This sounds intriguing. I hope you continue the story. I am a little confused about the third person narrative being injected with a sudden first person view. Are we Hermione? Or is this a narrative?
Author's Response: Thank you for your compliment! In response to your question, I tried to format it the best that I can the way JK Rowling does it. For example, in the Harry Potter books, she doesn't use "I" with Harry, but rather she tells the story through Harry without going into first person. Yes, this story is in Hermione's point of view, but it's not in first person. If I haven't answered your question thoroughly enough, just let me know.
"Remember you mission". You have a misspelling it should your. Other than that it was a really good chapter and add a new chapter to it. You have a very good start to your story.