That's all I can think of to say lol. Very good story so far. Very well written!
And now I'm off to read the rest!
Author's Response: Yay! You're reading! Anything you think to say will make me a happy writer. :)
I was grinning like and idiot reading this chapter. I love the story so far and i love ron's reaction to Scorpius and the line "What I want to know is what are your intentions toward my daughter."
Author's Response: Thank you for grinning! In the books, Ron was so protective of Hermione, I couldn't see him not being even more protective of their daughter. He might be a teddy bear at heart, but he can roar like a Grizzly. :D
I am so excited to have stumbled across your writing! I've read several stories, but promised myself I would get a username and write a review before I read anymore :)
I didn't get hooked on Harry until my son started reading the books this summer, so I've gotten to read through the whole series very quickly. You've given me the chance to keep that trend going. Since I haven't had to wait for chapters, I was also able to read your work non-stop. I had the same feeling as when reading the Potter books - I didn't want to stop as I was so wrapped up in all the little details and emotions the characters were going through. I stayed up until about 2AM to finish this book - even though I needed to be up early the next morning.
I didn't know there was a Scorpius/Rose common pairing before this, but after reading how it happened, I can't imagine any other outcome. I loved the twist where Scorpius switches from planning to tell Rose that he doesn't want a return favor to asking to come to her house. I enjoyed seeing Hermione, Ron, and Harry all grown up - so true to their characters. The descriptions of all the kids really differentiated them - how Albus responds to Scorpius vs. how Hugo responds. I loved falling in love with both Scorpius and Rose as I got to know them better and shed my stereotypes alongside them. Your detailed descriptions really brought me into their world.
Thank you for a wonderful story - I will be digging through your history for more gems!
Thank you so much for getting an account to review! I think a lot of mums get hooked on Harry through their kids. I got hooked through Snape. I read the first book and wanted to know more about him. Harry had to grow on me, lol.
I'm thrilled you love Rose and Scorpius! I used to be a Ginny/Draco shipper, so I couldn't write Lily/Scorpius, O_o, and that line in the epilogue was so obviously foreshadowing, heh, so I did my best to write them as individuals, not incarnations of their mums and dads.
Thanks again for finding the story and sacrificing sleep to read it!
such a great story!! I have been following the sequel with no idea that this story came before it! I LOVE your character development, I especially love Draco and Scorpius - you can really see how much Draco has changed and how he has brought up Scorpius so that he is different in a good way :) I also love rose's parents - so true to their younger selves! Great job and I look forward to reading more of the sequel!
Author's Response: Wow, I didn't realize you hadn't read this. I'm so glad you found it, and I'm working on the next chapter of the sequel. :)
ahah. Miley Siren. Made my day.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you laughed at that! There's a Britney Sparkles mentioned, too. I couldn't resist. Sorta "Oops, I did it again." :D
as much as i love that you've put australian references into the story, i blame crocodile dundee for your description of us. I've never once thrown a boomerang, and i'm quite sure that its not really an sport or habit of anyones to make sure they "throw them regularly" i also don't say "onya"
...sorry, that was quite harsh! i am very much enjoying the story, and i am a fan of all your work! this one is probably the best new generation one i've read so far.
Thanks so much for enjoying the story! I originally had Nana Granger have a didgeridoo collection, but Australian readers told me that wasn't proper, so I changed it to boomerangs. The accent, slang, and hat are meant to be humorous, an unintended consequence of Hermione's spell, not a blanket description of all Australians, although you might be surprised to learn there is a Boomerang Association of Australia with a bi-annual Boomerang World Cup that I'm sure people practice regularly for. You make a good point, though. Since Hermione's Muggle and probably watched Crocodile Dundee with her parents, the film might be to blame for the side effect. ;)
You weren't harsh, you were honest, and I appreciate it.
really greaat greaat story :)
Author's Response: I heart you for feeling that way! *hugs*
It's still soooo amazing the second time I read it!!! Love ur novel!!!!
Author's Response: I said you'd made my day in another reply, but now you've made my entire week. *glomps*
Wow. What an amazing story.
Rose/ Scorpius is one of my favorite topics to read about, and I think this one is the best story I've read so far.
I really like your writing style as well!
Keep writing! :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the encouraging compliments! I do think they rock as a couple, :D, so I'm glad you agree and like my writing style too. ^_^
Amazing chapter, I must say. But more than your amiable writing, I love the expansive references of literature. I love to read and I was very happy that you mentioned a copious number of literature. My hat is off to you! Bravo! If you don't mind me asking; how old are you? I'm sixteen.
Author's Response: Thank you for liking the references! As the song goes, I'm old enough to know better and still too young to care. :D
I was enjoying the story. Very unhappy about the George/Angelina divorce. Love the Scorpious/Rose. But kind of more Lucious/hermione then Draco/Hermione kind of yucky
I'm sorry you're unhappy! I'll be honest, I thought about not mentioning the divorce, but anyone who's read my George/Alicia post DH story For Bitter or for Worse (started before Jo unveiled the family tree, and winner of the Quicksilver Quill award for best Dark/Angsty Fic) knows why I think pairing George and Angelina was unhealthy and doomed, and if I hadn't brought it up, I wouldn't have been true to my view of the Potterverse. I didn't go against canon and say they never married. I just have them divorcing. It's regretable, but true, that divorce happens even in "nice" families like the Weasleys.
It doesn't impact the rest of the plot, so if you read on, you'll love Scorpius and Rose almost as much as they love each other by the end of the story!
I said I was reading this again, and it brought back fond memories of why I fell in love with fan fiction. :)
I really like how well you structured the characters, not making any of them 'perfect'. Many characterisations of Rose paint her as being a know-it-all like Hermione, who wasn't bad at anything, save for less than perfect marks in DADA. The fact that she sucks at Potions makes me like her more and identify with her, as I was complete bollocks at chemistry.
Scorpius as you've portrayed him is... interesting. I've never met anyone with that level of photographic memory before, but I've heard of it. To say that he stumbled upon it would be disingenuous, because one common misconception is that Draco was stupid. He certainly was not, though he did act like it. I really like the fact that Scorpius could be given a gift, plus the Slytherin tendency to keep it to himself.
The chemistry between Rose and Scorpius is phenomenal. they both seem to pick up on so many little things about the other, but you brouight them together without changing who they were. They simply made new discoveries and re-analysed what they each knew about themselves.
The story of Phineas Filch is interesting. While I don't think anything could get me to read a story about it, the idea of Filch and Madam Pince 'coming together' (I get a little queasy thinking about it) leaves me to wonder how it happened. I'm sure you have it all in your head (my sympathies), but if you ever wrote a story and simply alluded to it, I would definitely be interested in knowing more about it.
The way you portray the Potter cousins makes me smile. They are, by and far, some of my all time favourite characters, and some renditions of them make me cringe. Yours, however, make sense. They are enough like Harry and Ginny, but just different enough to be themselves, and though I already told you that I adore your Albus, I'll say it again. Very well done.
I really, really like what you did with Hugo. He is the stunning portrait of a Ron clone, but eventually, due to his mother's influence, no doubt, he softens toward Scorpius and helps when he got Nifflered (can't think of what else to call it). He's just the right amount of jerk and just the right amount of brother.
Your Ron and Hermione are perfect. The way Hermione shared the mind-scarring tale of how Hugo's bun was put in the oven was a great example of that. When she gets nervous, the Hermione in the books would tend to ramble facts and so forth to keep her nerves from fraying. It's just so hilarious when I read it because I think we all felt that way when our parents would reference anything to do with any icky sticky that may have occurred. *shudder*
Lucius was a total win for you. He was just the right proportion of Malfoy, grandfather, aristocrat, and bastard. It was obvious that he cared about Scorpius's future, but he was just blinded enough by prejudice to not realise that his grandson was wildly intelligent and fully capable of taking care of his own stuff. Plus, not wanting to be a certified bigot helped in my assessment of Scorpius's intelligence, but that's just me. :)
Your Astoria is vastly different from the one that lives in my head. Though this is by no means a bad thing, as the one in my head happens to be a raging racist harpy, it's just so interesting to see how others see Draco's life after leaving school and the Death Eaters behind turned out. Personally, I am all for a reformed Draco, but that's because I painted him that way in my own story.
And your Draco is different from what I expected. I always thought that, after the war, Draco would lose that awe he had of his father, since all the horrible things that had happened to the Malfoys during Voldemort's occupation of their home was his fault. Your Draco seems sort of... intimidated by Lucius. While I can't be certain about whether there is a right or wrong Draco out there from Jo, I do think that both of our different interpretations are possible. Draco never really did show any spine, so yours is, in truth, the better one. :)
The comic book collection. That was a beautiful detail of yours. It lends a tone of, 'Hey, he may be gorgeous, but he's a nerd just like me.' Which I assure you I adore. The fact that he is kind and patient with the children is very telling of how Draco and Astoria raised him. He wasn't coddled or spoiled or cruel.
The Slytherin supporting cast is interesting. I would be interested in knowing who their parents are. Edgar, undoubtedly, is Greg Goyle's boy, but who is his mother? I sort of had an epiphany that it was Pansy, since first, that's who I married her to in my story, and second, because you described Orna once as pug-faced. Since he fancied Orna, I figured that she was like his mother. Most men don't like to admit it, but generally, they end up marrying a girl a lot like his mother. As for Nott and Willoughby, I would be interested in their parentage as well. Perhaps you could make a family tree of some sort as a supplement to your little universe.
Felix is an interesting idea. Training a Niffler would take an immense amount of patience, which makes me certain that Draco is an awesome father. Nobody would train a little destructo-bot like a Niffler without really caring that it was done properly. That's another detail about both Draco and Scorpius that I appreciate.
As for the Grangers, I really like the way you made them. Granddad Granger is just eccentric enough without being a total whackjob, and Nana Granger is just the right amount of sweet and doting, but ever the dentist, she plies the grandkids and company with sugar free snacks. The obsession with dentist crime novels was just too funny for words. Though I'm sure they're out there, I can't believe that Granddad Granger actually went out of his way to find them and amass such an... odd collection.
And last but not least, Harry. I freaking heart Harry so much, and I'm so happy that you made him the way you did. I tend to make the poor bloke miserable and tortured, but you made him content and not being chased by maniacs. I guess, in my mind, I need to know he's all right, or it just may rob me of sleep. He's caring and forgiving, since he's willing to assist Scorpius when it was obvious that the boy was looking for a way out of his family's pure-blooded xenophobia. Draco didn't have the stones to stand up to Lucius, but Scorpius did. I think Harry, and even Ron, respected him for that. I noticed the change in Ron's attitude toward Scorpius after Harry probably explained the Knights of Walpurgis thing.
I do have one small gripe, which I didn't notice (or know) the first time I read the story. Lorcan and Lysander are canonically mentioned to be twins, but you have one as a first-year and one as a fifth-year. Did you do that intentionally, or was it a little 'well, crap' moment? I had a few 'well, crap' moments in a good number of my fics that it took about three or four reads to realise that I'd done it, or even people pointing it out to me. I was just wondering whether it was intentional or not. Either way, it didn't bother me overly much, but now that I've tattooed my brain with canon, it was just something that jumped out at me.
Also, in the very first chapter (and I fail for not copy/pasting which line it was), you spell Phineas's last name as 'Finch' instead of 'Filch'. It was correct everywhere else, but it was just a typo that Word would have never picked up, a beta could easily overlook, and generally something that could go unnoticed quite a lot. I just figured you'd want to to know.
All in all, this is still an excellent story and high on my list of favourites. I look forward to reading the sequel, especially with the original fresh in my mind. You're a beautiful writer and storyteller, and I felt that my last review fell flat and that I wanted to properly convey what I like about the story and what I think when I read it.
Now that I have left a novel-length review, I shall bid you adieu, after which you shall think kindly of me instead of lamenting my terrible rhyme. I really loved reading your stuff, and again, I look forward to the future with your Rose and Scorpius.
Cheers and happy writing!
PS - Say hello to Courage for me. :D
Sometimes, there's a review so awesome, it's impossible to reply right away, because if you did, all you'd be able to type is WOW.
You're a SPEW member, so you might have seen that the "April Discussion" in the SPEW forum (over on the Beta Forums for anyone reading who doesn't know SPEW is a group dedicated to leaving positive, constructive reviews) is What Makes A Good Review? When I answer that, I'm going to include a link to this review, because I think it's a stellar example and worthy of a Reviewer of the Month award.
I think that's a vital quality of a good review. You read the story to enjoy it, and at the same time you notice the aspects that make it enjoyable. Characterization. Details. Dialogue. Plot. You give specific examples and explain why they struck you in a certain way. Feedback like that is a gift to writers. Instructors tell you "Write to be understood," and I believe writers want to do that in a deeper way than having readers comprehend their clear, simple language. There's a need for the story to resonate, for the characters to make an impact, and the protagonist to be identified with, and understood.
The concrit, too, is well done, sandwiched in between constructive praise. ;) I used the family tree Jo drew, which doesn't have birth dates, and took artistic license to make them different ages. By the time I realized they were twins, it was too late to do more than tell each reader who noticed, "Yes, I missed that, thank you for overlooking it." The Finch/Filch typo, though, wasn't in this story (I don't mention Phineas until chapter 3). It was in the "Lost" sequel's first chap. Someone on another site pointed it out, I quickly edited on MNFF as well, counting myself lucky no one had noticed, LOL.
I don't believe it's possible for a review to fall flat unless it's given in mean spirit. Even a simple update soon achieves its intent to encourage and put a smile on a writer's face. It's only negativity that fails to achieve its effect, because you can't keep a true writer from writing.
Thank you Jess for encouraging me to write better (and update soon, heh). I mean it about the forum thread, I may just post this reply. :D
PS - I said hi to Courage for you and gave him the hug I wish I could pass along to you!
Well, I finished this at last, and wanted to post just once more and let you know how much I enjoyed it. I loved how fiesty Ron and Hermione are (just as I imagine), but I unexpectedly find myself drawn to your characterization of Draco. It's very good, and very believable.
Thanks for including the road map to all the one-shots you wrote from different perspectives... I enjoyed those very much as well. One question: when Scorpious reentered, was Rose shaking because Draco had told her what happened with her parents in the drawing room? I was very interested in that, as I've drabbled a bit on the idea myself... what it must have been like when she learned what exactly went down, particularly if she cares for Scorpious, and even more particularly if she is at Malfoy Manor when that bomb is dropped. Just curious about how you envisioned it.
Thanks again for the great read. I'll be making my way through the rest of your stuff eventually. :)
Thank you for reading the story and telling me your thoughts and reactions in reviews! One of the many great things about fan fiction is you can write one shots from other characters' point of views to post along with the main story. That doesn't mean every reader will look them up, but I'm happy that you did, and that you like Draco's characterization!
I think it was a shock for Rose to find out what happened in the drawing room, that she could nod her understanding and not become angry--the person who hurt her mother is long dead, Draco's sincerely regretful, and her mother isn't holding a grudge against Scorpius about it--but while they sat calmly drinking tea, reaction set it, and Rose shook.
Is that how you imagined it, too? Do you have the drabble posted?
I love this line: "Dimples are for nice boys, not Slytherins." Very good line.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for liking that! Even liberal-minded Gryffindor girls can be guilty of judging by stereotypes. :)
I loved this fic! It was a pleasure to read because I'm a big fan of Next-Gen fics myself, especially Scorpius/Rose, which seems to have become fanon in a way JKR probably never expected. In the middle of all those stories, though, this one definitely stands alone as a classic - I see it recommended all the time on the Beta Boards, and I would say that people who don't have an understanding of Scorpius/Rose could do a lot worse than to start here. Your characterization of both of them is perfectly on point - I felt like I could see flashes of their parents shining through every once in while. I was a little confused by the ending, but I read it a second time and I could see that it was probably the best way to finish things off (here, at least!). All in all, a story I would not mind reading again at all - thanks so much for writing!
Thank you so much for saying you'd read the story again--that's the best compliment! :) I've written Draco/Ginny and I know many readers have shipped that or Draco/Hermione, so while I definitely wanted Scorpius to be Slytherin, I didn't want him (or Rose) to be an identical chip off the old block. I wanted them to be their own persons, so it means a lot that you just saw flashes of their parents.
I wish I could write a 24 chapter sequel, but I can't and finish original work, too, so I'll have to get my Scorose fix in one shots, and I hope you'll enjoy them too!
I still adore this story. Just curious if we had any ideas about the sequel? Just wondering.
Thank you so much for telling me that! I pinky promise, by Merlin's beard, that I intended to write a chapter fic sequel after a short break for NaNoWriMo and to finish a long overdue R/T story. After soul-searching, though, I had to face that if I write another chapter fic, like last year, I won't work on original stories, and I'll be no closer to having anything with my name on it published.
Since I love Scorpius and Rose, and their adventures are just beginning, I've decided to write a series of one shots. It won't be the same, but I'll make them worth the wait. :)
I love love love this story!!! I really really cant wait for the sequel!! :) Maybe a christmas gift for all your readers?? LOL :) But seriosly! This story is fab! Cant wait for more! You're a wonderful writer!
Author's Response: Merry Christmas, Meghan! Thank you for loving the story and saying you can't wait for the sequel. I do have one planned, I just have to finish the last two chapters of another WIP first. Wish me luck! :)
Is it possible that I've finally found a WELL written fic?
I'm excited to see where this goes; keep up the good work!
I can't believe I didn't see this before. Thank you for lovely compliment, and I'm sure the answer will be a resounding (and very jolly) yes. ;)
Any news on a sequel yet??
I've written down ideas, and I'm thinking about another one shot to transition. I probably won't be able to start posting until mid December, though. I got inspired to do NaNoWriMo and I have to finish my current R/T story. Marines say never leave a man behind. I say never leave a fic unfinished!
Thank you for asking!
raddish earrings!!!!! :D
Author's Response: Those would be lovely...unless they were real raddishes, and then they'd be rotten, if Auntie Luna didn't preserve them with a spell. :D