Dear BB,Hope this sounds coherent to you because this is the first time I'm reviewing a poem.The poem's poignant and the sharp pain that Dumbledore feels is quite evident. Your words are very transparent.Also, Arianna death and his shame, guilt and of course the crushing grief is very beautifully described."your words, your loving letters
so very convincing yet false"
Is this about the "For The Greater Good" idea. If it is, then I think the words say it all.All in all, a very sad, yet beautiful composition.LoveWilfen
I like the way you've set this out. You've very clearly captured the torment and distraction going on in his (Dumbledore?) mind.
Well written and evocative.
Author's Response: I was SURE I'd replied to this... *is going mental* Any way, yes, I meant it to be Dumbledore, and I'm glad you liked it so much.
Hey BB, it's Azhure.
Wow, this poem is amazing. So powerful, and I like how you only add the proper punctuation after he comes to his senses. I can't really find any major problems in this, which is great! The poem flows perfectly and you definitely get your point across -- you don't babble like I do in poems. Very nice.
But, if you do want some critique, the second last line doesn't flow as well as it should. I think it's a bit short, but that's only a minor problem. :)
Author's Response: I'm sitting here beaming... Thanks for the praise! It really does mean a lot.
I know about the second last line, I think someone on the boards told me that too... I have no idea what to do with it, though.
Thanks for the reivew!