Reviewer: ink_daughter
Date: 07/07/08 17:31
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

*reads reference to Edward Cullen confirmation*

*dies*

I didn't catch that the first time around. Thanks, Ankh. Schmergo, I do seem to die a lot when I'm around you. Stop it!

Author's Response: Hahaha, sorry about making you die so much. Are you a cat, equipped with nine lives or something? I do insert a lot of silly little references into my stories... Ankh has very keen eyes, and she spots a lot of things.

Reviewer: Phoenix13
Date: 07/07/08 11:19
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

Bahahahaha, Schmerg and Luna, this is officially the awesomest contest submission ever. Well, maybe except for mine and Evester's (called "No Hope for Those with Notes" *hinthint,* you should read it.) Anywhoo, it kept me lauging the entire time. It's so...random. I love the MNFF as the bad guys, because that's really what we are, isn't it? Haha. I loved your characterisation of Bill and Arthur. It was so...Bill and Arthur.

On a totally unrelated subject, I've drawn at least 3 pics for your art contest thingy, Schmerg, but I haven't scanned any of them. One involves "The Five" as Disney characters...Jordan and Ted are both based off Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid, but they look entirely different, don;t worry.

Author's Response: Awww, thank you so much! This was bucketloads of fun to write. I'm the evillest of all! Oh my gosh, please scan in the pictures! I would be thrilled to see them! Weirdly, I'm listening to the gorgeous song "Her Voice," sung by Prince Eric, from the Broadway musical of "The Little Mermaid" right now. (I'm seeing it in August, my first ever Disney show!) Oddly, I realized after watching "The Lion King" on Saturday that Simba reminds me a lot of Jordan (except he's a tenor with a dad who's a bass, and Jordan's a bass with a dad who's a tenor.)

Reviewer: Ankh of the night
Date: 07/06/08 10:43
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

I found myself looking absentmindedly around the room, noting a cluster of women who had to be vampires (one was eating a blood lolly, while another had a bad case of the uglies and the name ‘Ed’ tattooed on her arm in sparkly letters)
Oh, Godric, is this a making a reference to Edward? *not a fangirl*

Author's Response: This is totally making a reference to the Sparkly Sir Edward Cullen. Who, incidentally, I absolutely hate. I'm going to this High School Musical performance summer camp, and I'm the only kid there who doesn't love (A. The Jonas Brothers and (B. Twilight/Edward, so I tend to get people mad at me. A LOT. So I had to make fun of Eddie, didn't I?

Reviewer: butterbeer_HaNgOvEr
Date: 07/05/08 0:42
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

i'm confused... well not really but my head hurts.
FAVA BEANS!!! hehehehehe.
great job you two.

Author's Response: Oh dear! Basically, fanfic writers control the world, and every fanfiction that gets written becomes a different reality. In this story, MNFF is shutting down, and all fanfictions are getting deleted, which means everyone is dying. The characters know that the only 'reality' that's going to exist after MNFF closes is OUR world, so they come here. And Arthur rips up this story so the people at MNFF won't be able to track where he goes or what he does or control him anymore, because once he comes to our world, he's a real person, not a fictional character.

Reviewer: FinalCow
Date: 07/04/08 18:52
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

FinalCow is two people, unless there's someone else we don't know about.

(which would explain more than it doesn't.)

Author's Response: Hahahaha... now THAT is a review worthy of a story this weird.

Reviewer: ink_daughter
Date: 07/03/08 20:17
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

This was great! No, I didn't get lost or confused, though it took some effort. This story was extremely random, true. but that's my favorite kind. ;) Just about died when I caught all the references in there, though.

I haven't read any of Nevilles Girl's stories either, I'll put those on my list to read next. This story was just as good (or possibly better) than I expected it to be!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm so glad you read and enjoyed this! Yeah, I beta'd one of Luna's stories ("A Day At The Spa"), and I know her wacky sense of humour firsthand (though unfortunately, brilliant and accurate impersonations of Mad Madame Mim do not transfer well to fanfiction), so I am in a prime position to recommend her. (And now I sound like a creepy waiter.) Agh, I use too many parentheses.

Reviewer: Tim the Enchanter
Date: 07/03/08 14:19
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

Greetings, Schmerg_The_Impaler!

This story is simply magnificent. It is an expertly written blend of drama, wild science-fiction speculation, and sheer lunacy – I was hooked while reading this story, and I can’t really articulate all the reasons I can think of to explain how good it is. I’ll simply say “GOOD JOB” and wish you the best of luck in the Gauntlet challenge!

I loved the eccentricity of this story: quite top-notch. For instance:

“…the figure swept out of the room theatrically, cape billowing behind him, and random bursts of electricity welcoming him onto the street beyond.”

That sentence was just a brilliant introduction to the raining electric eels. I was quite confused at first, but then there was the dawning comprehension in the next paragraph – I couldn’t stop laughing. To put it simply, I admire and am a bit jealous of your skills of narration.

Then there is the ending – being so ambiguous, everyone who reads the story can come up with their own unique conclusions (or plain confusion!). My own personal understanding was that Arthur had unwittingly removed himself from existence. Since his destiny is written on the document, destroying it would inadvertently destroy him too – which reminds me of Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray.

Oh yes, I have a question. What does MNFF stand for? I don’t recall you identifying the acronym.

All right, moving on…

“Well, we had Harry Potter do it in most of them,” Charlton reminded him. “Though I think a cement mixer flattened Voldemort in at least one…”

For obvious reasons, that was my absolute favourite part. I really cannot ask for higher praise for my own literary exercise in absurdity. Now I feel obligated to include allusions to some of your stories in my own fics, Schmergo! Anyway, thank you for making my week!

Once again, I must commend you for writing this amazing story. I must confess that I have never read anything of Neville’s Girl, but I suddenly find myself with a need to remedy that. With that said, cheerio!

Tim the Enchanter

Author's Response: Tim, dahhhling! I remember telling you about this story before it was posted, so I'm very glad that you think it lived up to expectations. Oh Godric, I forgot I did this for a challenge... this'll certainly confuse the judges. Anyway, Luna wrote the part about the random bursts of electricity-- she had the clever foresight to edit that back into the story when we were revising at the end (because I was very adamant about putting electric eels in the story-- one title I thought of for the story was "On A Dark And Eel-Splattered Evening.")

rnAs for the ending, I don't think Arthur would kill himself. The idea was hopefully that Arthur ripped up the paper AFTER he got to our universe, where he's a real person and not a fictional character, so I don't think he'd kill himself by ripping the paper. Ripping the paper just broke the connection between him and the sinister MNFF, of which we are all members, so we don't get to read his story anymore. The idea I was going for was when the convict Jean Valjean in Les Miserables vows to take on a new identity and sings, "JEAN VALJEAN IS NOTHING NOW, ANOTHER STORY MUST BEGIIIIIIIN!" and dramatically rips up his passport to swelling and very high-pitched music. Yeah, no one else got that, either.

rnMNFF is never identified-- Charlton says that it's strictly confidential what it stands for, but yes, it's "MuggleNet Fan Fiction." I thought mentioning the website by name might be going a teensy-weensy bit too far. I never really thought up what it could mean in their universe, honestly, because I was too dazzled by my own cleverness to really put any thought into the world I was creating. I'm sure you could come up with a really good name for the organization, though. At the moment, I can't think of anything other than "My Nasty French Father," which I don't think is a good name at all.

rnYes, I edited in the "Out of the Darkness" reference shortly before submitting based on a throwaway comment you made in one of your emails. And I'm really glad I did! It seems a bunch of reviewers are getting the reference-- hooray! (And if anyone doesn't, I'll direct them toward your story.)

Reviewer: ringobeatlesfan4
Date: 07/03/08 12:38
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

Alas, I cannot, and never could, draw. And I have no way to unpload pictures to the computer, so I'm really sorry... although, my friends might have one... I could ask, but their busy talking in spanish and german and i have no idea how to ask 'do you have a photo-upload-thingy' in either of those languages. my life is interesting. {BeccA} P.S. I have read quite a few of Luna;s stories, and you're right, they are all really good!

Author's Response: It's perfectly all right if you can't draw-- I was just facetiously asking. I didn't think you'd actually draw this ridiculous picture. ^_^

Reviewer: Sainyn Swiftfoot
Date: 07/03/08 9:33
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

Wow.

Wow.

WOW!!

Schmergo,

This was really, really amazing! I've always wanted to write a fan-fiction chock-full of fanfiction references, but you've done it already... But I could never have pulled it off like you did! I'm still laughing... I'm trying to count all the references...
Dark Lord's Blog... Out of the Darkness... Douglas Adams... gah! *gives up*

I must applaud both of you. Who wrote the last part? From "My first thought had been, “Oh, good, for a second, I was afraid I’d accidentally Avada Kedavra’d my dad.”" till "“I don’t know how we’re going to get there, but I think I know where we’ve got to go.”"? It was really hilarious!

And I really, really enjoyed it.

~BB

Author's Response: Now it's my turn to say 'wow!' Thanks so much for your review! It's funny, I forgot I put any Douglas Adams references in until I reread it... the restaurant at the end of the universe, myess. But Sainyn, I'm sure you could pull off a story full of fanfic references, one that's very different from this one, but just as good if not better. You're a great writer yourself. I wrote the part from "Oh, good, for a second..." to the "I don't know how we're going to get there..." As you see, it's written in first-person, and I did all the first-person parts. However, I also did the very ending with Arthur ripping up the paper, which is third-person. Luna did the awesome part near the end, with Fleur and the rest of the family, which I thought was a great idea.

Reviewer: Mariangelo
Date: 07/02/08 21:47
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

A very entertaining read, but I bet you already knew that!  >.<  I love the way your minds work, weaving reality with fiction so it becomes... fiction

The characters were splendid and the shifting between POV was done very well.  When I read the story notes, I wasn't sure how you guys would pull it off, but it was hardly noticable.  I think it made the narration more interesting, actually.

Excellent entry and congrats on your gauntlet!

 

~Michelle (The One Who Marauds... in any dimension Remus is still alive)



Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you like it... and as for the shifting POV, Jonathan Stroud's excellent Bartimaeus Trilogy manages to shift between first person for Bartimaeus and third person for Nathaniel and Kitty, the other two main characters. When Luna did her first prompt in third-person and I did mine in first-person, we just decided to continue in that vein and hope it would work out.

Reviewer: dulcet_tones
Date: 07/02/08 20:37
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

Oh!!!! My!!!! Goodness!!!!! I can't stop laughing!!!! This was absolutely wonderful and completely, utterly fantastic! I have definitely never read anything like this and it's awesome! I can't gush enough about this! It's definitely going on my faves list!

~Stacy~

Author's Response: I'm surprised people seem to think this is so funny! And I'm also VERY glad that you liked this and didn't find it extremely confusing. If you like crazy metaphysical stuff dealing with the Department of Mysteries, you might like "Oh No, Nott Again!" a previous Gauntlet entry of mine. Though it's not as good as this one, because Nevilles Girl didn't help with it.

Reviewer: Heiress_of_Insanity_
Date: 07/02/08 20:01
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

Here's the adress for the psyciatric ward I'm being sent to for reading this story:

Room #15, Ward X
Mars Bars Asylum for the Mentally Deranged
Calgary, Alberta, Canada


I'll be expecting a compensation check soon. ;) JK.

Now I must admit, that was a really weird story! An interesting concept, though why anyone would want to kill Bill, I don't know. XD But I lurved it, in all of its strangeness! Especially Charlton and his cloak and wellies and klutziness.

I cut 10 inches off of my hair today, and it feels so short! But it's cute, and I like it, and I'm donating the ponytail, so...=D Yeah, other than that my summer has been pretty uninteresting. And forgive me for asking, but do we have a kind of possibly possible date for the third Pentagon book?

Cheers (and lots of nice, refreshing stuffs to cool off hot summer days)!~

H_o_I_

Author's Response: That's the best name for a mental asylum I have EVER heard of. I'd give you money just for that. Luna came up with the names for the henchmen-- Charlton and Bartholomew-- and the idea of them having a chat, but I got to invent Charlton's cloak and wellies and clumsiness. She invented Bartholomew. WOW, you did the Locks For Love thing? I actually know a GUY who's growing his hair out for that... I'd never do that, though, because I love having ridiculously long hair. Having ridiculously long hair has been my goal since kindergarten, and it didn't really start growing until 8th grade, when I started to take super-good care of my hair.

rnThis summer's been exciting for me... I'm seeing "Lion KIng" and "Les Miserables" on tour, and I might see "Little Mermaid" on Broadway! I'm also acting in the play "High School Musical" as the psychotic Mrs. Darbus and going to DISNEY WORLD! (Yes, I'm very excited. I will do a creepy pose with every Disney villain I see.)

rnI should be submitting the third book the day I submit the next chapter of "Pride and Pre-juiced Plums." This should be in about a week if I'm lucky.

Reviewer: ringobeatlesfan4
Date: 07/02/08 19:43
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

Luna and Schmergo! You guys have the crazyest imagination! I think Schmergo knows me pretty well from the numerous reviews I've written her, but I'll be sure to go and read Luna's stuff as soon as I'm done with this.

I actually understood the title when I saw it, even though I've never seen Kill Bill... a kid in my class did, though...

it would be like Prince Charming murdering Cinderella and eating her liver with a side of fava beans.
^^You guys have a twisted sense of humor. I like it!

Great story, I loved it, but whats up with the ending? I'm guessing that this is the page he tore in half... am I right? Was the word 'half'? That's my answer and I'm locking it in! (I'm watching weird game shows)/ Awesome job, guys!
Luna: Arthur was incredibly well written, and he seemed like that crazy, somewhat odd character that JK wrote. Have you ever thought about becoming an author?
Schmergo: Things I have impaled- grapes, cheese cubes, pineapple, my mother's bed (long story including standing on a quilt rail trying to close an 'imaginary window' a couple years back during one of my more 'hyperactive crazyful' days. Bill was awesomeatastical (please don't sue me for word-copywrite infringement). He was in character perfectly as well. You should be an author, too. And just an off-topic question: When will the next Potter's Pentagon book be out, or the next chapter of Pride and Prejuiced Plums? I've been had some rather strange daydreams during exams involving Ted in a chicken suit, Emma becoming a Death Eater, Haley confessing her undying love for Vlad, Jordan falling off a boat in the middle of DADA class due to his large pile of books, and Ivy running off with Tyrone to pursue a career in professional cheerleading. Please update soon before I end up making my next-gen fic characters do any of the aforementioned craziness.

But this was a great story, guys. And how do you come up with these ideas?

{BeccA}

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I've never seen "Kill Bill" either-- it's definitely not the type of film that I like to watch. But yeah, the idea randomly just popped into my head. And of course I remember you, Becca! Yeah, you'll probably like Luna's stories, especially "A Day At The Spa," which is in the humour section. The Cinderella line is my fault... I have to admit ,the character of Prince Charming has always kinda intrigued me, because we never see his personality. HE COULD BE A DERANGED KILLER! (I once wrote a book-length story called "Spyros: Prince Charming's Side of The Story" where he's a shy, nerdy teenager. And Cinderella beats him up. Yeaaah.)

rnThe ending was the word 'half', so yes, you were right. The document he was holding was this story, so he ripped it up so no one could interfere with his life anymore, but it also meant that we, the members of the evil MNFF, can't read the story anymore. Remember, we're all the bad guys here. So we don't get to know the story because he escaped out of the story into our world. Yeah, Luna told me it was a confusing story, too.

rnI want to be an author, honestly... though I'd just try to write funny kids' books. The next chapter of Pride and Pre-Juiced Plums" should probably be up within a week... I'm really busy with play rehearsals (I'm playing Mrs. Darbus in the play "High School Musical" right now!), and my idea was that I'll submit the third Potter's Pentagon book as soon as I submit "PRide and Pre-Juiced Plums." After that should come more "Love A Duck!"

rnYOUR DAYDREAMS ARE AMAZING. Can you draw? Because if you can draw, I would LOVE to see a picture of all of this. I'm imagining it all drawn in the style of "Meet The Robinson" for some reason (possibly because I'm watching that movie right now.) You're asking ME how I come up with these ideas? How do you come up with YOUR ideas? They're hilarious!

Reviewer: Andromeda_Tonks
Date: 07/02/08 17:59
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

*dies of hysterics* *notices DLB and Douglas Adams references* *dies some more* Schmergo, you already knew I think your stories are amazing (well, actually I think I told you that you stole my personality, but it comes to the same thing). Nevilles Girl you are officially amazing too as of now.

~Meda~

PS Schmergo - I asked my mum if I could experiment with blowing up pop tarts if I took the toaster in the back garden so it didn't do anything too drastic to the kitchen, but she wouldn't let me for some reason...

Author's Response: HOOO-RAY! Hey, where was the Douglas Adams reference? I can't remember what it was... and I might have done it accidentally without even realized because I've totally internalized his books and thought I invented them. And yeah, I had to reference Dark Lord's Blog... as for Nevilles Girl, she was officially amazing BEFORE now, too. You should check out some of her stories!

Reviewer: FinalCow
Date: 07/02/08 17:56
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

Darn you. You've given FinalCow ideas. Now we want to run around in (extremely tasteful) cloaks and menace HP characters. But it was an extremely excellent story that kept us laughing the entire time and utterly astonished at both of your cleverness. So we forgive you.

(Aaaagh. After writing this review we realize we have gotten into the habit of refering to ourselves in the plural, which is just creepy.)

Author's Response: OOooOOOooOOO. We should have a RUN AROUND IN EXTREMELY TASTEFUL CLOAKS AND MENACE HP CHARACTERS PARTY. It's okay if you refer yourself as plural, because if I'm not mistaken, FinalCow is three people, right? (Correct me if I'm wrong.) Hey, and if I'm not mistaken, everyone on this site is a member of the secret evil society, eh? So you do get to menace Harry Potter characters just by writing fanfics.

Reviewer: devil_duckling
Date: 07/02/08 17:02
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

Love it!! You should do another chapter where they meet Jo.

Author's Response: Mmm, thank you! I don't think MNFF would allow that, though. It's specifically banned to talk about JK Rowling on the site.

Reviewer: DivineQuill
Date: 07/02/08 16:32
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

WOW! This HAS to be one of the most original fan fictions I have ever read! I absolutely adore stories and well, anything, that involves parallel universes (I did a science project on them last year) and the way you both tied in MNFF and the actual Potterverse was phenomenal! I loved how you referred to JK Rowling as ‘the boss’ and how you referenced other fics as well (Voldemort getting run over by a cement mixer anyone?) I also love the idea of Fleur working for some super secret organization – it really offsets her rather superficial exterior. This fic was very witty and original (the Silence of the Lambs reference made me laugh), but the only thing that confused me slightly was the ending. Arthur tore the paper in half…now does that mean that he is now in half because the document controlled what happened to him? That’s what I assumed, but I would appreciate it if you could clarify that for me. Anyway, this has to be one of the best fics I have ever read! Kudos to you both for coming up with such a hilarious and original story!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I was worried about people not liking this one, because it's really so weird. And I'm especially glad you spotted the reference to Tim the Enchanter's brilliant story, "Out of the Darkness." Not enough people have read that. As for Arthur, ripping the document in half just meant that now there was no way for anyone to control him, and since this story was the document, the document ended when it was ripped. He doesn't get torn in half-- if you spill juice on the document, Arthur won't be covered in juice. That's a scary alternative, though! I'm really, really happy that you liked this one.

Reviewer: Hedwig with a quill
Date: 07/02/08 15:39
Chapter: Chapter One and Only

GAHHH!! SCMERGIE!! LONG TIME NO REVIEW!!! *supa-glomp* >w<


I have been sooo busy with everything, especially with starting high school this year (gulp). So, it is such a nice break to review you!!


Ahh... well written, and slightly humorous, but in a good way!! Really enjoy the descriptions!!

Oh yeah, have you completely given up on the Voldy sequel? D: *pokes*

kthxbai :D

Author's Response: WOWWIE ZOWWIE! It's great to have a review so soon. Ah yes, high school... I'm gonna be a Junior when school starts up again, if you can believe it. Most of the "well-written" component is thanks to the irritatingly talented Nevilles Girl. I have not COMPLETELY given up on the Voldy sequel, but I've pretty much completely given up. There's a five percent chance I might update, but it wouldn't be for quite sometime. However, I AM getting back on "Pride and Pre-Juiced Plums" and "Love A Duck" this summer, so that's something.

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