Oh, Allie, this is a beautiful poem. *gapes* So sad yet so pretty. It brought tears to my eyes and it wasn't even sad! Yeah, the logic of that escapes me, too. =D
I absolutely love the, um...set-up? I love the way you set this up (I suppose that's what it is...words are escaping me...rather like logic...). 'Remember? ... You don't remember that. ... Only I remember that. ...' Those were beautifully done. I love the repetition of 'Remember?', and I love how you changed it. I think that's when I got misty eyed. Poor James, wishing for endless summers together - 'you don't remember that.' It struck me, somehow. I adore your free verse.
I think this was my favorite part:
But those summers ended / When I ran out of four leaf clovers / And I went alone to the fields of green / I lay alone in the hammocks beneath the trees / I slept alone on the feather down bed
And I dreamt alone / And I wept alone / And I wished alone / For I was alone.
So sad. So haunting. Poor James.
My only critique is a spelling error, and I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’ll show you anyway.
On the cold misty morn
Ad thought of you once more.
‘Ad’ should be ‘and’ of course. But seeing as that’s the only critique I found, grammar-wise and poetry-wise, I have to say your poem is still amazin’ mazin’. *huggles*
awww, thats soooo sweet. did she come back for him? did she huh? huh? huh? pleese tell me! i gotta know!
James doing poetry... interesting. A very lovely and touching piece of writing
Author's Response: Thank you!!! It's not JAMES doing the poetry though; it's more of me writing the poetry from James' point of view which kind of makes a difference...