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Reviews For He's Left You...

Name: XhayleeXblackX (Signed) · Date: 05/30/09 15:33 · For: Chapter 1
Hello Buddy!

Well, this was an interesting poem. I find repetition in poetry very powerful, and that was no exception in this with the repetition of “he’s left you, he’s left you, he’s left you…
He’s left you, and now you have nowhere to go…
”. It made the transitions between stanzas very powerful because it burrowed the girl’s emotions into the reader’s brain. I found that each time you used those lines, I could imagine new emotions that she could be feeling – such as sadness, anger, hurt – which this poem did very well throughout.

The one thing that threw me off was that the punctuation and capitalization wasn’t always consistent. While poetry has an ‘artistic license’ with grammar and such, it should be consistent in style throughout the poem. There were a couple of lines that ended in ellipses, not counting the repeated lines, while the rest of them ended in commas or periods.

The ending! That was such a surprise twist, especially for a poem. However, I thought it was fitting. It allowed the rest of the poem to come together and make sense as a whole.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this and I hope you will write more poetry in the future.


Name: mrsmcclnt (Signed) · Date: 04/15/09 13:48 · For: Chapter 1
I'm not a poetry person myself, so I was surprisingly pleased with this. The chorus in between was very fitting. And how you kept us going till the end was very nice.

For a moment I thought this was something about Merope and Tom, but when you reveled it to be Rowena and Salazar…again, it was surprisingly pleased.

Great job.

Author's Response: I'm surprised at the number of people who don't like/ don't read poetry who are reading this... Thanks for the review!

Tom and Merope! Now that's a nice idea... Most people thought it was Harry/someone.

I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the review!

Name: ringobeatlesfan4 (Signed) · Date: 04/14/09 12:12 · For: Chapter 1
(Here's your Easter Egg review, BB!) Wow. Wow BB. Wow. That was intense. I really liked it though, it was really well done and the emotions were wonderfully portrayed.I was relatively shocked at the suicide mentioning... it seems too depressing for you (considering I've read your other two HP fanfics (I havent been able to bring myself to read the Twitternet one yet considering my opinion of Twilight(not a good one, might i add))) (yes, i do like parentheses... argh! there i go again) Anyway, it was really well done (have i said that yet? ah well, putting emphasis on it works). And... I really hope you write more! {BeccA}

Author's Response: Yeah, this is a drastic departure from the rather humourous tone of the rest of my fics... I'm glad you liked it (and I like parentheses too! But dashes (--) and ellipses pwn more... see!)

Name: bellaoc (Signed) · Date: 04/13/09 23:46 · For: Chapter 1
Hey BB!
I really like this poem! And I'm hard to please, because I really don't like poetry! I like the repeating phrase over and over again, it drives the point home without being overly repetitive.

I also like how you don't find out who it is about until the end, and it was definitely a shock to see that it was Rowena/Salazar. I think it's interesting in a poem, and you should write a story about it!!! but overall, great poem! :)


Author's Response: I'm glad you read and reviewed this, even though you don't like poetry! I suppose this poem has only strengthened your hate for it?
Thanks for the review, Bella!

Name: padfootsgirl1981 (Signed) · Date: 04/13/09 15:04 · For: Chapter 1
Hey, BB! Great poem! I really enjoyed it!
I love the originality of ow you have a love story told through the eyes of someone who is not the lovers themselves.

It's great how you don't reveal who this couple is until the final stanza, I must admit I had no idea it was Rowena and Salazar! I saw the green eyes part and immediately jumped to Harry :p.

He’s left you, he’s left you, he’s left you…

He’s left you, and now you have nowhere to go…

Oooh, this is so eerie! In my mind it cunjured up an image of voices whispering and taunting Rowena and that it was them that drove her to take her life. Is this what you intended? Even if it wasn't, it's still a fantastic image.

Yes, a great poem, I enjoyd reading it! I hope you liked your easter egg, BB!

~Whit (who's thinking of taking over from the Easter Bunny :D)

Author's Response: Yeah, most people write stories from the point of view of either of the lovers or both, I suppose this is rather different. I like twists in fics, so naturally, when I could add a twist here, I did so.

Of course, that's completely what I intended! Well, maybe not, but I'm glad you liked it anyway.. Thanks for the review!

Name: mahogany_wand (Signed) · Date: 04/13/09 14:10 · For: Chapter 1
BB, this was brilliant! It hit just the right note of bitterness and resentment. It read so well, your word choice was excellent!

I really loved this poem. As a Ravenclaw, I was sad to see our Mother Rowena so depressed. *glares at Salazar*

Great job, and I look forward to more poetry by you.


Author's Response: This is the first time some one actually praised my word choice! I'm normally never proud of it...

Haha, Salazar deserves a glare, the jerk! :D

Thanks for the review, I've got several more pieces of poetry validated! blinded is serious, whereas
Rebellion! and Having a Ball... Not!
are meant to be funny. Ish.

Name: AlexPotter (Signed) · Date: 04/13/09 11:25 · For: Chapter 1
Aw, this is so beautiful! I actually love it. Great job, BB! ~Holly xx

Author's Response: Cool, thanks!

Name: Vittoria (Signed) · Date: 04/12/09 9:04 · For: Chapter 1
I'm never the poetry sort of person but I found this particular piece of writing very intriguing. Never would I have guessed that you were referring to Salazar and Rowena if you hadn't mentioned their names. I was misled by the words "green eyes". It's an interesting take on the founders. I've never imagined their lives from a romantic aspect!

Nice work.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing this, despite the fact that you don't like poetry much!

I never meant for people to be misled by the "green eyes", but it apparently is doing that, so it's a good thing!

I've always wondered whether those four friends, working together, being together for so long... Wouldn't there have been a spark of romance between at least two of them?


Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 03/30/09 11:03 · For: Chapter 1
OOOH, Fabulosa, BB. The repetative lines are particularly effective because they sound like waves crashing on the shore.

You realise that I need to know more about this child and her parents Get cracking on a sequel!

Wonderfully atmospheric and well written.

Carole xxx

Author's Response: Thanks! Waves crashing on a shore? Wow, thanks!

You know a lot about this child already- she's Helena Ravenclaw! I'll write up a sequel IF I get some ideas...

Thanks for the compliments and the review!

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