Reviewer: armagod679
Date: 11/10/08 20:48
Chapter: Chapter One, Revisited

You're scaring me. No offense, man, but it's sad when your characters are more normal than you are.

Please write more!

Author's Response:

Why, thank you! My characters are angry because they haven’t had any honey to eat, because I ate all of their bees! Bah! Normal people don’t eat honey!

Chapter Four is in the queue!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 11/10/08 20:23
Chapter: Chapter One, Revisited

Tim, I didn't think it would be possible for you to get more brilliant, but... you did it. You completely fooled me with the beginning of this chapter-- I was like, "What is this? What? This is not the Tim The Enchanter that I know!"

I should have known that you always have something up your sleeve. (Namely, your arm, and you use that arm to write WONDERFUL STORIES.)

I have to say, immature child that I am, that my favourite part was the bit with Voldemort saying, "Hey Tim – you are sexy. I want to have your babies" and all that pink flamingo-ish jazz. Though I also quite enjoyed the bit about "wild, swirling schemes of fiery rainbow vengeance."

I have to say, if this doesn't win the QSQ's for Best Humour Story next year (since it wasn't written yet at the time of this year's QSQs), I will probably cut off my own head. Very good job, as per usual.

Author's Response:

Well, hello Schmergo!

It’s good to hear from you, and now I feel guilty for not staying in touch well enough… but enough of that. Thank you for reviewing yet another absurd chapter of this story! I’m glad I threw you off in at the beginning of the chapter… brilliant, you say? Thank you, I am flattered!

And yes, who could resist an out-of-character Lord Volders? For some fifteen seconds when I was actually writing this story, I had an urge to write Git.doc complete with flamingos and Voldemort proclaiming undying love for me… but I thought better of it. Well, to tell the truth, I was just too lazy to do that, but that would be an interesting story if I ever decided to write it! Also, never underestimate the power of Skittles™. Wild, swirling schemes of fiery rainbow vengeance, indeed!

But please Schmergo, your head looks lovely in its present position – please do not lop it off! I finished writing this story in early August in order to release it in time for the 2008 Quicksilver Quills, but… I forgot about the mods. The first chapter was rejected twice before it was finally approved sometime in September (and I made ZERO changes to it!), but by then the nominations had closed. I guess I was being a little too optimistic… but wish me luck for next year! And this year too, for Out of the Darkness!

Oh yes, I forgot to mention, about that arm I use to write stories with… well, I don’t. I actually type by bashing my forehead on the keyboard. It’s the most effective way to transmit the ideas from my head to the Word file… literally!

Once again, thank you for reviewing, and watch out for the next absurd chapter!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Ava Marie
Date: 11/10/08 1:59
Chapter: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

Please note that I said that I thought it sounded like you were immature, not the story. Although you'll probably take that as a compliment :).

And I will look into your other writings, thank you.

Also, please disregard everything I say, because I am one of those people that didn't like Charlie and the Unicorn. It takes no brain to do that.

Author's Response:

Why, thank you! Everyone has their own inner ten year old, I suppose, and what appears in this story is mine! You can never take life too seriously… well, I can’t…

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: HermionesTwin_FromOz
Date: 11/09/08 1:40
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

Wow! :) I absolutely loved this! As a fellow 'Claw, I'm giving you a Turnip hug. :D

 

I love the  sarcasm (I use it a lot >.>), the silliness, the randomness and the absurdity. Why couldn't I have though of an absloutely brilliant idea like this? :D

 

I can't wait for updates! :) 

Love,

Caitlin 



Author's Response:

Ha HA! Turnipclaws of the world, unite! Thank you for reviewing and enjoying this story, Caitlin. There’s going to be a lot more silliness, randomness, and absurdity to follow in the next seven chapters, so stay tuned for the updates!

Oh yes, and good luck on any stories you happen to be writing. Rah Rah Ravenclaw!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Ava Marie
Date: 11/08/08 2:25
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

I'm sorry, but I just really don't like this much at all. Don't take this too harshly, but it sounds like you're very young and immature. Not saying that's a bad thing, but please take this to heart. I have no intention to hurt you feelings, and I'm sorry if I have. You have some potential talent, though! Don't give up!

Author's Response:

Well, if the story sounds young and immature, there’s a reason for it – after all, the story is called “The Absurd Fanfic Revolution.” I had an awful lot of fun writing this, largely because I threw all of the rules of writing fiction into the rubbish bin! The story is intended to be completely nonsensical and unrefined, which is exactly why my main characters have decided to rise up in rebellion against the author in order to live in peace as characters in a “normal” fanfic. Note that as the revolution progresses, things get much more serious, and the quality of the writing improves… a bit.

Anyway, sorry that this story is not really your cup of tea (or coffee, if you prefer), but believe it or not, I have written other stories that do take matters seriously and do not break the conventions of fiction writing or of sanity, if you’d be interested in reading them.

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Typhoeus
Date: 10/29/08 16:42
Chapter: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

Pardon me, I thought "death or haggis" was a modification of Eddie's famous "cake or death."

Eddie is a British comedian who is a lot like Monty Python, and has appeared with them a couple of times. A couple of warnings: He is a transvestite, and he swears. If you don't mind the things listed above, search for "Eddie Izzard cake or death" on Youtube. Look at the 4th vid on the search results, the one that is 2:03. Some of it won't make sense, because he is referring to stuff he said earlier in that concert. Of course, one video won't give you a good idea of his comedic style, but it will explain why I thought you were referencing him.

So, once again, sorry for my error. Glad to hear that it is written, and look forward to seeing the rest of it.

Author's Response:

Please, don’t apologise! I like it when readers find weird connections with things in my stories that I never knew existed, so thanks for pointing that out. Heh heh… “So you’re out of cake?! So what are my options then, just ‘Or death’?” Reminds me of that Monty Python sketch where the Spanish Inquisitors torture an old lady by making her sit in the dreaded “Comfy Chair.”

Thanks for reviewing (again!) and for liking this story! Chapter Three is coming soon!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: goddess of light
Date: 10/28/08 18:41
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

Hilarious! Keep it up, I'm just loving the absurdity of it all.

Author's Response:

Do not fear, fair reader! The knight in his shiny bathrobe, mounted on his illustrious one-legged hunting tortoise shall save the day and deliver Chapter Three soon at the Mods’ discretion!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Typhoeus
Date: 10/28/08 17:41
Chapter: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

I am a big fan of surrealism, and this story certainly provides. I love the Eddie Izzard reference. Please don't stop writing this.

Author's Response:

Don’t worry about me stopping the writing process of this story, because I’ve already finished it! Each chapter will be updated as quickly as the moderators review the submissions, so expect the next chapter to come smashing into the Recent Story menu in an ambiguous future time!

And as you could probably tell, writing this absurd, surreal story was immensely entertaining! I apologise for my ignorance, but who is Eddie Izzard and how did I reference him?

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Typhoeus
Date: 10/28/08 17:40
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

I like the spell to get them in the computer. And this story is still hilarious. Please keep up the good work.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review. I’m glad that you liked the computer-portal spell! There will be more stupid incantations in future chapters, so look out for them whenever this story is updated!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: IndigoPassion
Date: 10/28/08 17:20
Chapter: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

Hehe, So funny...

Your an amazing story writer, your really good at the 'hooking' thing

Heh, so heres your reveiw number one :)

-Lexxyy

Author's Response:

Well, hello Lexxyy, thanks for the review, and I’m glad you like the story so far! Also, I really appreciate your comment on the literary hook – I had a lot of fun just writing the absurd, eye-catching summary!

Chapter Three, coming soon!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Nevilles Girl
Date: 10/26/08 7:41
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

Why was I vaguely reminded of "Kill Bill (And Arthur)" halfway through this chapter?

Tim, I love you. (This is, of course, a hyperbole.) You're just fantastic. I feel very compelled to read all your other stories. (Which I promise I WILL do!)

Lookin' forward to the next chapter (and the ones following it).

Smiles,
Luna

Author's Response:

Well, hello Luna!

Thanks for reviewing and liking this story… again! Concerning Kill Bill (And Arthur), wasn’t that your co-op story with Schmergo about the parallel universe thing and the M.O.D.s and M.N.F.F.? I suppose the “all-powerful overlord” thing controlling the story might have made that connection…

And I love you too, Luna. Watch out for Chapter Three, and while you’re waiting, have fun with my other deranged creations!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: the_weird_one
Date: 10/25/08 9:13
Chapter: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

Um, just one question, Tim the Enchanter...HOW THE HECK DID THIS STORY GET ACCEPTED ON TO A GOOD, CLEAN SITE LIKE MUGGLENET.FANFICION.COM????????

I certainly don't have any idea. It is, though, quite absurd, so the title fits it quite nicely. And the adjectives...need work. No seriously, the adjectives you are employing here deserve better work than this. You can employ much better ones, I can assure you.
My only theory on how it got accepted onto mugglenet.fanfiction.com is because of pure hilarity. (is that even a word?)

Best, er, wishes,
the_weird_one

Author's Response:

I say, the_weird_one, what a denigrating and asinine review! If my disagreeable adjectives caused you sufficient offence to question how the moderators could have possibly approved my story for to this “good, clean site,” I suggest you ask them.

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Passion For Prongs
Date: 10/22/08 17:25
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

Again, this hilarious! I really hope you write more!

~Passion For Prongs

Author's Response:

Do not fear - there will be more! I've already written the entire story, and it's just a matter of how quickly the mods approve each chapter I submit. Stay tuned for more absurd revolution!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Passion For Prongs
Date: 10/21/08 16:48
Chapter: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

Omygidddygospajamas. This was HILARIOUS!!! I've never thought about what would happen if characters rebelled...that crazy Tim the Enchanter!

~Passion For Prongs

Author's Response:

Well, Tim the Enchanter (ME!) is just going to get crazier, so watch out - let’s hope our plucky protagonists overcome their author’s psychotic absurdity! Thanks for reviewing, and brace yourself for the next exciting chapter!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 10/20/08 14:28
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

TIM! As per usual, you've managed to create yet another masterpiece. I've been looking forward to this update...

The Gyffindor friends and everyone else at Hogwarts stared at that sudden spectacle, and they couldn’t have heard an atomic nuclei of argon drop (since it was a gas), that’s how quiet it was. Hmmm... I suspect Tim will be returning any second now.

Oh. Yep. Yep, I was right. I love the name Wat Tyler for a character... lots of wonderful opportunities for puns. Speaking of which, I saw a cartoon awhile ago where some people had Wat Tyler's head on a pole, and someone goes, "His head keeps slipping off! How do we fasten it back on?" And the other guy says (wait for it), "Try some POLE TACKS." Hahaha... okay, sorry.

In any case, Meagan is my favourite of the bunch, for my own nefarious reasons. And... hmmm, I'm pretty sure I know from whence the inspiration for the character John came.

By the way, I really like the way it was implied that a Galapagos tortoise with a jetpack was NOT 'something absurd.'

Poor Chris. He should get paired up with Meagan. Just saying... For some reason, I find it extremely funny that you put 'what a drip' after Alice's little paragraph. Maybe because she makes me feel incredibly guilty for creating the character of Ivy.

And now the story has taken a very, very, very creative turn. Inside your computer...? Well, I have to say, either you're a genius or you're on very strong drugs. If the latter, I'm beginning to want some. And now I can't wait to see what's in store... especially how John and Chris work together.

Author's Response:

Why, hello Schmergo!

Thank you for reviewing this thoroughly ridiculous story… again! You indeed spotted the absurd metaphor – there will be more! Speaking of arg...

WHOA! Déjŕ vu!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 10/20/08 14:19
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

TIM! As per usual, you've managed to create yet another masterpiece. I've been looking forward to this update...

The Gyffindor friends and everyone else at Hogwarts stared at that sudden spectacle, and they couldn’t have heard an atomic nuclei of argon drop (since it was a gas), that’s how quiet it was. Hmmm... I suspect Tim will be returning any second now.

Oh. Yep. Yep, I was right. I love the name Wat Tyler for a character... lots of wonderful opportunities for puns. Speaking of which, I saw a cartoon awhile ago where some people had Wat Tyler's head on a pole, and someone goes, "His head keeps slipping off! How do we fasten it back on?" And the other guy says (wait for it), "Try some POLE TACKS." Hahaha... okay, sorry.

In any case, Meagan is my favourite of the bunch, for my own nefarious reasons. And... hmmm, I'm pretty sure I know from whence the inspiration for the character John came.

By the way, I really like the way it was implied that a Galapagos tortoise with a jetpack was NOT 'something absurd.'

Poor Chris. He should get paired up with Meagan. Just saying... For some reason, I find it extremely funny that you put 'what a drip' after Alice's little paragraph. Maybe because she makes me feel incredibly guilty for creating the character of Ivy.

And now the story has taken a very, very, very creative turn. Inside your computer...? Well, I have to say, either you're a genius or you're on very strong drugs. If the latter, I'm beginning to want some. And now I can't wait to see what's in store... especially how John and Chris work together.

Author's Response:

Why, hello Schmergo!

Thank you for reviewing this thoroughly ridiculous story… again! You indeed spotted the absurd metaphor – there will be more! Speaking of argon, I don’t even think it is capable of dropping, since I believe it actually rises in air due to lesser density (argon is always alone instead of in pairs like oxygen and nitrogen). Never mind – enough chemistry! Never particularly liked that subject…

I am quite awful when it comes to naming characters, so I quite naturally just named my protagonists using the first names that happened to pop in my head at the time. The inspiration for naming Leader Boy, “Wat Tyler” came from an episode of Blackadder

Baldrick: “I was wondering if I might have the afternoon off.”

Blackadder: “Of course not. Who do you think you are, Wat Tyler? You can have the afternoon off when you die. Not before.”

When thinking up names for my characters (which, despite that they are very simple and without surnames, was the hardest part of this chapter), I suddenly remembered that scene, so Wat Tyler it was. Heh heh… POLE TACKS…

The other character’s names I just pulled from my pancreas, but as Meagan deduced in the chapter, “Zigmond” is an inside joke that only two and a half people in all the world would understand.

Oh yes, of course flying jetpack tortoises aren’t absurd – it happens all the time! Just yesterday there was a flyover of five tortoises, but if they were turtles, THAT would be absurd! Good heavens!

Alice’s wish-list of character traits is just my jab at every Mary-Sue I’ve come across, but I’m glad it made you feel guilty about Ivy, not that I have anything against her. It’s just that I like it when readers make connections I never knew existed!

And thank you for calling me a genius Schmergo, unless you consider boredom a drug! Anyway, the only way The Absurd Fanfic Revolution can strike back at Tim is through his computer – ransacking Word documents is only the beginning!

Once again, thank you for reviewing and I’m glad you like the story! Look out for the third chapter!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: armagod679
Date: 10/19/08 21:58
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

God, Tim, it gets better all the time! Did you mention John's character role? I don't see it anywhere...

Author's Response:

John’s character role is snuck in there in Chapter One and Two. Here’s the description of the group of friends in the first chapter: “There was a stereotypical smart student, a stupid one, a sarcastic one, a couple infatuated with each other, and some other characters designed to make the group as thoroughly average as possible.”

John is the sarcastic character pretty much by default, and he claims that position in the second chapter by saying – “I’m the heartless, sarcastic character in this story – no room for compassion.”

Hope that cleared things up. Enjoy the next chapters, because NOW THE REVOLUTION BEGINS!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Luna_Lovegood11
Date: 10/19/08 21:00
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

o.o

Tim, this is genius. I'm absolutely, utterly serious when I say that, too.

Its funny, creative, original, and well written. Great job. xD

Author's Response:

Wow! Thanks!

I am particularly proud of this story – I managed to write all nine chapters in a row almost without stopping, and I am surprised by the mix of absurd humour, satire, and action I stuck in it. Remember everyone, weird dreams are the best source of inspiration for any story, and this is one of them!

Stay tuned for Chapter Three, and thanks for the lovely review!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: lostinside1
Date: 10/19/08 17:45
Chapter: Chapter B: Absurdity Who’s Who

lmao i've just read this story and it has had me in hysterics. It is sooo good!

Author's Response:

LMAO? That sounds rather painful! But I’m glad you found it that hilarious, so stick around for the next exciting chapter! Thanks for reviewing!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: evester
Date: 10/19/08 15:17
Chapter: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

This is absolutely fabulous!

The fact was, they were friends, and it really wasn’t important to the story why or how that came to be.
So true! I loved your little rant about how sometimes friends aren't explained because I have seen that so many times in fics.

When the rubble and bits of stone and cloud of dust cleared, a man in swooshy black robes, holding a long wooden staff, and wearing ram’s horns on his head emerged.
LOL. *with nasty pointy teeth*

>.> Anyway, good start, and I can't wait to see more. *clicks on next chapter* well that was easy!

Author's Response:

Thank you for the splendid review! In this story, I not only parody myself, but also every thing in fanfiction that annoys me! I’ve seen too many fanfics where friendships and relationships are given no explanation at all, and I exploit that ruthlessly in the first and second chapter of the story!

Unfortunately, I don’t have nasty big pointy teeth, but I DO have a staff that shoots “hot flickery orange things!” You haven’t seen the last of Tim the Enchanter yet – have fun reading the second chapter, if you haven’t done so already!

Tim The Enchanter

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