You really build up the suspense! You also explain well what your character's thinking. Rose seems like quite a logical person...perhaps she received this trait from her mother! I would like to read this as a third-person narrative. The Harry Potter books would probably be twice as long if they were first person stories. My problem with the first person approach is that the magic of Hogwarts is merely on the peripheries, and the reader is enveloped with the sometimes petty thoughts of the main character. The benefits of this approach are that the protagonist's experiences are more detailed. Not bad!
Wow... shocking! Poor Rose! I felt a dejavu, it reminded me of Harry's fall in third year! Lol. Well, keep updating.!
Author's Response: Lol, I didn't even think of the fall while I wrote it! Anywho, thanks for the review!
I read this chapter earlier but forgot to review. :S
I'd just like to say how good it is really, I was very impressed and cannot wait fr the next chapter! Is this story already written or are you writing it as you go along?
Author's Response: I'm writing it as I go along, but I have ideas for what's going to happen...thanks for reviewing!
That was a really good first chapter. I'm interested to see where this story goes. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thank you!