You know, there are a lot of Lupin poems out there, but this one was amazing.
I really liked it because it had a lot of contrast in it.
Firstly, I like how your first stanza describes the night as a normal person would see it. And boy, I am reading this at night and it almost makes me shiver, the imagery is so good. I mean, it seems so, so, real! You've got a gift for that.
I like how your second stanza describes how the transformation happens. This too is well written.
"Soft eyes turn wild with one single glance." is really a good line. It really shows how different Lupin is in his different forms.
And the third stanza, the transformation? Spot. On.
Of course, the last one is just the greatest way to end it.
Well, I think you did a fantastic job on this poem. Short and sweet and I will definitely remember it!
Author's Response: Thanks, Megan!
I love sonnets! The subject fits the sonnet style perfectly. I thought you did a really good job with rhythm and the turn was excellent. I was particularly struck by your word choices and how they all worked together to give the poem its sad, dark feeling. Great job! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the wonderful review, Gina. I'm glad you liked the poem.
I am a large fan of fanfiction poems, so when I saw this on your author’s page, Bine, I just had to read it. I really liked this little sonnet. It was very descriptive and the diction was wonderful!
The last stanza is my favorite by far. The wording was just superb there. Yet the sun, his saviour, will banish it soon. Beautiful, I must say. Although, I do think that you described Remus’ transformation very well considering how short this poem is. It still has power and meaning behind it, which truly just goes to show that you do not have to have 1,000 words to make a statement. A few will do just fine as long as you chose them carefully, which I believe you did.
The actual way that you described the transformation is what made this so real for me. You didn’t describe it lightly – cravings for blood and biting himself – and that helped to feed the overall tone of this poem. You kept it serious, without being overly graphic or giving too much, you know?
I must look into more of your work. This was a lovely and enjoyable read.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for that great review, Haylee. *pickles* And if I consider, this poem started with a romantic night scene I glanced from my window lol.
Bine darling! *pickles*
This was an amazing poem, love. Really, the description was so beautiful of the night sky in the first stanza; I was completely taken into the pretty picture you painted with your words. And just as I was (having conveniently forgotten the summary) into that pretty picture, you tore my heart away with the plight of the werewolves.
This is not the first time I have read a werewolf‘s pain in poetry form. In dact, I think it suffice to say that the issue has been done to death. Which does not mean that it goes unappreciated. In fact, the only poem I ever favouritised was Night Worrier by the brilliant Lalalalatina dealing with the same subject matter.
Anyway, though this issue has been done, you managed to keep this poem amazingly different and original. The words you used weren’t too dramatic and the rhyme scheme is simple but simplicity, to me, was ever a drawback. My favourite part of the entire poem though, would have to b the first stanza because it really sucks the reader in, only to make them realize (too late) that this is no fairytale.
The only bit of crit I have to offer is the rhyming in the second stanza which didn’t come off as well as it could have (poor, core - once, glance) but there is so much pain in it that the readers doesn’t really care about such technicalities.
Truly, you did an amazing job love. Keep up the fantastic work.:)=Sammy
Author's Response: Ah, Sammy, what shall I say to this? Thank you of course. Yes, I love the first stanza, too - it was so great to get it written, and even greater to read it once it was on paper. And thanks for the concrit, too. I still have problems finding perfect rhyming words. I guess I sometimes *want* them to rhyme when in fact they don't. <.< *pickles back*
This poem is really good. It's so nice to see more of your poetry. You really seem to have captured what the change to a werewolf is like. *hugs*
Author's Response: *hugs back* Thanks for coming and reviewing me once again. And thanks for the great comment. By the by, did you get my message?
Lovely! It's sort of sad for the werewolf, really. But I enjoyed it a lot. I think it's cool how you kept the poem short...It makes your words so much more...powerful. Keep it up, you're wonderful. Oh, and thanks for the wonderful beta-ing you did for me. :) It got past queue!!! *squeals with delight* Hehe.
Author's Response: lol Congratulations for getting it up. And thanks for the lovely review you left me.