Wow. I think most people know that I like to explore the more compassionate side of Bellatrix. That's the opposite of what you did, but I still loved this fic.
I liked the way you showed her ambition and devotion. But I noticed more ambition than devotion. I think it should have been the other way around for straight canon-Bella, which I never really write...
I also liked the end. She realized that she hadn't been fully accepted into the inner circle. What she'd probably never understand is that LV doesn't have a real inner circle. She'd never get what she wanted, which is actually kind of sad.
I'm done rambling now. But I'd like to say again, that this story was really good. *hugs Bella*
Author's Response: YES you reviewed this story. Honestly, this may be a little creepy, but from the day I posted this, I thought, "I wonder what Elle would think of my Bella?" And now you've read it! I'm glad you enjoyed it, too :] I've always seen Bella as ambitious in terms of her devotion. When it comes to the Death Eaters she always wants to be the best, the most faithful, etc. That's the true part of Bella I was really trying to portray in this fic, I suppose, drive to be the best in Voldemort's eyes. Anyway, thanks for the lubly review :D
This is one powerful story. There have been very few, if any, Bella fics that affected me so much. I think you captured her wonderfully.
Kat, this was excellent. As I said in the SBBC, your characterisation of Bellatrix was right on! I mean, in canon she's often see as a character who only lives to serve Voldemort, so I love that you accentuated her personal agenda in this fic. That was really well done. The beginning paragraphs in particular were exceptional - they immediately illustrated Bellatrix as an evil character. I mean, as much as I love fics which explore different aspects of characters... I hate when this is done to the extreme, like, "I'M BELLA AND I'M SO MISUNDERSTOOD - I'M REALLY A GOOD PERSON". I love that you didn't do this. You showed her exactly as we know her, but added a few twists to her character. Well done.
I love the ending, too - "good, but it wasn't enough". Very Bellatrix-esque - pushing herself to be Voldemort's number one, even after she commited a task wonderfully. I can think of several characters who would be content right there, but not Bellatrix. The last line - "One day" - is a bit menacing in that respect - you show her as an unstoppable character, one who could do anything. I honestly believe that in a world totally compliant with this fic, Bellatrix would be standing beside Voldemort.
My only nitpick is that, when refering to Voldemort, 'He' should be capitalised. And, that one passage that Alice and I commented on in the SBBC - not sure that she would have professed her need for power to Voldemort as readily as she did.
But, all in all, this is one of the better character studies of Bellatrix that I've read. Great job, dear!
Author's Response: >.< Thanks, Rach! I loved writing this, really. It was actually inspired by a picture from Roxy's Romance class. Strange, right? It was actually a romance between Bellatrix and power. Also, this is Bellatrix's first task for Voldemort. The line that you and Alice made a comment about was just her adrenaline taking advantage of her. You know, she is young and new to this. I'll make sure to fix my capitalization error :]
First of all, I have to say good work! You and I seem to have the same vision of Bellatrix, because the way you described her is exactly how I picture her to be. Ready to do anything to please Voldemort, to give everything so he can value her, and in a way, give up a part of her dignity. Though I don't think she cared, or at least, she wasn't totally aware of it. How you can be that devoted to somebody, that, I'll never understand... but you showed well how obsessed she was about him.
The warm flesh of the woman’s exposed arms felt alive in her hands. However, the opposite was what she should have felt. Electricity pulsed through her fingers and up her arms, electrifying her senses and contorting the images in front of her eyes.
I love that part, mostly because it shocked me to think that she could enjoy killing someone that much, right from her first murder. (and the shock is a good thing, because you made me react) It felt like you were describing someone who was on a drug high. I could almost feel the adrenaline running through her body. That was brilliant!
Author's Response: Aww, thanks Viv! The story actually got rejected the first time through for that line >.<, but then I just sent it again and a different modly approved it! I am very fond of that line as well, though. Thankies for the review and I am supper glad you liked my Bellatrix. I loved writing her.
My goodness, Kat, I think this is some of the best characterization of Bellatrix that I have ever seen, and I mean that, honestly. Its really rather difficult to get her completely right, what with her need for power, her desire for Lord Voldemort, her unwavering devotion to him, but you have done it so beautifully.
I like that since this is an earlier Bellatrix than the one that we are introduced to in Order of the Phoenix you kept her just a tad bit more in check with her sanity. After all, this is only her first kill and before Azkaban, so she wouldn’t be quite so far gone.
As always, though, your descriptions blow my mind in a wonderful way. This:
As she stared down at the body lying in the damp soil, the same contently malicious grin slid across her face and the power once again pulsed through her limbs, making her skin jump. She was powerful and radiant, rapturous and smug. Everything this woman had lived for was now gone, and all because of her.
is just brilliantly descriptive and worded.
Silence remained, but she felt the glaring eyes of the other Death Eaters on her. The positive acknowledgement from the Dark Lord didn’t please them. But they didn’t matter. She knew that these people standing around her were all cowards in comparison to her. She would forever be the most loyal; she would forever be the one that he looked to in times of uncertainty. She was his.
This was perhaps my favorite bit of characterization of Bellatrix. You show her need for Voldemort’s approval in such a lovely way that really shows her character for who she is. The way that no one else matters to her but him is shown powerfully here. I also love the diction in this paragraph. It’s my favorite.
Soon she would be his true confidante, the one in which he placed all trust. She itched to be his most important.
I just wanted to point out how much I loved these lines. The ‘itched to be his most important’ is really great and Bellatrix-like. Also, the ending was really great. I loved the final ‘One day,’ it was really lovely and ended the story in a nice way that made it feel complete.
Oh, and I also love the title for this and how well it fits the story. I can kind of hear Bellatrix in my head saying it to Lord Voldemort in a longing and desperate way; even though that’s just my wild imagination running away with itself, it’s still really great imagery to put into a title.
In short, Kat, you are brilliant and have a way with words that never ceases to leave me captivated. Good work; keep it up!
Author's Response: *blushes* Haylee, you really are too kind. You have no idea how much I enjoy receiving reviews from you because they always make me feel SO GOOD. No but really, you're awesome. I have gotten really mixed feeling about my Bella in this rather short story, so it's really nice to hear that you thought I wrote her well. She was almost too much fun to write, and I have an itch >.> to write her more and more and more . . . :D Thanks for another AMAZING review :]
Hey Kat! Sorry it took me a while but here I am leaving my opinion on your wonderful story.
As you already know I like the story very much. The descriptions were great and appropriate and they gave the entire story a feeling for the eerie “preposterousness” of the entire situation. I really had the feeling to be there with all the characters, to feel the night and the water and wind and everything else. Really awesome job you did there.
Furthermore, writing this one-shot from Bella's POV made me feel as if I were her, wanting to be acknowledged of my achiement also. I as the reader was very well capable of slipping into Bella's position and crave for Voldemort's praise.
What I loved the most were the following two sentences:
She appreciated the pain. With it came power.
It's a wonderful picture you draw with the second of these sentences because the Dark Mark stands for fear and power. And this sentence in combination with the first shows Bella's real personality, how "cracked" up she is to love pain in order to receive power.
So to sum up: Bravisimo!! *applauds*
Sis! This was amazing. Definitely different from what you usually write, but I must say, astounding. You made Bellatrix seem so real and her need for acceptance by Voldemort is so IC. GREEEAAAT!
I liked this. I think that you have portrayed the characters well.
I love Bella's reaction to the murder. It was cold, but that was the point of it, and your writing gets Bella's lack of emotion about the murder across very well. All she cares about is gaining Voldemort's favour.
I really like this story. It is emotive and well written. It accurately portrays the characters in my opinion.
I must say, you did an incredible job explaining Bellatrix's need for power. Her first murder had to have been difficult to write since she is a murderer and a sadist in every respect. Great job.