MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: ink_daughter (Signed) · Date: 01/12/09 10:28 · For: Chapter 1
This was interesting! I really enjoyed reading this. It's nice to see something as original as this every once in a while. ;)

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad that you liked it. I have no idea where the idea came from, except Fenrir Greyback...

Name: weasleywannabe47 (Signed) · Date: 01/08/09 18:11 · For: Chapter 1
I examined my body, and then almost vomited up whatever I had eaten last.
-This sentence sounds as though a small child is talking. I would cut it off, starting at "whatever."

My life had just spiraled down the loo.
Again, this sounds as though a small child is speaking. As Romilda is shown to be a very controlling person, 'out of control' would suit her more.

and my middle fingers were a tad longer than I’d remembered.
-Are you actually speaking of the finger or the nail? If you are talking about the nails, then, it's normal.
But if the finger itself, it's a tad weird. You might want to say 'all my fingers' or cut that out completely.

Light was good.
-What kind of 'light' are you talking about? Are you saying light was good in the situation, or just saying light in itself was good?

The language was unnecessary.

But all of that was just me. :)

It was dark again.
-I like this sentence. It shows how dark Romilda's world is truly becoming, and how it will always seem so dark. Good description.
This story was very well written. Romilda didn't venture too far out of character, and you portrayed her as what she is: a lonely teenager.

Excellent story! Write more, please.
It would make a brilliant chaptered fic.

I now ship Romilda/Geoffery.

Wes....who is a girl.

Author's Response: Okay, I was researching lycanthropy, and the long middle finger-thing was a common symptom. I know it doesn't really fit and it wasn't in the books, but it was interesting, so I added it in. 'Light was good.'-Romilda is a bit freaked out about the message on the bedpost, and in the suspense, she wasn't thinking straight. Most teenage girls do such. (So yeah, in the situation.) I'm glad you liked the story, though. I wrote the first rough drafts of it about two years ago. The dream was the most fun to write, definitely. (Personally, my dreams never make any sense.) I always pictured Geoffrey as thirty or forty years old... Creepy, but whatever. Thanks for reviewing! -Halle

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