MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Trucker (Signed) · Date: 09/30/09 23:23 · For: The Crumple-Horned Snorkack
How far off would the time problem be if the Lovegoods were keeping English time and not the local time? As a trucker I crossed a lot of time zones and had to keep my watch and logbook set to my home time zone... And don't forget that in a deep forest things are a lot darker than in any clearings.

Author's Response: One of these days I'm going to get around to really fixing the time errors on this story. Thanks for pointing that out; I hadn't thought of it that way.

Name: Trucker (Signed) · Date: 09/30/09 23:19 · For: The Crumple-Horned Snorkack
What a beautiful character study!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! This is my personal favorite of all my stories.

Name: Fantasium (Signed) · Date: 05/10/09 6:56 · For: The Crumple-Horned Snorkack
This story definitely needs a review!

Being Swedish myself, I’m always interested in stories where Luna ventures to my country to look for the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. I’ve read a few, but this is by far the most interesting.

You guide your readers straight into the story without unnecessary introduction, and I really like this. We already know the characters so there’s no need for you to further introduce them. Instead, you establish details that were only hinted at in the books, like Luna being a bit of a caretaker to her eccentric father, and the mutual affection between parent and child.

I see that you’ve underlined the title of the book Xenophilius is reading. Perhaps you have some specific reason for this, but otherwise it’s more common and excepted to italicise book titles.

I love the little insane details you’ve added, like how classical music and burning herbs are supposed to attract the Snorkack – it’s perfect for the Lovegoods and could be taken straight from canon. You also include elements that JKR wrote, which gives the story an even more authentic appearance.

One thing I must correct, though. You say in the story that the time is about five-thirty and the sun is about to set. Two months after the Battle of Hogwarts would make this early July, which is the lightest period in Sweden. The sun might set around 9-10 pm in the southernmost parts then, and not at all if you’re in the far North. :) I live in the middle of the country, and it never really gets dark here during summer nights. The sun sets at maybe 10 pm, and then it’s dusk-like until about 3 am when it rises again.

He would come, attracted by the smells and sounds and he would make everything all right somehow.

This is beautiful, and it gives me an amazing insight to Luna’s character. I’ve always liked her and been amused by her unusual theories, but I’ve never stopped to wonder why she believes in these odd things. Why do people believe? It makes perfect sense that Luna is looking for the extraordinary for some reason, and here you give your readers a very viable one.

It makes me very sad when Luna loses her faith; it sort of turns my world upside-down because I never expected this to happen to her of all people. In a way, Luna is faith and innocence personified. I rage a little inside when I read – because your writing is good, it provokes me – what gives you the right to break this character?! But then you turn the whole thing around and deliver a wonderful resolution:

This thought stopped the flow of tears and gave Luna an oddly pleased feeling. Being grown-up was not necessarily a bad thing, just a hard thing.

She dried her tears on the sleeve of her sweatshirt and smiled to herself. There were good things coming and good things going and she just had to accept that.

This reasoning is just a hundred percent Luna, and it makes me smile. We already know that she’s capable of dealing with tragedies, judging from how she talked to Harry about her mother in Order of the Phoenix. You’ve developed this trait of Luna’s with skill and care and the result is brilliant.

The only piece of criticism I have to offer is that I think this fic deserves a better title. It’s a deep story and I think it would attract more readers (hopefully ones inclined to review!) if the title somehow hinted at this.

Thank you for a very nice read!

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, thank you for such a nice review! I'm afraid that the last time I was in Sweden was when I was about five, so I'd forgotten the sunset inconsistency, something that I'll try to fix! And you know, I had misgivings about the title, too, but nothing better came to me and now I can't really change it. You have just made my day! Thanks so much for taking the time to write such a nice and thoughtful review!

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