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Name: xiaojun (Signed) · Date: 05/27/17 12:39 · For: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English
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Name: FinestCarpet (Signed) · Date: 02/21/17 23:45 · For: Screws Fall Out All the Time; the World's an Imperfect Place
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Name: Ranaa (Signed) · Date: 04/26/16 19:51 · For: Screws Fall Out All the Time; the World's an Imperfect Place
Wow this is crazy. 5 years ago, I read Twenty Things That Make the World Go Round and was absolutely blown away. I was a totally different person then, but I still remember how much I fell in love with Kata. I've been searching for twenty things for over a week, and up until last week, I only remembered the barest glimmers of the story, and some oddly specific details that were of no help whatsoever lol (I remembered that Kata wore a pair of 'ratty purple converse with graffiti all over them' lmao). Now that I've finally found it, I just wanted to let you know that it is a truly amazing start for a story. Truly amazing. At one point I started tearing up. Are you ever planning on updating? I hope this message reaches you in good health and that you are well.

There's no pressure or anything, I really just wanted to let you know that you are super talented, and that you have a fan in me :)

Have a great one!


Name: Rainy2000 (Signed) · Date: 06/02/12 17:30 · For: Screws Fall Out All the Time; the World's an Imperfect Place
AMAZING!! please update! The suspense is killing me! Worthy of j.k Rowling


Name: Rainy2000 (Signed) · Date: 06/01/12 19:38 · For: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English
This story is amazing! It's so captivating! Not all like any othe "Harry has a sister blah blah blah". Once you star you can't stop! Waiting eagerly for the next chapter!


Name: HermionesLittleSister (Signed) · Date: 02/29/12 4:28 · For: Screws Fall Out All the Time; the World's an Imperfect Place
I'm really enjoying this story! It can be confusing at times, but also kinda funny :)
Update soon!
-Livie

Author's Response: Thanks! I know it can be confusing, particularly the way I've dealt with merging then canon and alternate universes (this is what confuses most people, although of course I have no idea what specifically confuses you). Anyway, an update will come faster than they normally do.


Name: LifeAtRandom (Signed) · Date: 02/10/12 15:41 · For: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English
This story is very well done. It has a truly unique voice from anything I've read, Kata is interesting, and the humor is spot on. I laughed so hard at "What the hell is a Hufflepuff".

That being said, I have two criticisms to offer. First, from the very beginning of the story the tone feels very American instead of British. From the way they talk to the mention of American figures like Lincoln (I think Churchill's name would more likely be dropped).

Second, imo the story itself doesn't really fit within the Potter universe. It's tone is way too different from Rowling's world. I'm not saying that fic writers should always match Rowling's style, but I don't think it's a good idea to deviate to where the fic sounds so different it seems like you came up with a story from an entirely different genre and then awkwardly squeezed it into the Potter verse. It doesn't help that it's been more than several chapters and the only vague connection to canon has been a few mentions of Harry.

Anyway, that's just my opinion, it's the one huge problem that has kept me from really liking this story,

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I fully agree with both criticisms-- I'm American, and I tend to think Americanly. The first five or six chapters show a lot of evidence of this, and then I think my British grammar improves a bit. As for the the story not fitting in the Potterverse, you're also right. In the future Kata-centric fics that I've considred writing (still thinking about whether I want to do this), there would be a very different tone and setting. When I originally planned the "series", I wanted TTTMTWGR to stand apart from the rest. But I promise that there are some magical connections coming shortly-- the plot does have to wrap up with Harry.


Name: kathanater88 (Signed) · Date: 02/07/12 0:18 · For: Screws Fall Out All the Time; the World's an Imperfect Place
Hi Eva!

I just wanted to tell you that I think you're doing a fantastic job with this story. Kata's character is so well-rounded; like a true person. She is very human, and I think that is the basis of any good writing. So, keep up the good work! I also love her name- mostly because my name is Katha and when I was growing up everyone called me Kata :). Did you mention you made a Facebook for her, because I couldn't find it.
Anyway, cheers, really looking forward to the next bit, Don't be too long!

Katha

Author's Response: Hi, Katha! So great to hear from you, I love any and all feedback and I ALWAYS love hearing good things about Kata. The next chapter is definitely in the works, but it's very long and complicated, because I need to begin tying up loose ends... meh. Anyway, yeah, Kata has a Facebook-- I'm pretty sure she's registered as Katarine Potter. I have plans to use to Facebook for my plot-related things if I continue with the rest of the Kata "books", but for now it's just cute. Thanks again, and I'm working as fast as I can! -Eva


Name: Ginnypotter2699 (Signed) · Date: 02/01/12 5:50 · For: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English
I just started liking AU so I might continue to read this. Anyway, I liked the first chapter. :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I encourage you to keep going, because the first few chapters were written a couple years ago, and the quality of the writing gets so much better.


Name: Simply Being (Signed) · Date: 06/28/11 10:16 · For: Aaron's Personality Flaws, and a Couple of Mine
Hello,

I’m back, reviewing for SPEW!

I really liked Kata’s opening discourse on magic. It not only works because its interesting to read and think about, but also continues to establish Kata as a three dimensional character. It shows her complex emotions regarding the subject and demonstrates the great insight that she has. Not only is Kata more fully formed for this, but she is also more realistic and human. This is how it works in real life, as people don’t usually have black and white feelings. I can tell that you’ve thought about Kata’s characterization and that you are trying to make her a fully human character, rather than a simple cardboard cutout.

Also, I know that I mentioned this in the first review, but I am put off by the American references. As a fellow American, I’m not an expert on this but I’m not sure if the British would have “Hello Kitty stickers” and “hot dogs”. The phrases “young grasshopper” and “crap” also stood out. I’ve also noticed a lack of British slang. I know how hard it is to try to write with British spelling and grammar, and especially how uncomfortable it is to include British colloquialisms. However, I find that simply slipping in a few “git”s or “prat”s can make all the difference. As I said, Americanisms can really distract a reader (especially a British reader) and take them out of the story.

Something else that seemed out of place was the mention of the diner with her friends. This raises several questions that aren’t given answers. I’m hoping that there will be an answer in the next few chapters. I don’t mind a slow developing story, but it is nagging at me. First, in the series it is hammered in over and over again that Harry doesn’t have any friends, any money, and is basically prevented from doing anything with the Dursleys. In the first few books he rarely leaves the house. Granted, by the fifth book he leaves without much argument from the Dursleys, but he usually just wanders aimlessly. So why does Kata have friends? Where does she get the money to go places? Are the Dursleys alright with her wandering around? I know this is an alternative universe story basically, so perhaps the Dursleys are more lenient. But I am very interesting to know why Kata has friends when Dudley clearly kept them away from Harry, and why she seems to have much more freedom than he has. Right now it isn’t a flaw in the story, but it will be if it isn’t adequately explained in future chapters.

That being said, I did like the new characters who were introduced. Their banter was sharp and witty, and reminded me of some of the funny and light-hearted moments in the series. Incorporating moments of humor into dramatic storylines lightens up the story and makes it a more interesting read.

Another aspect of note is Kata’s interest in religion. I was surprised at first, but it does make sense. She’s searching for answers as to where she belongs, and people often look towards religion for them. You’ve introduced another deeper aspect to the story, again making it a deeper and more interesting narrative.

While I like this new dimension and I hope you keep up with it, I feel like the story itself is slowing down a little. Maybe I’m used to the dramatic storylines of the series and in most fanfiction, but it feels a little slow. The assignment is interesting, but I worry that there isn’t enough action to keep the story’s momentum.

I also enjoyed the last lines. Mr. Millerton’s flower is a beautiful metaphor for Kata. It was very nicely phrased and I also liked Kata’s confusion about it. It helps remind readers that even though she is very quick-witted and insightful (such as her banter with Jeremy’s father, which appears advanced for a ten year old) she doesn’t have the answers to everything.

So in summary, I’m really enjoying the OC that you’ve created. She’s three dimensional and human, and she’s witty but sometimes rude. On the other hand, the Americanisms and unanswered questions take me out of the story. And while I appreciate character studies (Kata’s attempts to “find herself”, so to speak) the story definitely felt like it was slowing down. I hope that the plot picks up a little, as a full-length story that simply revolves around character studies can grow a bit weary.

Hope you found this helpful,
Danielle


Name: Simply Being (Signed) · Date: 06/23/11 14:11 · For: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English
Hello,
I’m Danielle and I’m reviewing this for SPEW, so here we go! I’m usually not into “Harry has a sibling” fics, but this one caught my eye.

You had a really, really strong opening (“Who told you that heroes have to be brave?” ). I’m a sucker for great opening lines, and this one was perfect. It caught my attention immediately. It’s a strong statement, and the paradox of it kept me reading.

“…and it’s been in my head ever since—like a scrap of a song you hear once, pouring from the windows of a passing car, but never again. I remember how the words touched me, how I grabbed for them with hands that had been desperately searching for something, anything, to grab. Her simple question, shattering the directives of everything I’d been raised to believe, seemed to glow; to shine like glass; golden as brandy.”

I love the imagery and metaphors contained within this paragraph. They aren’t overdone or cliché, and they’re beautifully phrased. Sometimes metaphors can be hollow, and they don’t quite ring true. This paragraph works so well because its insightful; it allows me to understand how Kata feels.

Now, this next bit is very interesting. I’ve never seen an author interject a character’s monologue to the readers in the story like this, and it’s very interesting that you set it apart in parenthesis. I think that this is actually very clever. Parentheses are reserved for little side notes and additions in writing, and that’s exactly what this monologue is. I’m glad you went for this instead of italics, they can be overused and usually make the reader think that the italicized passage is a flashback.

I have mixed feelings about Kata’s little introduction of herself. At first, when she began listing her qualities, it felt Mary-Sue to me. Mary-Sues are typically introduced in this fashion, such as, “Hi my name is Crystal Diamond Rainbow and I have shiny platinum blond hair, beautiful blue eyes, and everyone loves me.” However, when I reached the end of Kata’s little introduction I realized that this was not the case. It’s merely her quirkiness as a character. There are also a couple of phrases that I genuinely laughed at, for instance:

“…my hair is so unmanageable that if it does not try to kill me at least once every week, I grow suspicious that it may be planning something much more sinister.”

“On the list of ‘important people in this story’ Harry ranks in at number twenty-seven. I know. I have made such a list—for the record, I’m number three. But, to the point: if you’re looking for a story about a plucky, bespectacled young lad with “moral fiber” a scar that looks like Zorro screwed up his signature, then go somewhere else. This is the last time I’ll ever use the phrase ‘moral fiber’, unless I’m describing, 1. A breakfast cereal, 2. A really cool name for a band, or 3. Abraham Lincoln. Just thought I ought to clear that up. End of parenthetical rant.)”

These lines definitely made me laugh! Though very witty, as a small criticism it sounds much more American than British. I’m typically not big on Briticisms, but the references to Zorro and Abraham Lincoln seem distinctly American. I’m not an expert, but they stood out in a more negative way for me.

Moving on, this sentence blew me away:

“What you’re about to hear is only the first part of the very long, very complicated saga that is my life. Be warned, I will unabashedly bear all—you will see me break down, break apart, break bones, break hearts, be broken, and break through this hideous stigma that you need to be fearless to be important.”

Fantastic! Love the use of alliteration and play on words. Again, it really piqued my interest in the character and the ending statement (“you need to be fearless to be important”) is really intriguing. You have firmly established Kata as a witty and quirky girl, the kind of three-dimensional character whose virtues and flaws are equally endearing.

I did think that the next bit about Kata beginning her story was a bit unnecessary. I think that the story itself doesn’t need introduction, and it would be fine to launch right into it. Admittedly, I did skim over that bit a little. You built up great momentum with introducing Kata, and this slowed it down.

I found the exchange between Kata and her teacher amusing; it was both witty and helped establish her personality. She may not be the most obedient kid, but her sarcasm sure is funny. And though I love her witty humor, another problem arises with it. Kata is supposed to be ten. Much of this witty dialogue and advanced vocabulary seems advanced for her. I’m going to assume that she’s a kid with an extremely high IQ. However, it definitely feels unrealistic. While it’s not exactly fun to read a fic centered around dumb-as-a-rock characters, she doesn’t seem to be acting her age. I have an eleven year old sister who is still entertained by burp jokes. It’s quite a dilemma: on one hand, no one wants to read about an immature ten year old, but on the other, a ten year old this witty is very rare. Personally, I’d rather read about the latter and suspend reality.

I also ended up really liking the teacher when I didn’t expect to. He’s the right amount of inspirational and cheeky. I particularly enjoyed his characterization in this paragraph:

“Next year, you will all break apart,” Mr. Mendota began. “Some of you will stay in town, go to the upper school. Some of you will go away. In my class, I want to prepare you for the world. This is where you make a decision to learn. I want to see what you can do. What Alec can do. ” He gestured to the boy with the pudding-bowl haircut who enjoys sticking me with a pencil and hissing, Poke a Potter. “What Winnie can do.” Mr. Mendota waved a hand to Winnie, with her six little ringlet curls and eager mud-brown eyes. “What… er, Sherrie can do.”

The assignment is definitely interesting as well. I really enjoyed this character, and I’m excited to learn more about her and exactly how this whole “Harry has a sister” thing works. Good work!

-Danielle


Name: georgeisholey (Signed) · Date: 06/08/11 19:45 · For: If You've Ever Listened to Anything I've Said, Now Is... Also a Good Time
Well. This ten-year-old girl fascinates me. I can identify with her and sympathize with her "aloneness". Maybe that's because mentally, I am ten, or maybe it's because I'm essentially like her in personality. I have friends, but nobody really... gets me. Which is why I write. I really, really, REALLY love this story. It's funny, the characters are original, and your interpretation of Little Whinging and all its residents is wonderful. It's great! :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! A lot of people are saying they understand Kata, which is-- while a little unexpected-- absolutely fantastic. So keep reading; school's out in my neck of the woods and I've got a lot more time to write. Chapter 12 is coming soon :) ~*Eva*~


Name: grangergirl35 (Signed) · Date: 06/07/11 11:52 · For: If You've Ever Listened to Anything I've Said, Now Is... Also a Good Time
Yah, this story is soooo freakin' amazing!! Keep writing, update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks! Chapter twelve is where the fun really starts (Teaser: the authorities get involved), so I'll do my best to get it up quicker than I usually do. Thanks for reading. ~*Eva*~


Name: grangergirl35 (Signed) · Date: 06/06/11 22:56 · For: If You've Ever Listened to Anything I've Said, Now Is... Also a Good Time
What the he'll is a hufflepuff??

FIND :)

I think that second point earns the awesome mug?

Author's Response: Yes, indeed it does. I can't actually ask for you contact info, for various legal reasons that probably exist, but you get bragging rights. Congradualtions, and thanks for taking the time to read! :) ~*Eva*~


Name: lunaginnypotterw (Signed) · Date: 03/18/11 14:33 · For: More Complicated Feelings I SERIOUSLY Could Have Done Without
hahah i love ur story and im from the uk so yea theyr totaly real u a tree i was an elf and i fell of and rolled down the stairs and well i awoke on christmas day so yea i love the cliffhanger by the and also i love the names.


Name: lunaginnypotterw (Signed) · Date: 03/11/11 17:46 · For: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English
ohhhhhh yea i was worring this wasen't HP fanfic but yayayayaya


Name: dcdc (Signed) · Date: 03/11/11 5:10 · For: The Car Crashes and Broken Bones That Change Our Lives
Another excellent chapter. Kata is a very intriguing character. I look forward to the next one.

Author's Response: She most certainly is. Thanks for your review! ~Eva~


Name: Darkness Enshrouds (Signed) · Date: 03/09/11 12:29 · For: The Car Crashes and Broken Bones That Change Our Lives
I wouldn't rewrite the first chapters, if I were you. They're wonderful, and I'm not just saying that to be nice. I really like this fic--I always glance over the 'most recent' section, and your title hooked me in, and once I read the description, I knew I had to read it...so glad I did!

Kata's amazing. I love her personality, especially that snarky-sarcastic streak she's got going. I totally understand her on that point, being a bit like that myself. I love the way you've intertwined bits from the actual books, but still from Kata's p.o.v.--it just proves how well this fic fits with the books. I love it :D. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Garsh, I'm smiling so big now, I feel like a dork... I just love reviews like that. The only reason I'm thinking about reworking the first few chapters is that-- because certain chapters have taken a while to be uploaded-- my writing style has changed a lot over the coarse of this story. Which I'm sure you noticed. But nothing would change, plot-wise, because I actually am going somewhere with all this nonsense... I swear I am... Kata's smiling, too. This is because she's ten, and doesn't understand the difference between 'that reader thinks I'm amazing' and 'I am the coolest thing in the universe'. :) My goal is to get chapter eleven up by the end of the month, so keep readin'! ~Eva~


Name: Potterfan1996 (Signed) · Date: 03/08/11 5:06 · For: The Car Crashes and Broken Bones That Change Our Lives
Are you an AVPS fan??? 'Umbridge that book is a thousand years old, it still refers to Dementors as Ringwraiths' Anyway I love the story please review soon
Potterfan1996

Author's Response: Haha, I'm a huge fan of both AVPM and AVPS, but Kata's "Great Ringwraiths vs. Dementors Debate of '93" is an actual thing that I've written in her third book. Being a Lord of the Rings fan, she's going to go through a lot of mix-ups in her wizarding adventures...Mix-ups that will make sense to no one but her. There is an AVPS reference in the next chapter, though... so keep reading, hopefully I'll have that one up within the next few weeks. Thanks for your review! ~Eva~


Name: dcdc (Signed) · Date: 08/14/10 4:34 · For: Memoirs of The Girl Who Technically Lived
I'm enjoying this. Keep writing!


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