I have always loved that myth, I even have that book Lily was reading! This was really creative, I had never thought of this situation that way, but it makes sense: a stag and two "dogs" all fighting. Your take on it was really fun to read, the dialogue was good, and it was just the right mix of fluff, fun, and siriousness. Great job! :)
Alright, I have to admit, the reason I read this story was because of the title. I'm really into Artemis and Greek Mythology in general. (I would have chosen her as my pen name, but there were just too many Artemises already). I loved, loved, loved how you incorporated Greek Mythology into your story, I've been thinking of doing something like this for a while now. However, don't you think Lily would be a bit old for D'Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths? It's basically a picture book; I was already too old for it in Fifth Grade. Also, it was published in/around 1992. A better candidate could have been Bulfinch's Greek and Roman Mythology, though I'm not sure when that was released. Loved the idea of Lily as Artemis, they do have a lot of similarities. ~Olivia
this was incredible!!!!!!
Author's Response: Thanks!!!!!!
I love the way you wove the greek myth into this story. This fic was so well-written--especially the dream. The repetition of "or was it James"? was really good.
I like that you show James as having actually changed in that he'll help Snape...but having not changed in the good aspects of his personality.
The artemis parallel ties the story together beautifully. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review, and the compliments to my writing! I'm so glad the myth ended up fitting so well, and that you enjoyed it.
i love it so much when people rememeber that James (or anyone, for that matter) isn't supposed to change himself to fit Lily. He already did, she just had some prejudices.
so - good job!
Author's Response: I have the same pet peeve about Lily/James stories, so I was very careful to make James be thoroughly himself. Thank you for noticing, and reviewing!
I don't like James/Lily fics, usually, but I couldn't resist the Greek mythology reference, and the fact that you wrote it. I really liked the way you worked the myth of Artemis and Acteon into this story.
Lily's characterization didn't quite ring true to me, as her reactions and her change of heart seemed a bit too abrupt, and I didn't quite buy her running back into the castle to curl up and sleep if she really thought she'd just cursed James. Also, James seemed to change a little too quickly as well (though with a one-shot, it's hard to show a lot of character development over time).
Despite these criticisms (I think you would have done a splendid job handling their development if you'd written this as a longer story), I think this was well-written and put an original twist on what would have otherwise been a fairly cliched story. The romantic bits were done well, and Lily and James were both three-dimensional.
I think, from this story and from Challah and Pumpkin Juice, that you could write a really good romance if you decided to try your hand at a more mature, multi-chaptered fic.
Author's Response: All of your criticisms were totally valid (actually, I got a lot of the same from my betas), and I'm glad that you pointed them out - I'm always trying to improve. Lily's characterization was probably the hardest thing for me to get right, because I had to make her fit into the myth. And I am very aware that Lily's mood changes were unrealistically abrupt, but, as you said, one-shots make development difficult. As for writing any more romance, I don't think I'm quite ready. The fact that this fic took about half a year to perfect makes me cautious about trying anything along that vein for a while.
What a fantastic story. I love the way you've incorporated the Greek myth in it. And Lily's line: Maybe Artemis didn’t mean to be so cruel… is a masterstroke. Mary is portrayed well, although it's a small part, I felt a good connection to her, as someone that Lily would have trusted. I thought Sirius nicking all the bacon was very funny - I do hope she got her own back.
I have a few minor - eeeny weeny nitpics. Firstly, it should be Defence not Defense because they're at school in Britain and secondly, Mary's surname is actually Macdonald without the capital D. Really, really nitpicky of me to mention it, in what was otherwise a wonderful story and a great read. I hope to see a lot more.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your wonderful review!! I'm glad you enjoyed my portrayal of Mary and Sirius - this is the first fic I've written with canon characters, so it was a challenge to keep them from getting OOC. I'll go fix Mary's surname right now. As for changing 'defense' to 'defence,' I'm still internally debating it, because J.K. actually spells it the American way in the American versions (which are the ones I've always read). Anyway, I feel kind of fake when I use British spellings in my writing, since I'm American. But I haven't decided yet; I may very well change my mind tomorrow. Thanks again for taking the time to read and review!