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Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 16:01 · For: Chapter 12 - Family Ties
Hm. Mr. Prewett seems to be a little mix of Percy and the twins, though leaning much more towards Percy. He let the Sirius and Snape duel go a little too far, I think, but probably broke the rules by telling Sirius about what happened. I can't decide whether I like him or not at this point, because I think he had figured out what was going on, but for some reason let it happen anyway. He at least should have caught Sirius from bashing his head!

It was obvious Snape was looking for revenge from the SWM scene, though Sirius' reaction must have made him just as angry, as he took in stride. It made me smile when Snape gave his answer (and Fabian gave his reply) because it echoes Hermione's reply to the same question years later. Snape is scornful then, and therefore this scene would make him hypocritical.

Lily and James discussion of sneaking into the boys/girls dormitories is another lovely development in their relationship. Having her casually mention she'd stolen all of his chocolate frogs probably made him love her all the more, and his respect go up for her; when his friends find out, they will no doubt respect her more. I think he integrated the MWPP insights extremely well, because there was no palpable shift in her character at this point, but just a nice development of their relationship that is now being enhanced.

REMUS!!! Oh, Remus. Please, tell her. She is a smart girl, and as your friends have already figured out, she'll probably figure it out on her own if you wait to long. And that would be much worse. She's already probably thinking bad things about you, and will have an attitude similar to your friends - she sees the way they treat you, and they've known for a while. She's a smart girl, Remus. Do the right thing.


Author's Response: Amanda, I never replied to your lovely review ... I'm sorry. I'm glad you picked up on Snape and Hermione's similar answers - yeah, he's a hypocrite but also I think he had mugged up from the textbook so knew exactly what Hermione had been doing. Don't write off Fabian yet ... that's all I'll say. Remus should tell her, shouldn't he - ridiculous boy!

Name: Karaley Dargen (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 15:51 · For: Chapter 13 The Full Moon
WOW Carole!

There were so many great things about this chapter. First of all – your characterisation here was genius. James, who doesn't entirely understand Remus' problems, but tries to cheer him up in a way, Sirius, who of course thinks he can do it no matter what everyone says. James and Sirius who (at the end) prefer talking about Lily and plotting than being concerned about what happened just before. Peter, who worries a lot – about the others, about Remus, about Sirius, about where he stands in the group, about what just happened outside...

Then, how much thought you put into the details. From the bandage around Sirius' head to Martha and Lysander, and that James wouldn't fit through the tunnel as a stag – brilliant.

And then there's so many intriguing things about this chapter! Like, what is it between Professor Prewett (tee hee) and Madam Pomfrey? And WHO was the mystery man in the forest! I do hope that your story takes up right there with the next chapter and doesn't switch to another POV... if I have to wait long for this, I might just kidnap you and force it out of you. (JK!!! if you do write fast...)

I think that this might be one of the most climatic/suspenseful (is that a word?) chapters you've written for this story so far. Also, your description, especially the little bits within the dialogue, are amazing. I also loved how you backtrack between the chapters (to the previous chapter and the conversation between James and Lily).

Ooh I need more now! I might just reread the whole story, Amanda inspired me... haha :D


Author's Response: Kara, I never responded to your review. Sorry, my love. Thanks as ever for the kind words and encouragement. I will update as soon as physically capable (Nano obsessed atm). Hmmm, which POV next? Sheall I tell you .... NO! Although I can tell you that the mystery man won't be a mystery for too much longer. Poppy and Fabian may just be friends ... or .... nope, lips are sealed. Thanks again. ~Carole~

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 15:29 · For: Chapter 11 - Potent Potions
Oh, I forgot to comment about Fabian Prewett in the last chapter! Here is my analysis before I read chapter 11 - he is definitely more like the twins. Okay, that's my prediction before I read, I actually have work now but I want to finish these chapters! But I see that I won't be able to find out until at least the next chapter…

I like the relationship you've developed between James and Sirius. Sirius has a maturity to him that you don't always see in MWPP stories; he has been defying his family from a very early age to know that, before he even makes it to Hogwarts, just from something inside him, that what his family is telling him is wrong. I foresee a meeting between Regulus and Sirius that doesn't go very well…and a guilt-stricken Sirius. Poor Sirius lives with so much guilt in Azkaban, it is a wonder he is as normal as he is during OOTP and GOF.

Oh, the Amortentia potion. Poor moony James at least realizes he smells Lily, unlike his dotty son years later. And moonstruck bookworm Remus, worrying about what he smells! It was rather cute, actually, that he was worried she'd be made that he didn't smell her like she might hope.

And that American? Poor James, now he's becoming a distraction! I wonder what happens if you only smell one thing…she is definitely infatuated with this man, and I wonder what else she smelled besides the coffee.


Author's Response: Oh, Amanda, another of your lovely reviews that I never responded to. I don't think Sirius is ever really back to normal - certainly in OOTP he's referred to as smelling strongly of Firewhisky *sigh*. I think there's always something dark about Mr Black - even before Azkaban. The American ... now then .. he will shortly be returning. I know I've said that a lot ... but I promise - he'll be there. Thanks again ~Carole~

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 15:09 · For: Chapter 10 Caught in the Crossfire
Sonia was acting very strange, though we haven't had a chance to get to know her character very well, so it might not be very strange for her at all. Maybe I'm reading too much into her reaction, but I'll be keeping my eye on her. I guess we'll see what happens in more detail when Phyll gets back.

The scene on the train was so sad in many ways. Once again they are being forced to grow up - friends and family confronting each other in painful and harsh ways that sixteen year olds shouldn't have to experience. I think Severus is reaching the point of delusion (which I always thought he was in the books, I feel like he was friends with Lily for so long and he never really knew who she was) by thinking that she would be his friend for the things that he did rather than who he was. He is so blinded by what he believes and by his influences that he can't understand why she doesn't feel the same.

The scene between James and Snape outside McGonagall's office was the icing on the cake - for James - and the final lid on the coffin - for Snape. It was so subtly and nicely played out. Lily says what she's knows will hurt Snape, but she doesn't really give James any overt ideas either; James was so mature, here, though Lily didn't see him being the bigger man and only subtly rubbing it in.

The difference in Regulus from the last time we've seen him is alarming and sad. I was surprised at Sirius' apparent shrug-off of it, as he seemed quite close to his brother, but that might also be because, well, he's Sirius. He doesn't seem to be the type to wear his emotions on his sleeve other than anger and other bold emotions; no vulnerability. I hope we see something of this later, as, while I think he was honest in saying that he really didn't care if his family wrote him off, I think he would care if his brother stopped caring for him and suddenly went off the deep end, especially if he thinks his leaving might have in any way instigated that.

I haven't commented on this yet, but I like that you've started the development of the War reaching Hogwarts and Lily and James' relationship in year six. It allows them to form a friendship rather than a too quick jump into a relationship from hate to love. They are becoming affected by the war around them as well now, and I'm interested to see how that unfolds.


Author's Response: Hmmm, Sonia ... strange ... poor girl. She's just a bit teenagey I think. And we all know what they can be like. Umm, I'm responding to this one straight away (and with no real depth) because I wanted to let you know that Sirius hasn't just dismissed Regulus ... it does come up a bit later in the fic ... Umm - Family ties, I think.

I really do appreciate all these reviews - it's nice to see your thought process as to how the characters have evolved. Now, I have to find a spare day to reply - hee hee. ~Carole~

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 14:31 · For: Chapter 9 Journeys to King's Cross
Oh my, I'm already on Chapter 9! *giggle* I hope I'm not overwhelming you with all of these reviews. :)

The format of this chapter was a great way to juxtapose the differences in the four boys' lives, as well as to show just how much of a sanctuary Hogwarts is for them. I thought the scene with Peter was the most enlightening; his mother obviously loves him very much, but he sees her getting manipulated and fawning over someone he doesn't think is worthy of her, and it bothers him deeply. It is ironic that this is his mothers' position, given his own position in his group of friends, and probably the reason why any pity directed his way bothers him so much.

James' home life is not as picture perfect as it seems, and it adds more depth to Sirius' character that he notices things that James does not. James might have built up this perfect life in his mind, and maybe even if he knows something is wrong with his mother, he's denying it to himself.

Remus just has pressure from all sides telling him how he won't be able to function as a normal person because of his problem. I bet he is so ridiculously thankful for his friends, who are barely concerned that he's a werewolf; its something they joke about, something they unfailing support him every week, something they don't think twice about anymore. It's completely in the background in their eyes, and they don’t see him as any different. He's the lucky one with the girl, now! But the teachers and the parents (aside from Dumbledore) as dogging him down, and he's fighting against it. Imagining his parents like this makes it no wonder that he clicked so well with Harry when Harry doesn't understand why being a werewolf would hold him back for any reason.

I wonder if Lily is noticing the shift from "Potter" to "James" as much as everyone else is. And I don't think we've seen the last of Mr. Mysterious Handsome Rich…


Author's Response: I b29; you, Amanda. That's an inadequate and way over due response you your wonderful reviews, but I'm bad at playing catchup. Thanks again ~Carole~

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 13:53 · For: Chapter 8 - Slythy Fen.
I love that her friends almost completely ignored what she said and latched onto what they wanted to hear from it, lol. And that she chucked a biscuit at them. It made me giggle.

I don’t blame Mary for being skeptical, as Rich does sound a little too good to be true, but he also sounds quite dreamy, lol. I don't know what girl wouldn't be a little infatuated, with the nickname and the note and the literal sweeping-of-the-feet.

I thought the scene between Lily and Peter was quite touching; her understanding of his role among the friends was a kind of sad foreshadowing when you know what is to come later. Peter is also going through his own development, no longer wanting to be pitied as such anymore.

Oh, the irony of having her own named Snitch. I just can't wait for James' reaction.

But Snape's reaction…was predictable but still sad. It seemed she didn't mean to say it's name, because she knew how he would react as well. That whole scene by the river was really good, because not only was it written nicely, it accomplished several things. We get to see more progression into their relationship and its severing, but we also see Lily taking further steps into her reconciliation with James, steps she doesn't seem to realize until she says them outloud to Snape. Calling him James, for example, or being defensive about her relationship with him - those are things that wouldn't have happened in the past. The fact that she understood what Snape was doing but wouldn't back down on her convictions - it did make me feel a little sorry for Snape, but at the same time, her revelation that he care more about his friends feeling than hers, someone he's known so much longer, was important in her determination not to give in to him, I think. And you illustrated all of this quite well.


Author's Response: There are so many of your reviews that I never responded to. Ha, I rememeber this day, you reviewed my entire fic ... *sigh*. I love how in your reviews you managed to pick out all the bits I wanted to get picked out. Hope this is a lucid response as I really am grateful for your thoughts ~Carole~

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 13:24 · For: Chapter 7 - Treacle Tart and Quidditch.
I'm falling into a pattern: I reach the end of the chapter before I realize it.

Gushing praise is all I've got for this. I just love the interaction between these people. Sirius and Martha are just cute as buttons. James' father is devilishly charming. Mary is quite an enigma, and her line of “And that,” Lily thought she heard Mary whisper to Sirius, “is the body language you should be looking out for, Mr Black!” made me smirk. Poor Lily seems like she's starting to get confused by her feelings for James, and James seems to be getting bitter by his own feelings. He wants so very badly to have her understand him, or to not be in love with her, but as they keep lashing out at each other as old habits die hard, the bitterness is there, and it is confusing her even more.

Hm, that's not even a review, that's more of an interpretation of your characters thus far, lol. I don't really have anything else to add that I didn't say in the last chapter about your extraordinary ability to make the scene just flow so naturally. As this chapter was dialogue intensive, it would apply in an even bigger way here. I could picture the scene effortlessly; I didn't get hung up on what was happening or where they were or anything; it all made sense and just flowed. I didn't want to stop reading, and I really can't wait to see more of Lily and James sort out their feelings. I'm glad they are developing slowly like this. I think meeting his parents did a great deal in that development, as well as hearing her friends scoff of her opinion.

The information about James and Lily's first encounter in Charms, and how Snape twisted against James, was very telling about all three characters. I think that moment, above all, shocked her into changing her way of thinking. It helped shaped her thinking of James from the very start, and as she herself thought, why hasn't she thought these things about Sirius or Remus? Why always James? She knows there's always been something about him, but instead of negative, her thoughts are now confused and slowly turning positive. It's deliciously good reading.


Author's Response: Ahhh, what a lovely review, and I never responded. I'm so slack. Thank you very much for this, Amanda. I had this chapter in mind for a long time, so I'm pleased it worked for you. ~Carole (who will update fairly soon)~

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 13:00 · For: Chapter 6- Godric's Hollow.
Oh, man, I didn't even stop to write anything, I just swallowed this chapter right up.

Okay, I know there were some intelligent things I wanted to say, rather than, "Oh it was good!" *Goes back to read…*

Lily reacted very similar to how I would have *blush* to the Severus situation, so I empathized with her on all counts - avoiding talking about the feelings she had suspicions of, and staying inside to avoid running into him. Though, based upon how she reacted in the flashbacks we see (Confronting Snape outside the portrait hole, yelling at James, etc.), I'm not sure that she would have. I'm conflicted on how I feel about this, actually, if she would have hidden inside her house for fear of running into him. But, I don’t see anything wrong with what was written here, so…hmm. Now I'm not making any sense! Too many reviews in one day! AAH!

I just adore your dialogue. It feels so natural to read. It's the simple things: The way you mix the body language with the dialogue tags, the way you mix names with pronouns…it's all balanced so nicely. Everything just flows. And I can picture it just so nicely.

The Potters' - they are just darling. Their house is not dramatically overstated, but it is obvious James is loved dearly and taken care of. Poor Lily, she just seems swept into this situation, overwhelmed by hospitality, lol. I can imagine her sitting at the table, turning red, putting her head in her hands as James and Sirius talk about her and come bursting into the dining room. And then James! His heart probably stopped. It was wonderful! Oh Sirius indeed, hahaha. Love for this whole last scene. When you read a scene and just smile throughout and eat it all up, that's so good. And I don't even know why I liked it so much, so this isn’t even very helpful. I could just picture it, and I wanted to read the next chapter immediately.


Author's Response: Thank you, Amanda, for this review (I have been most tardy in replying). I had a fair bit of criticism over this one because apparently Old People aren't interesting. Hmm, but they do exist - and VV - the mod loved them so we're in good company. I also loved Sirius at this point because he's just so very tactless - a total teenage boy - LOL. Thaks again ~Carole~

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 12:39 · For: Chapter 5 - An Intriguing Muggle Girl.
Oh, what a fitting song! Though, I'm sure you know this already. :) I can imagine Sirius, rebelling like this, rolling up his pants and singing the latest Muggle hit. It's such a defiant, rebellious picture. It was interesting to Sirius so out of his league with a Muggle girl, when he is usually the confident one, making people shy. It seemed that he was confused and not even very interested in anything she was doing, but found her very attractive and rebellious as well, and clung to what she was offering. It made her even more attractive.

I also liked the blushing, hesitant Sirius. Much of what he does is bluffing, reputation building. He's frequent talk - this girl just jumps right in and breaks down all of his barriers because she doesn't have any clue who he is. The contrast to lonely, rebellious Sirius to his flashback is sharp, and reminiscent of Harry at times.

The scene in Grimmauld Place was frightening, and wonderfully written. I love the relationship you've developed between the brothers. They are drifting apart but Reg still cares for him, a great deal by this scene. Influenced by the alcohol, having driven his mother so far…I can understand why Sirius ran away. I hope the Reg didn't face too much from his mother after Sirius left, and that Sirius trusted his brother to tell him where he was going.

Summer at the Potters! Yea! Though it's obviously not going to be fun and games, by the tone of this chapter, which was great to read.


Author's Response: Ahh, that song. I have to thank my brother in law for suggesting it. And then when I thought about it, The Boys are back in town just fitted Sirius and his ganmg so perfectly! See, I'm respoonding to reviews tonight *phew*

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 12:19 · For: Chapter 4 - The Bowtruckle Challenge
Oooh, Peter came up with the idea. "Bowtruckle." "Bless you." Heehee. But seriously, he wanted to come up with it, so he did the research, and they embraced his idea. And called him a genius. I thought the whole scene was a brilliant characterization of the Maurauders. All the way, everyone one of them. I read it twice, it made me all bubbly inside. Peter felt like an equal. He was joking with them about Sirius, and thought all the angles through, he made them drag it out of him, enjoying the spotlight, etc. They made fun of him and each other, etc. Oh, delicious goodness.

Oh, Snape. Throwing a wrench in things, eh? Was he the reason that James was hit in the face? I don't know the extent of the power of the Bowtruckle, but it seemed a little fishy to me.

And I am digging both Mary and Martha McDonald. Her smirking and making him "figure out she exists"…cheeky girl, it sounds like. And it sounds like she keeps placing herself in his path, lol.

It was beautiful that it was bittersweet for James to realize he was in love with Lily, rather than a shining, glorious moment. It felt…real. Because the poor boy thinks that she will never ever feel the same way for him, and therefore he is resigned to the way he feels, and is sad about it, rather than embracing it. His scene in the hospital was heartbreaking, but I don't expect Lily to embrace him just yet because of this one incident - her awkwardness is quite touching though, because he is obviously much more vulnerable, and she doesn't quite know what to do

I like how you interweave exposition throughout. For example, how Sirius feels about Lily - we don't really know until he is watching her in the bed, and he reflects on this. And it is important because of Sirius and James' relationship. And Lily telling her story to the boys explains how she was able to save James, and it wasn't a paragraph to us, the reader; it was woven in a much more interesting way through the dialogue.

Sirius and Madame Pompfrey make me giggle.

I'm interested to see where this story goes after this chapter…their summer holidays, separate but growing? Or does it jump? I'll find out…in a few second, lol.


Author's Response: Ah well, you know now what happened over summer (the glamorous Rich appeared!) Thanks for these reviews, Amanda. I remmeber at the time giggling all day. ~Carole~

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 11:51 · For: Chapter 3 - A Wand, a Boggart and a Wager.
Oh, I was so happy to see that James would have thought Peter would have come to comfort him in the bathroom. And stand up for Remus to Snape when he degrades him - valiantly. And they helped him before the exam. I don't think I'll ever be able to write a believable Peter as well as you, especially during the Maurader years, but it is always nice to see someone do it.

I feel like you really understand Sirius. There are some points where he feels too violent, too extreme - but I think its right. His upbringing, I think, showed him what he didn't want to be, but at the same time he responds similarly. His family is disrespectful towards what they don't agree with, and we see Sirius showing the same behavior, just towards those that we would tend to agree with - those with the Dark Magic, on the other side. It is just more violent and extreme that it needs to be. He is fighting them with their own brand of darkness. And due to this he's already somewhat emotionally stunted; he doesn't "do" emotion, even with his friends. He does action and jokes and pranks. And revenge.

I must say he was a tad cliché, but oh so humorous to read when he was thinking about the girls physical traits. "Oh, she's got something nice…oh, but that other quality, that's too bad." Heehee.

I thought James' internal fight about Snape's wand was played out very nicely. For a second, nothing's changed, and I don't even know if Sirius realizes that things have changed. And we see that even if they thing James just has a crush on Lily, he really does like her, to almost go against his friend like that just because Snape insulted her. He made it clear in the last chapter he'll never forgive Snape for that.

They all seemed to grow up for a second watching the spell. It was a nice moment. It was an unfortunate moment, because they probably all grew up faster than they should have those last few years at Hogwarts with moments like that, with Voldemort gaining power.

"Sirius looked him straight in the eye." When I read this, I was reminded of our characterization class, and how we've been talking about body language. It's obvious here that Sirius looked at him as a gesture of truth, because it was important to James that they hadn't done anything. The same thing with James trying to laugh about Lily hating him a few paragraphs later - it is probably a forced sounding laughter, as that is obviously not a situation he finds amusing.

Remus is so noble. You are making me fan-girl Remus - stop that!

I have to say - I love love love the flashback scene. Sirius opening up about his family and teaching James to swim was so touching. And helps to solidify their friendship in ways they don't have with the other boys.

I wonder if Snape realizes he's such a person of contradictions. He loves Lily to distraction, though he doesn't realize she's the type of person he loathes. He admires Shakespeare enough to memorize and quote him, and then talks of how Shakespeare admired and lived among Muggles. And he hasn't taken responsibility for any of his own actions, so far placing all of the blame on James.

How could James resist such a challenge? Thankfully, there is no wait for me to see what happen… :D


Author's Response: OY! Stay away from Remus - he's mine. Thank for for complimenting me on Sirius, I do think he can be quite extreme ... and that's the main difference between him and James. About him noticing Phyllida's attributes and flaws - not sure it's that much of a cliche - don't all boys do that (and vice versa)?

Hmm, I can't do your review justice with my response, but needless to say, I am very grateful that you're reading, enjoying and reviewing. ~Carole~

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 11:23 · For: Chapter 2- Advice From The Fat Lady
Oh, the politics of the portraits of Hogwarts make me laugh. Especially when the Fat Lady claimed she wasn't "one to gossip". Right. Which the boys completely exploited, lol.

There are just little touches here and there that are delightful characterization tools. For Sirius, for example: "The dead, so revered by his mother, did not concern him." "Sirius thought it very like the atmosphere at Grimmauld Place whenever he walked into a room." We already know he is falling out with his family; he not only doesn't agree with their viewpoint, but these casual offhand remark makes it seem like he doesn't respect their beliefs either.

The entire scene with Frank Longbottom was just delightful. The dialogue was great - it made the boys sound a little like gossiping girls, but in a good way (er, don't know if that makes sense). And "Ahem, Fat Ladies present." Oh, man. They are gossiping old ladies; all three of them, standing around the portrait hole. It was such a fun scene to read, and very easy to read, as well. James and Sirius reminded me a bit of Harry and Ron, actually, as they pretended not to laugh at the Fat Ladies tales. In a good way.

I didn't know the end of the little diddy Sirius sang about Sonia. Is that a British thing? Or…something I should know about as a married woman but I'm not making the connection? :o

Hmm. "Wormy" made me cringe a little. But somehow the irony that he tried to date Alice Longbottom made me laugh and sad, at the same time. Does that make sense? He seems a bit cliché in this chapter (which, depending on when this was written, you might already know. Hm.) He is in awe of their skills and they are irritable with him. But enough about Peter. It doesn't detract from the story and I won't mention him again unless it is glowing praise.

Oh, can we have of Frank? Strictly rhetorical, as I'm about to read the already published other 11 chapters or something like that. But he was wooing his woman, and then being a fairly great Head Boy it seemed, choosing to stay in the dorm with his friends, making it clear that he's already tried several times to discipline them with what authority he has…and I like that he just stared them down. Made them crack. He seems to be their friend, but also has been able to separate the authority figure out as well.

And finally…Lily. She makes her lovely debut in this chapter, as we once again get to see the other side of a scene from the HP books, and it is how I imagined the scene to be played out. Poor, poor James. I admire his self-control to just watch her all night, but I do think it's realistic that is in fact what he did. His speech to McLaggen - brilliant, and it shows a wonderful side to him that I know Lily must recognize, even under all of the aspects she doesn't like.

Onward! Why haven't I read this, I'm having a great time!


Author's Response: Ahh, what a quiet day at work leads to. Thank you again, Amanda. I totally agree with you about Peter, he is a bit cliched, but he does get better. However, the thing is, he wasn't quite in their league and they did get annoyed with him ... but that's no excuse ... not really.

Sirius was going to sing 'plonker' which is an English term for either an idiot, or (in this case) a ... umm ... male appendage *blush*. Hmmm, Frank ... he may turn up again ... and so may Alice. ... you shall have to wait and see (and probably read a lot more - ha ha)

Ahh, the Fat lady - yes I love her. One day I want to write a whole fic on her ... she must have a few tales to tell. Thanks again. ~Carole~

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 10:57 · For: Chapter 1 Turning Point
So, I've been wondering why I haven't read this. Or AA, but that's for another day that I am sitting at work, being told not to do anything. (Perhaps tomorrow, bwuahaha.) And then I saw it was updated so I'm diving right in. I actually think I've read the first chapter before. *Head scratch*

Anyhoo. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant first scene. When I saw the summary, that it was going to be a version of SWM…I was prepared for some clichés. But it was marvelous. Dare I say - awesome? You didn't focus on Lily. She left immediately. The focus was on that stuff we didn't see - that stuff Remus told Harry about later. I thought it was quite touching that Snape ran after Lily without so much as looking backwards, going so far as to leave his wand. That speaks volumes as to their relationship, and I hope its going to be explored.

I gush praises everytime I read one of your stories about your characterization, and this one is no different. Playing off the SWM scene, of course, there was the appearance of McGonagall, and her interpretation of the scene - and her attempts to read the boys, most notably in Peter which was supported by her views in PoA. Sirius was much more pent-up anger than anything, but he still defers to her. And Remus, poor Remus, lol. I loved him here, "head in his book, knuckles white."

I'm not sure how I feel about Peter…at fifteen, is he so eager to receive punishment like that? I think there would be a subtle difference between wanting to support his friends and wanting to pretend he was involved, and I’m not sure if you were showing the McGonagall was misinterpreting that or if that's what you were implying.

The appearance of Harry is what I thought made this scene so brilliant. Not only is it possible that Snape pulling Harry out of the Pensieve - or even before - might have cause him to be seen by James, or any number of reasons, but because of the fact that you explored the affect it has on James. I'll have to see as I read, obviously, but this whole scene felt like it was different for James - he felt emotions he never felt before, pity for Snape and shame for himself. He doesn't even share those thoughts with his friends.

I laughed when I read about Sirius' crush on Poppy, AND then you had him blush about it! Loved it.

During Remus' outburst, I imagined that your one-shot, "Thank you for your time, Professor," inspired his anger, even though it was written much, much later. Having an outburst at the beginning of the story seemed slightly out of place, as we weren't experience angsty!Remus at all, but Dumbledore's line: "I can’t pretend that life will ever be easy for you. In the end, though, you will do your best because that’s the very essence of the person you are." Was ridiculously good. And very teenage-like of his friends to feel embarrassed and not know what to do, rather than want to comfort him or tell him things are going to be all right.

Hmmm…I hope you are prepared for a deluge of reviews from me. :) I'm sure you won’t mind.


Author's Response: Thank you, Amanda. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. I take your point with Remus and Peter ... bear in mind this was written last year and I'm not totally happy with them either. Ha ha - they've evolved so much. Remus' outburst was very much the inspiration for Thank you for your time, Professor and I hope it could be seen as a credible prologue. Lily will appear in a lot of later chapters ... and she has one or two from her POV. But she's evolving too.

Thank you again. ~Carole~

Name: The_Dream_Team (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 7:04 · For: Chapter 13 The Full Moon
WOW! gr8 chapter! i just loved it! i always feels so bad for remus when he transforms... hes so innocent. but that scene in the forest was really intense! who was the man?? and how did sirius manage to get his wand? well awesome chapter and please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I'm pleased you liked the scenes in the forest because I wasn't sure ho they'd be received. Sirius has the man's wand because as Padfoot he snatched it away from him. Carole

Name: Sapphire at Dawn (Signed) · Date: 08/31/09 7:24 · For: Chapter 2- Advice From The Fat Lady
Another great chapter. I loved the conversation with the Fat Lady; it really made me chuckle, and I like how you portray Peter, too. I think it's probably an accurate representation of how they treated him, and how he responded to them.

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. Wow! that chapter seems a long time ago. ~Carole~

Name: Sapphire at Dawn (Signed) · Date: 08/31/09 7:07 · For: Chapter 1 Turning Point
I really like this chapter, I love the slight mention of James seeing Harry, and the things it causes him to feel.

However, I thought that McGonagall's reaction was a little too calm. You have her looking furious, but then she turns sarcastic, I think that she would be incredibly angry at two of her students tormenting another like this; remember in Philosopher's Stone she was seething just because Harry, Hermione, Neville and Malfoy were out of bed. I think she'd be very very cross in this situation.

But apart from that, I really liked it, and I think you did Remus's outburst very well. I also liked the characterisation of Sirius and James as well.

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I take your point about McGonagall and if I were writing it now then I probably would have done her differently. It's funny though because I've recently been criticised ion a different story for having her lose her temper, the reviewer said she never did (hmmm, I think she does - LOL) Anyway, I appreciate the review.

Name: Artemis of Light (Signed) · Date: 08/22/09 22:28 · For: Chapter 12 - Family Ties
This has to be without a doubt one of my favorite Marauders' Era fan-fics. I especially enjoy how your character's aren't one-dimensional or the usual "marauder stereotypes". The Lily-Snape relationship is wonderful, and Mary and Martha are great. I really can't wait for the next chapter. And the next, and the next...

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I love writing this as I adore the Marauders. I'm glad you like Martha - she keeps cropping up in other fics of mine - ha ha. Carole xxx

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 08/22/09 12:42 · For: Chapter 12 - Family Ties
Ah, Carole, you made me wait :( but it was so worth it! Great job as usal. I loved the Sirius being jealus; the convo between Lily and James; well, I lik,e all of it. But musn't it vbe weitd having your cousing teach you? How well did they know each other?
And I've read a fic like that before, the birthday in foolmoon... oh boy.... they ended up breaking up..... hope you make it work! But you will :P

Author's Response: Ohhh, they don't know each other that well. I think Sirius just remembers him from a party they gatecrashed. Thanks for reviewing. Carole xxx

Name: bellatrix-black-lestrange (Signed) · Date: 08/18/09 10:26 · For: Chapter 12 - Family Ties
oh dear ! please update i can't wait to read the next chapter

Author's Response: Ahhhh! Trying hard. I've been distracted by holidays and other fics - poor Lions they have to wait a bit. Carole xxx

Name: bellatrix-black-lestrange (Signed) · Date: 08/18/09 10:07 · For: Chapter 11 - Potent Potions
I wonder if Remus smells tonks ?

Author's Response: Ahhhh. well it's changeable and she is a Metamorphmagus ... so who knows? Thank you for taking the time to read and review - I do appreciate it. Carole xxx

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