Reviewer: gerberb
Date: 02/19/09 17:32
Chapter: Chapter Two - Remus’ Replies

Not bad. I found it interesting.

Author's Response: Thanks.

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 02/19/09 9:56
Chapter: Chapter Two - Remus’ Replies

This is very funny, Bine. I loved the secret conversation that James and Sirius have with their faces. I can just imagine what it must look like to Remus and Peter watching.

Minor nitpick in the Prologue. Sirius wouldn't say "This sucks!" - wrong era -us Brits didn't start saying that till late 80's.

I adored James' questionnaire and his responses to the questionnaires - especially when the one from Lily came back - hee hee.

Very funny and I can't wait for Sirius and Peter. Update soon!

Carole xxx

Author's Response: Haha, thanks, Carole, for the nitpick and comments! Great to hear you liked it. The update... I try but don't promise anything. It can well take another few months if I'm not inspired. *apologises and then hides*

Reviewer: clabbert2101
Date: 10/15/08 18:05
Chapter: Chapter One - James' Jury

Miss Norris with a fluffy bow? That would have been quite interesting. I must say, most of Jame's questions seemed like the sort that I would be most likely to ask.....

perhaps that's not a positive thought.

Anyways, keep up the good work!

*Huggles*

Author's Response: LOL And thanks. *squishes*

Reviewer: smp2792
Date: 09/30/08 20:59
Chapter: Chapter One - James' Jury

i loved this!!!!!!!!!!!!! please make another chapter!!!!

Author's Response: Thank you! Another chapter will come sometime.

Reviewer: Hermoine Jean Granger
Date: 09/06/08 8:36
Chapter: Chapter One - James' Jury

Extremely well written, the plot simply blew me off my feet. The characterisation of Remus in the first half has been developed upon well, and the serious/Sirius joke wasn't out of place, as I'd expected it to have been.

The questionnaire was well-prepared, and extremely James-y. Good characterisation again.

Okay, I have a doubt now. Is the spell 'volaris retro' meant to return the parchment back to James? Or is its function something else? Please clarify.

The article written was written well, weighing the pros and cons carefully, a very well thought out one.

I have a few tiny nitpicks which I picked out while reading through:

'Her friends had waited at the end of the corridor and now huddled around her, without a doubt wanting to question what James Potter had wanted.'

I think the word 'were' has been missed out in the above sentence.

You could always prepare a kind of questionnaire and hand it out. This way you can ask more questions, and get back a variety of answers and opinions.

The first sentence is in past tense, whereas the second is in present. I think the use of the word 'that' at the beginning of the second sentence would sound better. It isn't a major mistake, but I thought I'd point it out.

‘you can hand them out personally in the common room or maybe during meals’ time in the Great Hall.'

meals' time should be replaced by meal times.

Below there are going to be several question.

Firstly, you've missed out on a 's' in question. Secondly, I think the flow of the sentence is better like this: There are several questions given below. or Given below are several questions.

‘Oi, Prongs!’ Sirius greeted them then, having just noticed their entrances.
Here, Sirius just acknowledges James, though I think he should have called out Moony too, as you say that he greeted both of them. Also, an entrance can be made by two people,so you don't need to use entrances, though it isn't wrong.

Whoever said changes are not men’s best friend is mistaken
That should be man's best friend. In this sentence, you are referring to a proverb, so you need to use just man, as in human beings at large.

Professor Albus Dumbledore, (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorcerer, Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, and member of the International Confederation of Wizards)
I somehow do not think that Dumbledore earned all of his titles before or during the Marauders' days. In the memory scene in the GoF, during the prosecution of Barty Crouch Jr., Barty Crouch Senior was the Chief Warlock. This incident occured after James and Lily died, so I think Dumbledore became the Chief Warlock after the war and not during the Marauders' school days. I also think that he gained a few more of his titles after the First war.

To leisurely walk through the village on a beautiful day with friends, visit the Three Broomsticks to homely sit and drink warm, house-made Butterbeer, chat with the lovely barmaid, Madame Rosmerta, and in the evening return with bags full of colourful and varied-tasted sweets – this all makes a perfect trip to Hogsmeade.

Two small corrections: There should be a comma after the word 'evening' and "all this" sounds better than 'this all' in the sentence.

Draco Dormiens Tunquam Titillandus
The original motto is Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus

He swears that dragons are loveable, harmless creatures that are vastly misunderstood.
Lovable is misspelled in the above sentence.

Once again, dear fellow students, think about changes in your life. They don’t have to be big or world-shaking; it’s the odds and ends, the details that can make the difference.

I completely love this sentence. It's so true, little changes can lead to world-shattering ones. The whole synopsis of the article is truly reflected by this sentence. Utterly marvellous, if I may say so.

I can't wait for Remus' column...... Please please update soon!

Author's Response: Are you sure you're not in SPEW, HJ? lol That review has a lot of SPEW qualities in it. Just a tip though: you can use the html-formatting for reviews also, getting parts written in italics, underlined or bold. It's then easier to keep an overview over these long reviews, especially if you italicise the mistake-sentences from the story.

But anyway, thanks for this great review. *hugs* It's good to know that my characterisation is done well, and that you liked the story.

Yes, 'volaris retro' means that the paper should come back to James. I completely forgot to put that into the chapter notes or wherever as an explanation. <.< I shall do that when I go over to edit the mistakes you spotted. Thanks for those, too.

Now to the sadder part: I haven't written anything serious for this story in quite some weeks. Sorry. The update will take some time I'm afraid. But I hope you'll come back when I someday get round to write the other chapters.

Once again thanks for reading and reviewing. *hugs*

~Bine

Reviewer: Andromeda_Tonks
Date: 09/04/08 16:16
Chapter: Chapter One - James' Jury

Halloo Bine!

What with this being a MWPP fic, I am making a supreme effort not to SevGirl all over it, because that's no help whatsoever. Well. It might be very helpful but not so much to this fic.

So. Good characterisation of the bullying toerag and brat *cough* I -er- mean Sirius and James. I liked your Remus too :).

Yes I *did* laugh out loud. It was funny. But only because you wrote it that way. Not because James is funny. Er... yes.

The whole not SevGirling thing really doesn't suit me. When do we get the pocket crosswords of Severus Snape?

~Meda~

Author's Response: *giggles* Meda, you're amazing me over and over again. *huggles* I can really feel how much effort it was for you to not "SevGirl all over" the story. *giggles again* And sorry to disappoint you, but I planned on having Sev's chapter being the last. And I haven't done any serious writing for that story in the last weeks. So you'll have to be a bit more patient. But thanks for reading and reviewing in the first place. *squishes*

~Bine

PS: "Hallo" is written with one "o" only. *hint hint* ;-)

Reviewer: Phoenix13
Date: 08/14/08 0:25
Chapter: Prologue - Not the Everyday Detention

Aww, a cliffhanger! Thanks a lot.

In any case, I'm eager to see how this turns out. I'd leave a longer, better review but I don't have time right this moment. I'm eager for the next chapter! Update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and leaving your nice comment. Whenever I have another free place in the queue I shall update the story.

Reviewer: LunaforGryffindor
Date: 08/12/08 2:51
Chapter: Prologue - Not the Everyday Detention

Brilliant plot! Give us more!

Author's Response: Chapter one shall be up shortly. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Reviewer: clabbert2101
Date: 08/11/08 15:39
Chapter: Prologue - Not the Everyday Detention

It's nice to see you write about the Marauders. I can just picture the looks on their faces when they were told that they had to work on the newspaper. Can't wait for the next chapter, Cheers!

Oh, also, did you mean to say 'heed over to this small little box below' or was the heed supposed to be head?

Author's Response: My loyal reader! *huggles* Thanks for the review. And <.< I'm confused with all these "ee"s and "ea"s. >.> That's a "head over" - at least I think it is... *runs off to check dictionary again. >.< I'll go change it... *sidles away*

Reviewer: starkllr
Date: 08/11/08 13:01
Chapter: Prologue - Not the Everyday Detention

I'm intrigued. I'm not usually a big reader of Marauder-era stories, but this one really captured my interest.

I am very curious to see what their issue of Magical Moments looks like. I can only imagine the sort of reader questions Remus will be forced to tackle!

Author's Response: Wow, I'm flattened that you find the story interesting to read. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Watch out what the boys will be doing. lol

Reviewer: ILoveHarry 3_14
Date: 08/11/08 12:11
Chapter: Prologue - Not the Everyday Detention

I liked it. Should be an interesting story. Upsate soon!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'll give it my best. Stay tuned.

Reviewer: Hermoine Jean Granger
Date: 08/11/08 11:16
Chapter: Prologue - Not the Everyday Detention

Hi there!
The premise of this story is quite intriguing and I can't wait to see what you come up with in the next chapter.

I have a few nitpicks:
1. 'So forget your argument of whose fault it is.'

I think that should be: 'So forget your argument on whose fault it is.'


2. What could possibly possess you to charm Mr Snape’s cauldron like that?

This sentence is in present tense. The prank had already been played on Severus, so I think you should change the sentence to: 'What could have possibly possessed you to charm Mr Snape’s cauldron like that?'

3.Apparently, the imagination of what could have happened alone was enough to let her fall speechless for a moment.

That should be: Apparently, the imagination of what could have happened was enough to let her become speechless for a moment.
OR
Apparently, the imagination of what could have happened left her speechless for a moment.

4.The detention wouldn’t be an easy getaway by any chance, and it was indicated right away the very next day when the editorial staff held their regular beginning-of-month meeting.

In this sentence you use 'right away' and 'very next day' consecutively. This is contradictory. I think one of the two would suffice.

5.five year anniversary

That should be fifth anniversary.

6.But the decision about which articles are going to be the issue’s main focus we shall discuss later.’

I think that should be:' But the decision about which articles are going to be the issue’s main focus shall be discussed later. '

6.‘All I ask for now is that every one of you should work on the ideas you suggested next to your regular topics and then hand the drafted articles in. I think two weeks should be sufficient.

That should be: ‘All I ask for now is that each one of you should work on the ideas you suggested next to your regular topics and then hand over the drafts of your articles to me.I think two weeks should be sufficient for this.

'Every one of you' is grammatically incorrect. And you need to be more specific in the last line. That is why I added the words 'for this' to the sentence. It specified what the two weeks were needed for.


7.Tiffany, who’s usually doing the job, has excused herself for this month.’ Remus slowly nodded.
There is a tense error in this sentence.
It should be written as:Tiffany, who usually does this job, has excused herself for this month.’

The flow of the plot is quite continuous and the characterisation of James and Sirius is quite good.
Please do update soon!








3.

Author's Response: Thanks for the nitpicks, H.J. I'm going to correct them in a moment. And *huggles* for reading and reviewing.

Reviewer: lostinside1
Date: 08/11/08 10:22
Chapter: Prologue - Not the Everyday Detention

Oooo I wish this chapter were longer now. :) I'm actually expecting quite a big "not-exactly-a-prank kind of prank" lol. :P

Author's Response: LOL Chapter one is written and betaed. Should be up pretty soon. Stay tuned. And thanks for reading and reviewing.

Reviewer: Treacle_Heart
Date: 08/11/08 9:40
Chapter: Prologue - Not the Everyday Detention

Hi, I must say, this is a really good plot!
I lvoe the way you write, and I can't wait to read more! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Chapter one is written, but seeing that I have other stories in the queue, it'll take some more time. But not too long, I hope.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
M.I.T.: Entente Cordial by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
A Squib's Journey by ntoforhp 6th-7th Years
Jeffery Potter always had sensed he was somehow different from his playmates...
Out of the Blue by Secret Marauder 90 1st-2nd Years
This story weaves the tale of James and Lily from the day they met right up...
FEATURED
Five Christmases by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
It took four Christmases for Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks to get together...
Coming Alive by The owl 6th-7th Years
Leanne Gamp hadn't wanted to be at that party, even though it was Christmas...
Graves by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
In December of 1997, Harry visits his parents' graves in Godric's Hollow and...
CATEGORIES