Reviews For The Family Pearl
Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 07/02/12 20:41
Chapter: The Family Pearl

How sad! Narcissa could have decided that she was a person who loved her family, but I suppose she was so empty and effected by the war that she just lost her way... Great poem! J love the rhyme. :)

Author's Response: Okay, I just re-read this poem since I didn't remember it from so long ago. Thanks for the review and reminding me that I'd written this.

Reviewer: Cirelondiel
Date: 02/28/09 7:32
Chapter: The Family Pearl

This poem has had over a hundred reads, but not one review? How sad. I thought it was really quite good, and an interesting take on Narcissa.

I liked the simple rhyme scheme - as if she was, as you said the summary, simply contemplating, stripping away her life to a brief summary. The first two lines in particular were my favourites, capturing the essence of the whole poem in just a few words:

When I was a little girl,
I was the family pearl.

I love the simplicity of those lines. I was a bit confused by the line that soon followed, though - 'it was sad to see' everyone loving her. I can understand Narcissa's view of her childhood changing as she got older, but I'm not sure who you meant would be saddened by seeing her doted upon...

The repetition of the second stanza later in the poem was really effective in emphasising the importance of its meaning and tying the whole poem together.

The poem mostly flowed well, but I felt that these two lines were too short compared to the rest, and disrupted the rhythm: 

Her life is gone,
And yet I live on.

I also think that the word 'suppose' might work better in this line:

I guess I won the fight,

'I guess' sounds a bit informal to me, and a two-syllable word would make the line fit in with the rhythm of the poem better too. The use of 'fight' also seemed strange as you hadn't spoken of any conflict or battle for attention between the siblings. Or maybe you were referring to a general battle for survival, and Narcissa was the only one who came out with her family and her life? Hmm.

Overall, a nice simple poem that really captured a Narcissa who sees herself as nothing special, just lucky. Nice job :)

-- Chelsea

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
Not From Others by FloreatCastellum 6th-7th Years
She may not have been able to join Harry, Ron and Hermione, but Ginny refuses...
A Seer Named Rosemary Snape by PlutoLovegood 1st-2nd Years
In 2018 Neville and Harry deliver a Hogwarts acceptance letter to Rosemary Snape...
Gelido Dormitabis (An Icy Slumber) by Nagini Riddle 3rd-5th Years
A poetic look at the oppressive sleep of the Inferi within the icy cave.Written...
A Christmas Choice by coolh5000 3rd-5th Years
After working late one Christmas Eve and missing yet another day out with his...
Winter at the Castle by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
The winter solstice, the shortest, harshest days of the year. Would you have...
A Passing Fancy by HalfASlug 1st-2nd Years
The Yule Ball is on the horizon and Neville knows only one girl that he wants...
Four Christmases by Squibstress 6th-7th Years
Minerva attempts to teach Severus Occlumency and perhaps something more.