i am in love with this story. this was such a cute chapter. i do hope you update soon...please!!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I promise I'll update as soon as I can. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)
Oi, Mercy! You have impeccable timing, my dear. All of my all-time favourite fics always seem to get updated right about the time that I’m looking for something to read and review, which usually seems to save me from reading something new and potentially not quite as entertaining.
I’ve left reviews before, but I’ve decided that, since I love this story – and James Potter – so much, I’m going to leave you a proper review for a change, so here goes. I’m going to address certain things that I noticed while reading (I re-read the whole thing first), and then I’ll sum up characters and overall events.
He was on the other side of the pitch, blue eyes looking directly at her, or more like glaring.
This is from the Prologue. I know it’s a nit-pick and all, but I’m very curious as to how James could have blue eyes. Ginny has brown eyes, which is a dominant trait (which carries a 75% chance of having it), and Harry has green (a recessive genome –there is only a 25% chance of getting it). It’s been established in canon that Albus is the only one with green eyes, so that would make it more than probable that both James and Lily have brown eyes, as well, considering the fact that Harry also carries a recessed brown eye genome that he inherited from his father (bringing the chances of another eye colour than brown down from 25% to 6.25%). That being said, Ginny does carry the blue eye genome, which is yet another recessive genome, because Ron had blue eyes, so he had to get it from somewhere. I was just wondering if this was a conscious decision to give him blue eyes, despite his genetic predisposition for brown or it just wasn’t something you particularly cared to addle your brain with (trust me, my head is spinning with genomes right now, lol).
I love the ‘my dad can beat up your dad’ aspect between Libby and James. It was definitely worth a chuckle, and it definitely cements James’s role in this story as a (not so) villain type. He’s hot, he’s rich, he’s famous, he goes through Snitch bunnies (a Quidditch version of puck bunnies or B-bunnies, I suppose) like tissues, and he’s a bit of a jerk.
Libby shifted in her chair and beamed. “One could say that, but I’d like to think that they’re still a lot more ahead for me.”
This is probably supposed to be ‘there’s’.
The small details that you put in the story, such as Felix’s hair changing colours when he’s embarrassed is fantastic. It takes that wonderful gift of being a Metamorphmagus and shows the everyday applications and foibles of having this particular ability.
The song that Cecelia sang in the pub was lovely, by the way. I know it was written in honour of Remus and Tonks, but it seemed to me that it also carried foreshadowing of something more between James and Libby, such as:
“They call you dangerous,”
“Beneath the monster is a kind-hearted man
And among the girls, you’re in high demand
But they don’t understand you
As I do.”
Then again, I may be reading way too much into it, but those lines fit Libby’s relationship with James (if one could even call it that) almost to a tee. ‘Calling him dangerous’ is like her friends telling her not to perpetuate her feud with him, and the rest, it seems like it matches Chapter 5 when she goes to see him and he seems like a whole different person when they call a truce. The part about the girls is, er, pretty obvious, and Libby does, in a way, understand James better than most people, because as much as they’d hate to admit it, they’re a lot alike in many respects. They’re both arrogant, not willing to back down once their hackles have been raised, and neither likes to lose at anything, let alone just Quidditch.
All right, now that that’s done, I’d like to address the characters. First off, Libby is a great OC. She’s sexy, spunky, competitive, and arrogant, but those are tempered by the kinder aspects of her nature, such as loyalty to her friends and her ridiculous habit of blushing when she’s around Felix. The story is so much more compelling because she’s not perfect, she’s not a ‘victim’ of James’s public barbs, and I have a feeling of ‘well, you get what you give’ when things between her and James flare up.
The borderline alcohol abuse is actually quite realistic to me, because how many 20 year old celebrities fall into the substance abuse track? While there are far worse pitfalls to which she has not succumbed, it adds a dimension of truth and realism to her character.
Felix is absolutely adorable. He likes Libby, which is so obvious, but he is, in the true fashion of a boy that’s fancied a girl for that long, a complete coward about showing it or acting on it. He has this magnetism that sort of sucks me in, making me want him to end up with Libby, even though I really want her with James deep down. I can’t help but wonder which one he takes after more: Remus or Tonks. Either way, he makes me smile. :D
I really like the fact that Libby’s friend/cousins aren’t completely bowled over about her being famous. They even take the mickey out of her for it at times, which is the mark of someone who’s known you since you were barely old enough to stand up straight.
Hamish is a very interesting character. He’s a caring father, but he’s also a Quidditch star and Captain at the same time. The scene when he and Libby practise early in the morning is such a great barometer of their relationship. He’s still concerned about her being a good player, but he doesn’t take the fun out of it, as parents with athletically gifted children tend to do. Also, his reaction to Libby’s injury, even though it was by no mean the first, really brings out the protective side of him. That and the Daniel incident… lol.
I love the run-in with Albus. He is, of course, my favourite character of all, even if I’m not an Epilogue fan. That’s why I’m so glad you portrayed him the way you did. He isn’t some flash and dash fellow like James, and he’s not what one would deem attractive (and most forget that Harry wasn’t exactly Brad Pitt, either). He’s just a nice guy that cares about his family and friends. Very well done.
And then there’s the rather awkward meeting of the two at the end of Chapter 5. I knew this all had to come to a head, and you definitely delivered. I really loved the awkward tension between them, especially when they made contact. And then when he was checking her out, which I believe was unintentional on his part, I was torn between laughing at Libby’s outrage and wanting James to shag her brains out until they made nice. The dynamic between the two of them is just so electric, I can’t help but want her with James, no matter how sweet and nice Felix is. He just can’t hold a candle to that appeal that comes with the messy black hair… buuuuuut, I digress.
Anyway, fabulous story so far, and shame on people for not reading and reviewing it more. I think 4 of the reviews for this were already mine (fail, MNFF readers!), and I really hope that you finish this story, at least to put me out of my misery, because I really, really want to know who Libby ends up with – if anyone at all.
Cheers and happy writing, and I hope this finds you in good spirits!
Author's Response: Thank you so incredibly much! I believe this is one of the nicest reviews anyone's ever left me, and I'm so thankful that you took the time to write it. Lol, you've found stuff in this story that I didn't even realize when I wrote it. Hmmm... where to begin.... - For James' eye color, I can't remember how I came up with that, but it must have been because I wanted that gene to crop up again (even though ignoring the genetics is especially embarrassing coming from a pre-med student). - You definitely nailed it about James not entirely being a "villain"; he is a jerk, but that's not his only side and I didn't want him to become a full-blown antagonist (that's for my other works, haha). - For Felix's hair, I think I had that for Teddy in a previous fic and the trait just stuck with me; I just imagine it being slightly difficult to control one's hair or other features while being in an emotional situation... particularly when you're in the presence of someone you like. - The song... I really, really hadn't thought of that before, but that idea's brilliant! I just wrote it as it came to my mind, and I'm not all that poetic either.... But you are right about them being very much alike, which is definitely making the decision difficult. - Once again, you've nailed my characters, all of them. Haha, oh, Hamish... I still remember writing him as a teenager... such a jock, but he likes being a daddy very much. - As for Chapter 5, I love that bit, too, especially since they've been fighting for so long... as for them sleeping together... teehee. xD Again, thank you so very much for this review. It really made my morning and I'm so happy that you've been enjoying this story so much. :) - Mercy
I'm glad Libby and James called a truce. Now maybe they can finally get along. I wouldn't be surprised if they fell for each other despite the age difference. I enjoyed the chapter and am looking forward to the next one. Nicely done.
Author's Response: Thanks, Crystal! Yes, hopefully this truce will allow them to put some things behind them and perhaps something else could happen to. ;) Thanks again for the review! :)
Oh hunny post gosh goodnessly
Author's Response: Thank you, meldina! I'll be sure to post more soon. :)