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Name: Zoheb (Signed) · Date: 01/01/09 23:45 · For: Chapter II: Düstere Nacht
'Columnists'... amusing, that.

Incidentally, I understand you are reading 'Mein Kampf'? If so, I pity you. Hitler was easily the most ramblng and incoherent writer I have ever encountered.

Author's Response:

No kidding! Much of the book is frighteningly boring (though some parts are a bit scary), and the run-on sentences and repetitive language don’t help. Funnily enough, some Germans privately called the book “Mein Kampf mit der deutschen Sprache,” meaning “My Struggle with the German Language.” Having only read the first few chapters (I lost the energy and motivation to continue, though I might try to finish it someday), I understand that perfectly!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Zoheb (Signed) · Date: 01/01/09 23:30 · For: Chapter I: Auf Wiedersehen, Herr Schwalbe
Hah. Nazis. Such amusing fellows. Did YOU know that being blonde, tall and having blue eyes means you're better than everyone else?

I like this chapter. It's got action and mystery and Nazi wierdness.

Author's Response:

Well, hello Zoheb – thanks for reading and reviewing this story! The Nazis sure were weird people – I find it funny that none of the top NSDAP leaders actually looked like their vision of the ideal Aryan supermen; Goebbels especially! Anyway, for my Fascism and Propaganda class exam, I had to pick apart the introduction for some 1944 book on German labour mobilisation – it claimed that millions of people in occupied territories were treated fairly and working happily for the victory of the Third Reich, and that they have been liberated from the lies/clutches of their former “Judeo-Bolshevist” taskmasters. Only one part of that argument was true, and that was the fact that millions of people in occupied territories were indeed working in German factories… as slaves. The document was sugar-coating to the extreme, and I found it amusing in a very dark, macabre sort of way.

But I digress. There’ll be more action, mystery, and Nazi weirdness in future chapters!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Phia Phoenix (Signed) · Date: 11/30/08 4:04 · For: Chapter II: Düstere Nacht

Look, I haven't even read the chapter yet - I'm on a scavenger hunt for my Class on the forums - but I couldn't help but notice "dummkoff", which really ought to be "dummkopf", I'm pretty sure. I have only been learning German for a year though, so you might wanna check up on that... but this looks fascinating, exactly the sort of thing I'd read and I'm gonna print it off and read it at school tomorrow. Have you read The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak? I'd really, really recommend it. See if your local library has it.

I'll be back to review properly tomorrow, I'd say!

Author's Response:

Well, you probably know a lot more about German than I do, because I've never taken it! All the German I know pretty much comes from what I've read about Nazism, so my conversational German is quite lacking - thanks for pointing out the "dummkoff" mistake.

Anyway, I'm glad you like the story, even though you haven't read it yet! Have fun reading it whenever you get around to it - also, I presume you will not be reading it aloud in school tomorrow, correct? But I digress. I haven't read Markus Zusak's The Book Thief, but if I see it, I'd be sure to check it out. Looking forward to your proper review tomorrow!

Just out of curiosity, what kind of scavenger hunt are you doing? For what class?

Tim the Enchanter

Name: hpsupafan (Signed) · Date: 11/14/08 18:10 · For: Chapter III: Schnee-Krieg
Tim, you've done it again. Dieter is the absolute perfect little brainwashed Nazi. I am definetly favoriting this :D

Author's Response:

Guten Tag, hpsupafan!

Thanks for reviewing and liking my story! As much as little Dieter disturbs me (which he does - writing from his strange, strange mind is a very revealing experience), I do feel some pity for him, in which he has no mind of his own and only knows what the Nazi Party has told him. But then again, it's not like he's making any effort to do anything about that, is he?

Thanks for the review, and watch out for Chapter Four!

...whenever I finish writing it...

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Actress_Alchemist (Signed) · Date: 11/01/08 21:30 · For: Chapter III: Schnee-Krieg
WOW! I love this story.
I'm HUGE into the phycology of the Hitler youth.
{and I'm NOT a nazi sympathizer}
Though you mention the fact the boy are wearing short pants. They did have a winter uniform, though I do know they did make them wear thier summer uniform to "build character" as you stated. I think this is one of the most historically accurate {from what I know} fan fiction.
I can't wait to read the next Chapter!!!!

Author's Response:

Greetings, Actress_Alchemist!

Thanks for the review, and I’m glad you appreciate the research I’ve done for this story! As you can probably tell, history (especially of the Second World War) is my favourite subject, and I go through a lot of grief to make whatever I write as accurate as I can. For research, I used websites like histclo.com, and consulted a few essays and other writings about the period, conveniently provided by the class I am currently taking on Nazi Germany.

I am writing the fourth chapter, but I have absolutely no idea when it’ll be finished – the story will be updated eventually, though! And yes, there will be more magic, too.

Once again, thanks for the review and for liking my story!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: luinrina (Signed) · Date: 10/19/08 2:38 · For: Chapter I: Auf Wiedersehen, Herr Schwalbe
Tim, when you requested German language help, you got me interested in your story with all the background information you provided. It took me a while to finally settle down and read your story, but now I’ve read the first two chapters and feel the urge to share my thoughts with you.

You start off with a lovely description of Herr Schwalbe. It’s great how you combined the introduction of a character with a picture of what life in Hitler’s era was like. I as a German have learned lots of Nazi Germany and Hitler’s ideals etc. at school or through my grandparents’ tales, and your beginning paragraphs sound like they were out of one of my history text books.

One morning while walking down the street, a passing woman had innocently greeted him with a salute and a friendly, “Heil Hitler.”

But Schwalbe had stopped, confused – the woman recalled that it seemed like the man hadn’t even heard of the Führer until that moment. Herr Schwalbe hastily stammered, “Guten Morgen,” and flopped the wrong arm in front of him in a feeble imitation of the woman’s salute.

The above sentences are accurate in several ways. Firstly, it shows that Herr Schwalbe seems to be strange and different than the other people. That may not be out of the normality – there are always some weirdoes here and there – but considering the time this story is set in, Herr Schwalbe’s greeting is just way off of what he was asked to say and do in a proper greeting. Secondly, you demonstrated what the Germans were saying, reflecting the time wonderfully. You incorporated their facial expressions and gestures, adding a German touch to it, which is just capturing. And thirdly, as I already said above, the way the paragraphs are written is similar to what good history texts read.

What I believe is missing in this sentence – When he rarely ventured out of his house, he was sometimes seen wearing odd, colourful robes, no matter the weather was like. – is a “what” before “the weather is like”. I think this part of the sentence should read “no matter what the weather was like.”

Then you suddenly switch to the magical part of the story. Two wizards come to the Schwalbe family house in the middle of the night, not planning a friendly visit. It’s gripping how you wrote it, and I like the action sequences you incorporated. Herr Schwalbe fought back, and this way one could see that he was like them, that he was a wizard. Now the weirdness of Herr Schwalbe in the beginning paragraphs is explained, and every piece of the puzzle starts forming a picture – the Greater Picture (sorry, couldn’t resist =D).

What I’d like you to notice though is the confusing way you’ve written “ZVK”. First time you mention it, you write it with points after the letters (Z.V.K.), and some lines further down it’s only ZVK. You should decide on one spelling way and keep it constant throughout the entire story.

The first chapter is always important to spark a reader’s interest. You certainly managed to do that. I’m hooked to go on reading and am sure the rest of the story will be enjoying as well.


Author's Response:

Oh, wow! Thanks Bine, for this great and very long, in-depth review! Also, thank you for pointing out the grammatical and continuity errors – sometimes even my mother tongue confuses me! But I digress…

Everything I know about the Third Reich comes just from whatever reading I’ve done about the subject and from the large amount of artefacts my grandfather “liberated” during the war – photographs of German soldiers with a captured bathtub and donkey in Greece, postcards with Hitler’s face on them, stacks of Reichmarks, patches, and a whole plethora of trinkets. Of course, I could never truly know what it was like living in Germany at the time, so what appears in this story is just my best guess. With that in mind, I am very, very glad that you found my depiction of life under Nazism to be accurate, believable, and interesting - I also find it amusing that you say the beginning of the first chapter sounds like a history textbook!

Of course, there was the first hurdle of writing this story with an ardent Nazi boy named Dieter Heydrich as the “protagonist.” I’ve read a few Grindelwald-era fics, but all of them are from the perspective of the good guys – I decided to do the opposite, and it took me a bit of mental debating to muster the courage to write this story. Then I had to write the story from the viewpoint of a central character and narrator who see life in the Third Reich as something completely normal, and indeed, something good. That’s quite a mental challenge, but the way I see it, in order to understand anyone (including little Nazis like Dieter), you have to think just like them and see the world as they do. It was an interesting experience writing from that viewpoint. Plus, it was actually rather fun putting my limited German knowledge to good use – just using German words and expressions instead of English, which I find quite helpful in effectively establishing the setting and a good way to practice the language.

Personally, I am particularly proud of my very first sentence: “Adolf Hitler Platz was a spacious, airy town square, spaced with trees and benches and bordered by busy shops.” I describe a perfectly normal and rather pleasant part of an adorable little German medieval town… but it’s named Adolf Hitler Platz. I find that rather thought provoking, and it certainly captures my attention.

Concerning the magical aspect, I see Grindelwald’s Zauberereich as having several similarities but many differences with Hitler’s Germany, and that will be explored later on in the story. I actually first got the idea for this story while thinking about what both regimes were like, and I happened to form a story around it as an afterthought!

Well, thank you once again for reviewing. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Flavius (Signed) · Date: 09/11/08 10:20 · For: Chapter II: Düstere Nacht
This is a vey interesting story! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Congratulations, you're very talented.

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing! I'm am working on Chapter Three right now, and it will be posted... whenever I finish it!

Tim the Enchanter

Name: tatjanablack (Signed) · Date: 09/07/08 7:57 · For: Chapter I: Auf Wiedersehen, Herr Schwalbe
Dear Tim,

What an interstering story and I have now added it to my favorites. I am looking forward to see the next chapter and I hope that you will finish this one.

More I can say that one thing I like especially is, that apart from this great plot and idea, is that you are VERY good at dreibering things instead of just dialogs, as I have read many fanfic in that way.

Agian - you have done a great job so far.

Tatjana Black

Author's Response:

Salutations, Tatjana Black!

Thank you for reviewing my story! I actually wrote this story simply because I wondered how Nazi Germany and Grindelwald’s Germany influenced each other, and what that magical dictatorship would have been like. Creating a story and characters to go with it was a bit of an afterthought!

Also, I’m glad that you like my writing style. Dialogue is useful, but nobody wants to read a story where two characters just talk to each other! I think that you can explore a character in depth with body language, thoughts, and actions, in addition to just plain old speech.

Tim the Enchanter

Name: rambkowalczyk (Signed) · Date: 09/03/08 8:32 · For: Chapter II: Düstere Nacht
I think during the Nazi regime, the infrastructure was working well. Trains ran on time and I believe fire departments had the state of the art fire trucks. So unless there is some hidden meaning, I don't think there would be a bucket brigade. If all you needed was a reason to get the people out of the house so that they could be a mob, then I think the fire would be sufficient for that.

Just on queue should be just on cue.

Also I'm a little disturb by the way a ten year old child readily accepts the violence that was happening and wants to participate in, but that is the point of your story, isn't it?

Author's Response:

The Nazis did indeed make the trains run on time, but not everything was state of the art. Considering that the Great Depression immediately prior to the rise of the NSDAP had mauled the German economy, I find it unlikely that they would be able to upgrade the fire engine fleets of every single little town in Germany, even by 1938. Dieter happens to live in an unimportant town of only a few hundred people, so the old fire engine they already have is good enough, as far as the Party is concerned.

Concerning the bucket brigade, I believe that the townspeople wouldn’t just stand idle and watch the corner of Adolf Hitler Platz burn down – after all, their homes and shops are right next door. Since the town is small enough that many people know each other by name, I believe that many of the townspeople would feel that they have a duty or obligation to help protect their neighbour’s homes by using any means available to them – including buckets.

You have good reason to be disturbed by the “protagonist” – that is indeed the point. At first glance, Dieter appears to be like any other ten-year-old child, but he’s a nasty piece of work. He’s ridiculously prejudiced against everyone who isn’t a so-called Aryan and he has no qualms about the use of violence against those aforementioned groups; he even wants to join the SS (Schutzstaffel) when he is old enough.

Anyway, thank you for reviewing my story, and for bringing the fire bucket issue to my attention; I hadn’t thought about that before. Also, thanks for pointing out the typo.

Tim the Enchanter

Name: Fullmetal Jack (Signed) · Date: 08/29/08 23:52 · For: Chapter I: Auf Wiedersehen, Herr Schwalbe
Leuchtend! Das war wundervoll! Dieses geht zweifellos auf meinem Interessieren liest Liste. Dieses stellt zweifellos weg von Ihrem Talent für die collaborations zwischen der Welt von Harry Potter und dem Reich der historischen Möglichkeiten verursachen und sie zusammenfügen dar. Ich schaue am definitivsten, vorwärts, wenn ich sehe, wie diese Reihe ausfallen wird

Brilliant! That was Wonderful! This will certainly go on my interesting reads list. This certainly shows off your talent for creating collaborations between the world of Harry Potter and the realm of historical possibilities and putting them together. I am most definitely looking forward in seeing how this series is going to turn out.

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing my story – I’m glad you liked it so far. I spent a lot of time making up details about Grindelwald’s empire (Das Zweite Zauberereich, as I call it), since very little is said about it in the Harry Potter books. I then decided to write a story in order to explore the simultaneous isolation and interconnectedness of Hitler’s and Grindelwald’s Germanys, but I’m actually kind of making up the story as I go.

Tim the Enchanter

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