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Reviews For Apparently Asleep

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 02/07/09 21:18 · For: Chapter 8 "Expecto Patronum!"
I'm with you - Remus get off your arse and kiss the girl you fool!
Great chapter. I like reading about Tonks and Remus, and having Charlie thrown in is a bonus.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing - always appreciated. Remus, what can I say? He should just get on with it but *sigh* he's too darn noble. Next chapter is called The Raid (I think) and should be up soon (ish). It needs a bit more tweaking and beta'ing and then modding. Carole xxx

Name: greenisfunny (Signed) · Date: 02/07/09 12:33 · For: Chapter 8 "Expecto Patronum!"
Thats so cute, him helping her with her Patronus. lol But its accurate, men like to feel needed. Great chapter, I'm anxious for more!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I agree most men like to feel needed, however I think Remus' prolem is that being needed terrifies him - *sigh*. There should be another chapter soon - ish. Carole xxx

Name: greenisfunny (Signed) · Date: 01/27/09 23:04 · For: Chapter 7 - Damsel in Distress
I just found yoru story and I must say I've really been enjoying it. Remus and Tonks are my favorite couple and decent ff's about them are in short supply. But I seem to have found one. :) Keep writing, I'm bookmarking you.

Author's Response: WOW! Thank you for the review. I love Remus and Tonks with a passion bordering on obsession, so the story will continue. The next chapter should be up soon, it's just being tweaked. Thanks again. Carole xxx

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/24/09 19:34 · For: Chapter 7 - Damsel in Distress
Like the chapter. I like Charlie and his dragons. Glad Remus and Tonks got to see each other again and can't wait until they are "really together". I'm guessing though that's going to be a long ways off.

Author's Response: Mmm, few more chapters yet, I'm afraid. And even then, as we all know, it won't be plain sailing. Thank you for the review. Carole

Name: rambkowalczyk (Signed) · Date: 01/24/09 18:31 · For: Chapter 7 - Damsel in Distress
Although I'm not big on romance stories, I find this story interesting mainly because of Tonks obsession with Sirius.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you. I'm not trying to write a 'romance' as such. Unfortunately, it has to belong in the Remus/Tonks pairings category.I don't think Tonks is the least bit fluffy for traditional romance. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Sirius should be escaping from Azkaban soon. Carole xxx

Name: tonkzie (Signed) · Date: 01/24/09 11:19 · For: Chapter 7 - Damsel in Distress
that was so beauiful, and the bit where the lady comes in and sees tonks and remus, HILARIOUS! Priceless! congrats amigo

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you liked Catalina's grand entrance. Next chapter will hopefully be up soon.

Name: Rainey_Dae (Signed) · Date: 01/19/09 13:57 · For: Chapter 1- Cool!
I finally found where the title is from! I was sort of half trying to see where you were going with it, thought you might explain it later but then... I reread the seventh book... and I found it );

Author's Response: Yes, seventh book. Still makes me cry whenever I read it. *sobs*. Thank you for being interested enough to work it out *smiles* Carole xxx

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/15/09 18:01 · For: Chapter 1- Cool!
I'm always looking for what's between the lines. If you ever need someone to look there before you finish a chapter, let me know.

Author's Response: Sorry, I should have replied to this years ago (literally) Only just catching up. Thank you so much for all your support. ~Carole~

Name: MerrryD (Signed) · Date: 01/08/09 15:42 · For: Chapter 1- Cool!
Hey, Carole. =) So, I know this is the chapter with the most reviews, but I don't care, I'm going to review it anyway, and hopefully I'll make my way to the rest of the chapters. ;)

A few nitpicks:

He had hung no pictures on the wall, but above the sofa he’d stuck a large photo of himself and his friends.

Er, well, you contradicted yourself in this sentence and it was a little confusing. I think that if you added in the word 'for' after 'but' it would make more sense or if you put 'save for' or 'except for' in place of the 'but.'

Juggling three potatoes in his hand...

Hm... I was confused by 'juggling' - I thought he was literally juggling them until I kept reading. Perhaps 'balancing' instead?

‘Lumos,’ he whispered

Er, this is weird, because 'lumos' only has one quotation mark and the rest of your dialogue uses two. And, 'lumos' should be italicized because it's a spell.

In her hand she clutched a faded Gryffindor T-shirt.
“He didn’t do it,” she sobbed. “He would never have betrayed them.”

This is just a small formatting error. They really bug me, so I always point them out, 'cause they disrupt the flow of the story. >.> Anyway, yeah, you just need to hit enter after the first sentence, obviously.

I had something else.... Eh, can't think of it. >.>

Sirius snorted; he was pleased little girls grew up.

LOL. I love that you love him, Carole. :)
“It changes colour when I get too excited- it’s quite naughty.”


But Bellatrix had always had a darker side - darker even than black - lurking in her eyes, a darkness that repelled Sirius.

Ooh, this line is brilliant. =) I'm guessing that it's foreshadowing a little - while the rest of the story is a romance, it's still set during the first war, and consequently going to have a darker side to it, no?

She smiled a wide smile that split her face in two, reached inside him and wrung out his heart.

Awww. How sweet. Little kids are the best.

“Is it a baddie?” she said, her eyes widening like saucers.

hahahahahahaha. I almost died here.

“Fully dressed, I see, so it can’t be a woman.”

I don't have any words. I don't really think I need them. You probably understand. ~_^

It won’t hurt him will it?
I love how he automatically assumes it's a boy. >.>

“It might be a her,” exclaimed Tonks. “You keep saying it’s a boy. How do you know?”

And I love even more how Tonks is right there, shutting him down.

“Hello,” he said almost formally. “You must be Sirius’ wife.”

Tonks frowned at him “Are you Moony or Wormtail?” she demanded.
“M-Moony!” he said in surprise.
“That’s a really uncool nick-name,” she said, looking him straight in the eye. “Why did you choose it?”
He laughed loudly. “You must be a relative of his. Only Sirius is ever that rude to people.”

Oh, Merlin, I can't breathe.

As she spoke her hair suddenly changed from dark red to an icy blue.

I do love little kids. :) And not just for their adorable, excuse me, brillantness, but because of their innocence and their excellent judge of people. I wish we could preserve that in all people as we grow up. -sigh- The world is so much simpler when you're younger, and everything is black and white.

“Moony, here, was out all night dancing at a club. You wouldn’t think it to look at him but he’s a huge hit on the dance-floor.”

lol, yes, I could just see Remus out there dancing with every girl. =P

“She’s up the duff, mate,” said Sirius crudely.

LMAO. I assume this is British slang for 'knocked up' and ha. That's so Sirius. =D

Random Thoughts-->
First off, your characterization in general is perfect. Especially of Sirius, but, how could it not be? ~_^ And James extreme protectiveness of Lily, hee, and Lily's confident, tough Lily-ness, and Remus was a good Remus. I read a lot of Marauder Era fics, and Remus is always seems a bit - duller and more bookish than I imagine him, and the way you protray him, he's got personality and seems...alive. :) I disagree with your characterization of Narcissa, but I don't really think that many people do agree on her. >.> You wrote you idea of her very well, as well. :)

I'm pretty intrigued as to where this is going. It's a Remus/Tonks fic, and you've shown a little bit of it, but it seems to be more geared towards Tonks and Sirius's relationship.....

I guess I'll just have to read on! =)

Very nice job, Carole. I'm impressed.



Author's Response: Hey Mere, Thanks for the review. I shall certainly look at the nit-picks. Juggling, though. I had it in my head that he was literally juggling the potatoes - kind of a party trick. I'm very pleased you like the characterisations of the Marauders, especially Remus, as this fic is primarily about him and Tonks. I shall have to talk to you about Narcissa; I have a theme running through about how Metamorphamagi are perceived by the wizarding world and Narcissa's opinion - especially as she was pregnant at the time and likely to be all hormonal - was to set this up. She's about to feature in a future chapter so I think I'll pick your brains.

I hope you get to read the rest of this as I value your insights. There is more Sirius to come, but at the moment (and Chapter 6 is up there) he's still locked up in Azkaban. *sob*

Thanks again. I do love Badgers! Carole xxx

Name: Rainey_Dae (Signed) · Date: 01/07/09 19:12 · For: Chapter 1- Cool!
Awesome chapter, moody was great! Glad to see he's not too much of a "Constant Vigilance" shouter because Alastor Moody never (that I can think of, correct me if I'm wrong) actually says "constant vigilance". That was Barty Crouch Jr's thing.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. This was the chapter I've been most worried about - due to the lack of Remus so the fact you enjoyed it means a lot.

Name: Calico (Signed) · Date: 01/07/09 18:23 · For: Chapter 6 - Old Mad-Eye
You did an amazing job with Moody; I hope we get to see a lot more of him. Are we going to hear the conversation between Andromeda and Tonks about their family in the next chapter? And when is Remus coming back?? Update soon!

Author's Response: Yes, we'll see more of Moody. No, you won't get the conversation with Andromeda and Tonks...yet. Remus is coming back very soon. I can't leave him out for long - he'd kill me.

So pleased you're enjoying this and thank you for the review.

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/06/09 20:43 · For: Chapter 6 - Old Mad-Eye
I did like the chapter. There hasn't been much background anywhere on Tonks, Andromeda or Ted's Muggle family, I also enjoyed the letter from Charlie and Mad Eye's teaching.

Author's Response: Glad you liked Mad-Eye. He's a tough one to write without lapsing into 'CONSTANT VIGILANCE' cliches all the time. Thank you for the review.

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/03/09 11:01 · For: Chapter 1- Cool!
Yup, including before and after.

Author's Response: Thank you. Sorry, i haven't replied before now. ~Carole~

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/02/09 20:04 · For: Chapter 1- Cool!
I'm very good at reading and like to try and figure out where the story is going. I'm also pretty devious when I need to be, and I'm probably a lot older than many of the people who read the stories here so I've had a lot of practice.

Author's Response: You sound very much like me! The main reason I'm writing fanfiction is because from an early age I've always wondered about character's lives off page.

Thank-you for the reviews. Carole

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/01/09 23:16 · For: Chapter 5- Opportunities
We knew Charlie was keen on draons. I'm thinking Remus is doing "Order" stuff between wars. Like trying to figure out who really betrayed James & Lily since nobody who knew him well thinks Sirius was the one, and now that someone else has brought the question up, investigation is in order.

Author's Response: Thank-you for reviewing. I'm so pleased you're enjoying the story and leaving reviews. We may see more of Charlie, by the way. *hint* Carole xxx

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/01/09 22:50 · For: Chapter 4 - Grudge Match
Whichever Weasley Twin shot the bludger at her is going to be in trouble. I'd love to think this really was the way Tonks and Remus began.

Author's Response: Don't worry about Fred and George - Charlie will show his true Weasley temper. I'm glad you like my Tonks/Remus backstory. Thank you so much for reviewing; I really appreciate it. Carole xxx

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/01/09 21:52 · For: Memories and Revelations
I have thoroughly enjoyed the chapter. You took the hmmmn right out of my mouth. I'm thinking she's going to tell Snape that since she wants to be an Auror and they need to know how to deal with many kinds of people, potions, and problems, that she wants to learn to make Wolfsbane potion incase she's ever assigned to follow, track or interogate a werewolf and it's the fullmoon.

Author's Response: Well, as you've read the next chapter you know how she managed to persuade him that Wolfsbane ws a good potion for her to brew. I like your ideas, perhaps I should make you my consultant - you're very good at working out the intricacies. Carole xxx

Name: captburke (Signed) · Date: 01/01/09 20:44 · For: Chapter 2- More of a Miss than a Kiss
Interesting. I can definitely see Tonks trying this and Remus being very pissed off when he caught her. Especially since Remus had trouble believing Siriuse was the traitor in the first place.

Author's Response: I think Remus really wants to believe her, doesn't he. but that damn logical brain of his keeps getting in the way! Thank you for reviewing. I'm glad you're interested enough to try working it out. Carole xxx

Name: Calico (Signed) · Date: 12/21/08 14:24 · For: Chapter 5- Opportunities
Aaaah this was the best chapter yet! There was so much going on between all the characters, and now I'm dying to read on! Update please!!

Author's Response: OOH, thank you so much. There will, hopefully, be a new chapter soon. There's certainly a few more written! I'm so glad you're enjoying it as I really love writing it.

Name: inspirations (Signed) · Date: 12/21/08 10:36 · For: Chapter 5- Opportunities
Great chapter, Carole - I loved it! And I have no nitpicks, apart from,

“It’s brilliant, Charlie. I’m so pleased for you. However, if your mum’s worried about Bludgers, what in the name of Helga Hufflepuffs best nightie is she going to say about dragons?” - isn’t it ‘Hufflepuff’s’ in this case? Loved this line by the way. Heehee, it’s a bit different to the usual ‘Merlin’s pants’.

Oh - and that Martha girl that Remus refers to, is she from the Lions of Gryffindor? I recognise the name…

Your Dumbledore characterisation was good, I really enjoyed that scene. I suppose he knows exactly what happened between Remus/Tonks via Legilimens, but Dumbledore isn’t the sort who likes expelling pupils, is he? Hmm…

The number of times he went on about that record. It annoyed the hell out of us, so having a Black beat a Potter would have had Sirius crowing for years.” - I forget that Tonks is a Black, but I suppose this makes her win even more significant for her, knowing this.

Such a small gesture but it sent a tingle down her spine. His fingers stopped and seemed to dwell on her cheekbone. She held her breath.

He blinked rapidly and removed his hand. “You have a bruise there, Tonks,” he said and quickly looked away. He stood up. “I should go,” he said.

That paragraph was fantastic. You could really feel the tension between the pair, and it made me hold my breath too. The way you described it (namely the second bit) was quite subtle, which was effective.

The interactions between Charlie and Dora have me smiling in every chapter, and I especially liked the conversation about houses and dragons in this one. It shows how well they know each other, but this line made me feel sorry for dear Charlie:

Charlie noticed that she seemed to be starting a lot of her sentences with the word Remus. Not Lupin now, he thought, yet I’m still Weasley. - poor guy. :(

And to round off, I hope Hufflepuff win the House Cup in your story, though I doubt they will… they deserve it though, all the same. ’Puffs are the hardest working, and they’re deserving. They just don’t get enough recognition in the books, which is another thing I like about your story.

Bye, now xx

Author's Response: Awww, Thank you. That's a lovely review. I'm so pleased you like my Dumbledore. I have a few problems with him. I hadn't envisaged him using Legilimens but I think he's a shrewd enough man to realise that there's somthing a bit dodgy about Tonks just happening to run into Remus in Hogsmeade.

Yes, it's the same Martha. She muscled in to this story too *sigh*. There may well be more of her in the future *hint hint*

Yep, poor Charlie. I don't know what to say about him, really. I get overcome with guilt when I think of him pining, but I'm sure it won't be forever. He may not get married but I'm sure he'll have some fun. *plot bunny*

I think the fact that I'm in Hufflepuff seems to have had rather an influence on this story *winks*.It must have been so annoying for them to be in last place all the time.

Thank you again (and I shall put that missing apostrophe in now.) Carole xxx

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