First off, I was attracted by the title of the story. Bellatrix Lestrange is a character that's often interpreted as having only a single dimension-- seldom have I seen good, realistic, and canonically accurate story of her life in fanfiction. In this fiction, the thing I liked most that while you kept her characterisation as close as possible to what we see in canon; I did find her to be human, more or less, and not just mere demonic. No, that doesn't mean you've portrayed her in a way that draws sympathy, it is just that... well, even with her Death Eater inclinations, we can see her as a person who is strongly motivated by a passion due to a cause. The best example I can mention here is the fact that you mentioned Rudolphus' death in the story and how it was one among the many reasons for her being the way she was.
The style the story is written in is not something I see often. The questions-- rhetoric or not, are quite important to the flow of the plot, and they are situated at crucial points, as if separating one part of her psyche from the other. The flow of the plot is never altered throughout, however, and I really liked that.
The description in the story is, hands down, amazing. I fell in love with some of the descriptions-- the one right at the beginning, where you describe her anger and need for revenge being my favourite of them all. Also, some of the emotions that are described are very, very realistic-- that of Bellatrix, the scarred, emaciated woman, and the same being contrasted with the wild-haired killer who cared for nothing other than revenge.
The tone, at points, was something that jumped out to me. The story throughout is more of a darker nature, and somehow, the first paragraph put forth a different picture-- being an almost philosophical thought there. That threw me off for a bit when I read the rest about her state and psyche. I also thought that it was remarkably consistent throughout the middle, but once again, the dialogue at the end goes a little off-tangent with regards to the tone.
The conversation between Harry and Bellatrix, though, was quite an interesting read. From the description and overflowing emotions, we get to see a comparitively lighter side. The end thought that you leave Bellatrix pondering over was a work of genius: simple language with a lot of meaning behind the words that were said. Small questions can lead to a lot of thought-- this being a perfect example of that.
This is really good-- I've always wondered what Bellatrix would be like. I can't wait for more!
I love stories about Bellatrix. Perhaps it's just Helena Bodham Carter.... Hotstuff. Mmhmm.
It looks really good so far, and I love when people actually put Harry Potter in a Harry Potter Fanfic. =) It surprises me how rare that is.
Author's Response: Thank you. =]. I think thats all you'll be seeing of him, however. For now.