MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Eleanor Lupin (Signed) · Date: 07/17/11 17:19 · For: Rose Weasley - Post Hogwarts - Prologue
Well, first off, I salute you for writing on this topic, it must have been difficult, but there really is nobody better to hear a story on topic like this from than somebody who truly understands it, somebody who has lived it. It must have taken courage to post something like this that comes from so close to home, and I commend you for it.

Okay, on to the story. I honestly can't wait to read more! I'm very curious about Cho, and I'm also interested to find out what's going on in Andromeda's head. I see you haven't updated this particular story in a while, but I would really love to read more!

Name: Vindictus Viridian (Signed) · Date: 04/27/09 7:35 · For: Rose Weasley - Post Hogwarts - Prologue
Only nitpick: 'You’re delusional., I told her' has a punctuation problem. It looks like you're off to a good start, and I hope you can keep this going.

Name: DaisyMaeEvans (Signed) · Date: 04/26/09 21:57 · For: Rose Weasley - Post Hogwarts - Prologue
Thank you for your amazing honesty. This is beautifully written. Having been there, done that, got the scars (literally and figuratively) I want to say you CAN make it. You CAN come out the other side. If you'd ever like to talk send me a message on my LJ. I'd be happy to listen.

Name: Passion For Prongs (Signed) · Date: 04/26/09 21:53 · For: Rose Weasley - Post Hogwarts - Prologue
I think that you're so strong for writing this and telling the world (even the cyber one) that you write from experience. Not only is it touching, but this fic is really wll written. I understand how Rose feels, strangely enough, and I guess that means I understand how you feel, too. That's all I'll say other than I hope you stay strong and beat it :)

~Passion For Prongs

Name: fg_weasley (Anonymous) · Date: 04/26/09 16:25 · For: Rose Weasley - Post Hogwarts - Prologue
First, I want to commend you on writing this fic, given your own situation. I would imagine that writing this as you go through it yourself must be hard, but I'm glad you're doing it.

I like the way you've started this, jumping right into it first and then, I imagine, starting from the beginning. I always enjoy stories that sort of backtrack in this was, and I think, especially when there is a message to be delivered such as in this one, this method is a great tool fort he reader. I'm glad you utilized that.

I don't know much about Rose Weasley (well, let's face it, no one really does) and this is a short chapter, but from what I can tell you've got some solid characterization for her. With subtle adds like desperation leaking into my pathetic voice and With a silent apology to my best - and only - friend, I sucked in a breath, the reader knows how she feels about herself despite the fact that she tries to hide it. You showed the effects of the eating disorder as well as her mindset -- that she knows its wrong yet, on some level, doesn't want to acknowledge that or stop -- really well, and imagine that this is because you've been exactly where she is now. Still, that you are able to translate that so well into words is great. This is a rather delicate situation to take on and make believable and emotional, but you've done a wonderful job with it. The emotion is raw and tangible, something not every writer can achieve. I think this was a really nice touch to add that could very easily have been overlooked, but you didn't:

Before, when I was hideously overweight, I had a fairly loud voice. Losing thirty pounds using the methods that I had made my voice raspy and quiet.

The mention of 'hideously overweight' is another great piece of insight into Rose's psych, and I really like the touch of her voice change -- that was something that I hadn't realized could happen, but as soon as I read that it made total sense.

I do wonder, though, about the three girls you have chosen for your story. They're all from different time periods, and never at the same time at Hogwarts. How are you going to weave their stories together? Are they going to be related at all, or not? How are you going to set-up the chapters -- are you going to finish out Rose and then move to Cho and Andromeda, or are they going to be woven throughout the fic? Oh, and why did you start with Rose and not Andromeda (which is what I would have done only for chronological reasons)? I'm sure you have a good reason for this, I was just curious. I know that's a lot of questions, but they all immediately sprung to my mind when I read the summary. Given the differences in time and whatnot, the way you structure the story could potentially make it a confusing read. Its just something to think about.


Replying, “Diet and exercise”, as an explanation for how I lost twenty pounds in a little less than a month rarely ever worked as well as I would have liked it to.

The comma needs to be inside the quotation mark.

“You’re delusional., I told her, desperation leaking into my pathetic voice.

There's a period after delusional when there shouldn't be, and you need to close the quote.

All in all, I think this was a great start, and I'm definitely curious to read more. Good luck with this fic and with your own recovery!

Name: Karaley Dargen (Signed) · Date: 04/26/09 15:47 · For: Rose Weasley - Post Hogwarts - Prologue
I wanted to tell you that your story is really well written. I read your WWC thread and with that and the way you wrote that first chapter, I feel that I really get to... feel with Rose's character and her struggles... Are you going to show the way to the ED with one of your other characters?

My thoughts really are with you right now. I hope so much that you'll manage to get out of there. i know that this probably sounds ridiculous coming from a complete stranger, but if you ever need any help, or anything, you can always PM or email me via the forums.

Name: rayasunshine (Signed) · Date: 04/26/09 10:13 · For: Rose Weasley - Post Hogwarts - Prologue
This is a brilliant idea. I too, suffer from an eating disorder, and I know exactly what it feels like. You've written it very well, especially since it must be hard to write considering your own personal history.
I'm looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response: THank you! I wish you the best of luck with your eating disorder. xxAlex

Name: inspirations (Signed) · Date: 04/25/09 13:41 · For: Rose Weasley - Post Hogwarts - Prologue
Oh, my eyes are actually watering. The end of that chapter was sad. =(

Well, this was great, Alex. I don’t know much about eating disorders, but I think you portrayed this very realistically. Not only could I relate with both Rose and Abigal’s points of views, but I learnt about the condition, too, as you slipped in lots of descriptions of it - in Abigal’s speech especially.

I can’t wait to read more actually. As you have felt the effects of this first-hand, I’m sure this will turn out as a fantastic story that I will remember. The prologue certainly gives that impression. Though, I wonder whether we’re going to see anymore of Rose? It would be interesting to see how her situation turns out, but I got the impression you were writing just one chapter for each girl from your WWC thread… Though I did read it a few months back, your plans. But it was one of the ones I wanted to read immediately, because it is obviously an important topic.

My only concrit for this chapter would be that I would’ve loved a bit more. I like that you don’t tell us directly how she got to this stage; that insinuates that anybody could get it in theory. They can, right? But it would’ve been good to see more of the development of the condition, maybe, or… something… Disregard this if there are more chapters coming about Rose.

And one tiny nit-pick:

I’d cry and tell her that my boyfriend had broken with me and was too depressed to eat - ‘broken up with me’ and ‘I was too depressed’?

Anyway, that’s all. Good luck with your story, and good luck with your bulimia and beating it. xx

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words. This is the sweetest review. I am deviating from my orginal plans. There will be more chapters about Rose in the future. Really, thank you so much. You are so sweet. xxAlex

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 04/25/09 10:35 · For: Rose Weasley - Post Hogwarts - Prologue
I'm so pleased you've written this, Alex. I especially love the three characters you've chosen to represent the three eating disorders and I can't wait to read the rest. Obviously, this is an emotive issue for you and your honesty shines through the words. I would have perhaps liked more about Rose's background and why she feels like this - although your hint that Hermione is more concerned with Hugo was a very telling remark. Perhaps I'm looking for a big reason when all too often there isn't one - just a need for some sort of control (am I right?). On a personal level, I'm a mother with two daughters and this is one area I'm really anxious to get right. Thank you for writing this, but what I really hope is that it helps you. Carole xxx

Author's Response: Thank you so much Carole! Rose will be my epilouge, where I explain further her situation. If you have any questions about eating disorders, please feel free to ask. I can give early signs to watch out for with your daughters -- at least with anorexia and bulimia. Again thank you so much for your kind words and support. You don't know how much that means to me. :) xx Alex

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