That was pretty good. First marauder era fic I ever forced myself to read... but don't mind me, marauder era isn't really my cup of tea. I'm just waitng for you to get on with "Apparently Asleep" (;
Oh and the kiss of life scene was good enough, but the spell is anapnea (clears airways and restarts breathing, but I've butchered the spelling)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. The next Chapter of AA is in the queue so hopefully not long now (and I'm almost done with two further chapters, too). Yeah, I know the spell to clear the lungs but at that point James was beyong magic help and they were in so much shock that not even Remus could remember it - they are only Year 5 after all.
Wow!~ I really like this story! Your take on Regulus & Sirius's r/ship is refreshing, to say the least..this is a fab story! do update soon
Author's Response: Thank-you for the review. I'm so pleased you liked Sirius and Regulus. I think they must have had some sort of brotherly love for each other. Regulus will return for a later chapter or two. Next chapter concerns Lily.
I'm hoping it's the latter, but I'll find out when I have time to read the next chapter.
Author's Response: Ah, you'll just have to wait and see. *twirls Victorian moustache in an intriguing manner* I'm so pleased you're enjoying this. Carole xxx
Liked it. I can see that the ego of the father was on to the son. I wonder if Lily suspects it might have been James who put the blanket on her.
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. No, Lily doesn't think James could possibly do anything that caring, I'm afraid.
I do like the story. An interesting concept that Harry's imprint was visible as if he were watching the memory as it happened. Sort of like when Hermioned thought she saw something during the TimeTurner part of POA. I really like that James was actually ashamed of his actions when he saw the expression on Harry's face.
Author's Response: Thank you. I do believe you're one of the only people to spot that! In fact Harry's appearance via the Pensieve was the inspiration for this whole story. Originally it was only going to be a one-shot, but then as I got to the end of the chapter I realised the story had legs. And thus my love affair with the Marauders began.
Oh, please update very soon!!!! I checked in every day to see if you'd updated, and it was torturous! Please spare my aching belly and satisfy my hunger for Lily's POV. Please?? It's absolutly excellent writing!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the truly lovely review, *fans face*. Lily's summer break will be coming up soon and it's about to get...um...more interesting for her. *grins*
PLEASE CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!! I THRIVE ON THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Oh, thank-you! There's a chapter in the queue awaiting validation, another two with my betas and several more in my head. I'm not going anywhere yet - Sirius won't let me!
I love it. Please update soon!
Author's Response: Thank-you. There's a few more chapters yet, don't worry.
Good chapter, Carole. I liked all the thinking going on, it gave us a nice insight into the way the characters think.
She looks nervous, he thought. - You need the first bit in italics, if it is a thought. Other things I think are thoughts, so should be italicised are:
“Salazar be praised! The great James Potter is afraid of water!”
‘Shame about the squint though.’
Those two are in quotations, but they didn’t seem spoken to me.
The practical exam over and Peter’s relief was palpable. - did you want ‘was over’? That would make more sense.
“Could be?” Sirius had said. - This didn’t seem like a question to me.
Now I’ll have to find time to read your other fic. The one chapter I’ve read seemed really good. Well done with both!
Author's Response: Thank- you for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wanted something lighthearted before the next one *hint hint* I think I'd forgotten how to format that day- oopsie!
Thats was good!
I liked your Peter in this one. Like the bit where he stood up for James. See, he was brave! I told you! Lol. I also liked the bit where James reffered to Peter as the one he expected to come after him. It shows why he trusts him so.
James was really good aswell, I really liked the part where he squeezed Peter's shoulder. It was a really small gesture, but it showed his personalitie well. I also loved the bit where he thought 'Great! I’ve got Mum’s friend, Griselda.' That shows him well aswell!
Remus was brilliant aswell. The bit where you said 'However, it wasn’t his friend, Moony, he saw before him. It was an authoritative Remus Lupin who stood there. '
It shows that there was a good reason why he was picked as Prefect. And it worked, because it would be somthing that he himself, would be unable to see!
The entire paragraph about the swimming worked so well. The charectarization of all four of them worked so well. It's exactly like what you would imagine them to be like!
Sirius was especially amazing around these parts. You highlighted his immaturaty, and slight harshness. But you also made clear his loyalness, and how good a friend he was! It was amazing. Although I suppose you would be good at writing him by now *wink wink*
Well anyway! I love it! Lol
Author's Response: Thanks Lexxyyy, I had a long big think over this chapter because of James' Boggart so I'm pleased you liked it. I like the swimming scene too because it's lighthearted and I so wish I was one of the girls at the lakeside. I'm glad you can see that Peter's not a cliche anymore. He's not just a tagalong because Sirius and James trusted him implicitly but there's so little to go on in the books. Next Chapter is The Bowtruckle Challenge and I had fun with it.
Wow, I loved your Fat Lady. What an amazing idea. I've never stopped to wonder what she would be like, if someone actually listened to her! Lol.
I love the way you charectarized Frank. Its wonderful, ad so is your poetry.
Sirius is exactly what i would have imagined him to be, although, I have to say, I can see a bit of you in him! Lol. James is also really good.
Peter however, I feel is a little cliched. I mean, he would have been just as good as his friends, albiet less talented, if he were to be such a large part of there lives. Remember, he was trusted 100% by both James and Sirius.
But like I said before, the Maruders are definatly your area!
I love your imagary though, like the dancing red hair, everything you wright, I can honestly imagine!
Andseriously! You can totally see how Comras McLaggen turned out the way he did! Lol
Author's Response: Peter is a little cliched at the moment but worry not he comes into his own in the later chapters. Thank you for my review!
Well, I'm reading (obviously) and I really like it.
At first I wondered if Remus was a little OOC, but well, with marauders, you know best!
However, I don't think McGonagall would use the word 'Stupid'. How about idiotic?
I loved the way you spoke of Promfrey, and I think that it would be so likely for her to have been like that.
I also love the way you referred to Harry, and the memory. That was genius! hehe.
Well, all in all, I think your writing is amazing, as is your story. So well done!
Author's Response: Thank you LeXXXXXYYYYYYY, Hmmm a few people have said that about McGonagall whereas I saw her saying that. I also figured that Remus woud flip once in a while especially after a careers talk. Glad you liked my Harr appearance - it had been buzzing around for ages ever since I read SWM. Ta lots Carole xxx
Carole! You couldn’t resist the poetry *shakes head* Ah well, you’ve certainly got a well characterised Sirius and James. I also like your Fat Lady. It’s nice to see her a bit more in depth.
You two haven given me more grief than the rest of Gryffindor put together.
Did you mean ‘have’?
“We messed up. We’ve screwed up Gryffindors chances for the House Cup and I’m sorry for you, Frank. It must mean a lot to the Head Boy to win it.
You need the speech-marks at the end of this sentence.
I like your reference to the memory in DH. Nice touch.
Dugbog? Again … there’s a lot of recurrences going on in the last few bits of writing I’ve read that you’ve written - lol. :D
“I thought we were a team. If any one person won us the cup it certainly wasn’t you with your morale-destroying team talks.
You need speech marks again.
Also, nice reference to the Mclaggens.
Another great chapter, Carole. I can’t wait to see more :)
Author's Response: Goodness I can't believe I missed so many speech marks. Will rectify now. I'm glad you enjoyed my Fat Lady. Actually a large part of her was down to my first beta Lyrastearsx who suggested I expand her- Thank-you Lyra. McLaggen may return- heh heh- as well as Sirius poetry- you know I can't resist and The Fat Lady. Lots more to go. Chapter 3 "A Wand, a Boggart and a Wager" is in the queue. Hmmm Dugbogs- Methinks I am obsessed. Thank-you so much for the review.
Wonderful story! The outburst from Remus was good- when he started talking, I hoped that he would say something about 'it doesn't matter, I'll never be employed anyway!' I'm sure that he said that a lot while he was at school.
Author's Response: Thank-you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I didn't want Remus to be a total goody-goody. I've always wondered what career McGonagall could possibly have told him to pursue.
I enjoyed that chapter, and look forward to reading the rest. I like your take on Peter's characterisation, and it'll be nice to see how you develop that. I thought Remus' outburst was a bit OOC at first, but then I remembered how he tried to run out on Tonks, and I realised, maybe not. And I like the reason why James' stopped bullying Snape. I think it's a really nice idea.
“Your stupid stunt today has cost Gryffindor fifty house points and has probably lost us the House Cup. You had better think of some way to make up those points, otherwise Ravenclaw will win again, and that will not make me happy!” She looked at them briefly then waved her hand impatiently. “Go on! Get out of here.”
I never thought of McGonagall as the sort to be that competitive (except in Quidditch haha). In PS/SS she takes 150 points from the Trio, and shows nothing except her anger at them being out of bed. I think she'd be very much the same in this situation. Also, I don't think she'd use the word "stupid". Though "stunt" is a good way to describe it.
Well done! :)
Author's Response: OOOH My first review. Thank-you for the copmments. I take your point about McGonagall but I've always thought of her as competitive plus what angered her about this incident was that they were bullying Snape and that's not how Gryffindors should behave. I'm glad you liked this chapter- there's alot more to come! .