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Reviews For Be Not Proud

Name: minervassister (Signed) · Date: 04/30/09 10:17 · For: Chapter 1
It's getting really scary now!! Poor Nicole! Poor Sev!
This is a really good story. Thanks for keeping the chapters coming in regularly.

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, things do hotten up for the next couple of chapters. Nicole has bitten off more than she can chew.

Name: Sariana (Signed) · Date: 04/30/09 0:26 · For: Chapter 6
So, they are looking for the Elder Wand at the DoM? Would they even know what to look for?

How would the Mirror be used to torture students? Because they wouldn't understand what they were seeing?

I'm a bit confused about the timing. If it is Hallowe'en, graduation would be more than 6 months away. Their school year last until the end of June (well, unless that has changed this year, too).

Yay to more Luna.

I've run out of chapters to read. Please update.

Author's Response: Hey, Thank you for so many lovely reviews! In regards to POV, I understand why it can be a little confusing but I hope it becomes obvious within a couple of lines who is speaking. Usually I alternate between the two, though occaisonally I'll begin a new chapter from the same POV as the one that left off. Luna is going to be in a lot because I love Luna very much. Ginny is a difficult character to write because I don't think JKR gave us much to work with. I kept in mind that she was really missing Harry, really angry with the regime at Hogwarts, and therefore less likely to trust someone on face value. I know she may seem OOC but the circumstances mean she has to be more cynical toward Nicole. Please carry on with the concrit - it is really useful!

Name: Sariana (Signed) · Date: 04/30/09 0:12 · For: Chapter 5
I hope you plan to have more Luna in your story. She is a fascinating character. Ginny seems a bit mean in your story. But then again, it is from Nicole's perspective.

I don't think Severus was particlary unfair to Nicole. She was probably expecting a lot worse.

Name: Sariana (Signed) · Date: 04/29/09 23:58 · For: Chapter 4
I forgot to mention when I reviewed the previous chapter: Amycus's threat that he would punish Ginny & Neville reminded me of what I've heard about military training. If one trainee can't cut it, everyone else is punished (with push-ups or whatever). It is a powerful way to "break" someone.

Name: Sariana (Signed) · Date: 04/29/09 23:46 · For: Chapter 3
Wouldn't Severus use a Memory Charm on Ginny and Neville, to make them think they had served the detention he described to Amycus? Otherwise they might spill the beans and put Severus in danger...

It's a good thing Severus has been practicing being sarcastic all those years. It is second nature to him to insult students.

Name: Sariana (Signed) · Date: 04/29/09 23:34 · For: Chapter 2
Ah, my poor Severus.

Again, the shift in narrator is confusing, especially since the order is reversed in this chapter. I began reading thinking the speaker was Nicole.

Please don't take my comments to mean that I don't like your story; I do. But then, I love anything with Severus in it. Sigh.

Name: Sariana (Signed) · Date: 04/29/09 23:22 · For: Chapter 1
Your premise is intriguing. I usually prefer the third-person point of view. Since you are using the first person for two different characters, is there any way you can change the font for one of them? I was briefly confused as to why Nicole would be talking to DD's portrait.

I look forward to reading more of the story.

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 04/21/09 21:10 · For: Chapter 5
I like the way he deals wtih Narcissa, I like the way you have his actions mirror the portraits. I think his diction slips a little here and there, but that may only be because I am expecting a more formal Snape.

Author's Response: Thank you for keeping with the story! Snape's formality is certainly the most difficult part of writing this. It doesn't help that I'm a very informal lass and when I get excited about a plot, my hands run away with me and I forget about dull details like 'staying in character'.

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 04/21/09 19:13 · For: Chapter 4
I've been catching the awkward sentence here and there, but I have been too interested in the story to stop and say anything about them. I think having McGonagall take a Slytherin under her wing is brilliant.

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 04/21/09 18:57 · For: Chapter 3
This girl is extremely brave, extremely principled, and really really needs to know when to apply it...

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 04/20/09 20:37 · For: Chapter 2
Well, you have to say she leads with her chin. Why wasn't she a Gryff???

Author's Response: You find out in a bit ;-)

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 04/19/09 19:43 · For: Chapter 1
Nice ending to the chapter...

Why is your OC so prone to speaking her mind? She's brave enough to be a Gryffindor if she is doing that in Slytherin....

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 04/19/09 15:13 · For: Chapter 1
Nice ending to the chapter...

Why is your OC so prone to speaking her mind? She's brave enough to be a Gryffindor if she is doing that in Slytherin....

Author's Response: Hehe. She is a Gryffindor, in many respects, and this will become apparent. She was more a Slytherin at the age of eleven, though, until something happened to change her attitude. Whilst Harry chose Gryffindor, Nicole chose Slytherin.

Name: minervassister (Signed) · Date: 04/15/09 23:23 · For: Chapter 1
Great story, good to hear it from Sev's point of view.
Just being picky, but would Severus as a very formal and articulate English wizard have used the expression "hang tough"?
It's not a common expression in the UK.
Looking forward to hearing more of the story.

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it. 'Hang tough' has become quite a well-known phrase in the UK - especially for those that watch the Gladiators. You're right about it being a little too informal for Snape, though - he is a very challenging character to keep in IC, so thanks for the comment!

Name: GirsLoveSlave (Signed) · Date: 04/12/09 22:22 · For: Chapter 4
love the story. cant wait to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you. Should be more soon!

Name: lostinside1 (Signed) · Date: 04/11/09 20:05 · For: Chapter 4

Are you reposting this story on this site? I could swear I've read it before because I remember this chapter really well since I found it hilarious last time I read it.

Author's Response: Yes, I had the story up a year ago and took it down because I didn't think I would complete it. I'm glad you've been able to pick it back up.

Name: Sana1987 (Signed) · Date: 04/10/09 2:23 · For: Chapter 3
Hey, I really like it! This is Slytherin life exactly as I imagined it. I'm really looking forward to, what, another eight chapters? I hope they'll come out soon.

Author's Response: I'm really glad you're enjoying it. I imagined it this way too but I hope to show that not all Slytherins are mini-Death Eaters. There's 11 and a half chapters written and so I'm hoping to update regularly.

Name: Saif (Signed) · Date: 04/08/09 7:25 · For: Chapter 3
keep them coming!

Author's Response: Next one should be up soon - thanks for the support!

Name: Saif (Signed) · Date: 04/03/09 16:05 · For: Chapter 2
Memories flooding back!

Name: Saif (Signed) · Date: 03/31/09 13:36 · For: Chapter 1
Yay! I'm so glad you decided to repost this! I remember bits and pieces of the next few chapters and can't wait to read them again once they're put up!

Author's Response: Yay - I'm really glad I have a returnee reader already! I'm sorry for taking it down, but at the time I was suffering from major writer's block! Shouldn't be long before some fresh chapters come your way ...

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