Hmmm... I enjoyed this fic. It moved fluidly, and captured James and Lily's emotions very well. Your writing style has clarity and sharpness to it, and the flow of words is very good. The plot was well formed and the moods were well captured. :)
However, I think you've missed out on Dumbledore's characterisation. I would have suggested a way of making it better, if it weren't that I'm bad at his characterisation myself. But I think the following line made Dumbledore seem slightly OOC-
“Lily, my dear. How lovely you look.”
Oh, and Sirius being sexy... ;)
This was charming, a pleasure to read, but the internal conflict was too brief, too easily resolved, for my tastes. I would like to see more of it.
Thank you for writing it. I did feel like I was there because you captured the spirit of the characters so well.