this is awesome. i love how you can really feel snape's pain
Terri! -huggles-
Wow. You have the charactization of Dumbledore and Snape down perfectly. Everything that they said sounded just like something that JKR would have them say. It was amazing. I am blown away by how perfect it is.
I really like the ways you showed Snape's love for Lily. It seems like a very IC way for Snape to love Lily. I don't normally read Snape/Lily or any Snape-centric fics, really, as I'm not a fan of him, but I think this may have converted me. It was beautiful.
Your servant,
Severus Snape
The was a nice touch, not italicizing servant. It's very IC and it shows how much you, as an author, pay attention to details. Readers like authors who pay attention to details.
Severus knew the next seven years with this boy were going to be hell.
I love this last line. It's a great ending to a great story. :D
-hugs-
Good luck in the challenge!
Peace out.
-Mere
Author's Response: Mere, rnHugs to you too. Thank you so much for your lovely words. I am not a Snape fan either, but story just demanded to be written. rnI didn't italicize servant because I was trying to show Snape being sarcastic in his response. rnThe last line was exactly what I thought Snape would have thought when he saw Harry and knew he was going to have to look at him for the next seven years.rnThanks again for your wonderful words. rnTerri
Terri, my awesome beta! *tacklesquish* This is beautiful! Wondfully written, capturing very well Severus' feelings when he learned that Harry was about to start Hogwarts. I really love this story, especially the end when he sees Harry for the first time with Lily's green eyes.
Just one tiny little mistake I noticed: In this sentence - Carry the now small trunk upstairs, he placed it on the floor in front of the fireplace. - I believe the first word should be "Carrying" instead of "Carry". I could be wrong, though... *shrugs*
Anyway, congrats for getting your contest submission validated.
Author's Response: Oops, I guess it's not a good thing for your beta to use the wrong word. Thanks for the review. The story just came to my mind when I thought about what teacher to write about. I'm glad you enjoyed it.rnTerri
