This is an extraordinary story. I think everyone that reads the Harry Potter books feels like Ellie. We all long to do magic too (How many of you out there waited for your Hogwarts letter?), but for us poor Muggles it will never happen.
You know something, it really made me feel sorry for poor old Petunia having Lily as a sister.
I adored this line:
She has long, pin-straight, midnight-black hair, which shines and shimmers constantly with never a hair out of place. At Christmas time, when we were younger, she used to make fairy lights appear in her hair, using her magic. It sounds cheesy, but it truly made her hair look like a dark night sky, with the stars shining clearly, lighting up the world. Oh, I'd love to have hair like that. You've managed to give Marie, Mary-Sue type looks but in a totally non-Mary-Sue way. We don't see much of Marie, but we don't like her much.
Well I've been trying to find nit picks but I can't. This is a lovely tale.
Congratulations on your first validation; the first of many, I'm sure.
Author's Response: Haha, you know, my cousin used to read Harry Potter. And when he turned eleven, I sent him a letter that he had got into Hogwarts. But he saw right through it :( I used the wrong colour ink.. [sighs]
You know, I must say, I've always felt extreemly sorry for Petunia. It isn't any wonder she ened up the way she did.
Thank you :) I was pretty proud of my discription in this story, actually. So I think that was my favourite part too :).
Thank you :) -Lex
YAY! I'm glad you got a story validated.
Other than that, I loved it. I think the idea is wonderful, and the tone is very sincere. Excellent job.
..................but I still win.
Author's Response: Thank you :) I apreciate your love. Lol. I'm very glad you like it.. but... uh... I win. Sorry. -Lex
Awwwwwwwwwwwww. That was cute Lexy. Jealousy is an evil thing, but Ben has a point.
And Marie was a bit snobbish. She thought that since she could do something special and was the prettiest that she was the best.
Author's Response: Yes, Al. Jealousy is bad. Never submitt to it.
Like, ever. Or you will pay for it later. Uhuh
Thank you very much for liking and reveiwing :) -Lex
What a lovely piece! All the while, I thought about Petunia and Lily, and how Petunia couldn't accept things the way Ellie can...or will. Well Done!
Author's Response: Yay! Lol. Wow. Uh, you know. I absolutly never thought of that. But now you mentioned it, it does seem to be that way. Haha. Thank you for pointing that out, Lisi. Lol. Maybe I should have taken inspiration from them?
Guess it's too late for that now.. Lol. -Lexy
That was lovely, Lexy. I was so drawn into the story - kind of disappointing when it ended :(
First off - that dream caught me. It really reflected the mood, how the sky changed so quickly, and the images whooshing through her brain kept being interrupted by the insistence that she get up.
Marie. Urgh. I was in Ellie’s shoes the whole time when they were together. Scribbling on her homework!? If it were me, I would’ve lost my rag, but I suppose Ellie is used to it.
Ben’s character intrigued me the most. His calmness was mystifying, but he is a great person to put by Ellie’s side. The perfect brother.
The beginning was excellent. I knew what it meant straight away, but it was the greatest start note. And the end. The lack of dialogue tags there was effective - I could imagine the firmness in the last statement, but all the other emotions too. Also, the reactions, etc, were there, in my imagination. I loved that you left those little things to the mind.
Where had it gone to? - I don’t think ‘to’ is necessary to the question.
Excellent first story, honey.
Author's Response: [Squishes] Yay! I was just about to PM you. Haha. But you beat me to it.
I liked the dream to :) So thank you. Lol. A few people thought I should change it a bit keep the dreams and reality seperate, to make it clearer, but I liked it this way :).
Marie. Ew. Lol. I don't like her much either. Actually, I based her off of my own sister, back when we were little. Except, she was nowhere near as bad as Marie...
Yeah. Lol. Ben is exactly what I would want as a brother, I must say. Although he proberbly is a slight Gary-Stu. >.>
I'll just go change that line. Lol. Thank you so much for the amazing reveiw :) And thank you for all the lovely complements! :) -Lexy
WOW. that was the best general fic story I've ever read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marie doesn't deserve magic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Wow. Yay. Thanks for such a big compliment! Aha. And thank you, I know I'm magical really... just a couple of years overdue >.< But thank you :) Lol. -Lexy
I like the story. But I'd still hate Marie
Author's Response: Haha, thank you very much. And no, I must say, I wasn't particularly fon of her myself. But I guess that's a compliment then, as she wasn't ment to be liked :) Yay! Aha. -Lexy
i loved this first chapter. I feel that this is going to be one of my favorite stories. Can't wait for the next chapter
Author's Response: Yay! My first reveiw! Thank you very much :) I'm so glad that you like my story, but I'm afraid to say that it's finished. It's a oneshot! Aha. However, if I ever do manage to get my chaptered fic validated, then you can always read them instead! ;) -Lexy