MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: James Jameson (Signed) · Date: 10/19/08 9:21 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

this is good stuf!

Author's Response:

Glad you think it is, because there will be more! The absurdity is only beginning!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: HPisgreat72 (Signed) · Date: 10/16/08 0:16 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
What a great start to a story. So random and hilarious, from fourth wall breaking to Python references to unnamed main characters, it was all so funny.
I can't wait for this to validated.

Author's Response:

I can’t wait for chapter two to be validated too! It’s been in the queue for more than a month now…

I hope the updates will go a little faster…

But I digress. Thank you for reviewing this totally bonkers story! It is just going to get more random and (hopefully) hilarious, so stay tuned!

Fourth wall? What fourth wall? HA HA!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: PadfootnPeeves (Signed) · Date: 10/07/08 17:30 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
Heehee, I like this story! It's a nice break to read something silly and random for once :-) I look forward to the updates!

Author's Response:

Well, don't you worry about updates - all the chapters are locked, loaded, and ready to go. It's just a matter of how quickly the mods approve them, which hopefully they will! Note that this first chapter got rejected twice, on the grounds that it was just too weird (I'm paraphrasing, of course), and to finally get it approved, I made an extraordinarily high number of ZERO changes! I suppose I just got lucky, so let's hope that luck continues for the updating of the next exciting (as in bonkers) chapter!

Thank you for the review, and I promise the next chapter will not disappoint!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: LilyGinnyWrites92 (Signed) · Date: 10/01/08 18:43 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
*backs away very slowly*

Just kidding, it was hilarious! Reminds me of the crack!fic at the Ravenclaw party. Great chapter!

Kate aka th_poet14

Author's Response:

Ah... yes, the infamous Ravenclaw crack!fic. That was quite fun, even though I had no idea what was going on! But I suppose that's the point, isn't it? Anyway, you might have noticed the epic cement mixer final showdown was "borrowed" from one of my other stories, Out of the Darkness.

Thanks for reviewing - the next eight chapters are equally absurd, so save yourself while you can!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: kitkat102994 (Signed) · Date: 09/27/08 19:14 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
Hahahaha!! That may be one of the randomest stories ever written........
Which makes it the GREATEST!!!!!!!!

Author's Response:

Thank you for such extravagant praise! If you thought this chapter was random, THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!

Watch out for the next chapter!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Firkant (Signed) · Date: 09/25/08 11:01 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
Oh... Me like :P

Author's Response:

WOW. These reviews just seem to keep on multiplying, don't they?

Thanks for the review, and look out for Chapter Two!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: feltonismine (Signed) · Date: 09/24/08 15:28 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
Haha, this fic is really good! It's nice to find something different. Really good stuff; keep up the good work!

Author's Response:

Why, thank you - I'm glad you like the story! My brain doesn't seem to work in a normal fashion, and I think that fact is quite evident in this rather absurd fanfic!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Vitamin Vicki (Signed) · Date: 09/22/08 19:13 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
I love this story. IT'S AMAZING.

The sack of haggis thing was PURE JOY. My brothers and I wrote an idiotic story about a girl who got kidnapped by a ninja, and she was also wanted by some Scottish golfer. The fought on the cables of a bridge, the Scottish man fighting with a sack of haggis, and the ninja fighting with a bag of the girl's tears. Haggis and tears exploded everywhere, and I really don't remember the rest. I think that the Joker got his toe eaten off two or something.

I just told you about that so I could explain why I thought the haggis thing was so funny. I also just REALLY LIKE the word 'haggis'. ^_^

Oh, this made me snort: 'Without introducing any of their names yet, they finished eating with their miniature pitchforks (as in forks) and scimitars (as in guitar picks) and headed to their first class of the day: Defence Against the Dark Arts.' HAHAHA! Scimitars? I never knew such a word like that existed. And you certainly didn't make it up, otherwise it would be underlined in red squiggly lines because of spell check.

I also really like this: 'The teacher person-Homo sapiens sapiens-thing then proceeded straight to the lesson.' Homo sapiens sapiens-thing? THAT'S PURE GOLD, SON! (:

'Girl A was as cool as a cold cucumber that had been left in the freezer, then warmed up for a bit in toaster oven, and then put back in the freezer again, not that that simile made any sense at all.' This simile made sense to me. I chuckled.

I'm favouriteing (definitely not a word) this story. I think I may just be in love with it.

Good day to you, SIR!
Vicki (:

Author's Response:

Salutations, Vicki Reviewer Person Harry Potter Fan Thing!

I am ecstatic that you found my story so hilarious! I had an roaringly fun time writing this magnum octopus, and I am quite glad that other people seem to like my rather absurd sense of humour.

Your story about the ninjas and haggis sounds very entertaining! If you give it a Harry Potter twist and post it here on MNFF, I’ll certainly read it. Also, you’re not alone – I like the word ‘haggis’ too. No other food name in the world inspires such terror…

Ah, so you noticed my alternative dining cutlery? I wanted a more exciting way to say ‘forks’ and ‘knives,’ so those implements became ‘miniature pitch forks’ and ‘scimitars.’ However, the knives (or scimitars) turned into guitar picks for some reason, probably because I thought it was weird. Anyway, a scimitar is a generic term for any Middle Eastern sword with a curved blade, like a sabre.

I have a strange habit of calling people “Homo sapiens sapiens,” just like how I sometimes refer to water as “Dihydrogen Monoxide.” I like to confuse people – it’s rather fun. Also, I have no idea where the cool cucumber simile came from. I suppose my brain works in mysterious ways!

Thanks for reviewing, and watch out for the next chapter!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Sainyn Swiftfoot (Signed) · Date: 09/21/08 10:17 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!

I read this already at the Crow's Nest, and I have to say, it's simply amazing.

Totally hilarious! I really loved it! The randomness and the Tim-iness, and everything...

I'd insert "UPDATE SOON IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE IMPALED BY A SPORK" here, but seeing as I've already read the entire story...


Author's Response:

Oh dear. “Tim-iness?” That’s something I haven’t heard before. I suppose I’ve just created my own literary sub-genre of insanity!

Anyway, thank you for reviewing! I’m glad you liked this chapter, as well as the entire story! Hopefully the next chapter will be validated soon, so you can relive your amazement with this story! HA HA! Stabbing me with a spork will be quite unnecessary…

Tim the Enchanter

PS: I don’t recall you leaving a review for the last chapter of Out of the Darkness. Subtle hint…

Name: NevillesGran (Signed) · Date: 09/20/08 17:35 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
This is goig to be very, very funny...

Author's Response:

That's the plan! Thanks for the review, and look out for the second chapter when in bursts into MNFF in an insane blaze of glory!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Flamesnake (Signed) · Date: 09/18/08 17:22 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
LOL this is so random and funny! Ive never seen a fanfic where the author was involved... in this way. Good job!

Author's Response:

I’m glad you like the story so far, and thank you for reviewing! Concerning the characters’ and the author’s breaching of the fourth wall, there’s plenty more of that to come, so stay tuned for the next exciting chapter!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: nevillerocksdobbyssocks (Signed) · Date: 09/16/08 13:46 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
This story is completely insane but it's so funny! explosively exploded in an explosive explosion of exploding explosiveness!!!

Author's Response:

I love insanity – there will be plenty more of if in the next eight glorious chapters! Also, I’m glad you got a kick out of the “explosively exploded in an explosive explosion of exploding explosiveness” sentence. I don’t really know how I came up with it, but I’m quite proud of that one line – I used “explosion” as a noun, a verb, an adjective, and an adverb, all in the same sentence!

Thanks for reviewing, and look out for the next chapter whenever it’s validated!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: goddess of light (Signed) · Date: 09/15/08 20:10 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
Totally randomly stupendous! I can't wait for more. UpdateupdateUPDATE! Move the story on for your poor characters, they must be bored by now, just sitting around waiting for you to get writing. An excellent idea!

Author's Response:

Total stupendous randomness indeed! Don’t you worry about updates – the second chapter is in the queue, and it is only a matter of days/weeks/years before its validation! Hurrah!

And yes, it must be incredibly frustrating (not to mention terrifying!) to be a character stuck in this story. Even when they decided to revolt against their author, they can’t take action until the author writes the next chapter and gives them names! Additionally, the characters are completely 2-dimensional and have no personalities until I give them one, so they can’t even amuse themselves in the meantime! Pity these poor creations of mine…

Stay tuned for the next chapter, and thanks for the review!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: ink_daughter (Signed) · Date: 09/15/08 13:33 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
I don't really remember... I think it might have been a rendition of the Magic Tree House books. It was a long time ago, I think I was eight years old. The characters kept trying to correct me when I made a mistake, or something boring like that. I never tried to re-write it. *shrug*

Author's Response:

Well Beverly, I must confess that I have no idea what the “Magic Tree House” books are, but they must have been good if they motivated you to write a story about them at eight years old! I’m a latecomer when it comes to writing – I only started writing for fun two years ago, and I never wrote (or even read) fanfiction until last summer.

Good luck on whatever you decide to write next, and thanks for reviewing!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Goodbye_Earl (Signed) · Date: 09/15/08 12:28 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
This story is so funny! Can't wait for the next chapter so we can find out their names =]

Author's Response:

I’m glad that you found my story amusing, as that was my intention! The second chapter is in the queue, so you should know the protagonists’ names soon enough!

Thanks for reviewing!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: ink_daughter (Signed) · Date: 09/13/08 20:37 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
Only you could pull a story like this off, just as Schmergo said. Amazing. I tried to write a story once where the characters were conscious of the fact they were characters...but it didn't go over too well. It fell apart half-way through the first chapter. Huzzah for randomness!

Author's Response:

Hello Beverely!

Thank you for reviewing; I’m glad that you like my story! And yes, hurrah for randomness! Absurdity sure is fun!

I’m curious – what was that (attempted) story of yours about?

Anyway, the next chapter is coming up!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: armagod679 (Signed) · Date: 09/13/08 12:20 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
About that dream that led to the ruckus... don't they make meds for that?

Please continue! I love reading your absurdity!

Author's Response:

I’m sure they do make some sort of medication for that, but I have no interest in taking any. I’d much rather keep my rather crazy brain the way it is! HA HA!

More absurdity is on the way!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 09/13/08 8:31 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
Oh my gosh. I have no idea what to say to that.

Except that I'll be reading the next chapter. :)

Author's Response:

Do not fear! The second chapter is in the queue!

Thanks for reviewing, and stay tuned!

Tim the Enchanter

PS: You can always say, "Bbluubbaaarrrggghhh!" Just a suggestion...

Name: Schmerg_The_Impaler (Signed) · Date: 09/12/08 17:59 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
Tim, this is why you are one of my favourite people on MNFF. Only you could pull off something like this. And manage to fit 'bbbblubarrrrgh' into the summary, of course.

The beginning of the story, while utterly hilarious, made me squirm a bit in my seat because it was so remiscent of Potter's Pentagon. That's the sign of a good piece of satire-- making its targets squirm.

Aku and I have a theory called the 'edible food theory' that states that one of the major changes that comes with adolescence is the phrase 'edible food.' Namely, every teenager has this conversation with a parent at some point in their life: "What do you want for lunch?" "Food." "What kind of food?" "Edible food." I swear I've heard at least six people use that phrase with their parents. Seeing the phrase on an online story pretty much confirms the theory, I think.

I absolutely DIED at the fresh fruit bit. That's always been one of my favourite Monty Python sketches of all. And then, of course, you enter, not in your typical Che Guevara-style, semi-mustached glory (Do you still have a mini-mustache? I know you said that might have to go when you went to college) but like the ORIGINAL Tim the Enchanter. And that was just brilliant.

“Your doom approaches with nasty hot flickery orange things!” Favourite quote so far.

I can tell you just wrote this in a stream of boredom and insanity. It's funny, but so incredibly silly... it reminds me vaguely of the horrific stories that my sister and I write alternating sentences.

Is the Death or Haggis inspired by the "Cake or Death" sketch? If so, good on you. If not, then, brilliant! By the way, I have a new favourite quote: "After all the penguins had melted away, the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs and their teacher were positively cowering in fear."

Tim, can you do me a ridiculously vast favour? Can you use the phrase 'one more day to revolution, we will nip it in the bud?" somewhere in the story? Like, have Tim talking about crushing the insurrection or something? Because that line of dialogue means more to me than I can possibly explain. But if not, that's okay, too.

This is the strangest fic I've ever read, and possibly the funniest. It reminds me a lot of this very unusual story that can be found at xlormp dot livejournal dot com... It's technically a spoof of the "Twilight" books, but it's about space aliens and... insane hobos and things like that.

Author's Response:

Salutations, Schmergo!

Thank you for this wonderful review! I’m glad you like the story so far!

Anyway, when thinking of the most eye-catching summary possible, I somehow just knew that I had to include “Bbluubbaaarrrggghhh!” in there somewhere.

How is the beginning of my story reminiscent of your Potter’s Pentagon series? I’m sorry, but you obviously know your story a lot better than I do, so maybe you could enlighten me? Concerning the satire aspect of this story, I am making fun of my own writing style (for instance, I am horrible with names and that comes across in this story in a very big way), but also fanfiction writing in general. At any rate, I’m glad I hit a nerve there!

Well, maybe that’s not the write phrase to use, but you know what I mean…

I agree with you totally about your “edible food” theory. However, that applied to me long before adolescence! I have never been all that enthusiastic about eating – frankly, I think that there are better things to do than eat food, like it’s a waste of time. Unfortunately, if I don’t eat, I’ll die, so I have to spend a few precious hours out of my short day to prevent that from happening. Yep. I’m weird.

And now, for that paragraph about Monty Python

I can’t remember why I referenced the personal defence against fruit sketch in this chapter – maybe my mind just wrote it in spontaneously. Also, the original Tim the Enchanter from Holy Grail is the one that appears in this chapter, because that’s who was in my dream, which turned into this story. However, Tim the Enchanter in my fic is something of a synthesis of both John Cleese and myself, with more of my own personality emerging in later chapters. The story is going to get VERY INTERESTING!

Oh, and Schmergo, since you asked, I haven’t shaved yet, and quite honestly, I don’t intend to. It’s not that I am adamant about growing a moustache; it’s just that I’m too lazy to get rid of what I have already!

By the way, the proper term (to me, at least) is “proto-moustache.”

Now, all I need is a beret…

Indeed, I did write this story in blazing fit of bored insanity over the summer. I literally had nothing to do, so I wrote all nine glorious chapters of The Absurd Fanfic Revolution in a little over a week. It was quite fun, pretty much making up the story as I went, and I’m surprised at how well it turned out!

I honestly can’t remember any “Cake or Death” sketch from Monty Python; the last time I watched any episode of Flying Circus must have been… one or two years ago. I guess I can safely assume that the “Death or Haggis” joke in the story is my own invention, and not some subconscious Python reference.

Concerning the penguins… I have no idea what happened there. It’s all up to the reader’s imagination, but funnily enough I have no mental image of what the penguins actually did! All I know is that they were there, and they MELTED!

I don’t know, but “one more day to revolution, we will nip it in the bud?” sounds like it might be a Les Misérables reference somehow, but I have no idea. Unfortunately, I don’t really see any point in the story where I can insert it – the phrase doesn’t really match Tim’s personality or situation and… well, I don’t understand it too much – it’s a very odd question. Sorry.

Anyway, I’m very glad that you think this story is both very funny and strange. Don’t worry – the story is just going to get even more so!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: ringobeatlesfan4 (Signed) · Date: 09/12/08 15:11 · For: Chapter I: HAGGIS ATTACK!
I saw this title and had to read it! HILARIOUS! haha I love the Hufflepuffs yelling whe you come in. It was great! Nice job! {BeccA}

Author's Response:

Oh good! I’m glad the title caught your eye! Figuratively speaking, of course…

Thanks for reviewing! Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter!

Tim the Enchanter

You must login (register) to review.