fanfiction, because this really is BRILLIANT. Thank you for writing this!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and your enthusiasm. =) I'm glad you liked the story.

You must login (register) to review.