Very well done! My soup went cold while I read this... and I don't care because your story REALLY held my interest. Thanks for writing it.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! I loved writing it, and it's good to know that people like reading it!
This story was delightful! It was just what I wanted to read right now.
"My good opinion lost once is lost forever." So I guess James didn't read P&P once Lily said she liked that book, or he would have realized that Lily was having a Mr. Darcy moment...
I like how James is cocky but not overly so. Also, I noticed that your "Someone to watch..." James also likes giving nicknames. Hmmm....
A few criticisms.
First, I was a little confused about why Lily suddenly got mad at James. It seemed a little unprecipitated.
Also--and maybe this is just me--I wish you had foregone the "ten things" part. I love reading what you think up yourself. That part was a little weaker and seemed kind of out of place, like you knew you wanted to put it in your story but had to find where.
But the format was great. There was a nice cadence to this--the pacing was really good within each section; it was kind of lilting. That's not a very clear way to describe it, but I hope you get what I mean.
Also, you were humorous in just the right places.
All in all, very nice! I really enjoyed reading this. It was just what I needed.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm glad you liked the pacing. And yes, I do have James doling out nicknames in more than one story . . . I just really think that James is the sort of person who would give Lily affectionate nicknames! Plus, I myself love them ;) Criticisms are always appreciated. When she gets mad at him it is rather sudden, and I was a little worried it would confuse people, but I really wanted the explanation to come after the fact. Thanks again for the wonderful review!
Wow, this really is the best fanfic I've read so far. The way you wrote made me want to read more, and the ending was perfect, just the way i wanted it to end!
Well done, I think you're an excellent writer :D
It would be great if you wrote some more James/Lily Fics!
Author's Response: Thanks very much for such high praise! I'm glad enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing it. As for more James and Lily -- I do have some others, although as this is my newest, I naturally think its one of my best yet. Still, if you're interested, I've love for you to read the others!
It was so funny and sweet! I loved the ending, it was perfect!
I liked how the facts were completely random and pointless in the begining, but as the story went on they got more deep and more personal.
~Passion For Prongs
P.S. I love every one of your stories, and I think I'm going to die if you don't update Someone To Watch Over Me!
Author's Response: The facts definitely do grow more meaninful as the story progresses. I'm glad you liked the story! Thanks for the review. And as for Someone To Watch Over Me -- the next chapter is in queue.
i LOVE it =]
spectacular lol =]
Author's Response: Thanks very much!
its amazing!! it is really different from your usual style. i feel like ive read it on a different site....
ha i looked it up and its you on fanfiction.net wow!!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you like it. Yes, it was posted on fanfiction.net before I posted it here, because I wasn't sure how people would respond to it (it is very different from my usual style). I get a good reaction, so I decided to put it up on my favorite fanfiction site -- Mugglenet. :)
This, honestly, must be my favorite fanfic to date. Not only is it wonderfully and excellently written, but it was the first fic I have read since going on a seemingly-permanent hiatus. Now I'm considering coming back. :)
First, a question. James says he's allergic to dogs. Doesn't he say he has one at home? Though there are ways around that, obviously, since there are fixes for allergic reactions.
And when you talked about Ten Things I Hate About You (great movie :] ), you accidently placed an 'A' before 'Hate.'
Now onto the many praises I have:
I would love to pick out my favorite lines and moments, but I would just end up highlighting the entire story. The transitionings in time were perfect; you didn't keep Lily hating James for too long, and you didn't change her opinions too quickly. As a read it, I kept watching for the subtle hints that her opinions were changing.. And I loved it. It was just perfect in that aspect. That clinched it for me; you're one of the rare - very, very rare - few who was able to pull that off so well. I tip my hat off to you. :)
I also am extremely envious of the incredible ease with which this seems to have come to you. It flows extremely well, and I love the fact that dialogue is so prevalent in the fic, without also constantly repeating "Lily said, James said, etc."
Another thing I thought was great was the fact that you wrote only of their study sessions. No hallway interactions, no classes, nothing but the study sessions. (By the way, I also applaud you on having placed them in the library rather than in the Common Room.)
And, lastly, the transitioning in emotions was amazing. The fact that you had them argue (and that you also didn't tell the reader straight out what it was about until later) set the stage for Lily's profession of missing James and for them getting together later. The ending was the greatest, ever, by the way, with James' oh so cute line of O' Reilly's greatest accomplishment. :) !
Excellent. You should be proud of this one. :)
Author's Response: Thanks very much! Reviews like this make the time and energy spent writing more than worth it. The dog thing -- I'll have to fix that. I originally had them allergic to cats, but then someone reminded me that they have a cat in the future according to the seventh book, so I carelessly changed it to dogs. I'll have to change it again, although this time with a bit more attention! ;) The transitions from Lily slowly coming to like James were what I was most focused on -- I really wanted it to be slow, and subtle, the way I imagine it really would be. I don't think Lily would suddenly wake up one day and have an epiphany that she loves James, the way she does in some fics. I'm glad you think I managed to pull off those transitions well! The ending might have been one of my favorite parts to write, so I'm glad you enjoyed that as well. As for everything but the start and end happening during their study sessions -- I kind of think of that as the glue of the story, and I don't think it would have been the same had their been any interactions outside of their study sessions. It's good to know you agree! :) Thanks again.
I loved this! It was really funny =]
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you thought so. And I like your penname! ;)
What a great story. It was different, but very well done. I loved the end - especially the way you switched POV to Cassie like at the start.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it despite how different it is.
hahaha that was awsome!
i loved it!
so i'm gonna be a bit of a crazy person who notices things no one else does, but just thought i'd point out that james and lily cant both be allergic to cats..
in book 7 lily writes a letter to sirius in which she mentions harry almost killing the cat on his toy broom...i'm pretty sure i'm one of the onyl people in the whole world who would notice that but i had to say something.
anywho, love your work! awsome story!
Author's Response: That's good of you to point out -- I should probably change that! I'm glad you liked the story otherwise. Thanks for the review!
Hey! You've got a new one shot up! Yay! :D
Perfectly written other than one mistake:
What are you other two for today?
It should be 'your' and not 'you'.
Now, on with my comments. =D
“Lily, ma’am, nothing, whoever you are, I have an idea.”
Second, my favorite color is green, because you have green eyes, obviously. And third, I have a dog named Whimsy who I
only get to see during the Summer and Christmas break, but I adore her more than anyone in the world, with the exception of
my mother, myself, and you, naturally.”
Aw... that's so sweet.
“I can make homemade mashed potatoes, you know.”
Really? Am I invited over for dinner? =p
“Really, really,” she affirmed. He rummaged around his bag for a moment and finally presented her with a small black ink
bottle, the seal not yet broken.
“Only for you, pretty girl.”
What a gift. =] Not romantic but really sweet. =]
“Try and deny it, but you and I both know there’s chemistry between them — stop laughing; I’m completely serious!”
Lol. It seems as if he's telling me to stop laughing. Lol.
“I guess we should get started, huh?” and he grabbed a book and put his attention to it.
Now that's a first. It's him who's taking over the project first.
“I want to go first today, if you don’t mind.”
Another first from Lily's part. =D
"... that I really think it’s admirable that you want to fight Voldemort when you get out of Hogwarts..."
Another first. Finally she admires something about him.
“Anytime! Consider it one of my three, in addition to having a desperate dream to ride a dragon and hating apricots.”
“I’ll see what I can do about that dragon.”
“If you can, I’ll love you forever. No . . . wait . . . I already love you. Oh, well, I’ll love you even more.”
He wants to ride a dragon? Now why doesn't that surprise me? =p Love the third line. =D
“Lily, Lily, Lily, do you honestly still think we won’t get married? Sometimes I wonder about you: you’re so silly.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I feel I ought to point out that I myself happen to be a single man in possession of a good fortune. And, understandably, I’m in want of a —”
Wow. Excellent dialogue. =D And hilarious too! =D
“Can’t Take My Eyes Off You?” repeated James. Lily nodded confirmation. “And would you say that you’re — how do I ask this — turned on by this song?” He posed a curious face for her.
LOL. He knows the song? =O Wow.
“OH, PRETTY BABY, NOW THAT I FOUND YOU, STAY, AND LET ME LOVE YOU, OH BABY LET ME LOVE YOU — ‘CAUSE I’M SINGING TO YOU AND MADAME PINCE IS GOING TO KILL ME —”
Lol. Love the ending. =p
"...I’ve been saving myself for that special someone. Namely, you. So whenever you’re ready, just say the word, and —”
Lol. =D Sweet. =]
“Fine,” a defiant smirk bloomed on her face. “I’ve never had sex with or fooled around with a boy before, but what you don’t
know is that I have made out with a boy.”
“WHAT? WHO? WHEN? WHERE? WHY?”
LOVE James' reaction. Hahahaha. =D
“I promise not to beat him up — only punch him.”
Uh... that's not doing much? Lol.
“Lily, Lily, Lily,” he shook his head. “You make it too easy for me. I want to have at least three or four children, too! Match. Made. In. Heaven. I’m telling you!”
Lol. Again. =D
“The Beatles are wizards, Lily.”
Uh. Sure. =p Lol. Nice touch though. =]
“That doesn’t count,” he told her sadly. “I already knew that.”
Poor guy. =[
“Hi, James,” she greeted timidly.
Turned to first names. have we?
Wait, no! That was how I’ve spent the last few years feeling.
Aw... poor James. *sigh*
He stood up to leave. She opened her mouth to stop him. She closed it again. He left.
Damn. Damn. Damn.
I miss you, James. I really, really miss you.
So finally she admits. Hmph.
“You snogged Clark Tomlinson?” James exclaimed, standing up in outrage. “He was in the year above us! And he was in Ravenclaw! Ravenclaw! And he was blonde. Blonde, Lily. And he was short and rutty-looking! Didn’t you think so? And Merlin’s
toe, the boy had halitosis, I swear!” he blustered. “Lily, how could you?”
Hehehe... over protective, is he? ;] =D
“First and foremost, we’d like to tell you about Sir Oscar O’Reilly’s greatest accomplishment to date,” James grinned.
This,” James answered, and before anyone had time to react, he grabbed Lily and dragged her to him, pressing his lips to hers.
Finally! =D Greatest accomplishment, indeed. Getting James and Lily together. =D
But he stopped mid-sentence when Lily reached forward and grabbed James’s tie, yanking him down towards her and
slamming her mouth to his.
Finally she understands.
...as the two completely ignored the stuttering of the professor...
Poor Professor. LOL.
When James slipped his tongue into Lily’s mouth, Cassie decided Charms wasn’t nearly as boring as she’d previously believed.
Yeah... snogging sessions in class much better than assignments, yeah? Lol.
Fantastic one shot. I was literally laughing through out. Sirius-ly. The next thing my parents are going to do now is take me to
the doctor for laughing randomly. Lol. But, loved the one shot. It was hilariously awesome. =D James and Lily were IC.
Everything was perfect, including the ending!
Great job, hon! =]
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's always fun to read what quotes people liked best. And of course, I appreciate you pointing out my typo -- I'll fix that. One thing I really wanted to happen in this one-shot was for Lily to have a slow transition when it came to James: slowly realizing he was a decent person with qualities to admire; slowly realizing she considers him a friend and that she misses him when he's not in her life. But of course, in the end, she still needed a shove in the right direction to finally kiss him. ;) I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again for such a wonderful review!
Oh, James and Lily. You guys just made my day. I shall elaborate, because everyone likes reviews!
Errr I hate when teachers assign partners! Because the other people never do their fair share of the work. Like this one time when we needed to write ten essays and everyone had to write two except the “editor” (ME) but no one wanted to write an extra one so I had to do double the work of everyone else. Yeah. There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler’s mind.
We totally play the three facts game at summer camp! Except it’s on slips of paper and you have to guess who’s facts they are. And, you know, no one’s desperately trying to make anyone else fall in love with them like James was. But still.
I like that this is mostly in dialogue. You can still follow the action but there isn’t any random, clichéd and unnecessary description like “Lily entered the room, pulled out a chair, and sat down. James proceeded to…” and so forth. Okay, so that was an exaggeration, but you get the drift, right? The balance between dialogue and narration is really good, in my humble opinion. And, like James, I like having opinions.
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE! YAY! I haven’t actually read it, but I’m in the play currently. I recently spent an entire rehearsal trying to prove that the guy who played Darcy in the most recent movie adaptation looked like Snape. It was fun, until the guy playing Darcy in our version told me he looked more like Paul Rudd. I think he was kidding.
I LOVE THAT SONG. HEATH LEDGERRRR. Best scene in the entire movie, that thing on the bleachers. And James was adorable as well.
The Beatles are SO magical. Wow. Yes. Yay! Somehow, “I am the Walrus” makes a whole lot more sense now.
“My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.” THAT IS ANOTHER DARCY LINE! Lily isn’t Darcy! Darcy is all emo and brooding and “she hates me, I guess I’ll just sit in a corner and rot.” Lily and James are both the TOTAL OPPOSITES OF THAT. Lily’s Elizabeth, if anything. “You are, Mr. Darcy, the last man in the world that I could ever be prevailed upon to marry!” Best. Scene. Teaches Darcy right for countering my Snape argument. And I realize that I am not making any sense if you haven’t actually read Pride and Prejudice. My apologies. I’m kind of caught up in that whole sphere right now, as the show is next week.
AHH the three fact thing is like that poem she wrote at the end of the movie! Julia Stiles, not Elizabeth Bennett. I’m mixing up my analogies. “I hate that I don’t hate you.” which looks really stupid now I’ve typed it out, but made me go AWWWW the first time I watched it. That there is a Lily/James Kodak moment. Mhmmm.
Kate Hugh and Grant Stevens. HUGH GRANT. I giggled endlessly about that one, even if it was unintentional.
I’ve said it before, I’m not an L/J lurker. But I smiled all the way through this nonetheless. It totally made my day, as stated previously. I love the way you write Lily and James: they’re realer and quirkier and more believable than any other versions I’ve seen. And this was utterly and completely adorable, just like Snape!Darcy and BleacherDancing!HeathLedger. Yay.
Author's Response: Ah, thank you for such a wonderful, wonderful review! I have definitely read Pride and Prejudice -- I have a well-thumbed copy that I re-read about once a year. Lily does quote Darcy, you're correct, and while she is more like Elizabeth, in that line I was connecting her pride to that of Darcy's. Good luck in your play! That would a fun play to be in. As for Heath Ledger -- that was my favorite scene in the movie, and it is one of my all time favorite movies. I'm glad you liked my adaption of it. I wasn't thinking of the poem at the end of 10 Things I Hate About You when I had Lily give her speech about how she misses James, but I do see the connection. As for not being an L/J lurker -- that's fine with me. The fact that you read my Lily/James stories anyway is a big compliment to them and to me! Thanks again for the great review.
I luved it!! great job 10/10
Favorite part: "...I can make homemade mashed potatoes you know."
I laughed out loud there.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I imagine James as saying that sort of silly thing often; I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
great story! you should write a chapter story with james and lily. i loved this! keep it up! ~avriett
Author's Response: I actually have a chapter story about James and Lily -- its kind of an epic; I've been working on it for two years and it is over 100,000 words. It's nothing like this one-shot, though. But if you want to check it out. . . . ;) Thanks for the review!
the story was great and the ending was absolutely brilliant. I got a good chuckle out of it thank you.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it and that I could make you laugh! :) Thanks very much for the review.
I'm so glad the technical difficulties with this one finally got cleared up! I was so excited to read this when I got the notification email, and then I couldn't and I was not a happy person.
Anyways, this one deserves a big AWWWWWW!
I really liked they way this one was formatted, with all of their meetings and whatnot. Their conversations were so fun and interesting to read, you got their characters just right. And you were able to transition from funny to serious to sad to happy really easily.
All in all, so good! Great job =)
Author's Response: I'm so glad it all got sorted out too! Thanks very much for reading and reviewing -- I'm especially fond of this, as its format is so different from what I usually do, and I think it turned out really well. :)
I loved it. I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for writing such a great story!
Author's Response: Good! I'm glad. You're welcome, and thank you for reviewing!
yay!!!! I LOVE IT!!! that is soooo cute!!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the review.
uhh there is something wrong with the story...all that shows up is the summary...
Author's Response: Believe me -- I am well aware. I've already e-mailed the mods; I did so on Saturday, actually, and they've yet to respond to me or to change anything. I don't want to pester them, but if nothing changes soon then. . . .
Oh no! I really need a semi-fluffy oneshot, ASAP! Please see what happened, I'm sure you're just as frazzled as I am! :O