Because I view Snape as a possessive, jealous, bitter, vindictive yet witty a**hole, I totally love your characterization. He is vicious but doesn't want Lily to see him as such. In my opinion, you've pegged him perfectly in this story.; It's in-character that he stole the broom and was going to try and place hexes on it in order to sabotage James and take him off his high-horse.
But he still had a part of him that wanted to turn over the broom. Hmm, it's your story but I think that if Snape returned the broom it was because he wanted Lily to know that he had the broom because in his mind he probably thought it would show that he finally bested James. He wouldn't have counted on Lily viewing his actions as criminal or totally inappropriate.
Author's Response: Yep, you're right. Remember though, that's what Lily thinks, perhaps she's wrong... Actually, I do try and write Snape with an occasional redeeming feature. If he'd always been that petty and vindictive then I think Lily would have fallen out with him a lot earlier. Thank you very much for the review. Carole xxx
It'll have to be gushing praise...
Author's Response: Thank you *blushes*
Wonderful reading.Thank you. Perfect characterisation, intriguing plots & subplots, & a big dollop of humour (shrinking Violet, nervous Mc Gonnagal, the GeeGees) - what more can one ask for?!
Author's Response: YIKES!! Thank you for the praise. It'll be hard to keep it going now. *hides under blanket* Seriously, I'm really pleased you're enjoying the story and thank you so much for sparing the time to review.
I'm having a whale of a time reading this! Terrific!
Author's Response: I'm really please you're enjoying it. I have a lot of fun writing it, despite the headaches that those Marauders give me. Thank you for reviewing.
well in my opinion this chapter is brilliant...i love it! Especially the bit about Sirius and James and also abt James n Lily, it was sweet...update soon..... im looking forward to read the next chapter.... cant wait!!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm getting on with the next chapter now... I promise.
wow! Gr8 vhapter i really loved it! Im soooooo glad u updated cuz i really enjoy this story! Update again soon plz! I really like peter in this and im kinda scared to c wut will happen with him... Keep writing!
Author's Response: I'm pleased you like Peter. It's such a shame he turned to the dark side. *sigh* I almost don't want it to happen... but that would be AU.
Thank you for the review. Carole xxx
7th yr if I remember correctly
Author's Response: Weeeeeellll, Yes it is seventh year according to Sirius and Remus *winks*. HA!
Nice little understated hints here, like all the people in denial about certain things: James obviously ignoring the fact of his mother's illness, and Lily trying to pretend she isn't becoming attracted to James, etc. The hints of Death Eater activity are a nice coda to that, as the teenagers are still mostly living oblivious teenager lives even as dark clouds gather around them.
I think you do a very good job characterizing the Marauders. (Of course, I did not miss Sirius's girlfriend in this chapter! >:D) Poor Remus -- do his parents really expect him to go through life alone and celibate? Of course his "condition" is going to complicate any relationship, and turn away a lot of potential partners immediately, and he does need to be honest with them at the appropriate time, but don't they think he can at least go on a few dates?
Coming up with wizarding equivalents for Muggle expressions can add flavor to a story, but... "diricawls and the doxies" just didn't work. (It's not like there aren't birds and bees in the wizarding world too.)
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I had to have a girlfriend for Sirius - at least for a while - but at least she isn't called Serephina Dulcetta Mongolia-Grey - LOL. She's a bit giggly at the moment (she's only fifteen, after all) but she should mature a bit. Remus makes me feel sad, too. I think his mum just wants him to be honest - but he just wants to forget for a while.
Aww, I liked 'diricawls and doxies' but you could be right.
Thanks again. Carole xxx
Maybe she's a victum of DE's? Yup, I think she did and that might just be a start.
Author's Response: OOOOH, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong. I'm glad you're guessing. Hmmm,now I'm very fond of canon so would I have James and Lily dating in year 6?
If she's muggleborn maybe the Auror's charms drove her folks away? Or there really was DE activity and they snatched her before entering the Platform???
Oh, and Lily certainly is warming up to James... or perhaps 'de-drozing'.
Away I'm sure young Lily's mystery crush will soon be revealed as say... new Defense teacher??
I have to say, my heart's in pain for poor old Remus. I fear his first love will come out as a tragedy, especially given the way you've characterized his dad... Poor darling, all he wants is a bit of average in his life!
As for Petey, I thought it was very intelligent and interesting to have him meet and interact with Crouchy Jr. like that... I would certainly not put it past him to lure Peter in to the dark side out of spite (for having a mum that puts work back for him...)
BTW, that comment "And Barty wasn’t reallythat bad, he supposed, for a Slytherin." YET is the key missing word in the sentence I guess... I was grinning like chesire from wonderland when I read it!
It is a big relief that Minerva chose to lie to James about his broom. And that he bought it.... As for the adorable lover-boy, I'm worried about his mum, too. But given his actions during breakfast I'm thinking he's more in denial about her Mum's illness than anything else.
On a more critical note, I noticed you felt out Lily's departure from home... It might have been interesting. I would have supposed her family went with the Snapes, since they lived close by and they were (or used to be) friends. It would have been cool to see Petunia throwing a fit over wizards...
Anyway, ubber thrilled you updated this fic. Kuddos for an interesting chapter that hints up on what is likely to go on in the future... Can't wait to read on!
Please update again soon!!!
Author's Response: I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to respond to your amazing review. Very slack of me - I usually respond straight away. I really like how you're decifering the story ... possibly correctly ;-). James certainly is in deniel, poor love but it's poor old Remus who I feel most sorry for. *sighs as she loves her Remus*.
I take yor point about Lily and Snape's journey to King's Cross. It could have been interesting but I was trying to focus more on my boys because Lily had hogged the last three chapters. Thanks again for reviewin. Carole xxx
AH! No, you must write more! Quick fast! Speedy quick! Go, go, go!
Author's Response: Your wish is my command! Next chapter should be here soon (ish). Than-you for the review, I'm so pleased you're enjoying the story.
Another great chapter... For me the best was the Snape's part; Lily calling him a coward just as Harry does in the last part of HBP was the perfect end. I wonder how far are you planing to go with this story??? Until 7th year or beyond that??? Please try to update soon!! =)
Author's Response: At the moment I have plans to the end of Hogwarts and no furthur. Having said that, I've always been fascinated by Peter's betrayal so I might have to carry on. Thank you so much for the review. I'm so pleased you're enjoying it. Carole xxx
=) i really liked this chapter!~ and i hope we'll be seeing more of Rich soon although something just seems off with him..i hope he's not bad news!
and about snape..well, i hope he really will own up to his fault!
Author's Response: Would I really be so mean as to introduce a character at random and then never speak of him again? Rich will turn up again, much to Lily's delight. I somehow don't think James will be impressed...
As for Snape, wait and see. Thank you so much for the reveiw. I'm pleased you're enjoying the story.
I did enjoy the chapter. Is Rich going to be teaching at Hogwarts this year? He's not an Animagus who becomes an owl by chance? Nah, that would be way to bizarre.
I don't really feel sorry for Snape here. He's made his bad choices and will have to face the consequences until he realizes what his choices and actions will cost.
Can't wait for 6th year to start.
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the chapter. As for Rich, hmmmmm, you'll have to wait and see (Rich/Snitch)- I'm teasing. The owl is a real owl. Carole xxx
So this Rich character seems interesting, charming and slightly fishy, I have to admit.
It's not gold all that shines... Drop dead gorgeous and all. And he was also seeking for Slythy's brithplace I pressume, as he was a wizard. You did not make any coments about his approximate age, did you?
As for what we learn about Jame's accident, well, it was to be expected that dear old Snapey had something to do with it. I do like Sev inspite of everything. He's one of the most tragical and strong characters of the books, his life has been even nastier than Harry's and after Dumbledore's death he was confined to the core of the Death Eaters, no way out and hated by everyone for a crime he did not quite commit. (Meaning Albus wanted to be killed and was going to die anyway...)
I think your story is the perfect prequel to the cannon series. You might want to give Rowling one or two tips! Hehehe! Learning about that nasty trick from Snape and his friends was what Lily needed to really cut the bond. To see exactly what Sev was toying with. (I never really bought that a single 'mudblood' was all that took for a seven-year-long friendship to end, c'mon!)
Also, it helps explain why was Snape so 'determined' to save Harry during SS! Not olny his Dad had saved Sev when he got cold feet during that prank... He was also awful guilty for nearly killing James afterwards!!!
Even so, I think Lily needs some more convincing... Maybe I'm just too forgiving, but I'd still try to give him a had and make Snapey make peace with The Force! Hehehe!
Kudos for a great chap!! =)
Author's Response: Thank you for the fabulous review. I'm fanning my face at your compliments. WOW! I think I said Rich was early twenties and yeah, fairly gorgeous (think Nick Stokes in CSI but not Texan.) I'm glad you picked up that he was fishy... Hmmm, Lily and Snape. I hate the way he treats Neville later, I can't get past that. However, I'm firmly of the opinion that Lily would never have been romantically involved with him. I think the Charms incident from first year has changed her view slightly.
Thank you again.
It's nice that Lily has her first crush, perhaps a true rival for James although it did occur to me that James is good at Transfiguration.
I liked the scene with Lily and Sev. Since I'm reading alot of AU stories were they get back together it was a bit confusing. I do remember, however, Sev lying, when he says he didn't know James couldn't swim. Good reality point for those readers who want Sev to get back with Lily.
Thanks for updating.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. James and Transfiguration eh? Good thinking... but I'm not that devious. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.
I liked Peter's presence in this chapter, but the dialog between Lily and Snape was the best part. And there was a critical point here, where everything would have changed if one person had made a different choice: Lily's refusal to forgive Snape. It was touching, though I'm not sure I liked it, as in a way, it sort of shifted the blame onto her; if she had softened her heart a little, Snape might still have been saved. Personally, I think Snape was already too far gone by that time, and I doubt he'd have still begged her for forgiveness.
Rich the random (stereotypical and obnoxious ) American (who just happens to be a wizard) was kind of annoying, though.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked Lily and Snape. Peter's someone I'm building up slowly as well as Remus who hasn't had much impact so far.
Apologies about the random American. He's not totally random though but I agree he's annoying. He's American because to a teenage girl in 70's Britain (and 80's I should add) being American was really quite cool and glamourous until we discovered politics. Is he obnoxious? Watch this space - he may get even more annoying.
And yet again LOL!!!
You're a gem! You know it right???
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm very pleased you're enjoying this. Carole xxx
How do you do it!? This grand finales you write!! It's amazing! You like me thirving for more!!
Congrats on the (un)expected twist! I had always wondered how was it that Lilly had the 'click' that made her see James under a different light! You gave it here! The fact that Lily saved him from a horrible death, the one he wrost feared in a muggle way is the cherry that tops the icecream!!
Kudos! Double kudos! Bravo!!
Author's Response: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My cheeks hurt from grinning so much at your reviews. This chapter was one I couldn't wait to write. There's a few more 'clicks' for Lily to go through before she starts to see him romantically. Carole xxx
“Moony, put that girl down! We’ve got work to do.”
LOL!!!!!!! A lot!
GREAT chapter! I loooove this story! The Wager! Great one!
And Lily's coment about James and failure! Marvellous! I love your conversations! :)
Author's Response: OOOH, you've made my day. That line of Sirius' to Remus is my favourite in that chapter. I still chuckle a bit when I think of it. Plus I really was to be one of the girls on the bank. Thanks Carole xxx