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Reviews For Five Weeks

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 09/23/14 18:12 · For: Chapter 3 - Shattered Dreams
I dislike that this is such a short story. I didn't enjoy it though. Why do some people try to keep themselves away from the ones they love. I loved the ending and particularly the last sentence.

Author's Response: Remus is such a self-sacrificing soul. Um, yeah, it was short because I was writing for a challenge, I think. Thank you for the reviews.

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 09/23/14 17:49 · For: Chapter 2- The Life of Sirius Black
Now you've made me want to relive memories. I wish I could take memories out and put them in the Pensieve and see them again. Until we Muggles have that ability I guess I'll have to use the old fashioned way and remember or rewrite them in fiction.

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 09/23/14 16:40 · For: Chapter 1 - Her Day to Die
I liked this viewpoint. We are often shown what Harry saw and felt. Sirius' death at the hands of the Death Eaters had to have impacted a lot of other people like Tonks and Remus. I'm sure Tonks blamed herself. It was good for Sirius to appear to her one last time and tell he she wasn't to blame.

Name: Velda Quix (Signed) · Date: 06/05/14 14:03 · For: Chapter 1 - Her Day to Die
Wow, this really is an amazing story! The way you've managed to combine what we knew of Tonks -- the clumsy Auror in HP -- with the complicated background of being in the Black family is really amazing and I couldn't find anything to complain about!

To be honest, I'd completely forgotten that Tonks was injured as well in OOTP, and I love how this becomes the starting point for her new journey. The relationship between Tonks & Sirius in your fanfics is always beautiful *sniff* but the Sirius here is very different from Marauder-era Sirius and I can well imagine he would have cared about Tonks enough to intervene Dumbledore-style in her near-death.

"Proud to be a 'Puff" should be printed on a tee!!

Author's Response: Thank you very much. This was written such a long time ago, so it's doubly wonderful when someone discovers the story and reviews it. ~Carole

Name: Ithinkrabis2people (Signed) · Date: 08/15/11 14:22 · For: Chapter 3 - Shattered Dreams
Just read the whole thing, and think it's rather wonderful :D Think the characterisation is spot on - particularly Bellatrix... Though I'm not sure if she'd have said that, as she seemed a bit nonplussed when Voldemort first mentioned it to her in DH... but it was so chilling that I don't really care! ;) I also love Tonks' old patronus as a monkey - it suits her, but it never crossed my mind... Overall, fab fic :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I basically took the pruning thing from DH, although it is slightly outof time, but it sort of fitted with the story. Thanks again. Carole

Name: OtterMoone (Signed) · Date: 07/22/11 23:26 · For: Chapter 3 - Shattered Dreams
Nice little story. It definitely lets us feel Tonks' pain, even if only slightly. Oh, and that first review? I posted that before I finished with the first chapter :P Silly me!

Author's Response: Poor Tonks. If she'd survived the battle, I'm not sure she would have been happy without Remus, even with Teddy. Thank you for the review ~Carole~

Name: OtterMoone (Signed) · Date: 07/22/11 23:06 · For: Chapter 2- The Life of Sirius Black
D'awww.... I like how you made Sirius almost like a big brother figure to her :) But why are Tonks and Lupin already together? I take it that Lupin starts his nonsense in the next chapter.

Author's Response: My feeling with Tonks and Remus is that they were certainly together at the time of Sirius' death - or heading that way, and then it broke up when he was sent to the werewolf lair. In the books, (beginning of HBP) Tonks certainly doesn't want to spend time near Albus Dumbldore and I wonder if it's because he sent Remus away. Thank you ~Carole~

Name: OtterMoone (Signed) · Date: 07/22/11 21:43 · For: Chapter 1 - Her Day to Die
I'm going to make a conjecture from only reading the first chapter, and it's probably going to turn out wrong, but.... my guess is that the rose and message are from Bellatrix and she's talking about killing Sirius "for the best of the Black family". Wooh, probably a corny guess. Or maybe, I was already supposed to know who sent the rose, and I'm just a bit thick and didn't catch it. Now, I'll read the next few chapters! Oh, and by the way, Gryffindors are loyal, too :) .

Author's Response: I know Gryffindors are loyal - I just love my Hufflepuffs. (on the beta boards I'm a Hufflepuff and so I'm very very biased). Yes it was Bellatrix sending the rose and message. Wow, this was one of my first stories and I've not thought about it for ages. Thank you for reviewing. ~Carole~

Name: Snowlily (Signed) · Date: 05/09/11 14:30 · For: Chapter 3 - Shattered Dreams
I really liked it - I think Snape talked too much, but maybe he was feeling different that day. I just can't see him speaking civilly to someone who prefers her hair pink. I do enjoy how she had to keep her hair a normal color to persuade him to teach her....=)

Author's Response: Hmm, Snape when he's not with Harry, et al, is a different person. He wouldn;t have been quite such a bitter man when teaching Tonks and I think that's part of what he remembers. That's my personal canon, of course. I think he respected Tonks until she took up with the werewolf. Thank you ~Carole~

Name: Luna_Lover (Signed) · Date: 05/23/09 11:19 · For: Chapter 2- The Life of Sirius Black
“She’d always believed Snape favoured the Slytherins, but Tonks knew now that he had appreciated her diligence and willingness to be taught.”
That’s an interesting tidbit about Severus which surprised me. Again, it’s a side of him we don’t much see from Harry’s PoV, but I think it fits. Severus doesn’t need to always be portrayed as unfair simply because he is seen as such by Harry and acts as such around him.
I was struck by the funny picture of three-year-old Tonks objecting to Nymphadora. That’s an advantage of Pensieves I hadn’t thought of: the ability to relive memories of young childhood. I know I can’t remember much that happened to me when I was three.
“The last time Remus had seen her she’d been huddled up in a hospital bed, closer to death than anyone had realised. Then her parents had whisked her away to her childhood home and he’d wondered when he’d see her again.”
Does that mean we’re in third-person omniscient, instead of Tonks’ PoV? Nothing wrong with that; I do find omniscience so much more convenient. :)
That was a darling first kiss scene! It flowed so naturally. “Ecclesiastical” is my new favorite word. ^_^
Ah, poor Remus. Call that an initiation: if he can handle a drunk Tonks in a Muggle bar, he can handle anything.
Awesome job! I liked how this chapter focused more on Remus’ and Tonks’ relationship, but didn’t lose sight of Sirius’ death as the other main theme of the story. You did a great job of balancing the two.


Author's Response: Thanks Lilu. Ecclesiastical windows - yes that was another picture prompt, there was also a bottle full of a liquid and a picture of something wispy that looked like a memory. Ah, now, third person omni-thingy, I tend to slip into it, but sometimes I use it because it's fun (and, as you say, convenient). The story is primarily Tonks POV but Remus deserves some insight too.

Ah, their first kiss. I've changed that scene so many times, in many different fics and drabbles. I do love my OTP, so much. Thank you for reviewing and I'm glad you enjoyed it. carole xxx

Name: Luna_Lover (Signed) · Date: 05/13/09 21:17 · For: Chapter 1 - Her Day to Die
Hello, Carole dear! LiLu here, starting from the bottom up with the first of my reviews for you this month.

I found it a bit odd that Snape in his letter to the Order referred to Harry as “Harry.” I suppose this is simply because we never hear him talk about Harry by his first name in the books, but we also always see things from Harry’s own perspective, so I think it does work here.

“The months of inactivity, the months spent in the childhood home he’d sworn he would never return to, the unfairness that his criminal status rendered him impotent had surged through him. What did he care if he was caught? What did it matter if he died? Harry was in trouble and Sirius would not let his godson down the way he’d let down James.”

This part to me seemed like it switched to Sirius’ POV instead of Tonks’. I think it could be made a bit clearer that Sirius is expressing these thoughts to Tonks.

Is it just me, or is “fresh scars” an oxymoron? Not really a critique, just something I noticed. I do love oxymorons.

I like the way that, although Sirius is the main thing on Tonks’ mind as she wakes, she still is very aware of Remus and her attraction to him can be felt. His to her can also be seen without being the focus.

“The best houses need pruning”; this took my several reads to understand, but once I did, I found it deliciously disturbing, and a very Bellatrix thing to do.

It’s interesting the way you portray so much of Tonks’ guilt about Sirius as due to the consequences to Remus. It combines Sirius’ death and Tonks’ love for Remus into the complete reason for her depression.

As this came from a Gauntlet, I would be interested to know what the prompts were; perhaps I shall go and look. I think you do a good job of characterizing Tonks and Andromeda. Andromeda has the pride of a Black and a Slytherin (as I think she was), but instead of taking pride in her family, her pride causes her to push them away. Tonks is incredibly loyal to Sirius as shown by her conversation with her mother concerning him. This befits her as a Hufflepuff and also meshes with her loyalty and perseverance towards Remus in canon. Great job! I hope to read and review more later on.


Author's Response: Hello, Lilu. Thank you for the review. Hmm, fresh scars - no I don't think it's an oxymoron. You can have old scars (say months or years old) and then new ones (a few days old) *grins and then hides*. I didn't think about Snape calling Harry by his name. I think the message Snape sent was longer and Remus was paraphrasing but I've not made it clear. Sirius POV - well, I kinda thought it was more Tonks remembering what Sirius ahd said, but again that is unclear.

Okay, you can't look up the prompts because they were sent out indivially but in this chapter, I used three. The first was the one we all had which was Character A (Tonks in my case) finds Character B (Sirius) dead. We'd had to chose out characters before the prompt went out so I was pretty lucky because this happens in canon. The second prompt was a photograph of a bowl of flowers next to a window and the third prompt was a rose on top on a bloodied piece of parchment.

I particularly pleased that you picked up on Tonks guilt over Sirius AND her love for Remus being the reasons for depression. And I do often play up her Hufflepuff-ness. Hmm, I wonder why?

Thanks again for the review - I do appreciate it. Carole xxx

Name: tonkzie (Signed) · Date: 12/15/08 15:18 · For: Chapter 3 - Shattered Dreams
love it, ta for recommendation

Author's Response: OOH, sorry, I forgot to respond. Thank you for reading and I'm glad you enojoyed it. There should be some new AA chapters up soon (crosses fingers).

Name: Mudblood_and_Proud_of_it357 (Signed) · Date: 11/29/08 8:34 · For: Chapter 3 - Shattered Dreams
Wow, Carole! This is great! I never really read much on Tonks, though I've always rather liked her. Your characterization is fantastic, and I liked the dream part! By the way, at the end there, incantations are usually in italics. :) Nice job, though, Carole!

Author's Response: Hey Mapoi Wow to the Wow! Thank you for the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I really enjoyed the Gauntlet and can't wait for another go. If you want to read more Tonks then I do have another story...*hint* called Apparently Asleep. That's about Tonks/Remus and a fair amount of Sirius *sigh*. I shall fix that italics thingie- I guess I forgot to format...again. Carole xxx

Name: inspirations (Signed) · Date: 11/28/08 11:02 · For: Chapter 3 - Shattered Dreams
She wrenched her thoughts away from the sculls of her dream and looked up. - ‘skulls’.

After an hour they reached the top. - I never got the impression that it took quite that long to navigate through the tunnel.

“This helps plan my class, to see which students have the true brain of Potioneer.”
- ‘of a Potioneer’. Was this the fic you were asking for in the bar?

I really enjoyed reading your Gauntlet. The mood carried through this chapter was enticing. It starts quite uplifted, happy, but then it drops to sadder tones. I liked your use of the Patronus at the end and Remus telling Tonks to visit the Shrieking Shack. I felt as if that kept a connection between them, however much they were ignoring it.

Scene at the train station - awesome characterisation of the twins. And I laughed at Dora’s thoughts on the weather. That’s England for you! Lol.

Good work. xx

Author's Response: Hey Inspirations Thank-you for the review. Skulls- hmmmm yes that needs changing- although there is a fish basket called a scull spelt that way. I know I won't get away with that! Okay the tunnel:- The tunnel to Honeydukes takes about an hour as Harry finds out in POA. The one to the Shrieking Shack may not take quite as long but in POA it says '...it felt at least as long as the one to Honeydukes...', but they were looking for signs of Death Eater activity so they would be taking their time. Potioneer- yes I was asking in the bar about that but I may use it in my other fic. I rather like the word now *winks*. I'd seen Potionist used but it didn't seem quite right. Ha, Tonks and the weather. That's one of my lines from real life. It always rains during Wimbledon fortnight, after all. I'm glad you liked the twins as they were the hardest to write, in all honesty. I've very pleased you enjoyed this story. It's been a challenge but a pleasure to write it. Carole

Name: mudbloodproud (Signed) · Date: 11/28/08 7:19 · For: Chapter 3 - Shattered Dreams

What can I say? Wonderful. Just wonderful. You managed to incorporate the prompts in so seamlessly, I can't even pick them out. And best of all, you kept completely to canon. Well done!

She and Remus had been so intent on remembering their Sirius that they’d forgotten about Sirius-the-Godfather.

This is where the tears first started.

That chair was for Sirius.

And this is where they started falling.

I love the Twins. You did a great job capturing their manner of speaking and joking.

I did not expect Snape to make an appearance. I wasn't expecting him to be at the Shrieking Shack with her. You made it work perfectly. I love the little nudge to Apparently Asleep I am glad to know I am not the only one who puts little bits of other stories into a new one.

Once again, well done. Even though I was not your beta for this, I am still proud of the work you did and the way it turned out. Great job.


Author's Response: Awwwww, thanks Terri.

Glad (but also sorry) I made you cry. I cried a bit too especially when they were at the Order meeting together. *sob*. Snape came along for the ride because I needed a foil for Remus' concern when she was last injured. Then, when the black feathered quill appeared I was wondering who would use one. Who else but Severus Snape?

Thank-you Carole

Name: cassie123 (Signed) · Date: 11/28/08 0:18 · For: Chapter 1 - Her Day to Die
Yay, they're all up! Validation went so smoothly. I loved this story and your representation of Tonks' grief for Sirius and her relationship with Remus. xox ~ Cassie

Author's Response: Thanks for keeping the story, and especially Remus, on track,Cassie. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

Carole xxx

Name: mudbloodproud (Signed) · Date: 11/25/08 15:35 · For: Chapter 2- The Life of Sirius Black
Wotcher Carole, Wow, is about all I can say. Wait, let me brush the tears away so I can type. Wonderful job. You had me crying and laughing. The memory was so touching. I could see Sirius scooping up a little three year old and swinging her around.

Okay a couple tiny nitpicks. Couldn't turn the beta off even through my tears.

In your summary for this chapter, you wrote eveing instead of evening. You missed the n.

You forgot the e on Hogsmeade.

I also think instead of private tuition, it should be private tutoring.

“Pear drops,” she said to the stone gargoyle that let her pass.
This is worded awkwardly. Perhaps, she said to the stone gargoyle so it would let her pass.

Needn’t call me ‘sir’ anymore, should be You needn't call me sir

Other than those few things, it was perfect. You are really doing well with Tonks and her character.


Author's Response: Wotcher Terri,

Okay I agree with all your nit-picks except the tutoring one. Tuition's more British (heh heh.) I'm glad you're enjoying it. It's odd submitting something that you haven't read before. Thank-you for reviewing.

Carole xxx

Name: mudbloodproud (Signed) · Date: 11/19/08 14:42 · For: Chapter 1 - Her Day to Die
Great job on this. It is strange to read something of yours that I didn't beta. LOL
“Ta for the rose.” You know I love to hear the word Ta. Brings back so many memories of my grandparents.
I have only one tiniest of issues; Andromeda believing in Sirius' guilt. I always had the impression they were very close and she would have believed in him. Nothing in canon to back my theory up, so it is fine.
I was wondering though, how many of the prompts are in this chapter? You worked them in seamlessly.
Again, great work. I can't wait for the rest of this story.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, Terri and glad you're enjoying it. I used three prompts in this chapter *hastily counts* - yes three. Regarding Andromeda, my feeling is that she wanted to protect her daughter and knew enough of the Black family legacy to think Sirius could be guilty. Hence the line "I know what the Black family are capable of." Also no one, not even Dumbledore or Remus, believed he was innocent.

Name: inspirations (Signed) · Date: 11/19/08 12:28 · For: Chapter 1 - Her Day to Die
She had gone through childhood living under the cloud of the Black family and her mother's refusalto talk to her about it. - you need ‘refusal to’.

Great start! I’m intrigued. You’ve taken a different approach to me, and you’ve stuck it in the midst of a canon event. I like your Dora, especially the ideas you associate with the veil through her.

Author's Response: OOOPS! that's what happens when you add a line without showing it to your beta ;-) Mmmm kept it canon because Tonks was there when he died - so it seemed only right. Thank - you for the review.

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