This was surprisingly good for 900 words. Usually a death scene takes ages, but you did well in a short space. Good job
Julia dear! -hugs-
This was such a touching story, dear. You chose a minor character which hasn't been given much of a role in the books, but here, we get to see a new side to this character, and the premise you chose was in many ways, fitting, and really gave us a new perspective to the person we know as Colin Creevey.
The beginning, with its description and the commotion, was realistically done. It wasn't all heavy on description-- more like what Colin noticed alone. That reduced the clutter of describing all the simultaneously occurring scenes, and that made it easy for us, the reader, to see how he was extremely confused. His emotions and feelings are brought to the forefront, and I liked how the description merely aided it, instead of taking the front seat there. The feeling of confusion is one of the first things that I felt as I read through his being in the battle-- it comes across quite strongly.
The fact that you don't spend too much time on the description of the battle; instead, move on to the conversation soon, also played a role in my liking the story. It wasn't too long drawn, yet, it played its role in the overall picture. I liked the contrast that's brought about early in the story between how he viewed the battle scene as he was alive, and how he viewed the same battle scene when dead. We can see his confusion at the sudden peace and calm, and how he furtively hopes for guidance.
Nearly Headless Nick guiding him through the 'in-between', as I call it, was fitting as well, and I could sense a feeling of regret in Nick's voice as he spoke to Colin. Colin's first reply and his mental deliberation on the matter was remarkably well done, too. His emotions move from being that of being sure that he would stay on earth, to being irrational about it all, and then finally to accepting it and moving on. The transition is brought out slowly, but you substantiate it so well with examples, especially where he sees his body being carried away by Oliver. And we can see Colin's confusion and his irrationality for a moment in this line so well. I ran down the steps, and tried to go back into my body, trying to get my hand to move when I placed my translucent one on it.
The ending had a sense of finality to it all; it wrapped up the story so neatly, and there I understood how significant the title was. It was a choice; a really tough one, and I could totally connect with Nick's proud smile that you describe at that point of time. Also, it projected a sort of growth in Colin, something that's subtly brought out underneath what is actually written. Wonderful work, dear.
Hey Julia! Your story was very cute. I agree that it was touching. I feel bad for poor Colin; he didn't have time to let reality sink in before he had to make his decision. And if you answer this, do you want to tell me what the line from DH was? I missed it. >.
Author's Response: *hugs* Thanks, love. Yeah, when I was in the first stages of writing this, I fretted over how long it should take him. It sounds silly, but I think it really matters, when it comes down to it. The line from DH is when Oliver is talking to Neville. Heh.
This was an interesting perspective from a character who never got much attention in the books. I liked Nick's role in the tale, too. Colin's reactions did feel a little flat, though. I would think he'd at least want to see Dennis one more time. But perhaps you wanted to avoid too much angst. The ending wrapped the story up neatly, and it was very touching.
Author's Response: Yes, I don't feel that angst is a strong point of mine, so I really wanted to avoid getting myself immersed in it. Thank you for the review, I really appreciate it. :)