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Fun little story...Never read anything similar to this Great job :-)
Wow – you two handled this challenge brilliantly! The two differing POVs fitted together perfectly and even though both were in the first person it was always clear whose POV I was reading from. Each section fitted together so well that I would not have thought that I was reading writing by two different authors – it was very cohesive and that is excellent.
I have to say that Rosmerta/Sirius is not a pairing I would ever have even thought could exist but this chapter has made me believe that it could happen and it could work. I like the presentation of Rosmerta as lonely and thought this line: I either needed to get out like my brain was screaming, or fall back into the routine like I had done all my life. was particularly good for showing how she was truly feeling – as if she needed to escape her everyday life and do something exciting. For Sirius to come along as a charming, young man full of enthusiasm and energy showed how she could have something more out her life.
The interaction and the dialogue between the two really fitted the style and gave such a sweet presentation of a couple just beginning to get to know each other. There were moments in this story which made me go ‘aw’ which I always see as a sign of a good romance. The easy conversation and the friendly banter between the two was particularly noticeable in the Shrieking Shack scene and I loved the sarcastic quips between the two such as Rosmerta’s “Do magicians need to walk to perform magic?” as they showed how well they were suited to each other and how easily they could interact with each other. I also liked the fact that in spite of Sirius’ attempts to remain casual, he had clearly planned the date in advance and is keen to make it as special as he can for Rosmerta.
There were other moments which made me smile, particularly this line: his face crinkling with happiness. I find the image of Sirius’ face ‘crinkling’ to be so sweet and I think this was an excellent choice of word, a feature which was strong throughout the story.
I also liked the fact that while in general things were easy between the two, you kept them true to their characters by incorporating moments of doubt and awkwardness, where Rosmerta, especially, does not know how to respond to Sirius’ actions. I felt this was best shown here: In a sudden, offhandedly-casual movement, I rested my elbow on the counter. I realized my mistake instantly as Rosmerta drew back from the bar, drew into herself, her brow furrowing in confusion. I spoke quickly to move past the awkward moment. as it uses the idea that Rosmerta is confused as to why she is receiving attention and doesn’t know how to respond in this confusion. I also like the fact that Sirius showed an awareness of his actions and of how they might influence Rosmerta. I felt both characters were very well-handled.
I have nothing to nitpick in this story. It was obviously well-planned and is a sweet portrayal of a first date between two interesting characters. It most certainly deserved its challenge win.
I liked this. It's a bit of a different take on the lothario styled version of Sirius that's been stuck in my head. I like the bit of awkwardness between them. Despite them knowing each other on a casual let, it's refreshing to see them kind of stumble about as they tread new territory in their friendship.
I wish you would have elaborated more on what made Rosemerta so special to Sirius form Sirius' POV. Why did he make that extra effort for and take her to a place so sacred to him like the Shrieking Shack? That bit of insight into that man's mind would have made the moments in the story extra special.
Aww, guys. That was so cute :) I was expecting some sort of fast whirlwind romance, ending as just a fling, the two forgetting about each other, blah blah.
But that was so much sweeter, they didn't even kiss! How lovely. :)
But yeah. Adorable. :)
Author's Response: THANKS LEX! And they do kiss? >.< Lol... ^_^
Very, very unique. I love the pairing. The writing is good and It makes you think, "what's going to happen next?" I love it. Keep up the good work!!!
Ooo! *hugs her Kat and Rhi* I have to say that I do have a soft spot for Sirius/Rosmerta fics, and this one was perfect! You captured Rosmerta's boredom about her job, and can definitely see that she would get sick of the daily repetition. Like Carole, I was relieved that Sirius was genuinely nice to her, instead of just wanting her as a one-night thing. But, of course, I didn't expect either of you to write him like that, because you're both awesome!
Sorry I don't have anything really constructive to say, but I just could resist reviewing this, even though I should be doing homework. >.>
Author's Response: -hugs- Thanks, Azhure! I'm really happy that both of yall were happy with the Sirius we wrote--that really means a lot :D and I too have a soft spot for this ship... It just seems to flow so nicely, yeah? Thanks for the lubly review =] --Kat
This is a good story. Poor Rosmerta, barmaids/landladies have a rotten life at times. I'm glad Sirius was able to bring some light into her life. As a side note, I was equally pleased to discover that she looks like me - short and with brown eyes - I knew I was his type!(and I used to be a barmaid)
“Nourishmenus summonus, foodus conjurus,” That line made me giggle along with Rosmerta.
The use of the word 'baseboards' is not one I'm familiar with - is it the same as 'skirting boards' - minor britpick there - sorry.
Seriously though, what I like about this story is that you haven't gone down the cliched Sirius-as-sexual-predator route. He's nice to her and although they're indulging in a mild flirtation it's just a very brief (but gorgeous) kiss.
Author's Response: Thanks, Carole! I'm going to go ahead and give Rhi the credit for that line. It made me giggle too when I read it :D And thanks for the Britpick... I'll look into editing that. I was rather happy with the Sirius we wrote because it's so easy to go too far in both directions with him,.... he was at a pretty happy medium here :D Thanks for the review!