Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 01/21/09 12:54
Chapter: Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire

I love this! You have perfectly captured a moment after the prequel. Well done and so original. Your characterisation of the Marauders is, as ever, perfect. And you know how much I like my Marauders. Lily and Albus were good too. James and Sirius don't quite realise how much trouble they're in, do they?

As Sirius walked out of the kitchen, James pulled Lily into his arms. He knew her fears were justified. The sad part was, there was nothing he could say or do to alleviate her fears. Working for the Order was dangerous, just as it was the right thing to do, and he planned on continuing. This line just about says it all. It stopped me smiling because I remembered that they were working in a dangeous world.

Okay two nit picks. One, I'm afraid, is a pet peeve, so feel free to ignore.

So that’s why we haven’t gotten an owl from the Ministry yet.

'Gotten' is very much an American word. We don't use it in Britland and Sirius certainly wouldn't have used it in that era.

When we the two of you realise you are not invincible?

I think you mean 'will' not 'we'.

Minor, minor quibbles in a wonderful story. Are we going to get an insight into Wormtail's betrayal? Or will we find out why Sirius and Remus mistrusted each other?

Carole xxx

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 01/21/09 12:39
Chapter: The Disappearance

Good chapter. I can picture everything that is happening as if I was there.

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 01/16/09 19:05
Chapter: Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire

The beginning is good. I shall be looking forward to reading more.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
MOST RECENT
Wheelbarrow by BrokenPromise 1st-2nd Years
Frank Bryce remembers his brother.
Love, Lily by dmbw7052 1st-2nd Years
A collection of letters from Lily to SiriusThis was written when I saw it was...
All This Waiting For The Sky To Fall by Dawnie 1st-2nd Years
They found her body - broken, bleeding, face filled with signs of pain and fear...
FEATURED
When Saints Die, The World Stops Spinning by forsakenphoenix 1st-2nd Years
Hope, loyalty, love, despair, and tragedy. Through it all, Lily discovers the...
The Seven Potters by Gmariam 1st-2nd Years
Harry is about to leave the Burrow for the final time when his six doppelgangers...
Doubt by lucca4 3rd-5th Years
In the midst of the war, the Marauders and Lily have joined the Order, resolute...
Rest In The Bed by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
"This is the last night I will spend in our flat. I have spent sixty-nine nights...
Marriage and Other Matters by Acacia Carter 3rd-5th Years
All Augusta wanted to do was apologise, but the minute she opened her mouth...
Chased by Daylight by iLuna17 3rd-5th Years
In the morning, she knows he'll never be there. This is for Maple, as a...
When You Think of Umbridge by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
How Umbridge sees herself and wants to be seen - a speculation in prose poem...
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables by The_Real_Hermione 3rd-5th Years
In November 1981, Remus Lupin returns to the headquarters of the Order of the...
CATEGORIES