This was NOT terrible!! It was great!!! I know Petunia loves Lily.......deep......deep......down. And she's just embarrased to say it. So I like fanfics in Petunia's perspective, because they have the confusion of all of the different feelings for Lily - love, embarrasment, hatred..... And you did a great job expressing those feelings. Great writing!
Honestly, I think the premise of the story is great. The one thing I noticed though is that after the first entry, they basically all say the same thing. Now, I know that the point of the fic is that Lily feels as though she is losing Petunia, which she is, but I think it would be more interesting, and less repetitive, if it was more gradual. If she notices things more slowly, and then by the end of her seventh year, Petunia says they are no longer sisters. Does that makes sense? I reallly like your style of writing, probably because its similar to mine. I am slightly puzzled by the last sentence. How is Petunia giving Lily another chance?
Love the interaction between Sev and Lily! Very believable.
Okay, long review over!
kel aka marauderwannabe
Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for the constructive criticism! I'm planning on revisiting this fic someday, so I will definitely take that into account! As for giving Lily another chance, it's more that at the end of the fic, Petunia realizes that she was wrong about Lily and her world, so she is, after that, going to give her another chance. Does that make sense? I hope so! Thanks for reviewing! ~margaret
Aw, this was so bittersweet!
I loved the way you wove the diary entries between Petunia’s narrative without it feeling forced or distracting – it all flowed very nicely. The last line was brilliant, and something I wish we could’ve seen in canon. I like to think that Petunia eventually saw how wrong she had been about Lily and the wizarding world in general. I thought the title was a great choice as well. When I first started reading, it made me think that Petunia wouldn’t be so repentant because of the ‘freak’ part, but I think it fit really well.
You did a great job conveying mood with your writing, too. This line, in particular, was one of my favorites: She flopped down on her bed and began to sob, mourning the sister she knew she had just lost forever.
Like the other reviewers mentioned, I’d love to see a sequel to this. Maybe about what Petunia does with her decision to give Lily another chance and how it changes the way she acts around everyone. Or what would happen if she and Lily ever met again – in a dream, after Petunia died, etc.
Wonderful story! :)
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I actually based this entire fic around that ending line, which is usually what I do with poems, too. I actually only recently even considered writing a sequel, but as of now I'm pretty sure I will, the question is when. Thanks SO much for reviewing! ~Margaret
this was very intresting. im sad it was a one shot though i would have liked to read a bit more.
Author's Response: I might write more later, it's just a one-shot for now!
dis was great its gud to read abt petunia's feelings for lily
Author's Response: Thanks!
This was good. But it begs for more of Petunias thoughts of Lily and the remorse she must start to feel. Do you think you might have another chapter in you?
Author's Response: I might later, but probably not anytime soon... thanks for reviewing! ~margaret
Oh,this was so sweet!This shows the more sisterly side of Petunia that when she read her sister's diary!
Is this a one-shot?
~Southern belles follow the son~
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yes, this is a one-shot! And I'm glad you liked it! ~margaret~