I loved the first line (We had met as the rain fell). I knew as I read that I was going to enjoy reading this. It was sweet of Tom to give her money and his coat. Too bad she's not good with magic. Her father and brother could stand to be tortured a little. Anyway, nice job. :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yes, the first line happens to be one of my favorites. I'm glad you liked this. Thanks again for replying. :)
First off, I must say this: what drew me to this story is your summary and first line: We had met as the rain fell. I was surprised, as I had written a story with almost the exact same phrasing one time! So, whoot for that. But onto the actual story:
I thought this was very nicely done. Merope/Tom is a pairing that I absolutely love to consider, because we only know the outline of how everything happened between them. I like to think that there’s more than what JKR gave us. I really liked your description of how Tom was kind to Merope when they first met – it shows that she was attracted to him beyond reasons that were purely physical, which makes sense. I mean, it seems sort of crazy to go to such extremes to brew a love potion for a guy just because he’s nice looking.
However, in HBP, I recall that when Tom was riding past the Gaunt house, he seemed to take a rather snobbish attitude with them, and I get the impression that he’s the sort of person who wouldn’t deign to talk to Merope on most days. I think it would have been nice in your story to show some of his contempt toward the Gaunts – whether his attitude had changed since he first met Merope, or whether he was actually being nice to her out of pity. Either way, I would have liked to have seen this dimension to Tom, however you would have seen fit.
Also, I know that quantity by no means equals quality, but I thought it would have been nice if there were a bit more to this story, since you did so well with what you have written. I think it would be interesting to see a series of events from Merope’s point of view, as she has various encounters with Tom, or, by whatever means, comes to realize that she’s in love with him.
But anyway, I actually really like this story. I liked that you included the bit with Morfin in the end – I’ve read a couple of Tom/Merope stories, but none about how and why Morfin hexed Tom, so I thought that was a lovely addition. I hope that you’ll pursue writing about Tom and Merope’s relationship in the future – I’ll eagerly read anything you come up with! I think you do a nice job with this pairing.
Thanks for the lovely read!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you liked this story. I agree that it should have been longer and I should have put more detail, but it had been a while since I had looked at the story and I decided to leave it as it was. Perhaps later I will continue writing another piece on them; the pairing certainly intruiges me and I love the story behind it. The purpose of Tom being nice was exactly as you put it, because I thought there had to be more depth to why Merope liked Tom so much. About Tom's attitude toward the Gaunts, perhaps I should have added that too. Again, thank you so much for all the feedback and I'm glad you liked the story.
I bet Morfin was just jealous xD
Once again, great work you've got here. You had this up in HPFZ too, right? Hmm... never got around to reading it hehe but finally I read it here and it's awesome!
I think you captured Merope the way she was... she's not really all there, but she's not completely gone either. Tom did surprise me a bit... what an unexpected gentleman xD I liked him, and then Morfin had to curse him...
You know, I've always wondered what Marvolo's wife would have been like... guess we will never know
Looking forward to more stories! =P
Author's Response: Jackie! Thanks so much for reviewing. Yeah, this was on HPFZ but no one really noticed it. I'm glad you liked it, but I'm actually quite proud of it. Like I said before, I had been wanting to write about Merope for a while and I'm glad I finally got a chance to. Thanks again. :)
Wow I wish there was more! It's so good! The RiddleSr/Merope pairing always intrigues me! Great Job! :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much. It has always intruiged me too and I had been wanting to write a fic about them for a while. Thanks again.
I liked it a lot, Merope was a lot like I thought she'd be. My only question is about Tom. Wasn't it said in Chapter 1 of Book 4 that Voldemort's grandparents had been snobbish and rude, and that Voldemort's father had been worse? So I wouldn't have made Tom so kind, I guess.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I must have overlooked that fact when I wrote this. I wanted there to be something that made Merope so keen on Tom, other than looks. Thanks for pointing that out.
I liked your characterisation of Merope - it does justice to JKR’s version of her, I think. And Morfin, too, and Merope’s fear of her dad.
I think it’s a bit fast paced though. I mean, especially at the beginning, the events happening seemed to fly by. It would’ve been nice with a bit more description, or Merope’s thoughts. Like, at the beginning, a brief description of the village, what does Merope thinks of it all, etc, would’ve been nice. And, in the interval between Tom and his girlfriend leaving the pub, it would’ve been good if you’d said how cold she was, how dark it was, how she was feeling and things. Not the best suggestions, but you know. :]
Anyway, great work. In fact, I wish it were longer. XD x
Author's Response: My first review! Those were some great suggestions and I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me that. Thank you so much.