Reviewer: Stargazer1574
Date: 03/06/11 19:55
Chapter: The Shadows on Preston Road

Please come back!!!!! I love this whole series!!! Neville is my favorite and u wrote so well! Pleeeeease!?!?!!!!

Reviewer: wishbones and witches
Date: 08/31/10 11:53
Chapter: The Meeting in the Pub

Poor Neville! He's not really rising to the challenge but who could blame him. I love this entire series, my favourite one is probably the GoF remake. It's great how it isn't just a rewrite with the names switched around a bit, but a complete rework of the story. The differences between the book and this is what makes it so interesting. I know you haven't updated this in a while but I hope you haven't given up on it.

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 07/17/10 14:09
Chapter: The Meeting in the Pub

I really hope this hasn't disappeared again. :(

If you stopped writing cause of few reviews, it's my personal belief that this is the kind that will be reviewed a lot after it has been completed.

Please don't give up! It really is a fantastic story.

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 05/06/10 13:16
Chapter: The Meeting in the Pub

Oh dear - a more rocky begining for the DA than in canon. Great chapter - looking forward to more, sir.

Author's Response: Well, the DA itself will be fine, it's Neville's participation in it that's the problem. More on the way once I've written it; I'm getting behind, but we're closing in on the chapters I'm really looking forward to writing.

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 04/10/10 13:34
Chapter: Umbridge's Quill

Poor Neville - I really felt for him. Umbridge is a nasty piece of work. Well written as always. Great job n

Author's Response: Umbridge's cruelty really is horrific, and seemingly needless, but Umbridge has plans for Neville. BTW, the next chapter may be a little delayed. It's not finished yet, and I'm going to be crazy busy this week, so you might not get it for a while.

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 03/30/10 7:16
Chapter: The Ministry's Appointment

Euh - Umbridge really is just detestable, isn't she? Great chapter - shame Harry didn't break Malfoys nose, but I guess he'd have got into a whole stack of trouble if he did. Great chapter - looking forward to more

Author's Response: You think Umbridge is bad now, you just wait for the next chapter. I did consider letting Harry go further in attacking Malfoy (and Harry certainly wanted too), but I had to show Ron sticking up for and looking out for his best friend. There's a cold fury about Harry when he gets angry, particularly when people close to him are involved, and if Ron hadn't stepped in, there's no telling what he would have done to Malfoy.

Reviewer: armagod679
Date: 03/29/10 15:44
Chapter: The Ministry's Appointment

I am very glad that you preserved Neville's character in this chapter. I was a bit worried that he would shout out as Harry would have and did, but you kept him true to the very end. Good work!

Author's Response: Yes, keeping quiet is exactly how I believe Neville would react, but as you'll see later, I think it's the wrong decision. Harry made the right choice in this situation in my opinion, and this is the first of Neville's poor (but understandable) choices in this story.

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 03/18/10 11:53
Chapter: Girl with a Radish Earring

Ah Luna - what a character. I'm happy to say you got her character quite well, which I applaud you for. It's probably not the easiest of characters to write. Nice work, looking forward to more.

Author's Response: Luna I did find extremely difficult to write, which is probably why this chapter ended up a little shorter than others and padded out with the Sorting Hat song. Hopefully I'll get used to writing her, as I have plans for her later in the series.

Reviewer: witch1561
Date: 03/14/10 15:30
Chapter: Black and White

I like this chapter: it really has a different feel to just repeating what happens in the books: that must be difficult to do. This has all the characters behaving in ways you'd expect, but with their different history.

I'm looking forward to seeing what happens to Harry in this book: up until now, he's (with a couple of exceptions) been very much a copy of James and Sirius when they were at school, which I think is right given he's been brought up be Sirius, but presumably as OotP is Neville's 'growing up' book, this will be Harry's and we'll start to see him in a more familiar way.

I'm really looking forward to seeing where you'll take this story.

Author's Response: Oddly, the chapters in which I deviate from canon a lot are sometimes easier to write, as I've been thinking about them and planning them a lot more, I suppose. I certainly wrote this chapter quicker than either of the next two. I suppose in one way OOTP will be Harry's growing up story as he really takes a stand in this fic and grows into a leadership role, but in terms of true maturity, you might have to wait until HBP, when he's no longer spending all his time with Fred and George! Arguably, I don't think even the canon Harry really became mature until HBP. You should see plenty of Harry in this fic, but I need him for the story to be Siriusish for a little bit longer!

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 03/14/10 7:35
Chapter: Black and White

Nice chapter. Loved the little locket hint and Sirius explaining some of his past to Neville. Was a very well written chapter. I hope you keep it up, your writng truly is excellent.

Author's Response: Ah, you spotted the locket, well done! It feels rather surreal writing hints for what will be chapter 6 of DH, but I have worked out what happens to the locket. I enjoyed writing this chapter, as I always wanted to show Sirius and Harry at home, glad you liked it. Incidentally, this chapter has what may well be the only reference to any of the Dursleys in the entire series, and I don't miss them!

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 03/10/10 11:09
Chapter: Courtroom Ten

Ah, Moody - you don't get a scarier good guy than him. Nicely written chapter - looking forward to Harrys surprise.

Author's Response: The bit where Moody spooks the Aurors really made me laugh when I thought of it! Moody's a really important character in this series. Harry's surprise is the subject of the next chapter: 'Black and White'.

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 03/10/10 10:51
Chapter: The Order's Headquarters

Another excellent chapter - you've given the whole snape thing another twist. Good to see Harry again too - hoPefully he can help Neville.

Author's Response: The more I can keep twisting Snape's story the better (there'll be a couple more twists in OOTP yet)! There'll be a lot of people trying to help Neville in this story, but will he take the help?

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 03/09/10 16:00
Chapter: Surprise Guests

Just realised you had started work again - really am thrilled, I have been following this story since about half way through Stone and it is one of my favourite things to read.

I simply love Sirius' character in this series - the line about him walking in as though he owned the place brought a smile!

Poor Neville is pretty down. Great writing and great to have you back!

Author's Response: Hey, great to hear from you again! Sirius is a lot of fun to write, I must say. This chapter is all about setting up the atmosphere for the story. Neville starts down, and sadly things will only get worse.

Reviewer: e of pi
Date: 02/18/10 16:18
Chapter: The Shadows on Preston Road

Sonorus, you cannot imagine how pleased I was to see a new update notice sitting in my mailbox after giving this fic up for dead for so long. This has always been one of my favorite series of Harry Potter fics, and I would love to see it finally concluded. You have both a good grasp on canon and a knack for introducing logical changes because of other changes--what an alt-hitsory board I belong to calls the "buttterfies" of a change, like the Ford Anglica showing up here intact and ready for Neville to use because it was never crashed into the Whomping Willow.

If you keep this going, know that there's at least one of your original readers eagerly following your stuff. Anyway, I may have to re-read the old stuff to make sure I'm ready to appreciate the new stuff as it comes.

Author's Response: Yes, I'm back, and I'm going to do my best to stay. The thing was, I was working on another fic and I got bogged down creating the plot, and I realised I had an already fully created plot sitting and ready to be written. I could never forgive myself if I didn't get to write some of the chapters I have planned. I made sure I got ahead of myself before submitting, so chapters 3, 4 and 5 are already written, and I'm currently wrestling with chapter 6 and trying to write Luna Lovegood for the first time! Great to hear that at least one of my old readers is still out there.

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 10/27/09 9:37
Chapter: The Shadows on Preston Road

Just reread the entire series again - great stuff, it really is. I am not sure if you are still writing this - it seems you have disappeared completely. I hope you are still writing it as I really want to read on. Still, good job.

Author's Response: Very belated reply: yes, as you guessed, this series had gone on a long hiatus, but it's back now, I promise!

Reviewer: Doxy Eggs
Date: 05/06/09 23:26
Chapter: The Shadows on Preston Road

Ah! The end of this chapter was very creepy, but it was good! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Very belated reply: several months later, the next chapter is on its way!

Reviewer: jediprankster
Date: 03/27/09 1:18
Chapter: The Shadows on Preston Road

"I hope his toes never grow back.” - Even though we know next to nothing about Augusta Longbottom from Canon, that statement perfectly fits what we do know. This is a very good beginning for Neville's fifth year.

Now, about the hearing. Neville could claim that he didn't conjure a Patronus. Technically, he wasn't able to conjure one, and the Ministry already knows that Dung was there. They can only tell that the spell was cast in Neville's presence because of how the Trace works, not who cast it. Are you rewriting that tiny bit of this world or are you going to put another obstacle in place so that isn't a viable story for them to tell?

I have been enjoying this series from the beginning, and this looks like it will be even better than what has come before. Can't wait for the rest.

Author's Response: I loved that 'toes' line when I wrote it. I must remember to have Dung hobbling when we next see him. Yes, Neville could claim that he didn't cast the Patronus, but would Fudge (or Umbridge) be in any mood to believe him? Besides, it would be a lie that would land Dung right in it, and I don't think Neville would be prepared to do that. He did cast a spell that Robert saw, even if it wasn't a fully-fledged Patronus. Dung is Neville's great hope - provided they both tell the truth and their stories agree, Neville should be fine, just as Harry was in canon. The trouble is, relying on Dung for anything is dangerous...

Reviewer: Bribe
Date: 03/26/09 20:31
Chapter: The Shadows on Preston Road

I have read all these Neville Longbottem stories and they are coming together well. Good start to the next installment.
One question though, couldn't the ministry official or Neville's gran have repaired the damage to Robert's shirt? It would have made hiding what had happened easier.

Author's Response: I suppose in theory they could have fixed his shirt, but I wanted a good line to end the chapter, and that worked best. Let's go with the theory that neither of them noticed the tear before they let Robert go. Robert's mother just assumed he'd torn it practising football. The whole incident was well enough hidden.

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 03/26/09 17:36
Chapter: The Shadows on Preston Road

Ooh...good beginning. Very creative. I sort of hoped for a second that maybe Robert and Neville could be friends...he seemed like a nice boy. Too bad. It's interesting to see something so dramatic for Neville through the eyes of someone who doesn't really understand it at all.

Author's Response: That's what I was going for - how a complete outsider would react to the crazy situation Neville's in. Robert can't understand anything, but he can relate to Neville as someone of his own age. In another world, perhaps they could have been friends. (In fact, if you imagine that Robert exists in JK Rowling's universe as well, perhaps they were friends there!)

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 03/26/09 13:47
Chapter: The Shadows on Preston Road

Great start to the new fiction, I liked the change from JKR's version and loved Robbert - considering we'll probably never see him again he was well characterised and fleshed out. Looking forward to chpt 2!

Author's Response: I'm afraid we won't see Robert again, I created him just for this chapter. I loved the idea of putting a Muggle through all the stress and chaos of learning about wizards and then resetting at the end. It was just a great opportunity to try something different, a fresh perspective.

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