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This is hillarious! Ill never see snape in the same way again either
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HAHA really funny how have you only got 11 !!!! reviews . snapes gotta girlfriend hehe
Author's Response: G'day LOL, it's a mystery about the reviews but I'm glad you liked it ...xXxLove SandyxXx...
*laughing hard & can't think of a good review*
Author's Response: G'day The fact that you took the time to review is enough. Hope you like the sequel, 'Don't Want To Know' just as much ...xXxLove SandyxXx...
Spankalishes... tee hee! :)
wow! i kinda forgot that i read this so i read it again and loved it... again! its just so funny and it brings out the james in harry. gr8 job!
Author's Response: G'day Good to know it's still funny the second time round. Thanks for the review and I'll let you know that there is a sequal coming ones the mods approve it. It's called 'Don't Want To Know'. ...xXxLove SandyxXx...
Haha, what a funny story :D
As much as I'd rather not imagine Snape nicknaming his hot girlfriend (what is she doing with him I ask?) Sexy Ass or Spankalishes, it was hilarious. Harry in his panicked state was great :D I don't think Snape was that out of character... just surprising underneath... :P
He had a feeling Snape would go for the girl that could handle a wand. Both meanings of the word apparantly.
Genius, pure and utter genius. :D
Author's Response: G'day Do you really want to know what she does to him? You might regret it. LOL, my beta's asking me to write a continue one-shot. Thanks for saying Snape's not to out of character and thank you for noticing I'm a genuis! LOL. Everone seems to really like that line. (Wonder why) ; ) ...xXxLove SandyxXx...
Snape? Social life? These words don't connect together.
Funny story :D
Author's Response: G'day They are now! Thanks for the review. ...xXxLove SandyxXx...
Some nitpicks specific to portions of the fic, before going on to my more general thoughts.
He had Polyjuiced himself into Snape and was heading to the Professors’ private quarters. Despite the fact that these days 'using Wikipedia' has become 'Wikipedia'd' and 'using MySpace' has become 'MySpaced', and Google is alternatively used as a noun or a verb, 'using the Polyjuice potion' can NOT become 'Polyjuiced'. Polyjuice is a noun, and NOT a verb. I would suggest reconstructing this sentence as 'He had used Polyjuice potion to become a likeness of the despicable potions master, and he was heading to the aforementioned professor's quarters.'
As Harry entered the surprisingly cozy three-roomed flat, he ran through his list of things to do. I'm sorry, but this is part of the dungeons, in the castle. It's a place where Snape stays while he's in the castle, during the school year-- the rest of the year, he stays at Spinners' End. There is no way it could be a three-roomed flat...
I never expected a British man say derivative of spank and delicious. This should be 'I never expected a British man to say a derivative of spank and delicious.
He would rather call her God than sexy ass but he wasn’t sure if Snape would admit if he missed her or not. Here, Sexy Ass should be capitalized, because you are using it as a name.
He had a feeling Snape would go for the girl that could handle a wand. Both meanings of the word apparantly. It's spelt 'apparently', and not 'apparantly'. But nitpicks aside, this is my absolute favourite line in the entire fic. It, in my opinion, embodies everything the fic is about-- the humour, the innuendo, the frivolity.
Quickly, he transfigured his long, black robes back into school robes, just as a dark figure walked around the corner and up to Harry. Harry isn't good enough at magic to transfigure one type of robes into another...
All he could think was, he nicknamed his girlfriend Sexy Ass, and his affectionate to her. here, 'his' should be 'he's', or 'he is'.
“Goodnight, Potter, now hurry up, I have a detention to dish out before retiring for the night.” I very much doubt if Severus Snape really would wish Harry back a good night. It would be much more IC for him to snarl something, say he has no time for Harry because he has a detention to oversee, and then leave. I also wouldn't use the words 'dish out' here-- dish out means to give, and Snape isn't GIVING anyone a detention. He's already given someone a detention, he's just going to OVERSEE the detention. :)
I think that's all the specific nitpicks I have, moving on to my general thoughts.
First off, I really enjoyed the humour-- especially the innuendoes-- in this fic.
However, I must say that there is no way that Severus Snape would have called his girlfriend, if he had one, Sexy Ass, or Spankalishes, or anything other than her name, really, Maybe a 'dear', if he was feeling REALLY loving (which I can't imagine, but STILL). Definitely NOT the names you've mentioned.
Moreover, if Snape was to have a woman in his room, that too frequently, wouldn't some of the professors have found out? What's more, would she have been allowed inside the castle without permission?
But on the whole, I enjoyed the story as a humour fic-- I suppose I mustn't take it too seriously. :)
I have to comment a little on your way of writing too. Something I felt was prominent in the first paragraph was short, choppy sentences. The first two lines were wonderful, they drew you into the fic, but the lines immediately following were very short and choppy. I think you should try to incorporate two or more sentences and make longer, better-flowing compound sentences.
But in the end, as a not-deep, silly humour fic, this story really scores, and you did an amazing job.
Author's Response: G'day BB, honey, it's a humor fic, don't take it so seriously. I do thank you for pointing out those mistakes and if I can find them among all the ITALIC! then I'll mix them. As for Snape being nice at the end... would you be happy if you had a girlfriend like his? Oh and who said the professors didn't know? ; ) LOL. Well, you obviously have to much time on your hands and my response is going to pail in comparison. ...xXxLove SandyxXx...
Your first chapter is pretty interesting because I love the way you express your ideas and yes, I really would like to know whether Harry is going to fantasize about Snape’s girlfriend. It would be great fun. So, hurry up with the second one dear.
Author's Response: G'day Wilfen Unfortunately, Hun, it's a one-shot. Although if I get a bunny for a follow-up, I'll send it to my magnifisent beta straight away! Promise. ...xXxLove SandyxXx...
Congrats on the validation, Sandy! That's quite the image, Snape with a sexy, flirtatious girlfriend. No wonder Harry seems to have trouble processing it! This was good for a laugh. Nice job!
Author's Response: G'day Fellow Badger (I recognized your name). Yes, I thought it would be fun to give Severus someone to...play with ;) And adding Harry into the mix was just to fun to pass up...plus now his tromatized! *is evil* I'm glad you liked it and got a laugh. As I always say, "Laughter lowers the risk of a heart attack, so I'm keeping people alive". Ain't I nice? ...xXxLove SandyxXx...
Snape has a GIRLFRIEND?Its a miracle,if you ask me.
Author's Response: G'day LOL, it is! I'm God, I preform miracles... LOL only kidding. Thanks for the kind review. ...xXxLove SandyxXx...
Well... nice to know our dear potions professor does have a social life! 'Twas rather amusing.
Author's Response: G'day Yey, you're my first review. I'm glad you found it amusing. A few of my Badger friends liked him so I annoyed them by giving him a girlfriend *evil smile* ...xXxLove SandyxXx...