I loved this story!!! Great job :D
OMG I absolutely loved this story. The characterization and just interactions between All and Scorpius was brilliant. I loved how even though Scorpius is s o different from his Dad I couldn't help but think that he still reminds me of Draco a bit.
And the end, with the howler!!! Bloody brilliant, especially Draco's awkward response to supporting his son. I can't wait to read more and hopefully there will be another snippet or one-shot showing how Al and Scorpius progressed...
This story is gold. Fabulously written, perfect characterization, everything. Well done!
hehehe i really liked this part :) the best scene was where lily got upset :D
That was good!
It would be nice to see more of this, how things go between them.
Ive read a lot of your stories and this is my favourite. Reading the epilogue of JKs book, I'm almost convinced Scorpius and Albus would be gay!
Oh wow. OH WOW. You're such an amazing author. This has got to be the best story I've ever read, and I'm not even exaggerating.
I love the whole concept of this story, and how you developed the characters so amazingly. The whole story was incredible.
I love this story! =)
It was cute how he yelled at Aiden =P
Very well written. Brilliant how everything came together at the end, good job.
Obvously at first, I was put off that Albus would be sorted into Slytherin. We can see from the last pages of DH that he distinctly did not want to be placed in Slytherin, and given his father's advice, is aware that your considerations are taken into account. But I have an open mind, and based on the reaction you've given the crowd- students and teachers alike- that you have the reader's expectations in mind. I look forward to how you develop the character- flesh him out so we can see the Slytherin in him.
Minor factual error:
"He was also a first year; Scorpius distinctly remembered him from the carriage ride earlier that night. "
First years would have taken the boats across the lake, even, as we've seen, in terrible weather.
I do like the unexpected twist of Malfoy and Longbottom being friends. They aren't instant enemies because of their namesakes which is refreshing, and unique because most automatically make the new generation Malfoys and Potters instant friends or enemies.
So, obviously, I like to comment as I go along. And as I'm reading, I'm beginning to feel like you've jumped too far ahead, Albus is too popular, and Scorpious is too perfect... and I keep meaning to write down my reasons why, but I'm so pulled in by the conversations and developments that I keep putting it off, until I've realized, you've redeamed these characters. Scorpious isn't perfect, he isn't his father, nor an exact opposite and you can see his internal struggle with his very issue- He doesn't want to be his father, but has a lot of his inheirant mannerisms. And Albus isn't perfect either- he isn't his father nor is he the sterotypical Slytherin either. He is easy and laid back, likable and liked- and you have the characters recognize these imperfections and flaws with grace. I'm still wondering why Albus is in Slytherin- what qualities put him there, and I'm closly watching the timeline. The problem with these kinds of stories is often the timing goes too slow (where we witness a lot of agonizing and longing or denial) or too fast (where the characters fall together too quickly and too easily). It is a delicate balance.
Okay, so I had an initial problem with Scorpious questioning his sexuality already, but then I realized, he has an obsessive personality. Well, in these matters anyway. He was obsessed with Rose and even after was still. Now, with the power of suggestion, he's obsession over Potter. I like that. You set Scorpious up for this characterization, and it's that attention to detail that I appreciate.
"It is. He’s not nearly as calm and sensible as he lets on, either. He’ll do everything in his power to get something he wants, even if it’s beyond his reach. What’s more, he’s incapable of half-arsing things. If you try to stop him short of perfection, he can get downright nasty. Mum told me that one time he broke one of James’s ribs in a fist fight just because James told him he’d never be an Auror.”
There's the Slytherin I was looking for!
Hmmm... Very interesting set up you have going here. So yeah, despite my wandering ponderings, I very much liked this chapter and the characters. The timing seems to be working out anyway, and you've developed more than a story about a person and their obsessive love, but you've involved enough characters and events that we have a mystery going on too. What's going on with Harry and Draco and what will happen in Hogsmeade? Something I will look forward to seeing. Your dialouge flows nicely and your characters seem to balance flaws and qualities generously.
Excellent work so far!
Ok, so it's great, really great. The characters are real. good job. Still, I have one BIG concern: will you still continue my favorite fic, SKOM? I feel like you are losing interest in Draco and Harry...
Okay, this story has officially been favorited.
Might there be an epilogue? :D Though if you don't write one, that's cool. This story is the perfect combination of "Okay, the problem's been solved." and "Hey, there's more to come but that's up to your imagination!"
And now I'm really starting to wish that I had a friend like Simon. Darn you for making such wonderful and believable characters!
Mmmm, steamy. xD But sad too. I feel so bad for Scorpius. He's such a screw up. But he's still adorable.
Lily...god, she just sickens me.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my review of the last chapter, I really love Simon. I can see him as an actual character in the HP series. So great job with him!
"Boys are more forward." I'm not sure if I'd agree with that.
Call me crazy or paranoid or self centered or whatever, but when Rose was describing Al, it felt like she was describing me. o_O
Loooved this chapter! Now I'm gonna go read and review the crap outta the other two!
All's well ends well. *smiles contentedly*
Angry Scorpius was probably was my favorite thing in this chapter, but Astoria and Draco's howler was a close second. I was laughing my head off while they were interrupting each other, it was brilliant. And then Lily's outburst right after that, and James "looked quite beyond himself"? Got to be the understatement of the century.
Yeah, once Scorpius got going, it was like he couldn't stop. Besting Aiden in defense of Al...when he and Al weren't on good terms...ack, it made me happy.
the Chinese thing was a nice touch. Good story. Cheers!
That was lovely and long and oh so twisted. I can't believe this chapter hasn't gotten more comments. You had a lot of everything-going-wrong moments, and every time Scorpius tried to fix it or blame someone else it just got worse. Explosive and fun.
Mr Malfoy was not a likeable character. The...unlikeableness wasn't a bad thing, but he radiated an eccentricity, clung to the old ways and the past with an aloof desperation more reminiscent of Lucius than Draco. Also, Simon and Rose were in the beginning of the chapter a bit, but neither really show up after the first scene. Maybe a letter or a Floo, some mention to indicate they haven't completely disappeared would have been nice.
Tension was good, though. You really seem to have thought it out. The house elf's speech, the scene in the Shack, the article and Al moving on with Aiden, and of course Draco's hostility all make Scorpius' poor treatment of Al understandable, even if Al didn't deserve it. And Al was appropriately snarky in the end.
*skips off to review last chapter*
Always love your stories. This one is no exception.
Loved the ending, and the way that the story actually has a problem in it, not just all lovey-dovey.
That was good. Really, really good. As in, I had to keep going and read the other two chapters before I came back to review.
Al is interesting in Slytherin. I'm not sure that's really where he'd be, but Slytherin Al NextGen is the most fun. Scorpius in Ravenclaw with family difficulties is also fun, and he had a quick tongue and enough dignity that he could be still a Malfoy in demeanor and yet be totally different from his father in almost every way.
Simon is cool. I like him. That almost never happens with OCs for me, but he was necessary to give the story a bit of balance, and had personality to match. Bravo.
Slytherin has double potions with Gryffindor, not Ravenclaw, but if they're in their NEWT levels, they're all lumped together, right?
aww that was so sweet =) haha
ur an amazing writer
Another one of you're brilliant fics. Love it! It made me laugh and it's extremely well written. You're a great writer.