Reviewer: OliveOil_Med
Date: 05/17/09 19:41
Chapter: Chapter 1

Oh, I hope you will continue to write! This is one of the challenge stories I was really looking forward to seeing. I certainly hope you're not going to call it quits just because the challenge is over!

Lucius Malfoy makes an excellent villain for so many reasons, but you're taking this concept in a whole new direction: making him an unintentional villain. He really is just trying to do what he can to make sure he can provide for his family. But all the same, you can really make him appear the devil in this story.

Not to mention this is a subject that I can just tell you are extremely passionate about. And passion always makes for the best stories!

Please, don't deny the world the opportunity to have this wonderful tale!

Reviewer: Vindictus Viridian
Date: 04/27/09 7:54
Chapter: Chapter 1

Interesting. I'm curious to see the next chapters.

You have a couple of odd turns of phrase in here: "his legs soaking in warm water, his wife and son next to him" gave me a moment's pause, as did "Shacklebolt remained unnerved." Our Kingsley is never unnerved but does seem to be rather nerveless -- a pair of words that look like they ought to mean the same thing but don't.

Author's Response: It was meant to be nerveless... *is stupid* The next few chapters are coming soon... ish, I hope.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Passion For Prongs
Date: 04/23/09 17:47
Chapter: Chapter 1

I love how you made 666 the Malfoy's vault number. Very clever!!!

I can't wait for the next chapter. I'm a vegetarian, so the whole animal rights thing caught my eye :)

~Passion For Prongs

Author's Response: I needed a vault number for the Malfoys, and what better than the Devil's number himself?

I'm a vegetarian too, and this is an issue really close to my heart, so I hope to complete it soon!

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 04/21/09 6:39
Chapter: Chapter 1

YAY! BB, this good. Malfoy getting his come-uppance (well at least for a short while). I'm so pleased that Kingsley has found some way to get to him. The story is intriguing and the tension you've built up is excellent. Vault 666, eh? Surely not the Devil's own number?

Okay, I do like the story but I have a weeny nit pick. Where Lucius says 'Slander' - that should be 'Libel'. Slander is word of mouth and libel is written down lies. As they've written down their statements I think you need to change it. (I could be wrong though as it's not exactly made it to the prophet.) I'm interested to see where you're going with this and hope you get the next chapter up soon.
Nice job. Carole xxx

Author's Response: Short-while, and then what happens? I love bad things happening to characters I don't like too much... hehe.

As I said in an Author's Response to the above review, I needed a vault number for the Malfoys, and what better number than the Devil's?

I had no idea there was a difference between slander and libel... But I like the sound of slander better, so I'll keep it for the time being. :D

Thanks for the lovely review!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Wizard Comics, the Green Knight aids those in need under the cloak...
Somebody Like You by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
After tea leaves predict romance for Snape, he makes a sardonic wish on...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst.
CATEGORIES