MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 12/09/08 20:36 · For: Chapter VI: Happy, Happy Insanity!
Oh man that chapter was ridiculous and absurd and all words that imply those sorts of things...but it was refreshing and hilarious and I can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing! If you thought that was absurd, insane, ridiculous, nonsensical, ludicrous, or outlandish, then you should see THE EPIC CONCLUSION! Unfortunately, that is NOT going to be the next chapter, but it is quickly approaching anyway! Put your goggles on and brace yourself!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Passion For Prongs (Signed) · Date: 12/09/08 16:11 · For: Chapter VI: Happy, Happy Insanity!
Ahhh, those crazy Germans, I told you they were scarier! I wonder how you'll make yourself pay?

This was just ridiculously funny.

~Passion For Prongs

P.S. You update fast!

Author's Response:

Indeed. Blonde, screaming sausage-eating gorillas are SCARY! To bad there weren’t any in this chapter, though. As for what the Absurd Fanfic Revolutionaries do in retaliation… well, you’ll see!

And thank you for reviewing, and for saying this story is funny – that is indeed the whole idea! So, good to know that I’ve succeeded. By the way, the updates are pretty quick because I’ve already written the entire story, and it is simply a matter of having the mods approve each chapter. I am very glad the wait time has been dramatically shortened from the one month between each instalment like it was for the first two chapters!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: armagod679 (Signed) · Date: 12/09/08 15:58 · For: Chapter VI: Happy, Happy Insanity!
Suddenly, I'm more afraid of the characters than the author... how much longer is this going to be?

Oh, and I'm on your side, Tim!

Author's Response:

HA HA! I’m glad my smear tactics have worked! You see, if you can’t defeat someone with brute force, you can always play with their brains, or give them a nasty scandal that they have to deal with for the rest of their lives, witness what happened to Wat Tyler! Poor guy… but he deserved everything he got! How dare he revolt against his author – RAAWWRRGGHH!

So, thanks for the review, and I’m glad I have an ally to call upon if this situation goes out of hand. Since you asked, this sixth chapter is more than halfway through, so the from here the epic conclusion approaches! Check it out whenever it’s approved!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: armagod679 (Signed) · Date: 12/06/08 7:46 · For: Chapter Five: Getting Personal
Once again, I am frightened of the power of an author with very little in the way of an actual life.

Another question: How can characters rebel against the author when they need him to dictate their actions?

Author's Response:

I actually wrote this story over the summer holiday because I literally had nothing better to do, which probably explains everything! Currently however, my life consists of writing papers, studying for exams, and writing this response! Sounds like fun! Of course, I would love to have the omnipotent powers of authorship, but unfortunately that is only for my weird imagination to enjoy.

And your question about how the revolution is actually happening is a very, very good question! It’s so good, in fact, I’m not going to answer it! Perhaps some later chapters can shed some light on this question… Anyway, thanks for the review, and look out for the next chapter whenever it’s approved!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Typhoeus (Signed) · Date: 12/05/08 10:12 · For: Chapter Five: Getting Personal
While not as exciting as last chapter, this provides some interesting developments. Two new characters, and fully developed no less! Also, I doubt Wat and Meagan will like being clones anymore than they liked having no personality. And their attacks are getting more inventive. I can't wait to see your revenge. Hail Tim!

Author's Response:

Hello, Typhoeus – thanks for the review! I have to admit that Chapter Four drastically raised the bar for the absurd-o-meter, so every subsequent instalment has a lot to live up to! However, I felt that it wouldn’t be the best idea to have completely non-stop action in every chapter, because a lot of very bad action movies are just like that! This chapter was a brief respite, but if you want excitement, then don’t worry at all about the next chapter!

The introduction of the two new characters in this chapter is actually my way of saying sorry to them – their grievances are in fact true, and I find it doubtful that they’ll appear in my writing in the future. But since they were the first two original characters I came up with, I thought that including them in this story was the least I could do. In complete contrast however, I put almost no effort into developing the personalities of the main fanfic rebel protagonists, as I felt that doing so would violate the purpose of the story! So, clones of canon characters they are, and hurrah for personality plagiarism!

And yes, the strikes of the Absurd Fanfic Revolution are getting more inventive and more devastating. Likewise, I had responded with the obvious answer to any fanfic revolt, which was to send the Red Army after them. My retaliation too gets more creative, and that will make its exciting and absurd debut in Chapter Six! Thanks again for your comments and stay tuned for the next episode!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Passion For Prongs (Signed) · Date: 12/03/08 16:20 · For: Chapter Five: Getting Personal
Those bloody rebels! I did notice that your characters were sort of morphing into Harry and Hermione, but I guess that's what you wanted the entire time!

Loved this chapter and can't wait for the next one!

~Passion For Prongs

Author's Response:

Hello, Passion For Prongs - your powers of observation serve you well! Indeed, Wat and Meagan are simply clones of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, respectively. Of course, not having unique personalities of their own one of the main reasons why these characters are rebelling in the first place! Oddly enough, none of the fanfic rebels completely resemble Ron Weasley, though several of them possess very Ron-ish traits.

Thanks for reviewing, and the next absurd chapter is in the queue!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Schmerg_The_Impaler (Signed) · Date: 12/01/08 15:56 · For: Chapter 4: Get Hammered and Sickled!
Ohhh, boy. I wondered how long it would be before you used the phrase "Get Hammered And Sickled" in one of your fics. I'm beginning to feel a vague sense of foreboding, seeing as this can only mean one thing-- Krazy Kommunism Time.

I need to use the phrase "said very attractively" at some point. It took me about ninety-three seconds to realize that this particular Professor Lupin is not Remus, but Canon!Teddy.

I started to worry a lot when I saw the bold text. Then I read the bolded words and started to worry even more.

Is it wrong that I really, really, really loved the severed arm part? And I'm beginning to feel that Leader Boy would really love Enjolras from Les Miserables (one of my very LEAST-favourite characters of all time, ranking shortly behind Edward Cullen in utter unpleasantness). Which isn't to say I don't love Wat, because I do.

If this story were by anyone other than you, I would be shocked by the wide array of weapons and highly creative violence. And there hasn't been a single cement truck yet. (Loved your picture, by the way.)

Meagan suddenly had a Hermione moment Oh, you mean unlike every other moment she's had so far in this story? Snerk snerk... incidentally, the part with the Greek letters made me giggle out loud in a vaguely disturbing sort of way that scared my little sister and made her make an odd noise while practicing her euphonium.

Just remember, when you call people named Meagan or Megan "Hermione," they tend to point guns at you. WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY HAIR... oh, sorry.

Dude, you've been breaking the fourth wall so much, it looks like you've attacked it with every possible weapon in this story. But that's a good thing. I always love fourth wall breakage. I also love the spell "Proletarius Explodikkus." And I love Trotsky 2 and the 'fruit salad' of medals, though I have to admit that when I read the thing about keeping his arm aloft, I immediately thought of Stonewall Jackson (who was a pretty loopy guy).

YES! RAF PILOTS! I've always wanted to see or use RAF pilots in a fanfiction. It always reminds me of that RAF banter sketch on Monty PYthon (cabbage crates coming over the briney!) My friend and I did a very interesting WWI radio show on the Battle of Britain, and I got to be the voice of everyone in the RAF, as well as Goering, an obnoxious singing toothpaste salesman, and some random Australian reporter on location in England who managed to have wherever he was bombed whenever he began speaking. ("STREWTH! THEY BLEW UP ME BUNGALOW!")

This chapter was the best action sequence I've read in a faniction, which is very odd, but true. I'm sorry about this ridiculous review, but I just ate a great quantity of pecan pie, and I think it went straight to my brain.

Author's Response:

Privet, Comrade Schmergo!

I think it would be fairly useless to say that I had a ridiculously fun time writing this chapter, for you can plainly see why! All manner of Soviet weaponry, epic battle sequences, the slogan “Get Hammered and Sickled!” – I just HAD to write something about that eventually, and where better than in a story totally unrestrained by the laws of sanity? You were right to worry!

I too like the image of the severed arm floating in midair, so I guess we’re just weird. However, now that I think about it, that scene would be impossible, because candle wax just melts and turns to liquid, so the candles wouldn’t melt together in a mass big enough to support the arm unless they were immediately cooled afterward, and that didn’t happen. Well, I guess I can always use magic and ABSURDITY to explain these impossibilities! Just like having some LUN-class ekranoplans in the middle of the Hogwarts lake! HA HA! WHAT?

Even though we know pretty much nothing about (canon) Teddy Lupin, he’s one of my favourite Harry Potter characters, probably just because I liked his parents and therefore feel sorry for him. I must admit that having never read Les Misérables, I have no idea who Enjolras is, aside from a French revolutionary! Accordingly, I imagine Wat Tyler might want to take some angry-revolutionary character development lessons from Enjolras to get him out of his sad, sorry state of halibut-like flatness! But maybe not, because Enjolras is FRENCH! Remember Wat’s inspiring speech?

As everyone has noticed, there are a lot of weapons in this chapter, but I could have easily put in more! Rather sensibly, I chose not to. No cement mixers either, I’m afraid, but there will be NO SHORTAGE of creative violence in subsequent chapters! Remember, this chapter was just the Soviets! What’s next?

Oh, and for anybody reading this response who’s curious to see the cement mixer picture, just copy and paste this thing below into the address bar or whatever it’s called:


But I digress… I’m glad you liked the part with the Greek letters, Schmergo. I presume you understood what it said, correct? Anyway, I was highly annoyed when I discovered that this site no longer read Cyrillic letters! Now if I write that phrase in Russian letters, it looks like this: “h3;l6; ill6;l3;km0;k2;ll0;k2;m0;, h1;k2;k3;l0;!” Oh well. Greek’s close enough!

As you have undoubtedly noticed, Meagan is something of a clone of Hermione… just without the same hair, of course. There’s no need to whip out that PKM 7.62x54mm general-purpose machine gun! (another Soviet weapon, of course)

And don’t worry about that Fourth Wall – it’ll be attacked by more than just artillery! More absurdity, improbability, and insanity is to come, so brace yourself! Incidentally, I originally just had the Soviets commanded by some generic general, but I drew a picture of Trotsky 2 a month or so ago, and I liked him so much that I had to write him into the story somehow. Here’s that picture of him, and I am particularly proud of his hair!


Well, I think I should just conclude this response with a TALLY, BALLY HO! Your World War Two radio broadcast sure sounds interesting and highly random. But please, don’t feel sorry about writing a ridiculous review – this is a RIDICULOUS STORY! So, thanks so much for your lovely comments, and stay tuned for the next absurd chapter!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: IndigoPassion (Signed) · Date: 11/30/08 10:07 · For: Chapter 4: Get Hammered and Sickled!
Haha, That was brilliant.

Wow, you obviously know an awful lot about weapons. I don't so I was pretty confused. Lol.

You know, I totally confused myself earlier. I was trying to work out the story, with the whole, so they rewrote it, but even if they were real, they are characters, so they can only write when you say so. But that means that you made them write, so they aren't rebelling. But that means-

And it went on a while. So i stopped thinking about it, and just accepted it as, well, absurd. Lol.

I absoloutly adored your last line. It was honestly so effective.


That actually cracked me up!

I'm wayy to tired to write a proper reveiw. So sorry about that.

That was brilliant, Tim, and I can't wait for the next chapter. You honestly never fail to crease me up.


Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing my story, Lexxyy! About the weapons thing, well… it comes to me as naturally as breathing, pretty much. Plus I included it in the story because I find it funny, for some incredibly weird reason!

Also you brought up a very good question. WHO wrote this story? ARE the characters even rebelling in the first place? Well, I don’t even really know myself. All we know is that IT’S ABSURD!

I’m glad the “THAT’S A LOT LONGER THAN ‘A FEW PARAGRAPHS!’” line made you laugh. I feel very clever and proud of myself for having come up with it now! And thanks for liking the last line – I surprised myself by weaving in poignant contemplations in such an absurd story, so it’s good to hear that it worked.

Once again, thank you for reviewing. The next exciting chapter is in the queue and will be approved whenever it’s approved!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Typhoeus (Signed) · Date: 11/21/08 13:26 · For: Chapter 4: Get Hammered and Sickled!
They didn't die? Inconceivable!

Well, it was good attack, and I liked the military detail. I just wish you would've let the Americans aid in the attack against the Soviets. We have the M1 Abrams, the Longbow Apache (Bushmaster chain gun!), the A-10 Warthog, and the F-22 Raptor. Maybe next time, eh? Also, I quite liked the reference to the French. I'm not saying that all French are bad, but their track record isn't great. And the Bolshevik-blasting spell was hilarious, particularly the wand movement.

Can't wait to see your next attack. You wouldn't be needing the services of a storm lizard, would you? Because, as only Zeus was powerful enough to defeat me, I could probably deal some heavy blows to the up-start little wand-carriers. Anyway, thanks for continuing to update! Hail Tim!

Author's Response:

Hmm… “Hail Tim?” I can get used to this! Anyway, thanks for the review Typhoeus!

Finally, someone who understands everything in this chapter! I could have been even more descriptive with the details of those deadly devices, but I refrained from doing so to avoid bogging the story down too much. As you can probably tell, I have an avid interest in Soviet military machines – they have a kind of bare, eloquent crudity to them: simple, cost-effective, and reliable. But I digress; now that you mentioned the AH-64, I guess I could have included some Westland Apaches (the British modification of the American helicopter), but oh well.

Naturally, the French fighting record is just fun to make fun of, with jokes like, “How can you tell if a tank is French? It only has one gear: REVERSE.” Most people I talk to about France’s abysmal fighting record always cite French military greatness under Napoleon, but what they forget is that Napoleon wasn’t even French (he was Corsican, and his first language was Italian) and that he LOST in the end.

And I’m glad you liked my Bolshevik-Blasting curse; not just the incantation, but the wand movement too! Also, thank you for your offer of help in crushing these puny fanfic rebels, but I can handle the situation just fine on my own. Notice how much damage I dealt them without even entering the battle personally?

Thanks for reviewing, and stay tuned for the revolution’s absurd escalation!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: armagod679 (Signed) · Date: 11/20/08 16:41 · For: Chapter 4: Get Hammered and Sickled!
Let me ask... where was the author during all this? And when are you going to run out of ideas? And why hasn't John Lennon's Revolution started playing yet?

Please answer these questions in the next chapter.

Author's Response:

Don’t worry; all will be revealed!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Passion For Prongs (Signed) · Date: 11/20/08 16:14 · For: Chapter 4: Get Hammered and Sickled!
The Soviets? Of all crazy and scary countries, you chose Russia? Germany's much scarier!

But, other than that, this chapter was amazing. It was funny, and I liked how you sent Meagan to the Library in a Hermione-ish act!

~Passion For Prongs

Author's Response:

Privet, Comrade Prongs!

I chose the Soviet Union because I could make jokes about it, like “Get Hammered and Sickled!” and “Proletarius Explodikkus!” Plus, I just find communists funny for some reason. On the other hand, Hitler’s Germany is just plain scary, and it’s pretty hard to make an attack by Nazis amusing.

But whenever you’re under attack, GO STRAIGHT TO THE LIBRARY! There’s bound to be an improbable plot device in there somewhere!

Thanks for the review! Proletarii vsekh stran, soyedinyaytes!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: KyraVox (Signed) · Date: 11/20/08 14:25 · For: Chapter 4: Get Hammered and Sickled!
Oh my God, I'm still laughing at "Death? Or HAGGIS?" three chapters later and you come at us with "Proletarius Explodikkus". This may be too funny for public consumption. Keep up the good work... and watch out for Dark Grapes, too.

Author's Response:

Glad you liked “Proletarius Explodikkus!” – that was a fun spell to invent. Technically, the Bolshevik-Blasting curse would only blow up one communist at a time because “Proletarius” is singular, whereas “Proletarii” is plural. However, the former sounds better, so who cares!

And yes, I will be vigilant against those Dark Grapes! Thanks for reviewing, and have fun reading the next chapter whenever it’s approved!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Quilter (Signed) · Date: 11/20/08 13:59 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
I have been accused of not having a sense of humor. That said I also do not stop reading something just because I don't get it or like it right away. So I like this, because: 1. You do have to pay attention to what is going on to get it. 2. There is humor here even if I don't see it when it is supose to be humor and only go... Oh that is what was gonig on...after I have read another several paragraphs. 3. It made me smile although the weapons list thing was a bit 'strong'.
I started off 'trying' to make sense of the read, gave up and just enjoyed. I will check back periodically for updates. Keep the absurdity coming.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review, and I’m glad you liked my story! One of the reasons why I like Rowan Atkinson’s Blackadder series so much is that there is humour that is immediately visible, but underneath is even more. Even after I-don’t-know-how-many years of watching it, I am still finding new jokes that I didn’t realise existed! Though Blackadder is a very different kind of humour, its style has influenced my writing that appears in this story – I’ve jammed it full of inside jokes, recurring jokes, and humour only weird people like me would understand, like having Soviet ekranoplans in the middle of the Hogwarts lake. Speaking of which, detailing the weapons used by different armies in battle scenes I write is just some weird habit I have, plus it’s just fun to do!

More absurdity is on the way!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Black-Sand (Signed) · Date: 11/19/08 22:52 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

Ones again your naughsty...it is a fun word isnt it! it was a typo but now its affically my word! =) Anyway your naughsty because you didnt give them a mummy!...*giggles* but you did call miss smarty pants Hermione!...oops!

*Spits cookie crumbs everywhere*
"Professor Lupin had said very attractively " ohhh Volies going to be crushed! he said he had already picked out the names of your children! lmao

I have to say EWWWWW on the discription of the bullets going into the body's! I couldnt help but cringe.

"Is our author some weapons-crazed freak?” I wondered the same thing myself! The tecno stuff went over my head thats for sure!....I'm guessing you did research for this chapter...or are really good in class.

Oh and I noticed a typo I thought I'd tell you..."blow up for now reason at all" I think you mean no not now!



Author's Response:

ACK! You made all my reviews in bold! Now, let’s see if this works…

Is everything still bold?

Anyway, thanks for the review, Black Sand – once again, I am happy that you found this story amusing! And yes, I am a very naughsty author – alas, my characters have no mums to comfort them!

Indeed, the character of Meagan is a virtual clone of Hermione, and I see that you’ve noticed how other characters mistakenly called her that! That was totally intentional.

Fortunately for Volders, he does not have to compete with Teddy Lupin for my affection, which I am unwilling to grant to either. That would be… awkward, to say the least. My description of Teddy speaking “very attractively” simply referred to how popular he was with students of female persuasion, which I am obviously not. However, Voldemort’s behaviour is a little disturbing…

The slightly graphic descriptions of bullet impacts were just to show that although the story is still absurd, it has gotten much more serious in that the characters and the author are now literally at war. Speaking of which, the “deadly data” of the various Soviet weaponry is definitely not something taught in school! I didn’t do any research either, because everything about Soviet military equipment that appears in this chapter was already in my head! You see, I was the kind of boy who read tank encyclopaedias for “light reading” years ago… and I still do!

And thank you for spotting the typo; it has been fixed. Thanks again for reviewing!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Typhoeus (Signed) · Date: 11/17/08 9:14 · For: Chapter One, Revisited
Wow, too good. I can't wait for more. Your literary creations are becoming Frankensteins. Yet another great reason why it is important to backup your files. That, and keyboard-hopping cicadas. I'm awaiting your next release with hopeful anxiety! Thanks, O Tim!

Author's Response:

Well, Typhoeus, you don't have to wait any longer for more, because Chapter Four has just been approved! Hurrah!

Anyway, let this story be a very important lesson for everyone - BEWARE OF WHAT YOU WRITE! You never know if your creations are going to turn nasty, with lots of sharp, pointy things. If you want victory against these literary Frankensteins (that's 'Fronk-en-steens'), your things will have to be sharper, and pointier! That's why the letters 'A' and 'V' make good weapons - they're sharp and pointy, and can turn keyboard-hopping cicadas into powdered penguins!

And yes, you are welcome. Thanks for the review!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: hpsupafan (Signed) · Date: 11/11/08 15:08 · For: Chapter One, Revisited
oooooooooooo... ITS ON!!! lol

Author's Response:

Indeed it is. Thus starts the epic war between me and my characters – sounds like fun!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: IndigoPassion (Signed) · Date: 11/11/08 12:42 · For: Chapter One, Revisited

*dies laughing...* *seriously*

That was amazing. Your so descriptive. And that story was so.... wow.

*still giggling slightly*

I'm not going to make much sence right now, so I'll just leave now.

Be happy, i left you a reveiw of my own accord =p


Author's Response:

Thanks for the review, Lexxyy! Please, don’t feel pressured to leave a review for anything if you don’t want to, but I’m glad you liked the story! And feel bad for not making much sense in your review – this STORY doesn’t make much sense to begin with!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: ada22 (Signed) · Date: 11/11/08 12:25 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
I may have not read attentivelly the first two chapters, but when I started on this one, I knew immediatelly something funny would happen. And I was right, because it really made me laugh, especially the Voldy part. The idea of the story is great and I always admire writers with a good sense of humor. I could never write humor fics. good job!

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing and liking my story so much! It appears that the Lord Volders part is quite a hit! My own advice on writing humour is not to try too hard – if you have to think for a long time to come up with something funny, chances are, it isn’t. When I wrote this, I quite literally made up the story as I went and wrote down any absurd thought that came across in my head, and I am quite proud of the result!

And remember, if you need inspiration, there’s always Skittles™…

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Passion For Prongs (Signed) · Date: 11/11/08 9:37 · For: Chapter One, Revisited
At first, I was slightily bored by the normal-ness of the fic. I thought those crazy characters were going to win the war! Hah! As if...

I really liked that you thought of why they'd make themselves 7th years, and why they'd have Neville and Teddy teaching. It made it way more believeable(sp?)...if that's reallly possible.

~Passion For Prongs

Author's Response:

I’m glad you were slightly bored by the beginning of the story – now you see what will happen if The Absurd Fanfic Revolution wins the war! The story will be… NORMAL! I can’t let that happen, and I will fight them, tooth and toothpick to prevent that from happening!

About the realism factor of the revolutionaries making themselves 7th years and such… well, they’re sneaky little blighters! Never trust anything you write! (Plus I just like Teddy Lupin, even though we know almost nothing about him - I just felt like including him in the story somehow)

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Black-Sand (Signed) · Date: 11/11/08 4:38 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

Your naughsty Tim...but you gave me a laugh! You had my parents looking at me like 'what's she on?'

"Hey Tim – you are sexy. I want to have your babies"....oh scandeles!

LOL this story's well written, I've never read a story where the character knew they were characters!


Author's Response:

“Naughsty?” That’s a word I haven’t heard before! Unless it’s a typo, it looks like a fascinating combination of ‘naughty’ and ‘nasty’ – sounds fun! Anyway, I’m glad this story made you laugh, Black-Sand and made your parents highly suspicious!

And who knew that Lord Volders was such a romantic? I didn’t – quite a shock when I found out! About the characters conscious of the fact that they’re characters… well, I can’t think of anything insightful to say at the moment. Perhaps “all the world’s a stage” by Will Shakespeare should do the trick!

Tim the Enchanter

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