Reviews For We All Fall Down
Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist
Date: 07/24/09 22:34
Chapter: Chapter 3

Okay...I get it a little more now...Armelle isn't going to fall in love with Tom, is she? Cuz I'm sure she can do better than him...

Great Chapter.

Btw, I love how your chapters are short. Perfect for my attention span.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist
Date: 07/24/09 22:11
Chapter: Library Encounters

Great chapter! I can totally see Armelle's Slytherin-ness coming through. I also like your characterization of Tom Riddle.

I have a little nitpick-type-thing:

Ruby tucked her mousey brown hair behind her ears and sat down. “What are you studying?” she asked, peering at the stack of books that were nearly as tall as she was.
“Arithmancy.” She indicated the numbers scrawled on the parchment with a groan. “I don’t know why I took it. Turns out I hate numbers.”

In this little chunk, it's sort of hard to tell who's talking. You might want to fix that.

On to the next chapter!

Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist
Date: 07/24/09 22:05
Chapter: Chapter 1, Armelle Banks

Wow. This is good.

The reason I found this fic is because I was browsing the recently updated fics, looking to see if anyone had reviewed mine, and I noticed that no one had reviewed this (I have a sort of fixture on unreviewed fics). I can't imainge why. This is really well written, and a very interesting premise. Armelle is a very interesting OC. I have to admit that I have no idea where this is going, but I'm willing to wait to find out.

Just one little nitpick:

Telling her that she even looked at little like Fay Banks was certainly a compliment.

That "at" should be an "a".

Great Job.

H_T

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Severus's Prince by DestinyMoonStar Professors
What does Severus Snape do when a one night stand turns into a baby boy? ...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
FEATURED
The Pretender by littlebird Professors
She feels the familiar pang of disappointment that they've never been better...
A Light in the Gap by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
When Harry woke that first morning in Grimmauld Place, he wondered if Ron and...
Tapestry by Equinox Chick 1st-2nd Years
As Walburga Black stitches, Sirius rebels. Two poems written about the infamous...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
CATEGORIES