MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: silverlining95 (Signed) · Date: 03/24/12 23:20 · For: Chapter 4 - Running in the Family
Love love love! Please update soon! Another brilliantly written fic from you, you have this amazing ability to really draw readers into your story, love it!

Author's Response: Thank you very much. yes, I should write and complete this as I know the story and have it mapped out somewhere. OOOPs. Thanks for reviewing. ~Carole~

Name: Shallows (Signed) · Date: 02/01/12 5:39 · For: Chapter 1 - Fathers and Sons.
I've been waiting so long for an update! I absolutely love the character of Dean and I feel as though you portrayed what we didn't see of his character very well. Please don't let the story go unfinished!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. I really do want to finish this story, but I get too distracted by other things. *sigh*. I will make a concerted effort with this one though because I do know where it's going and what develops.

Name: AriPotter (Signed) · Date: 10/02/11 20:31 · For: Chapter 4 - Running in the Family
Ugh! I hate getting to the end of a story before realizing that it was never finished! I was really enjoying it and found it quite interesting!

Author's Response: Sorry. This is on my to do list and will hopefully be finished by the end of the year. I write too much and have too many chaptered fics, but I will get around to this. ~Carole~

Name: auror222 (Signed) · Date: 02/25/11 12:37 · For: Chapter 4 - Running in the Family
MORE MORE MORE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Response: It's on my to do list. Thank you for the review and I am glad you're enjoying the story. ~Carole~

Name: DaisyMaeEvans (Signed) · Date: 02/07/11 18:45 · For: Chapter 4 - Running in the Family
This is excellent, I'm really getting caught up in it. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Hopefully the next chapter won;t take too long. ~Carole~

Name: sam1 (Signed) · Date: 02/04/11 11:23 · For: Chapter 4 - Running in the Family
i like u story very much i have always liked dean thomas hope u update soon

Author's Response: Thank you

Name: sam1 (Signed) · Date: 02/04/11 11:23 · For: Chapter 4 - Running in the Family
i like u story very much i have always liked dean thomas hope u update soon

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I plan on finishing, and will hopefully update fairly soon, but I have a few other fics to update as well, Thank you for reading ~Carole~

Name: Virgil (Signed) · Date: 07/02/10 20:50 · For: Chapter 3 - Deals
Wow! It seems like you've constructed quite an intricate plot here, and your writing style is excellent as well. I really want to know what happens next, so keep updating!


Author's Response: Thanks Virgil. Mmm, it is a bit of a convoluted plot ... but I shall keep going. Glad you're enjoying it. ~Carole~

Name: Nitwit Blubber Oddment Tweak x (Signed) · Date: 06/25/10 14:32 · For: Chapter 1 - Fathers and Sons.
Hi, Carole!

I really love this chapter. Your premise of this story is brilliant - interesting back-drop, great characters and some family history that's never really explored. I'm always in awe of how deeply you delve into minor characters, and how you can create these truly believable histories and engrossing family dynamics. You really do have talent, you know? Do me a favour and never stop writing, especially about minor characters ;)

Okay, one of the first things I noticed is Ron's use of the word lawyer. Lawyer is a Muggle reference, and I don't think it's especially suitable coming from Ron, a pureblood. He's more than likely aware of the word lawyer, just like in HBP when he recognised the word 'doctor'. "Doctors? Those Muggle nutters that cut people up? Nah, they're Healers." Is there a magical equivalent of a lawyer, perhaps, that Ron would say instead? Or, you could have him hesitate before using the word 'lawyer', trying to think of the word.

Your characterisation of Rita is amazing, it is really very good. The dialogue is particularly accurate, as she's constantly loading Harry with lavish praise and titles - melodramatic, ostentatious and theatrical gestures that you'd imagine in a flashy,sensational, sordid article in a tabloid newspaper. I'd love to see you write a Rita article, actually. I think it would be very entertaining!

As people before me have said, the line 'I don't think Draco will ever be free.' is exceptionally powerful and very touching. It's a very simple line, yet it's extremely memorable. It's one of those lines just stick in your head. It also sums up the horror that consumes the post-war Draco.

The Reiver Curse is fascinating - I can't wait to see how it plays out! I think it's a marvellous side-story, and it's something really original and a superb contrast to the Dean-centric plot. I can't wait to see how you've developed it in the other chapters!

Also, your Dean/Luna dynamic is really well-writtten. It's an element of DH that I would have really liked to seen explored. Luna is such an eccentric, and Thomas always appeared to be so normal, so average, so conventional almost. They're an unlikely pair, I'll admit, but then again, I think unlikely pairs are your forte ;)

I thought that the scene between Thomas and Andromeda was very touching, by the way. I'm looking forward to seeing how you develop Andromeda. I like the mixture of vulnerability and the sort of hard, gritty persona that I've always perceived Andromeda to have. The interaction between Andromeda and baby Teddy was also very sweet. I really did feel very sorry for Andromeda, so you portrayed her grief excellently.

I have to applaud your ending of the chapter. You must know by now that I'm a stickler for chapter endings, and you really pulled this one off very fittingly. The cliff-hanger really makes me curious to read the next chapter! Which, obviously, is the desired effect.

All in all, Carole, that was a truly enjoyable chapter. You're a very talented writer :)


Author's Response: Wow, Emma, thank you for that. It's been such a long time since I wrote that opening chapter, and I can see all sorts of bits I dislike now. Good spot about 'lawyer', I'm going to try and think of something else. They had a 'Law Department' but you're right and I need to think of another word. Ah, cliffs, I like them too - hee hee. I will get onto the next chapter be very soon. ~Carole~

Name: siriusblackhead (Signed) · Date: 06/22/10 21:24 · For: Chapter 3 - Deals
I like hearing Dean's side of things. Very interesting; please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you. I will update fairly soon, once I've got some other things out of the way. Glad you're enjoying it. ~Carole~

Name: minnabird (Signed) · Date: 06/22/10 17:49 · For: Chapter 3 - Deals
"Natalie won't let me give up now."

Nor will I let you give up, Carole. xD Or, I'll badger you about chapters over AIM if you take too long in updating. I really like this so far...and my curiosity is officially piqued. So keep updating!

...Oh, one nitpick. "As far as he knew, getting pissed and screwing a Muggle girl did not contravene the Magical Secrecy Act." - Isn't it the Statute of Secrecy?

Author's Response: *sigh* so I have both of you on my back, badgering me as only badgers can do... Yes, I think you're right about the Magical Secrecy act. I was too concerned with the comedy ... I will rectify. Thanks for the review. ~Carole~

Name: bigtimer (Signed) · Date: 06/22/10 9:10 · For: Chapter 2- Memories
oh man whats gonna happen now. good story i like how angry you've made dean over the malfoy thing well done

Author's Response: Thank you. I figured Dean would be poretty angry at Malfoy especially as he spent a year basically unable to do anything. Glad you enjoyed the story ~Carole~

Name: Lilyofthevale (Signed) · Date: 06/03/10 4:51 · For: Chapter 2- Memories
Oh please write more of this story! I'm so intrigued!

Author's Response: Oh, Merlin, I've ignored this story for so long -.... ooops. I will try and write some more soon, I just seem to have taken on too many other chaptered fics, but I do know what should be happening. Thanks for the review ~Carole~

Name: doicha27 (Signed) · Date: 07/31/09 13:58 · For: Chapter 2- Memories
I like the story so far and I hope you continue it even though it has been so long since your last update.

I like the build-up you have created so far. And I am sad that Luna and Dean broke up. I have always wondered about what happened to Dean and other characters in the 7th book and what their stories are.

I kind of want to write a fanfic myself but I don't think I have the time to devote to it to do a proper story.

Please continue this one if you can!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I know I have to update and I will do as I have the whole story planned ... it's just I keep writing other things. I feel desperately sorry for poor Dean and Luna, but it's not meant to be.

I shall start writing chapter 3 soon Carole

Name: Vindictus Viridian (Signed) · Date: 04/30/09 13:22 · For: Chapter 2- Memories
*ponders the advanced math of Herbology points* And where is the rest? So far my only nitpick is a homophone: "is pour over my photographs" I believe should be "pore," as "poring" is far less messy.

Author's Response: The rest isn't quite finished... but it will be, although I appreciate that isn't really good enough. There's another two-three chapters in the pipeline and I may get one up in May (beta willing) Lord! You're right about pour/pore. I was prepared to quibble international differences but I really should know better. *scurries off to change* Although, perhaps Malfoy is oozing?

Name: itsallgood (Signed) · Date: 04/03/09 18:55 · For: Chapter 1 - Fathers and Sons.
this is excellent. I'm completely interested and can't wait to read more and you wrote the characters sooo well.
The tone felt really accurate and Dean's emotions were just right.
Luna's line toward the beginning "I don't think Draco will ever be free" (or something close) really got to me..
Great job!

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much for your review. I'm pleased you liked it. especially as these charatcers are ones I rarely write (I'm more of a Marauder writer.). I am working on the second chapter now, so hopefully that will be up soon (ish). Thank you again. I appreciate you taking the time to review. Carole xxx

Name: Sainyn Swiftfoot (Signed) · Date: 03/21/09 9:36 · For: Chapter 1 - Fathers and Sons.
Awesome first chapter! You really drew me in, and the ending was spectacular. I loved how you wrote Dean and Andromeda- perfect. =) Is Sally Lowther Dean's mum? I guess I'll have to wait and watch. What does the Reiver Curse say, anyway?

Some notes I made while reading the fic:

“I don’t think Draco will ever be free.” This is really awesome... I love how it was set up.

One of the problems I noticed was that you didn't leave spaces between paragraphs here and there:

“I’ve been looking at the drawings,” explained the woman, “and I can’t make out the inscription on the stone. Is it supposed to be a quotation or something?”
“It’s the Reiver curse,” Sally answered. She saw the woman and her friends look puzzled at her words. They don’t know their local history at all, she thought. “The Reivers were local clan families who lived along both sides of the border and pillaged the land. In fifteen hundred and twenty-five, the Archbishop of Glasgow put a curse upon them. It was one thousand words long and his words form the inscription around the stone.”


“Are you sure?” replied the grizzled barman.
“I didn’t think you’d turn away custom, Aberforth,” Dean retorted.

Some of them,” she glanced at Gerald Graham, “still like to cause trouble at every opportunity.” AMAZING! I really love this line.

I think you left out a word here: Lucius Malfoy – there’s plenty feel like you but drinking won’t solve that injustice either. I think you mean “there are plenty who feel like you”...


The story was amazing, you're a really talented writer. :) I'll be looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Aww, cheers BB. Thank you for the review. The Reiver Curse is about 1000 words long but basically it curses the Reivers and all their families for a long time. There's a mention of Fire, pestilence, famine and flood in there.

I'll look at the spacing now.

With Aberforth, that's the way he speaks. It's a rough form of speech that I think suits him. Sally Lowther isn't Dean's mum, by the way. He knows who his mum is, just not his real dad. Sally is a relation though.

Thank you again. *must now write chapter 2*

Carole xxx

Name: primagirl89 (Signed) · Date: 03/16/09 23:23 · For: Chapter 1 - Fathers and Sons.
Wow... really interesting premise. I like all the backgroud you included in the first chapter-the reader isn't lost and has engough info to care. The revelation at the end is really good, I wasn't expecting that. Looking for more!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I've often wondered about Dean's real dad and for some reason linking his story to Carlisle and the Reiver Stone has made sense.


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