Reviews For Were you there?
Reviewer: Nitwit Blubber Oddment Tweak x
Date: 05/08/09 17:55
Chapter: Chapter 1

Hi there! I was intrigued when I saw your poem; I adore the ship Lily/Severus, especially in poems. I have one on here too so I know it's harder than it looks!
Overall, I just love the idea of your poem - the lines you use are realistic and easily help you to imagine the situation and not only are they realistic, but they're detailed; I can clearly see it happening.

I love the first sentence and how it's repeated in the other stanzas. I also like the alliteration of the 'g' in the first sentence.

The imagery in the second verse is excellent - very well described, and you're talented at finalising the stanzas on a concluding, heartfelt note.

I love how you use the words 'kissed your forehead', I think that's so sweet :)

As for the last stanza; you depicted Lily's feelings flawlessly - you put what I always imagined she felt into perfect words. Also, the last sentence is amazing like the rest of the poem.

All in all, a very enjoyable though sad read! I'm interested in seeing what other work you have!

- Emma

Author's Response: Thanks so much dear! It makes my day to see a new review! xoxo Margaret

Reviewer: bellaoc
Date: 04/16/09 21:03
Chapter: Chapter 1

Aww...I don't normally like poetry, but this was really sweet. I'm not a huge fan of Sev/Lily, but after DH, clearly Severus is more sappy/sentimental then we would have thought! This is really sweet, and I think it definitely captures the emotions felt by an unrequited love. I like the repeated line too, it adds some good continuity! Good job! :D

--Bella

Author's Response: Aw.... Bella you're the greatest! Thanks! <3, Margaret

Reviewer: solemnlyswear_x
Date: 12/22/08 19:21
Chapter: Chapter 1

Poor Sev! It makes me want to know why Lily left him. :(

I love the repeated line throughout, and that each stanza had it's own second question. It gave the poem a connected feel, and I felt like I was reading a mini-story, if that makes sense. :)

And, of course, platypuses are absolutely awesome!

Author's Response: I know! I never liked Sev until the last book when we learned about him and Lily! Also, I'm glad you share my love of platypuses! Thanks for reviewing! ~margaret

Reviewer: Insufferable_Know_It_All
Date: 08/31/08 10:45
Chapter: Chapter 1

Short but Sweet! Loved it And yes platypuses are v. cool ( >_< )
xXxXx

Author's Response: Aw thanks! :D

Reviewer: sam_1034_lily
Date: 08/29/08 11:03
Chapter: Chapter 1

omg dis is so short but perfect

Author's Response: Thanks! I try not to be really wordy

Reviewer: rayasunshine
Date: 08/27/08 12:29
Chapter: Chapter 1

I think platypuses are the coolest thing since pre-sliced bread.
And I liked your poem, poor snape!

Author's Response: lol thanks!

Reviewer: Hermione Lurves Ron
Date: 08/27/08 9:37
Chapter: Chapter 1

Definitely to that last one. LOL

Wonderful poem, I really loved it. One grammatical nitpick: Asingle tear gliding down you cheek should be your cheek.

 

BRILLIANT JOB! 



Author's Response: i <3 platypuses! :D Anywho, thanks SO much for pointing that out to me! And I'm glad you liked it! :D

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Autumn At The Castle by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
The 'treat' of autumn's glorious beauty is inevitably follow by the 'trick'...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Out of the Blue by Secret Marauder 90 1st-2nd Years
This story weaves the tale of James and Lily from the day they met right up...
FEATURED
Five Christmases by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
It took four Christmases for Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks to get together...
Coming Alive by The owl 6th-7th Years
Leanne Gamp hadn't wanted to be at that party, even though it was Christmas...
Graves by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
In December of 1997, Harry visits his parents' graves in Godric's Hollow and...
CATEGORIES