I can imagine people got tired of hearing that song. I'm glad you explained the Harley Queens. Now that I look back I should've figured it out. What an appropriate prank.
It was brilliant to see a fun, more Marauder-ish side of Remus, and even better seeing Sirius get a taste of his own medicine!
Author's Response: Thank you. This was a bit of a jokey fic for a challenge but it was fun to write. ~Carole~
Hahaha, cute :)
Author's Response: Not bad. I like Remus a lot - hee hee. ~Carole~
GO Moony!!! Go Harley Queens. That was epicly good. I lvoe that song and now it's jsut made all theat much better. heheehehe this was a realyl ncie story. I love how in all your stories Remus always has nice shirts it makes for such a fun fact. I enjoyed reading this.
Author's Response: Ha ha! Yeah, I wanted Remus to have a young trendy mum - contrast with Walburga Black. ~Carole~
I really love this story. It's so funny. It's a good idea too.
Author's Response: Thank you. It was a lot of fun to write.
“Marauders ‘till we die,” murmured Remus in reply. *rhyme*
'declaimed'.... it should be 'declared' or 'proclimed', love. ;)
just that lil' nitpick.
great job, Carolewithane, my GOS
Author's Response: Hmmm, actually 'declaimed' is a perfectly valid word and in the context, (James is declaring rather melodramatically that he'll never take the hat off) I think it works well. But then I'm a girl who believes context is everything (private joke). Oh, and I liked my Remus rhyming bit, it seemed to suit the flow because he's reciting a mantra. Glad you liked the story, Tine and thanks for reviewing. Carole xx
Wow! Wow! Er... Did I mention, Wow!?
That was brilliant Carole!
I suppose Sirius will never learn not to mess around with Remus, will he? Plus, Remus is cuter and can get the girls to help him with stuff. Just kidding. Well, not really.
Will you ever pick one? Lol. Keep up the great work girl. I love your writing style!
Author's Response: EEEP! I never responded. Hmmm, no I'm not sure I will ever pick one, but Remus could well be edging it at the moment. Thanks for the review, Allieatrix.
Hey Carole! I loved the step by step process in which the prank was planned. But, like BB said, I was a little disappointed with the prank. It could have been more humiliating morally. Yet I love and enjoy reading the Marauders and I thought this story was really lovely. I shall not delve into nitpicks. I look forward to reading your other fics.
Author's Response: Mmm, I take yours and BB's point about the prank. The trouble was it was turning into chaptered fic length. Also, I know Sirius 'disappointed a lady' but he wasn't that awful was he? And I doubt he'll sing 'Hot Legs' for a while. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, though and thank you very much for reviewing. Carole xxx
That was such fun! What a great set-up, going all the way back to Remus and Carla getting stung one too many times by Sirius and then plotting to get him back. I thought the song was funny but then at the end when it turned his legs all hot, that was brilliant! I thought you did a fantastic job with all the characters - they all seemed very natural, and their dialogue was fantastic. And I was sort of cheering for Remus and Sarah, are they going to get together?? Wonderful job, good luck in the challenge! ~GIna :)
Author's Response: Thanks, Gina. I'm glad you enjoyed the story but am more pleased you liked my characterisation. I do love the Marauders. I want to write about that gang of girls again so Sarah may get her man ... they're well on the way I think. Your entry, by the way, was wonderful and a worthy winner. Carole xxx
That was amazing! I didn't think I would be able to read through the entire thing, seeing as it is nearly 6000 words, but I was entertained throughout the story. I loved the characterization of the Harley-Queens, Sirius and definitely Remus. I enjoyed how each of the Queens helped somehow in the prank...
Moving on to the nitpicks, there were a lot of places where you didn't leave spaces in between two or more words, like here: "Catherinevery" It's mostly where you used italics, like here: "sucha"
Another, bigger nitpick- while I enjoyed the planning stages of the prank a lot, I felt that the end could have been much better. It's just that we're anticipating so much, and in the end it's not up to the expectations. I wanted Sirius to be utterly humiliated, with people around him commenting and stuff. What he got was just physical pain, nothing very embarassing. I would have wanted something that, perhaps, made him sing that "stupid" song at the staff table, or SOMETHING hilarious.
But despite that, I greatly enjoyed this story... And is there anyway I can read the deleted scene of Remus kissing Sarah? I mean, he DID kiss Sarah in one of the versions of this story?
Author's Response: Thanks BB, I shall fix the Italics bit straight away! I know what you mean about the prank - I'm just rubbish at writing them. This was such a hard challenge for me! Oh, I still have the snogging scene somewhere... let me look.