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Reviews For We All Fall Down

Name: Hermiones_Therapist (Signed) · Date: 07/24/09 22:34 · For: Chapter 3
Okay...I get it a little more now...Armelle isn't going to fall in love with Tom, is she? Cuz I'm sure she can do better than him...

Great Chapter.

Btw, I love how your chapters are short. Perfect for my attention span.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Name: Hermiones_Therapist (Signed) · Date: 07/24/09 22:11 · For: Library Encounters
Great chapter! I can totally see Armelle's Slytherin-ness coming through. I also like your characterization of Tom Riddle.

I have a little nitpick-type-thing:

Ruby tucked her mousey brown hair behind her ears and sat down. “What are you studying?” she asked, peering at the stack of books that were nearly as tall as she was.
“Arithmancy.” She indicated the numbers scrawled on the parchment with a groan. “I don’t know why I took it. Turns out I hate numbers.”

In this little chunk, it's sort of hard to tell who's talking. You might want to fix that.

On to the next chapter!

Name: Hermiones_Therapist (Signed) · Date: 07/24/09 22:05 · For: Chapter 1, Armelle Banks
Wow. This is good.

The reason I found this fic is because I was browsing the recently updated fics, looking to see if anyone had reviewed mine, and I noticed that no one had reviewed this (I have a sort of fixture on unreviewed fics). I can't imainge why. This is really well written, and a very interesting premise. Armelle is a very interesting OC. I have to admit that I have no idea where this is going, but I'm willing to wait to find out.

Just one little nitpick:

Telling her that she even looked at little like Fay Banks was certainly a compliment.

That "at" should be an "a".

Great Job.


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