Oh, I hope you will continue to write! This is one of the challenge stories I was really looking forward to seeing. I certainly hope you're not going to call it quits just because the challenge is over!
Lucius Malfoy makes an excellent villain for so many reasons, but you're taking this concept in a whole new direction: making him an unintentional villain. He really is just trying to do what he can to make sure he can provide for his family. But all the same, you can really make him appear the devil in this story.
Not to mention this is a subject that I can just tell you are extremely passionate about. And passion always makes for the best stories!
Please, don't deny the world the opportunity to have this wonderful tale!
Interesting. I'm curious to see the next chapters.
You have a couple of odd turns of phrase in here: "his legs soaking in warm water, his wife and son next to him" gave me a moment's pause, as did "Shacklebolt remained unnerved." Our Kingsley is never unnerved but does seem to be rather nerveless -- a pair of words that look like they ought to mean the same thing but don't.
Author's Response: It was meant to be nerveless... *is stupid* The next few chapters are coming soon... ish, I hope.
Thanks for the review!
I love how you made 666 the Malfoy's vault number. Very clever!!!
I can't wait for the next chapter. I'm a vegetarian, so the whole animal rights thing caught my eye :)
~Passion For Prongs
Author's Response: I needed a vault number for the Malfoys, and what better than the Devil's number himself?
I'm a vegetarian too, and this is an issue really close to my heart, so I hope to complete it soon!
Thanks for the review!
YAY! BB, this good. Malfoy getting his come-uppance (well at least for a short while). I'm so pleased that Kingsley has found some way to get to him. The story is intriguing and the tension you've built up is excellent. Vault 666, eh? Surely not the Devil's own number?
Okay, I do like the story but I have a weeny nit pick. Where Lucius says 'Slander' - that should be 'Libel'. Slander is word of mouth and libel is written down lies. As they've written down their statements I think you need to change it. (I could be wrong though as it's not exactly made it to the prophet.) I'm interested to see where you're going with this and hope you get the next chapter up soon.
Nice job. Carole xxx
Author's Response: Short-while, and then what happens? I love bad things happening to characters I don't like too much... hehe.
As I said in an Author's Response to the above review, I needed a vault number for the Malfoys, and what better number than the Devil's?
I had no idea there was a difference between slander and libel... But I like the sound of slander better, so I'll keep it for the time being. :D
Thanks for the lovely review!