Reviewer: ink_daughter
Date: 01/12/09 10:28
Chapter: Chapter 1

This was interesting! I really enjoyed reading this. It's nice to see something as original as this every once in a while. ;)

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad that you liked it. I have no idea where the idea came from, except Fenrir Greyback...

Reviewer: weasleywannabe47
Date: 01/08/09 18:11
Chapter: Chapter 1

~~~Nitpicks:
I examined my body, and then almost vomited up whatever I had eaten last.
-This sentence sounds as though a small child is talking. I would cut it off, starting at "whatever."

My life had just spiraled down the loo.
Again, this sounds as though a small child is speaking. As Romilda is shown to be a very controlling person, 'out of control' would suit her more.

and my middle fingers were a tad longer than I’d remembered.
-Are you actually speaking of the finger or the nail? If you are talking about the nails, then, it's normal.
But if the finger itself, it's a tad weird. You might want to say 'all my fingers' or cut that out completely.

Light was good.
-What kind of 'light' are you talking about? Are you saying light was good in the situation, or just saying light in itself was good?

The language was unnecessary.

But all of that was just me. :)



~~~~Review:
It was dark again.
-I like this sentence. It shows how dark Romilda's world is truly becoming, and how it will always seem so dark. Good description.
This story was very well written. Romilda didn't venture too far out of character, and you portrayed her as what she is: a lonely teenager.

Excellent story! Write more, please.
It would make a brilliant chaptered fic.

~~~~Spam:
I now ship Romilda/Geoffery.

Bye,
Wes....who is a girl.

Author's Response: Okay, I was researching lycanthropy, and the long middle finger-thing was a common symptom. I know it doesn't really fit and it wasn't in the books, but it was interesting, so I added it in. 'Light was good.'-Romilda is a bit freaked out about the message on the bedpost, and in the suspense, she wasn't thinking straight. Most teenage girls do such. (So yeah, in the situation.) I'm glad you liked the story, though. I wrote the first rough drafts of it about two years ago. The dream was the most fun to write, definitely. (Personally, my dreams never make any sense.) I always pictured Geoffrey as thirty or forty years old... Creepy, but whatever. Thanks for reviewing! -Halle

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Unexploded Bombs by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Dudley Dursley has just experienced the death of his elderly father Vernon from...
Ginny's Big Decision by dg04 1st-2nd Years
After Dumbledore's Funeral, Harry tells Ginny that they can't be together anymore...
Little Lions by SexY_LydZ 6th-7th Years
On a stormy October evening, a letter, a late night trip to the library and...
FEATURED
Going Against Salazar's Grain by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
"Sometimes," said Dumbledore, "we sort too soon." Originally writtten for...
Whispers in the Night by lucca4 6th-7th Years
"Swear to me, Cissy. Swear you won't tell." It's a secret, and it haunts...
Fear and Loathing in Florida (Mostly Loathing) by minnabird 3rd-5th Years
Scabior and Greyback had to escape the Aurors somehow - they just hadn't expected...
Just Before Healing by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
With Hannah, things always go to yellow.
In Bloom by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
It figures that he ignores the other side of roses. Thorns fit to draw blood...
Magical by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ginny and her brothers sneak down the stairs to look at presents, but instead...
CATEGORIES